Married women who don't take their husband's last name? Your opinions.

[Silverslide]

He got the easy part of the work. I'm the one who's squeezing the baby out. I think it's fair although I guess it would depend on if I really hated his last name or not.

It's not as easy as you might think it is for us guys

I don't think it is. It's HIS baby, too. Why can't its name just be First name-yourlastname-hislastname

 

[denizenofevil]

It's not as easy as you might think it is for us guys

I don't think it is. It's HIS baby, too. Why can't its name just be First name-yourlastname-hislastname

lol... it's just a personal decision. I'm not saying everyone has to do it my way. Don't take it the wrong way. I'm really not a man hating feminist though I am a feminist in certain ways. It's just that I'd like to have some semblance of control over things in this "man's world" where the default is that the kids get the father's surname. I actually don't like hyphenated names. It's the fairest way but it would cause way too many headaches when it comes to paperwork and the kid going to school. If it wasn't for that, I'm all for sharing surnames because you're right. The kid is half his. Of course, my opinions may change considering I haven't found the guy I want to share my life with and have kids with. Maybe actually loving a guy may change my mind.

 

[Chrono Mizaki]

serious mode:

I am not too bothered to be honest. I have talked to my girlfriend about it since we're serious and all... and she's thinking of going for an hyphenated name. Though to be honest... I probably don't want her to take my last name, considering it's a islamic last name and at some point, that last name is going to bite her in the ass.

 

[The Enigmatic Man]

Ironically I was having this very same discussion with my girlfriend just for the hell of it not too long ago. Pretty much she said that her family consists of her mom and her aunts, who somehow all had girls. There are only two boys and they're both gay so my girlfriend was saying that she doesn't want her family name to end and how she's on the fence about the name changing idea. I told her how I felt which is that I honestly don't care. I know it's tradition for the wife to change her last name but I don't really see the difference whether she changes it or not. She even suggested I take her last name. I laughed so hard. That would never happen. All that matters to me is the last name of my child since the child will be the one to carry on the name so for that I would definitely fight for my last name. I don't care if she gives birth for 13-14 hours, I put up with her cravings, bitchy-ness, and mood swings for nine months.

 

[Ophan]

i like to keep it at the traditional level. I guess it just sticks with me, because personally i'd rather carry on my fathers surname. I don't really feel it as some sort of dominance to men, because if a women took my last name, then she's already flagged up the warning sign that i'm hers just as she is mine. I don't see the problem in it being the other way either, i mean society lets us believe that men should be the one to propose to a women as well, but it has happened the other way, ring and all

 

[tangerine]

Ironically I was having this very same discussion with my girlfriend just for the hell of it not too long ago. Pretty much she said that her family consists of her mom and her aunts, who somehow all had girls. There are only two boys and they're both gay so my girlfriend was saying that she doesn't want her family name to end and how she's on the fence about the name changing idea. I told her how I felt which is that I honestly don't care. I know it's tradition for the wife to change her last name but I don't really see the difference whether she changes it or not. She even suggested I take her last name. I laughed so hard. That would never happen. All that matters to me is the last name of my child since the child will be the one to carry on the name so for that I would definitely fight for my last name. I don't care if she gives birth for 13-14 hours, I put up with her cravings, bitchy-ness, and mood swings for nine months.

I'm pretty sure that by telling you that she doesn't want her "family name to end" she meant to give it to her children. If she doesn't then her name still ends when she dies.

 

[AkiraKiyoshi]

Personally, I don't give a damn. I'll take my husband's last name 'cause it's just troublesome if we had hyphenated names or something. I've already got a lengthy last name and I don't wanna torture my child with such annoyances.

If my husband wants to take my last name then fine. Not like there's anything wrong with that.

 

[The Enigmatic Man]

I'm pretty sure that by telling you that she doesn't want her "family name to end" she meant to give it to her children. If she doesn't then her name still ends when she dies.

Yeah that was what she meant. Right before I said "All that matters to me..." I forgot to add her using her family name thing to give the child her name, that's why I started to talk about my persistence of having my child be given my last name.

 

[Eyesore]

I think it's okay if a woman doesn't want to -- But I would expect her to, out of simple propriety, if anything.

 

[Solar]

I love my last name and the heritage behind it so I won't change it unless it made her really happy.

