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In the Heart



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Traskix

Pie Equals Friendship in YO FACE!
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In the Heart



In the late afternoon, a woman screamed in pain. A pain no man would ever experience. A midwife was present helping the young woman. Outside the small house, a man paced, waiting nervously. He Wondered when a new life would be born inside.

The man cringed when he heard his wife’s screams of pain. He stopped for a moment and looked up at the night sky. He could see a small star, twinkling. Cries replaced the screams, and joy filled the air. The small star grew brighter and gave off a magnificent light.

As the man approached the entrance of the small house, he smiled. Inside the small one bedroom home the woman lay on the bed holding a small baby wrapped in a pink blanket.

The woman smiled as she saw her husband approaching. The midwife smiled and stepped back.

“She’s going to be special, a true miracle,” the mid wife said.

The man smiled back and rushed to his wife. He knelt by her side, staring at the newborn she held.

“She’s beautiful” he said.

“What should we name her?” his wife asked.

The husband thought for a moment. “How about Cora?”

“Cora? I like that,” the wife replied back.

The husband smiled and kissed her forehead.
 

_______________________
 

“Honey we got another letter.”

It's been three months since the young parents brought a baby girl into the world. Kevin and Scarlet were their names. Ever since the birth of Cora, they been receiving letters from an unknown person.

Kevin looked up from feeding Cora. “Again?”

“This is getting extreme,” Scarlet complained. “This can’t be a joke.”

Kevin got up, holding Cora in his arms. Scarlet reached for her while Kevin reached for the letter. Kevin carefully tore the envelope and examined the letter inside.

Scarlet looked at Kevin anxiously. He had no expression on his face.

“Well?” Scarlet said, breaking Kevin’s concentration.

Kevin gulped and turned the letter towards Scarlet. Scarlet gasped as she laid eyes on the blood splattered letter.

“They’re coming tonight” Kevin said queitly.

“What do we do!?” Scarlet asked, panicking.

“We leave, NOW!”


______________
 

It was an hour past sunset, and dark figures ran through the night. About a dozen surrounded Kevin and Scarlet’s home. One by one each figure jumped into the window, landing skillfully into the crowded room.

“They are not here,” one figure spoke.

Another figure stepped forward. He turned around quickly. “Outside.”

In synchronization, each figure jumped out the door heading outside.
 
_______________


Kevin and Scarlet ran across the dark forest ground.

“Are they behind us?” Scarlet asked.

Kevin glanced back and saw shadows jumping along the trees.

“Just keep running and hold Cora tight!”

The figures were gaining speed on the two runners. Kevin glanced back and saw a figure in midair. Kevin pushed Scarlet, and she began rolling down a steep part of the forest. Scarlet tucked Cora into her chest as she rolled.
Half the figures went after Kevin while the other half went after Scarlet. As Scarlet rolled deeper into the forest, her grip was loosened. Cora slipped out of her hands.

Scarlet crashed into a boulder at the bottom. Scarlet panicked as she looked at her empty hands. Six figures landed, surrounding her.

“Where’s the child?” one figure spoke aloud.

Scarlet was breathing heavily. “I don’t know.”

“You Lie!” the figured stepped forward.

Each figure pulled out a blade that shone metallic gold in the moonlight.

“Kevin!"

_______________


Kevin stopped and listened for Scarlet’s voice. As he was about to sprint off, the other six dark figures surrounded him. Each metallic blade popped out one by one.

“What do you want?” Kevin questioned.

“You know what we want,” a figure spoke.

“But why? I don’t understand. She’s just a baby!”


____________
 

Screams broke through the still night. The figures left Kevin and Scarlet’s unmoving bodies. Each lie in their own blood. The dark figures left when they couldn’t find the prize they were searching for.

The sun started to rise and the darkness around the forest began to disappear. As animals scurried from their borrows they paused and listened. A cry was echoing through the forest. A cry of human life waited to be found.
 
