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Help/Support ► This couldn't get anymore f'd up...



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Counter Shock

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Barely know where to start...

Ok, so me and this girl have been talking for a little over three years... we've always been into each other but the problem was we lived on opposite sides of the country so we never tried to be anything more then friends.. which secretly killed me inside because I couldn't explain the way I felt for her.. every day it was more and more and I couldnt get her out of my head. How the f*ck could I feel like this for someone I've never met in person?

So recently she lost her roommate, and wants me to move out there. she's sent me the app for the apartment to put me on the lease and I've been applying online for jobs out there. I have a full time job where I live and am hoping I somehow get lucky and find somthing similar out there... I'd be leaving all my friend and fam to go out there, some 1500 miles away.

I've never exactly been close to my family so thats not a huge deal. but am I crazy for wanting to leave everything behind to move clear across the country to be with a girl I've never met in person? My brain says yes. Everyone I ask says yes... but heres the thing.. I enlisted in the Marines and ship for basic this august. So I have roughly 6 months to be with her. Part of me feels I'll always regret it if I dont try and move out there and see what happens between us.

It's a HUGE risk doing this... But I don't want to live the rest of my life wondering what if... Any advice? I haven't slept in a few days and am stressed out of my mind. I honestly can't take much more.

Thanks for any responses.
 

Vayne Mechanics

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do it

6 months is more than enough time to determine if it was a good choice or not and to build a relationship. if it wasn't what you expected, then you'd be hitting up the marines anyway. if it was, then you could develop a nice strong relationship with her within those 6 months, keep in contact during the marines and etc.
 

Counter Shock

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Pretty much what I was thinking. A side problem is most people think she's using me.. and she'll be getting the app for the apartment with my driver liscense # and social #, so i'm putting alot of trust in her. Something else people dont get. She has a shady past, and is known for using people, but for some reason I trust her completely.

Well thank you for the response.
 
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I agree with Ken on this. Six months isn't a whole lot of time, especially if you have the marines to fall back on.

Now, the driver's license/social security number worries me a bit. Why can't you do that yourself? I'm not very experienced in getting leases for apartments, but I don't why she needs your information.
 

Counter Shock

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well we both have to fill out the app to give to her landlord. I put all my info in the co-tenant part, then she fills out the rest. but she will see my info while she's filling out her part so thats the problem.
 

ChrisP

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do it

6 months is more than enough time to determine if it was a good choice or not and to build a relationship. if it wasn't what you expected, then you'd be hitting up the marines anyway. if it was, then you could develop a nice strong relationship with her within those 6 months, keep in contact during the marines and etc.

Pretty much this. If you truly feel about this girl, you should at least make an attempt. And if the worse comes, you can always revert to the Marines.
 

Counter Shock

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This is all hoping I can find a job. Applying for a job online in a different state is pretty aggrevating. I have 3 out already, I'm going to call tomoro and check on them, but I feel stuck right now.
 
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She has a shady past, and is known for using people, but for some reason I trust her completely.

It's obvious that you already know the answer to this question. Don't be an idiot.
 

Taylor

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I'm with Sam 100% on this one. Seriously, you don't know what she'll do with your personal info, especially if she's prone to using people.

I wouldn't risk it.
 

Decrith

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Ask yourself questions. Before making any decisions. We can give you advice, but ultimately, its still your choice.
You should ask
1. Is it worth the risk?
2. Do you really like/love her?
3. Do you think that 6 months can make something happen?
4. Do you think that after that 6 months, you'll still have a strong and honest relationship even though you are apart.

I've been in a similar scenario (except for the military thing) and had to leave the girl I like. Now I completely regret never going with her. Ask yourself various questions it may lead to the answer your looking for. Honestly, you already know what you want, it seems that your heart is just afraid that any decision you make has its risks & pain.

Just make sure, when you decide, prepare for the worst, but hope for the best.
 

Reflection

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Spoken like somebody who's never had to live with a stranger. Way to completely ignore the real issue at hand.

haha ok

there's nothing more supportive than instilling doubt in people about the ones they love, for sure. pardon me!

honestly after 3 years and all the work financially and logistically that's been put into it, it is so hard for me to believe she'd just be messing with him.
 

Solar

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As much of a romantic I am, I'll have to go with Sam. We have to remember this is real-life and a real person asking for genuine advice within a very real issue. Unless he's making it up but w/e

You are seriously thinking of living and exchanging info with someone who you don't know? One with a shady past? Yikes.

But you have talked to her for three years, so do you think you know her to a good amount? Three years is a substantial amount of time to keep in contact with an alleged stranger. If I may ask, how did you meet her?
 

Counter Shock

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Sam, I've known her for 3 years.. I know she can change and is trying. I wouldnt expect a friend of 3 years to screw me over and me end up with indentity theft... It's still a risk non-the-less. And I do feel I love her. We've tried seeing other people, but we just end back up at square one. when i'm with someone else she's all I can think about. This will obviously be the biggest decision I've made, and it's a back and forth battle between my heart and my brain. Giving her this info I risk everything.. but I love her.. see how I'm f*cked here?
 

Decrith

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Can you explain how you met & how you two end up in opposite ends of a country.
 

Counter Shock

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Yes I've talked to her about it. I've told her how I'm giving her all my info, and my trust, and that if I dont have her and she plays me then i'm screwed either way. she replied "you've got me <3" and that I can trust her.. kind of corny, lol, but thats how it went
 
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