Though I'm a hypocrite because I'd prefer if she changed hers, I don't know why, but the thought of a Misses [insert my last name here] is hot

 

[Fractured_Heart628]

Well, I have my mom's maiden name, but I had plenty of times of it being changed. I am glad that I didn't get it changed, because I don't want my stepdad's last name. I am the only one in my house with a last name that begins with a K. I like being unique. But, at the same time, if I get married. I would like to change my last name to something better, but I would want my children that to have my maiden name as well as a combination of their father's last name.

 

[Sexual White Chocolate]

I love my last name and the heritage behind it so I won't change it unless it made her really happy.

Though I'm a hypocrite because I'd prefer if she changed hers, I don't know why, but the thought of a Misses [insert my last name here] is hot

This


Honestly, the concept of the woman not taking my last name is odd. Not that if she didn't it would be wrong but I like Sam mentioned earlier, tradition. Some aren't fond of tradition, but honestly, I like the idea of having the same names and shit. It also causes less problems when it comes to things like transactions.
But as with any sort of thing with heritage, it all just comes down to your society and culture. Native Americans, for instance, were matriarchal.

But to wrap around to topic, it's up to individuals on whatever they feel like, but for me, bitches better take my name or they take nothing. I don't think I'd ever even contemplate marrying a woman whom had a problem with taking my last name, though. We'd be too different anyways.

 

[fantasy08]

To give my opinion If I get married I personally will not take my husband's last name. I know some people said it was silly,but our names will be hyphenated. It's the only fair way I see. I don't see why I have to give up part of my identity, a name I was given at birth,but he doesn't. It's not like it's mandatory in the first place. It's a choice. If my husband to be gets pissed about this then he has one of two choices. Him and his sexist ego can take a hike or he can deal with it like an adult, and not a five year old having a tantrum.


I also know some would argue that it's technically my fathers last name anyway. To that I say I had no control on what my mother chose to do when I came out of the womb. All I know is that this is my name now. It was at birth and it will be so at death. I will not give up part of my identity just because of some outdated tradition. Besides all my important info is in the name I was born with. My social security number, my high school diploma, my college degrees, my bank accounts etc.

If a man wanted to take his wife's name that's fine with me. As is a women taking her husband's. Just for me personally I'll prefer any future husband and I to hyphenate. Like I said it's fair. He gets to have his name linked to me,but I get to keep what I was born with at the same time.

 

[Bukkake Sensei]

...Do you know how expensive it is to change your name in the United States? Particularly to change it so that every document that you use in this country says your new name instead of your old one?

Not nearly as expensive as you might think. It might end up being somewhere in the range of $150 total, but that only covers monetary expenses. It can be a very time consuming process.

All that matters to me is the last name of my child since the child will be the one to carry on the name so for that I would definitely fight for my last name.

The only reason I have yet to change my last name is because of all the shit my family has given me about it, and they keep citing this as the basis of their concerns; if I change your last name, the family name is effectively dead. I still haven't figured out why this should matter to me, and it seems a bit too narcissistic for my liking.

 

[Dogenzaka]

Not nearly as expensive as you might think. It might end up being somewhere in the range of $150 total, but that only covers monetary expenses. It can be a very time consuming process.

Perhaps it's just different in my case because someone I know had to go through a full name change, but they were a minor. It cost thousands upon thousands of dollars (to change social security, passport, every legal document besides the birth certificate), but then again, it's probably because they were a minor.

 

[MomentoMori]

All that matters to me is the last name of my child since the child will be the one to carry on the name so for that I would definitely fight for my last name.

I would much rather have my mother's last name than my father's, after all the shit he put my family through. If I had the money, I would change it. I've pretty much cut off all communication with his side of the family; changing my last name would just be that final step, in my mind, in cutting myself off from him completely.

 

[Vayne Mechanics]

I don't see anything particularly wrong with not taking the husband's name, mainly due to the fact that my mom has a different last name than my dad, so I'm used to it.

 

[SilverJ-17]

I was just thinking about this earlier. Are there really any men who took their wife's maiden name? I don't think I'll ever let that happen, but I'm willing to allow her to keep here maiden name, if she wishes.

 

[tangerine]

Perhaps it's just different in my case because someone I know had to go through a full name change, but they were a minor. It cost thousands upon thousands of dollars (to change social security, passport, every legal document besides the birth certificate), but then again, it's probably because they were a minor.

Someone didn't read my post. Thousands of dollars... I'm sure.

 

[The Conquerer]

I hope she takes my last name, because my last name is fucking awesome. I lucked out and got a cool last name from my mother's side because my parents never married. I'll be carrying on this badass last name though...