I'm going to have to ask you to hold off on that post Roxie. There are some things we need to work out regarding your template first.
Name: Pietro Maxwell
Age: 20
Gender: Male
Appearance: Pietro has a short cropped hair that is mixed in black and white which he got it from a witch when he was a little boy by accident and it seemed to fit his style. He does have clear sea-blue sets of eyes that seems to reach no depths when you look at him. Now a young adult himself, he is starting to sport a well-rounded beard that reaches from both sides of his face as well on his upper mouth. Standing at six feet tall, he has a well-toned body due to him being part of the Sword Guild as well his arms and hands from using his sword day and night to protect civilians from anything that pops up. As part of the Sword Guild, he is fitted in his knight armor that provides protection to his vital organs while giving him the speed of a wolf when striking anywhere to ensure the enemy is down. When not wearing his armor, he usually wears what appears to be middle class leather boots, light blue pants, and a shirt that seems to be well managed. While Pietro might live like royalty, he’d rather live comfortably and prefers to be friends with all social statuses, whether they be poor, middle or rich.
Story: Only three months in his training to be a true knight, Pietro has already gained fame for being the youngest knight to be part of the Guild while known to be a fighter that refuses to lose to the point he will do about anything to gain a win, clean or not. While the citizens of Azure, Blueshire enjoys him because of his love for them, the members of the Sword Guild thinks him as reckless and isn’t fond of him due to his special situation when he was little and often plays jokes or teases him to the point that Pietro would rather fight them down but decides to rebuff them, knowing it would make the head of the Sword Guild to fire him for those things. Many would enjoy that, even Frederick. Especially Frederick himself. As a future potential candidate to be the Captain of the Guild, Pietro himself has taken numerous jobs from the town people and sometimes has to team up with other guilds to ensure the mission is accomplished. He is currently on protection detail on the mysterious artifact due to be unveiled during the festival and unknown to himself, he’d be part of something incredible that will lead him to making new friends.
Personality: Pietro is always ready for anything that comes his way, good or bad. It’s hard to believe how far Pietro has come and is adored by many, but that is because of who he is: kind-hearted, willing to change things to suit the situation and to ensure that justice be served the right way, not the corrupt as some others would like to do. He has a such moral sense of justice that the members of the Sword Guild has taken to calling him Boy Scout based on his sense of honor and justice which fits Pietro perfectly into the Sword Guild. He can be both truthful and lying at the same time to trip up whoever he’s talking to so he knows who to trust and not to trust; it’s a work in progress. However, he still can be loyal to those he considers friends.
Race: Human
Fight: Striving to be the best at everything, Pietro is talented in everything he considers to be a weapon but mainly uses swords as he is naturally wonderful with it. It may be heavy at first but as you get used to it, it is very deadly in combat and allows him to take down many enemies as possible. He is also able to use his environment to his advantage, no matter how big or little it can be by throwing sand to the face of his enemy, or insulting them to make a mistake that will cost them dearly.
Skills: Combo Chain: Pietro can chain combos to maximize damage to his foes for a time until he becomes tired to the point that he requires protection until he gets his second wind.
Kingdom: Blueshire
Command: Sword Guild
Other: Pietro considers himself to be an accomplished cook in the kitchen when he is not working on any missions.
And there's my template!
1) Pietro's backstory is muddled and doesn't make a whole lot of sense. In the story section of your template, you state that members of the Sword Guild aren't fond of him because of his special situation as a kid. What situation? Are you referring to the witch changing his hair color, why would he be hated for that? That isn't the main issue with that though. Scroll down to the personality section and you state that Pietro has a moral sense of justice that earned him the nickname Boy Scout, making him fit in well with the members of the Sword Guild. This begs the question, does he fit in with the Sword Guild, or doesn't he?
2) Back to his golden morals, you state that Pietro makes sure justice is served the right way, not turning to corrupt methods. With this sense of justice, and a nickname like Boy Scout, I don't imagine this same person fighting dirty and throwing sand in someone's face during battle. Battle brings up our next point.
3) This dude sounds absolutely perfect, and not in a good sense. Superman is my least favorite superhero, mainly for the fact that he has almost every power and almost zero weaknesses. You never have to wonder what will happen to superman, which makes him uninteresting. Pietro wields a sword, which you state is heavy in the "Fight" section, and wears a suit of armor as stated in the appearance section. This sunds like a man that would be quite the heavy hitter, but rather slow in combat. But, you nixed the slow issue by stating that he had "the speed of a wolf when striking anywhere to ensure the enemy is down." Protected by knights armor, heavy damage with his heavy sword, and wolf-like speed makes for something of a God character. To press this matter further, Pietro is talented in every weapon
on top of the dirty methods he uses to win a fight. So basically, hand Pietro half of a broken broomstick and some glitter, and he will absolutely destroy any fighter using that, his swift speed, and any dirty tactic he can muster. It's simply too much.
4) Not only is Pietro the unbeatable man, but he is the wittiest son of a gun this side of the Mississippi. He can both tell the truth and lie (at the same time!) to outsmart anyone he is talking to and figure out whether he can trust them or not right then and there? That's a power play just waiting to happen.
Pietro seems to be facing quite the identy crisis right now Roxie, the template is a bit of a mess. Work on it a bit, get everything all cleaned up and in order (make sure everything is consistent), and then bring the template back and I'll look over it again to see if we can get Pietro suitable for posting.
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