Last edited:

Nyangoro

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Alright, so I was just thinking that I wanted to critique something; and wouldn't you know it, someone went and posted something. What luck, amirite? Don't worry, I won't be mean (probably), and overall try and be as nice as possible (maybe). I tend not to sugarcoat though, just saying. I'll be using Annoyance's particular style of critiquing, because it's certainly better than what I was doing before. OK, rambling done, critique/general comments now:

In the late afternoon [comma] a woman screamed in pain. A pain no man would ever experience.(1) A mid wife(2) was present [comma] helping the young woman. Outside the small house [comma] a man paced, waiting nervously. Wondering when a new life would be born inside.(3)

The man cringed when he heard his wife’s screams of pain. He stopped for a moment and looked up at the night sky. He could see a dull star, twinkling.(4) Cries replaced the screams [comma] and joy filled the air. The dull star grew brighter and gave off a magnificent light.(5)

As the man approached the entrance of the small house, he smiled. Inside the small one bedroom home [comma] the woman lay on the bed holding a small baby wrapped in a pink blanket.

The woman smiled as she seen(6) her husband approaching. The mid wife smiled and stepped back.

“She’s going to be special, a true miracle.(7)” the mid wife said [period]

The man smiled back(8) and rushed to his wife. He knelt by her side [comma] staring at the newborn she held.

“She’s beautiful [comma]” he said [period]

“What should we name her?” the(9) wife asked [period]

The husband thought for a moment. “How about Cora?”

“Cora? I like that [comma]” the wife replied back [period]

The husband smiled and kissed her forehead.

(1): Clever; and no, I don't mean that in a defensive male kind of way. I rather liked that line. A much better way than just saying "a pregnant woman was having a baby". Good job!
(2): Midwife. One word.
(3): Not a full sentence. It's just a clause. You want to either attach it to the prior sentence, or add something after it as part of the sentence.
(4): Maybe it's just me, but I find something a bit contradictory in the idea of a dull star twinkling.
(5): Just a quick question: Does that have any relevance later in the story, or is it just symbolism. If it's the latter, then I don't really like it. It feels arbitrary and an overall unbelievable coincidence. That's just me, though.
(6): Use "saw". "Saw" is the past tense of "see". "Seen" is the past participle and is used with the word "had".
(7): Use a comma instead of a period. When a dialog tag (he said, she said, etc.) follows a declarative or imperative statements (sentences that end with periods), you end the sentence with a comma and the closing quotation marks.
(8): Wasn't he already smiling? I don't know, seems redundant.
(9): It isn't absolutely required, but I think it'd be better if you said "his" wife. It makes it more personal. Also, you said "his wife" earlier; and it's usually good to be consistent.

“Honey we got another letter [period/exclamation]

Its(1) been three months since the young parents brought a baby girl into the world. Kevin and Scarlet were their names.(2) Ever since the birth of Cora [comma] they (3) been receiving letters from an unknown person.

Kevin looked up from feeding Cora. “Again?”

“This is getting extreme comma]” Scarlet complained. “This can’t be a joke [period]

Kevin got up [comma] holding Cora in his arms. Scarlet reached for her while Kevin reached for the letter. Kevin carefully tore the envelope and examined the letter inside.

Scarlet looked at Kevin anxiously. He had no expression on his face.

“Well?” Scarlet said [comma] breaking Kevin’s concentration.

Kevin gulped and turned the letter towards Scarlet. Scarlet gasped as she laid eyes on the blood splattered letter.

“They’re coming tonight” Kevin said silently [period] (3)

“What do we do!?” Scarlet asked [comma] panicking [period]

“We leave, NOW!”

(1): Use "it's". "It's" is a contraction, "its" is a possessive pronoun.
(2): I might be splitting hairs (but hey, that's the idea for this part of the critique), but I prefer names to have a certain consistency. It's fine if you explain different name styles (and there are multiple ways to do that); but as it is, it just bugs me to have the family members' names be "Kevin", "Scarlet", and "Cora". I suppose it's fine this time (generally, people don't like rename characters that they've already created), so just keep it as a mental note.
(3): You'd either have to say that "Kevin whispered" or "Kevin said quietly (another adverb that indicates a lowered tone)". The word "silently" means "without sound". If he spoke "without sound", it would be very difficult for Scarlet to hear him ;)

It was an hour past sunset [comma] and dark figures ran through the night. About a dozen surrounded Kevin and Scarlet’s home. One by one each figure crashed into the window.(1) Each landed skillfully into the crowded room.

