To paraphrase something that I heard once and really enjoyed: 'There's a certain thrill to being in love with someone who, on any given day, might be smarter than you.'
This is huge.
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In terms of appearance, I have no definite ideal. I think I tend to gravitate toward guys who are shorter and girls who are taller. Trailing that thought, I suppose I like guys who are usually considered "cute" and girls who are considered "hot". Generally, I also like short hair and darker hair colors for either gender, although I do have an off-and-on thing for blonde guys. I don't really care about eye color, but I love people whose eyes are interesting- I don't really know how to explain it, but some people are just born with magical eyes. Probably the only thing I'm anal about is smoothness; although I guess I really just don't like facial hair and chest/back hair. I prefer relatively skinny body types, but I like a girl with hips and a guy with some (not a lot of) muscles.
I also look to guys and girls for different reasons, and this reflects what I search for in each individually. In guys, I usually want someone I can laze around with. I like boys who let me lay my head in their lap and talk to them about horoscopes and books and my feelings and their feelings and (most of all) us. I like a guy who's on auto-pilot with me, but can also take control when things get really hard (they do that a lot in my life). With girls, this is also true, but to a lesser extent; when it comes to the female, I generally want someone I can have a fantastic, fun time with. I prefer someone who's as wacky and childish as I am; someone who will have random costume parties and who will run around downtown with a painted face while we blast loud, annoying music from a stereo and bother pretty much anyone who is unfortunate enough to be around us. Again, this is true for guys as well, but the emphasis is in different character aspects for each gender.
But, honestly, personality is where I become a monster. I like people I can't read: feeling like I don't know someone well enough is what motivates me to deepen my connections with them. So a lot of the things I look for in a person are direct contradications of one another. For instance, I really like someone who's spontaneous but analytical, someone who can think clearly about everything they do and yet still work on impulse. Similarly, I like someone who's laid-back but excitable. Also, physicality is huge for me: I am huggy and clingy and everything in between and I have to have someone who can be velcro for me. At the same time, the person I'm with should be able to tell me where their boundaries are AND enforce them without ending up wanting to murder me in my sleep. I love nothing more than to mess with the people I care about and it's gotten me into some pretty messy situations. I also like being messed with, to an extent. I'm very particular about humor; I like random but intelligent conversation that can lead anywhere and yet still seem purposeful on some level. This applies to serious and non-serious discussions alike. For both genders, I generally like someone who is assertive, but for girls it's more of a prerequisite than for guys. I also HATE (!!!!!!!!!!) the concept of chivalry, and someone who expects me to open a door for them just because they have a vagina stands as the biggest turn-off I can think of. However, politeness and respect are whole different animals. Let me make the distinction clear. It is common courtesy to open the door for someone (stranger or friend, male or female) when you reach it first. It is unfair gender stereotyping when two people reach the door before you and expect you to open it for them because they're women and you're a boy. Back on track, though, the last significant personality trait I can think of in my ideal partner is that they're comfortable with themselves, with me, and with us. I like someone who is secure enough in our relationship to check out hot guys/girls with me (and to not freak out when I check out hot guys/girls with them). I really, really like someone who is not afraid to be sexy and speak their mind
even if they know I will disagree with them, although it isn't necessarily a big deal if they're a bit more shy in front of others. I want someone who would be willing to break the law with me (not an empty commitment). Also, I'm powerfully weird, so for my own safety I have to make sure whoever I'm with actually accepts me and loves me for who I am and isn't just trying to manipulate my insanity to serve some ulterior motive.
So, yeah. I guess some of this is ideal, but a lot of it is honestly what I look for in a person. For me, reality and fantasy just aren't that far apart. Plus, really, I'm fairly easy to please: I've actually met someone who meets a select few qualities I highlighted here and I'm madly, unhealthily in love with them (which is the only kind of love I know). So it's not like a grocery list; some things I stated are just plain more important to me than others.
Oh, and I suppose as a tag-a-long (this isn't part of my ideal, per se), I'm usually the one who gets irrationally upset about break-ups, so it's nice if whoever I was with is able to handle it more or less objectively and insist that we still be friends even though for several months I'll be spouting bullshit about how that would never work.
Wow. I feel like I just filled out the "What I'm Looking For" section on some dating site. That was a massive waste of time.
Shuri/Eli
