Help/Support ► Drama, Drama, Drama.

[Kiba]

Ok. So I need advice but first:

Backstory: There was this girl who I got really close to during the last weeks of my senior year. We became bf/gf during summer. We got really close and it was pretty serious (or so I thought). This all happened really quickly (about 3 months.) Then college started and she moved away to go to college. We tried to make it work. (Long distance relationships suck!) and it didn't so we broke up. We said we'd be best friends forever but everyone knows that's really impossible. We stopped talking a couple days after the break up. (Haven't talked to her since but she sent me a "Merry Christmas" text the other day. ((I didn't respond))

Ok so heres the dilemma though. Her friends are also my friends and we're all pretty much best friends. Well now I don't talk to her and I guess she told one of the friends (that is also my friend but has known my ex longer) that we weren't talking and that she was upset that we weren't. Now that friend is upset with me because I'm not talking to my Ex and it's making my ex sad. (Like I give a fuck.)

Me and this friend (who is now upset with me.) are like pretty good friends. I don't wanna lose a friendship over a stupid ex. So what's you guys' and girls' thoughts? Comments?

What should I do?

(Exes are a pain in the ass.)

 

[Vicodin]

My thoughts? You're being a fucking prick for not talking to your ex at least a small amount.

 

[Kiba]

How am I the prick?

Oh I forgot to mention that she was the first one to stop talking to me. She even deleted me from her friends list on facebook.

 

[Shadow Soldier]

Ok, bullshit your way out of this one.

"I haven't spoken to her because she was a big part of my life. I just need time to get over our breakup."

 

[De_ChiCk]

just tell your friend that thats your guys bizz and that not to worry.... and a txt means nothing... justs go on wit life:wink:

 

[Bukkake Sensei]

I just don't understand the sudden shift in attitude. One minute you want to be best friends forever and the next you don't care about her enough to respond to an innocent, friendly text message, and you even go as far as to say that you don't care if your actions hurt her -- with little to no transition between the two.

No party is without blame. Your friend has no business infringing on the natural break up process of two other people, and if I were you I would call them out on it. But until this polar shift in your disposition is explained, I think Happy Holocaust is absolutely right. You're a fucking asshole.

 

[Stavvy]

So your saying "Let's be friend forever" was empty and meaningless? You could just man up and be friends with your ex, that way your other friend would no longer be annoyed with you (I would be too, to be honest), your ex wouldn't be sad (human kindness, yes?), and hey, you'd live up to your promise. I don't see a downfall.

 

[Nyangoro]

Yeah, it's pretty much your fault at this point. I guarantee that all it would have taken to get on a (somewhat) friendly level would have been to take that extra five seconds out of your day to say "Merry Christmas" back to her. She may have been the first to stop talking, but you severed it when you didn't respond to her effort (whether it was belated or not).

 

[Dogenzaka]

Unless your ex did something like cheat on you or try to kill you, which you have yet to disclose, I don't understand why you suddenly thought "we've broken up, this means we can't talk anymore or it'll be awkward". Try to not be a total stuck up jerk and try talking to her like you would a normal human being? :>

 

[king_mickey rule]

Sorry to say this but ... Wha? You really should talk again to her, why say "let's still be best friends forever" when you stop talking to her? Really, she even sended you "Merry christmas" and didn't send anything back :s

My advice to you, start talking to her again, and if she sends you something, answer because then you're just being an jerk because if she sends something to you that means she wants to talk to you n.n

 

[Kiba]

Well you know how it is after a break up... Everyone says they'll try to be friends. Plus she broke up with me! Anyways. My friend i found out my friend was upset cause she doesn't know the entire story. She only knows my ex's side so were gonna meet up and talk about my side.

 

[evil_levi94]

Like everyone else has said, why did you say you would be her best friend and then not live up to it? I understand if after a break-up you think things are going to be awkward or maybe she'll act unkindly towards you or maybe even say things about you, but I don't think that's the case here. She seems to want you to be on good terms. I mean, she went out of her way (even if it took 5 seconds) and sent you a reminder that she still exists and wants some of your attention and has been thinking about you. Ignoring her is not going to help the matter. Try apologizing and hope that she will be on good terms with you again.

And about the "Side of the story" thing ... Why? Don't try to make her sound like the enemy, even if she did do that to you. It will most likely get back to her. I mean, if you're just trying to tell your side innocently, it just seems like you're trying to start an argument. Just explain to your friend how you were feeling about the break-up and why you weren't talking to her, but show that you do care (you must because you're going off about it =P), but mostly tell them that they should NOT meddle in people's relationships, datng or breaking-up, it does not help and will get them stuck in between the situation.

Okay, so... I hope my advice is okay. xPP

 

[Kiba]

^^ Thanks guys. I'll consider everyones advice!

 

[Stavvy]

Well you know how it is after a break up... Everyone says they'll try to be friends. Plus she broke up with me! Anyways. My friend i found out my friend was upset cause she doesn't know the entire story. She only knows my ex's side so were gonna meet up and talk about my side.

So you're going to try to turn her against your ex? Another assholish move, in my opinion.

And I may not talk to an ex for a week, but that's fairly normal, you have to have a little bit of time to adjust back into being friends, but not six months.

 

[Horizon's Knight]

Um, you seem to have some irony in your statement. Try resonding if someone wants to be friends again. Of course it's normal to stop talking for a weak, but to become mortal enemies with someone just because you stoped dating for collage reasons? That isn't a passible reason. No wonder your friend is so mad at you. You treated another human being badly when you said that you'd try to be friends. yourself. I don't care if your ex started all of this, because you just stooped to her level. You should treat others the way you want to be treated, otherwise you deserve to be treated badly.

^That is my advice bro.

 

[Kiba]

No. I'm not turning her against her. SHE wants to hear my side. >.>

Everything was fine till she got involved... v.v

 

[Tyrant Raver]

If you don't give a damn. Then why bother with that other girl? If you don't want to lose the friend you mentioned earlier (which I doubt) then lie your way out of it.