“They are not here [comma]” one figure spoke aloud.(2)

Another figure stepped forward. He was clearly the leader of the group.(3) He turned around quickly. “Outside [period/exclamation]

In synchronization [comma] each figure jumped out the door [comma] heading outside.

_______________


Kevin and Scarlet ran through the dark forest ground.(4)

“Are they behind us?” Scarlet panted [period] (5)

Kevin glanced back and saw shadows jumping along the trees.

“Just keep running and hold Cora tight [period/exclamation]

The figures were gaining speed on the two runners. Kevin glanced back and saw a figure in mid air(6). Kevin pushed Scarlet [comma] and she began rolling down a steep part of the forest. Scarlet tucked Cora into her chest as she rolled.

Half the figures went after Kevin while the other half went after Scarlet. As Scarlet rolled deeper into the forest [comma] her grip was loosening (7). Cora slipped out of her hands.

Scarlet crashed into a boulder at the bottom. Scarlet panicked as she looked at her empty hands. Six figures landed, surrounding her.

“Where’s the child [question mark]” one figure spoke aloud [period]

Scarlet was breathing heavily. “I don’t know [period]

“You Lie!” the figured stepped forward [period]

Each figure pulled out a blade that shone metallic gold in the moonlight.

“KEVIN!!" (8)

(1) Technically, they couldn't all have crashed through the same window; unless the window fixed itself immediately after one of them crashed through it.
(2): Seems redundant. If he's speaking, one would assume it was aloud. The only time you would verify is if it came after a character's thoughts expressed as dialog.
(3): Why?
(4): Don't you mean "across"?
(5): Try not to get too creative with dialog tags, as it often leads writers into traps. In this case, the "Impossible Tag" trap. You can't "pant" words, so that doesn't work. Another example would be using "she laughed". You can't laugh and speak at the same time, hence the dilemma. Fortunately, the solution not only fixes this impossibility, but it also enhances writing just by the descriptive wording. Here, you could use a tag like, "she said through short gasps of breath".
(6): Midair. One word.
(7): Say "Her grip loosened". It makes the sentence more succinct and less awkward.
(8): More of a preference, but I generally don't like it when authors use the "ALL CAPS" or the "multiple exclamation marks!!!" to express emotion. It makes me think that the writer simply doesn't know any other way to show intense emotion.

Kevin stopped and listened for Scarlet’s voice. As he was ready (1) to sprint off [comma] the other six dark figures surrounded him. Each metallic blade popped out one by one.

“What do you want?” Kevin pleaded [period] (2)

“You know what we want [comma]” a figure spoke [period]

“But why? I don’t understand. She’s just a baby [period/exclamation]

____________


Screams broke through the still night. The figures left Kevin and Scarlet’s unmoving bodies. Each lay (3) in their own blood. The dark figures left when they couldn’t find the prize they were searching for.

The sun started to rise and the darkness around the forest began to disappear. As animals scurried from their borrows [comma] they paused and listened. A cry was echoing through the forest. A cry of human life waiting (4) to be found.

(1): "About" would work better here, as state of readiness isn't really relevant here.
(2): It's not a "plea". It's a "question". These are two entirely separate ideas. I understand the emotion you are trying to convey, but it still doesn't make sense to use that word where you did.
(3): Use "lie".
(4): Use "waited".

Whew! Now that I've got the more in-depth look out of the way, time for some general comments!

