Best/Worst Jokes

[The Jordan]

your momma's a slut

Keeping it nice and simple there =/

 

[NumberVIII]

your mom so fat when she was going up the rollercoaster she was goin down

Wait...that doesn't even make any sense...

 

[qster]

Oh, here's one for you FF13 and MGS3 fans.

Colonel Volgin: I can finally control lightning! Now to find that girl from FF13. s1britishguys1butz

 

[Sawah]

there was a cowboy that went to town on friday and stayed for three days and left on friday how did he do it?

answer:

His horse wase named Friday

that's not a joke that's a riddle

DERP

 

[Fortissimo]

What to clouds wear under their shorts?

Thunderpants!

 

[NumberVIII]

What do you call cheese that's not yours?

Nacho cheese! (sounds better out loud lol)

 

[Jolts]

So a mushroom walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender replies: "I'm sorry but we don't serve your kind here." To which the mushroom responds "Why not? I'm a fun guy!"
(if you don't get it, say it out loud XD)

 

[NumberVIII]

So a mushroom walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender replies: "I'm sorry but we don't serve your kind here." To which the mushroom responds "Why not? I'm a fun guy!"
(if you don't get it, say it out loud XD)

Bahahaha. Dr. Doofenshmertz used that pun in an episode of Phineas and Ferb I saw today. >>;

....don't judge me. Phineas and Ferb is the best.

 

[hotaruchan]

How many pepople we need to clean a bathroom??
I don't know... (worst joke ever : P)
XD

 

[Orion]

So, i says to π, "Stop being irrational."
Π replies: "Get real."

 

[XjXsOlJa]

Ahahaha.
I actually get that.

What did the guy say to the cookie while it was being shoved up a vagina.

A'Hoy there!

Stooopid joke.

 

[AxelRoxasFan223]

What's the difference between a teacher and a train?

A teacher makes you spit out your gum, but a train tells you to CHOO CHOO CHOO!


What's do a woman and a box of KFC chicken have in common?

When you're done with the breasts and thighs, all you have left is a greasy box.


Did I ever tell you the story about the broken pencil? It had no point.


Q: What's the friendliest school?
A: Hi school.

Q: What do you give a dog with a fever?
A: Mustard. (It's good for hot dogs.)

Q: What do you call a bass vocalist who sings by himself?
A: So-low.

Q: Why was the broom late?
A: Because he overswept.

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does
this taste funny to you?

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I
couldn’t find any.

A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He
shouted, Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know
you can't I've cut off your arms!"

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time,
which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate
very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from
bad breath. This made him.. A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Mummy, mummy, can I go play with Grandma?
No, you've dug her up twice already today.

A man takes his poorly dog to the Vet.
The Vet picks it up, takes a look at it and then says "I'm going to have to put it down."
The man replies "Really!!! I can't believe it."
The Vet says "Yeah, well, it is a bit heavy."

"Knock Knock"
"Who's there?"
"Boo"
"Boo who?"
"Boo Radley"
".........oh"

A man goes to the doctor saying he's got a pain in his backside.
The doc tells him to bend over and then he pulls a £20 note out of the mans butt.
Theres more, so he carrys on taking the notes out until theres a huge pile of them.
The doctor counts them and says 'no wonder you had a pain, you had £1980 up your anus'.
The man replies - Well I did say I didn't feel too grand.

 

[The Jordan]

What to clouds wear under their shorts?

Thunderpants!

Stunderwear =]

 

[Fire's fan]

A blonde joke(I'm blonde so it's ok)

What's dumber then 2 brunetts building an underwater house?
A Blonde saying she's going to burn it down

 

[The Jordan]

A blonde joke(I'm blonde so it's ok)

This is actually more of an amusing joke to me =]

 

[Ehres]

so a seal walks into a bar

what's the best thing about fucking 27 year olds? there's 20 of them.

 

[Sawah]

So, i says to π, "Stop being irrational."
Π replies: "Get real."

ahahahahahahahaa i lol'd.

 

[Finland]

what's the best thing about fucking 27 year olds? there's 20 of them.

That was a good one. <3

Why was the blonde disappointed when she arrived to Japan?
She realized that the Sony's 42-inch was just a television.

 

[qster]

So, i says to π, "Stop being irrational."
Π replies: "Get real."

Nice! To continue the math humor:

What does B.C. stand for?

Before Calculators


What do math and prejudice have in common?

They both discriminate (Quadratic Formula: (-b +AND- √b^2 * 4ac) /2 Disciminant: b^2*4ac)

 

[ThePromise]

what's the best thing about fucking 27 year olds? there's 20 of them.

Oh my god that's hilarious, lmao.