Help/Support ► This couldn't get anymore f'd up...

[_EX]

sometimes people confuse love with infatuation

I have a feeling it gets worse when you have never met. Infatuation has the constant desire and to see them.
It wouldnt suprise me if the line between love and infatuation gets so blurred, because you cannot see each other, that it becomes something weird. It probably has become more of a familiarity thing. You might not love her, you just have the desire to talk to her because it is familiar to you and you know her well.

You may be thinking that knowing her and always wanting to talk to her means you love her but it is more complicated than that.

 

[Xorne]

Even if this girl didn't have a horrible reputation, even if we knew for a fact that she wasn't manipulating him, even if they are in love and this guy isn't just following his dick and his imagination halfway across the country, even if those were all non-issues, HE'S STILL TALKING ABOUT MOVING IN WITH A GIRL THAT HE'S NEVER EVEN MET FACE TO FACE. Being in love with somebody and being able to remain sane while sharing a living space with them are two entirely different things, and they often don't rhyme well with one another. I could sit here all day listing off people that I absolutely cherish, and whom I would also never want to live with for any reason whatsoever. You know how I can make that judgment? Because I've actually met them.

I could not agree more with this if I tried. There are some people you could adore like crazy, and even romantically love, but when it comes to sharing a living space with them you both want to kill each other. I had one roommate who was so awful when we started to live together that we ended our friendship entirely. And staying at an ex's and having him stay with me? Disaster!

But on the same note... It's also a good test of a relationship. If you love each other and could live together - that's awesome. However... Moving across the country with no job while saying you have the Marines to worry about? Eh, not a great idea but I suppose it could be worse.

And giving so much information I think is a mistake. I've known some people for over 15 years and I wouldn't even trust them with my password to Facebook, let alone personal information that could get me into real trouble!

 

[Ip Man]

Just get laid with someone locally, dude.


There is nothing I can say that hasn't been said before. You've already made your choice, so I dont understand if you made this topic to get people to support your decision of if it's your subconscious asking for KHI to slap some sense into you.

What's funny is the title of the topic: "This couldnt get more fucked up". You're right, this is a pretty fuckin stupid decision.

 

[Ophan]

I don't believe you.
Simply put.

If you're 6 months from joining the marines, you don't even have the option of moving, you're on call by your CO to report in for training and testing every month from the time you go through MEPS up until you're shipped to bootcamp. So maybe you're not lying about the girl, but it seems unlikely that you'd be this undecided about something like this.



However, as someone who married a girl he'd met online, I'd say I've got a little experience. Sure, she lived about 6 hours away, so I saw her once in a while, however, the facts are these.

I've been happily married for two years, have a child, and still have time to work towards my future. It isn't impossible, but admittedly not very likely.

you can move, they just have to set you up via info from your previous recruiter, but it has to be an agreed and acceptable transition.

 

[Counter Shock]

You ask why I made this topic and its because I honestly appreciate the advice. And.. I agree with the majority of you.. I think I'm an unbelievable dumbass for the choice i'm about to make, but it is one I feel I have to make. I can't go through basic wondering what-if. That would hurt worse then going there, and getting screwed over tbh. It's a lesson I have to learn. I talked to my recruiter about x-fer and he says he can do it. however I WONT be leaving unless I have a job or a few interviews set up before I leave.

At this point I'm not even sure if it's "love," rather some glint that somebody actually accepts you and you desperately don't want to lose it, and you're confusing it with "love."

No, not the case. I've never had a problem finding girls where I live. Over the last few years I've dated several, for a few months at a time. never felt right, always ended the same. Remember I said I've never been in love before. this is the closest I've come to feeling that.

I just cant let that slip away...

So thank you guys for the responces, believe it or not I've honestly took them into consideration. but before basic I have to do this..

 

[Ulti]

I've always wondered what if I turned into the next lane on a freeway without signaling, but I'm not retarded. You must hate your life that you want this to be a "lesson you must learn".

 

[Counter Shock]

You must hate your life that you want this to be a "lesson you must learn".

I'm not exactly happy. My family? Basically dont have one. I've lived in a broken home all my life. was beatin by my dad growing up, my moms a psycho depressed lunatic, I work at a miserable dead end job for 50 hrs a week which makes having a life hard but I manage it seeing as how I cant stand being home. I go to partys and hang out with friends and all that but I'm never happy doing any of it.. I need a change. I need to not be here anymore tbh.

 

[Taylor]

So if your mind is made up, is this thread finally over?

Hammer the last nail, kiddo.

 

[mz. eggsy]

No, not the case. I've never had a problem finding girls where I live. Over the last few years I've dated several, for a few months at a time. never felt right, always ended the same. Remember I said I've never been in love before. this is the closest I've come to feeling that.

I just cant let that slip away...

I see, then I will edit: you desperately don't want to lose what you perceive to be "the right one," but even then "love" isn't "the right one," do you see what I'm saying? "Love" isn't just a feeling, and I don't think you understand the other, more important half. (like Sam said)

edit: also you bugged @ you're old man!!

There is some nobility in giving up for someone you care about, but at the same time, moving (especially that length) is a major personal life decision. Have you ever even moved somewhere by yourself before? It's insanely expensive, exhausting, and time-consuming; so thinking "oh, I'll just move back if it doesn't work out" is a very uneducated thought.

My point of view is biased, and I don't know of your relationship or if there have been breakthroughs or what, but it sounds to me that you don't have a proper handle on it either.

 

[platinumrug]

A big fat hell no to your question bro... do not do this. If she has a shady past, shes probably still a snake in the grass. I wouldn't trust her bro.

 

[scubasteve]

gotta agree with this cdude bro^^

brooooo

 

[Bukkake Sensei]

I agree with the majority of you.. I think I'm an unbelievable dumbass for the choice i'm about to make, but it is one I feel I have to make. I can't go through basic wondering what-if. That would hurt worse then going there, and getting screwed over tbh. It's a lesson I have to learn.

Stop it. Just stop it. SHUT UP. NO MORE.

 

[Decrith]

Dude since you've chosen your path, I wish you the best of luck in it. I hope it doesn't turn out as we fear it might be.

 

[Reflection]

aw, i'm glad they didn't get you down ;w; the best memories in life are always made by following your heart, not being a slave to your head *U* right?

now get set and GET SOME <3

 

[Bukkake Sensei]

the best memories in life are always made by following your heart, not being a slave to your head

It bothers me that you and I are members of the same species.

 

[Taylor]

Alright, I'm closing this. He's made his choice and any attempts to sway him otherwise will only be semantic and cause unnecessary conflict.