1) Watch your commas and your periods. You tend to forget them. In particular, you forget commas when separating independent clauses from dependent ones. With periods, you usually forget to add them to the end of dialog tags that end a sentence.
2) The writing feels more like a skeleton than the final body. The description is pretty lacking. Granted, you use a few descriptions in there, and they are good for the most part; but I feel that you should really add more. It's similar to how signatures are critiqued in the Digital Media section. By comparison, it's like you have the decent enough background, the stock, and a couple scattered effects; but it's too empty.
3) As far as the story goes, all I can really say is that I see potential (still, I'm usually able to say that). As it stands, there isn't anything that's really unique or standout-ish. I understand that's impossible to be completely original, but the challenge that writers have (especially writers today) is how to make the original interesting. All in all, it could be a really good story; but it's only the beginning, so I can't say for sure.

Keep at it and keep improving!
 

Traskix

Pie Equals Friendship in YO FACE!
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thanks Nevermore, i'll fix it later. Heres another post and i know this isnt perfect but i'm in a rush


____________


“She’s going to be special, a true miracle”

“What should we name her?”

“How about Cora?”

“You know what we want”

“But why? I don’t understand. She’s just a baby”
 
 

Cora opened her eyes and sat up. She slept in a small room that had six beds in a row.

“Cora! Finally your awake.” Bell shouted.

Cora had three close friends here. Where was here exactly? It was foster home that many orphans or homeless kids lived.

“What time is it?” Cora asked

“Way too late! We been waiting.”

“For what?”

“For you. We have a surprise”

“Ugh you know I hate surprises, especially today”

Bell walked to Cora’s bed and sat down. “Just because its your birthday”

“Yeah, the birthday where I’m forced to leave”

The room shook for a moment, like an earthquake chose this specific area.

Bell looked around then to Cora. “Seriously you need to get that checked”

“What!? I don’t know when its going to happen”

“Stop changing the subject and get ready! Asona and John are waiting outside”

“But I didn’t, Ugh!”

Bell laughed. Cora gave her a dirty look and went into the restroom.
 
________________
 

“Okay do I really need to be blindfolded” Cora asked

“Yes you do”

Bell guided Cora through the front yard. In the front yard they always met at the old tree. The roots lifted off the ground and grew in different directions. The roots formed different shapes, perfect for sitting down or just to be alone.

Bell slid the blindfold off. “Happy birthday!”

The first thing Cora saw was Asona and John holding a cake. The candles on top were a one and an eight.

“Thanks guys” Cora replied

“Oh wait you got to blow out the candles” John said

“And make a wish” Asona added

They sat the cake down. John pulled a match from his pocket and swiped it along the tree. He lit the candles carefully and smiled.

“Okay make a wish”

“Do I have to?”

“Yes!” Bell said pushing Cora towards the cake.

Cora stood and looked down at the tiny cake. What should I wish for? Cora thought.

“Okay” Cora thought aloud.

She bent down a blew out the candles. Her friends cheered.

“Yay! Now present time!” Asona shouted

“What!?”

“It can't be a birthday party without presents” Bell said

“I’ll go first!” John shouted

Cora smiled as John handed her a small rectangular shape. Cora ripped the paper and revealed a shiny silver pocket knife. The blade popped out making the three girls jump.

“Oh a knife” Cora said

“Yeah, its dangerous out there” John said. He grabbed the knife and pushed the blade back in.

“Thanks John” Cora said. She reached for the knife and put it in her pocket.

“Okay me next!” Asona cried. She handed Cora a small box.

Cora lifted the top off the box. It was a music box. It played a peaceful tune and had a tiny ballerina dancing inside.

“Aww, it’s so cute” Cora said “Thanks”

“My turn!” Bell said

Cora turned to Bell. “Close your eyes” Bell said

“Again?” Cora complained

“Just do it”

Cora sighed and closed her eyes. She felt Bell grab her wrist and tying something on.

“Okay you can open them” Bell said

Cora lifted her wrist and saw a bracelet made of different colored strings.

“Just a reminder so you won’t forget us” Bell said

Cora smiled. “How could I ever forget you guys”
 
“Cora” a female voice echoed.

Everyone turned to the direction of the voice.

“Ugh its ‘Mother Matthews’” Asona said sarcastically.

“She’s already kicking you out Cora” John said

“Well it was going to happen sooner or later” Cora replied

Cora walked towards the front door where Mother Matthews stood.


“Today is the day” Mother Matthews said as Cora approached her.

“Yeah”

“Go pack your things and leave. We’re getting new children later today and I need to make adjustments”

Cora nodded. Mother Matthews stepped aside to let Cora past through the door. As she walked by the earth shuddered for a moment.

Cora entered the empty room. In front of her bed was a chest. It creaked as she opened the top. Inside was a backpack and a few clothes she owned.

Before Cora left she remembered something. She reached inside her mattress and pulled out a cloth. Inside the cloth was money Cora been saving over the years.

Cora put the money carefully away. She stood and looked around the room. This was the one place in the world that she called home. Where else is there to go when Cora had nothing.

Cora took one last look and turned to leave. She jumped as Mother Matthews came into view. She stood blocking the doorway.

“All packed?” Mother Matthews asked

“Yes, I’m ready to go” Cora answered

“Cora before you go I think you should have this” Mother Matthews handed Cora a thick leather book. “It was your father’s journal”

Cora held the book tightly. “My father?”

“Yes, they found it with him the day he died. I been saving it for eighteen years”

“I don’t know what to say” Cora said bringing the journal closer to her chest. “Thank you”

Mother Matthews smiled. Cora smiled back and left the room.
 

When Cora opened the front door her three friends stood.

“Your present” Asona said holding the music box.

Cora swung her backpack around and put the music box inside.

“Hey what’s that?” Bell asked

“It’s my father’s journal” Cora said

Everyone stayed silent. Cora slid the journal inside her backpack.

“Well I guess this is goodbye” Cora said

“Yeah” her friends said sadly.

They stood awkwardly, not knowing what to say.

“You better write” Bell blurted out

Everyone laughed.

“Everyday” Cora said. Cora moved her arms up and shaped her hands into a heart shape. Her friends did the same.

“You guys still have a chance, to get a family” Cora said putting her arms down.

“Cora we’re your family” John said

“Always”

Asona, Bell and John crashed into Cora. They embraced in a hug and tears streamed down each face. The special moments shared are engraved into each mind. Memories that can’t ever be replaced.

They let go wiping the tears before anyone saw. Cora smiled and started to walk off. When she reached the front gate she turned back. Her friends still stood watching her leave. They held up their arms and made a heart shape out of their hands. Cora did the same. She wiped a tear and turned to open the gate.

Asona, Bell and John sighed. They looked at each other sadly.

“She’s gone”

Bell rushed inside with Asona following. John looked down then reached to open the front door.
 

Marluxia777

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So this is that story u wouldn't tell me about lol I luv it Krista! you've got a nack for writing I believe....good story :)
 

Traskix

Pie Equals Friendship in YO FACE!
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yay!!!!!!! im in it!!!!! aw! and that's sad. Mother Matthews sounds like a bitch

haha yeah but u would to if u had to take care of alot of kids

I'm in! WOOT!|

Krista your back! *HUGS*

Woooo! lol

i'm in it as well and damm that was sad and a very touching moment why cora had to leave *cries*

haha i know, i cried

This is a good story :D I like it krista!

Thanks Ember =)

So this is that story u wouldn't tell me about lol I luv it Krista! you've got a nack for writing I believe....good story :)

haha yeah it was

_________________


Cora walked down a path that led to a nearby town. The town was a thirty minute walk, and she’s been to the town twice. As she strolled she hummed, looking at the nearby scenery. The forest around her was silent, making Cora feel a little annoyed.


“Ugh,” Cora said

She stopped and looked around. Nothing was moving, everything still. Cora sighed and closed her eyes. She relaxed and concentrated on one thing.

Moments passed and Cora still stood with her eyes closed. Underneath her the earth shifted and moved.

“Whoa,” Cora said opening her eyes, she lost her balance for a moment.

Cora planted both feet to the ground and looked around her. It was still empty but beside her was a small crack revealing the earth inside.

“Why does this happen?” Cora asked herself.

She shook her head and looked straight ahead of her. Cora thought to her self and smiled. She closed her eyes and a gust of wind blasted from behind her to the front. As the wind traveled the earth lifted in sharp spikes.

Cora opened her eyes and seen what she created. The spikes that formed were three feet high and intertwined to more spikes. She walked around the spikes and noticed how sharp they are.

“I hope no one runs into those,” Cora said, laughing to herself.
 

Aria

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Messages
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I really like this story! The first two chapters had some mistakes like Nevermore said but you fixed most of them I think. Good job!!!!
 

Traskix

Pie Equals Friendship in YO FACE!
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woah................. O.0

yes whoa, O___________o .....lol

i wonder if thats the forest that her parents were killed

its close

That was weirdly cool lol. Spiky *touches spikyspikespike* 0______o

haha didnt ur mom tell u not to touch spikey objects xP

I really like this story! The first two chapters had some mistakes like Nevermore said but you fixed most of them I think. Good job!!!!

yeahhh i fixed the first one, i havent fixed the second one. But im trying my best, Thanks Cara ^^

EDIT: Whoa i just noticed ur name is like Cora, didn't mean that but still awesome! lol

____________________

Cora reached the town of Naji. As Cora entered the town, it looked completely different from what she remembered. It was busy and full of life. People of different colors and backgrounds filled every inch with excitement.

Cora started to get excited herself. Being around so many people smiling, made her smile. But she had to focus, she had to find a young women named Amber. Everyone who had to leave at the age of eighteen was sent to her.

Cora stopped at a nearby restaurant that had tables and chairs outside. She scanned for a table that was clear. Two people got up from a table, Cora immediately ran for it. She threw herself on it, causing a mini scene. Cora blushed as nearby people stared at her.

Cora put her backpack onto the table, and reached inside it. Her heart almost stopped as she seen her father’s journal. Cora moved it aside and grabbed a piece of paper. She unfolded the paper to reveal it as a map.

It was a map of Naji, Cora had to find where Amber lived or she wouldn’t have a place to stay. She stared at the map, getting frustrated. Cora couldn’t even find where she was on this map.

Cora slammed the map on the table in frustration. She crossed her arms and leaned back on the chair. As she sat the earth shook beneath. Cora’s eye’s widen as she heard the gasps of the people sitting around her.

“That’s not good,” Cora said to herself.

Just relax, just relax. Cora thought. After a moment of sitting still, Cora was calm.

“Welcome to DT’s Grill, what can I get you?” a waiter asked.

Cora turned to the waiter. “Um, I’m not here to eat,”

“Oh, sorry. Well if there’s anything I can get you just let me know,”

The waiter bowed his head in apologies and walked off.

“Wait!” Cora shouted.

The waiter stopped and turned to Cora. Cora took a good look at the waiter. He looked around Cora’s age and seemed very nervous.

“Yes?”

“I need help finding a place,” Cora said.

The waiter’s face became relieved. He walked back to Cora’s table.

“What place are you looking for?” he asked.

“I need to find a women named Amber at this address,” Cora gave the waiter a card.

The waiter looked at the card and a huge smile stretched on his face. Cora wanted to back away from the creepy smile, but that would be rude.

“Do you know her?” Cora asked.

“Yeah, I live with her. Well I was sent to live with her because, well I’m sure you know” he said. “I’m Max by the way,”

Cora laughed. “I’m Cora, and where does she live anyway?”

Max looked down at the map on the table, he chuckled.

“What?”

“That’s an ancient old map you have there,” Max pointed out.

“Well wonder why I couldn’t find her house,” Cora said.

“Yeah this place has grown a lot,” Max said.

“So, how do I get to Amber’s house?” Cora asked.

“Well I get off of work in thirty minutes or so. Can you wait and we can go together?” Max asked.

Cora thought about it for a moment. “Sure,” she replied.

Max smiled. “Alright, cool. Well I better get back to work, I just started and don’t want to get fired,”

“Okay, I’m going to look around and I’ll come back here,”

“Okay, see ya.” Max said walking back to the restaurant behind him.

Cora leaned back in her chair when Max was completely gone. I wonder what Asona, Bell and John are doing now? she thought.
 
Last edited:

Traskix

Pie Equals Friendship in YO FACE!
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whoo max there to lol and dt place i wouldn't trust the food lol

haha someone might spit it in xP

Hell yeah! But it should be a bar and grill. 99 bottles of bear on the wall!!!!!!!!!

haha someone had to much to drink XD

:D I have a friend named Amber and an aunt named Kara. a little wierd and off topic, but yeah. awesome chappy!

haha remember random is good

Lol I'm in it!!!! *feels fuzzy* yay lol! .I liked that chappy keep it going!!!

lol u havent even been introduced yet, its coming though

______________________

“Cora there you are,” Mother Matthews said.

A Cora looked up ay Mother Matthews. Her eyes sparkled with tears building up.

“Cora, what’s wrong?”

Cora wiped her eyes. “I don’t have a mommy and daddy,”

Mother Matthews crouched down so she could be eye level with Cora. “Your mommy and daddy loved you very much, they did everything they could to protect you,”

“But no one loves me,” Cora said.

“We love you here, and whenever a family comes they’ll love you to,”

“Will I get a family?”

“Of course, and if you don’t you can always stay here,”

“Forever?”

“As long as you want,”

Cora smiled and put her small arms around Mother Matthews. Mother Matthews returned the hug.



 
She lied. Mother Matthews lied. But of course she would do that to keep a four year old from crying.
Now the much older Cora sighed and stood up from her table. She walked away from the restaurant leaving that memory behind.

Cora looked back and seen a sad little girl, sitting looking at the people who passed by. The little girl looked at Cora. The little girls image disappeared, like a ghost.

Cora gasped, now she seen Max in the background bringing someone’s food to a table. Max seen Cora and waved. Cora did a fake smile and waved back.

She quickly turned and walked into the river of people. Cora got lost in the crowd of people, finally she broke out falling onto the sidewalk. People passed not looking down, Cora got up and dusted herself off.

Cora looked to her left and seen a small park down an alley. The park was more like a yard. It was a small circle of grass and in the middle was a short fruit tree.

Cora sat on the bench, looking at the sunlight from above shooting down on the tree. Cora pulled out her father’s journal from her backpack. It was a dull brown color with dark red spots.

Cora inhaled and opened the book. The first page was dated when Cora’s father was only seventeen.

Today I seen a girl and she was beautiful. Her name is Scarlet. I tried to talk to her but I was nervous. Maybe I’ll try tomorrow, but what would I say? And what if she doesn’t want to talk to me? I just need to gather up my courage and talk to her, maybe she’ll be the one for me.

Cora smiled. She turned to the next page.

Wow! So today I talked to her, and she is great! We talked and talked for hours. Even when we couldn’t think of anything else to say, it didn’t feel awkward, if felt nice. I never felt this way, I hope I don’t lose my mind over this girl.

Cora laughed, her father did lose his mind. She skipped some pages and stopped at one.

So today I’m going to ask Scarlet to marry me. I AM SO NERVOUS! What if its too soon to ask, but it cant be. We been together for two years now. I got her a ring but its not that fancy. I don’t have a lot of money but she knows that and still loves me. Wish me luck!

A tear streamed down Cora’s cheek. This was like meeting her parents in real life. She looked up from the journal. She noticed the sunlight moved from the tree.

“Uh-oh, I better get back to Max,” Cora said to herself.

Cora packed the journal in her backpack and ran down the alley. Cora ran through the crowd of people. She tried to spot the big DT’S GRILL sign. Cora spotted the restaurant, Max was standing in the front of it.

“Hey!” Max shouted as Cora approached.

“Hey, sorry I’m late,” Cora said between breaths.

“Actually you’re right on time,”

“Good,”

“Come on lets go, Amber is probably bouncing off the walls waiting for you.”

Cora laughed and followed Max into the crowd.
 
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