Fanfiction ► Things KH Characters Would Never Say!!!! REBORN!!!

[(~Perfection_Achieved~)]

Eh, I've made and heard plenty of "play with my keyblade" jokes on this thread.

 

[Tre'Coolfreak13]

*Gags* Oh, god!!! X_X I declare we should not do anything else perverted like this! I will no longer make any gay/sex jokes! Just good ol' comedy. There will be some groin hits here and there, but that's okay.

 

[Spectre]

lol, these are freaking hilarious. i would make one, but standards wont let me

 

[yado]

I got one

As Sora is about to take on World of chaos( or the really big Ansem) He hears Knocking and looks over at the door to the light to see a guy walking away. So Sora went over to the door and opened it up to see Kirai, Riku, King Mickey, Donald, and Goofy playing cards and eating Pizza.
what the heck are you guys doing. Sora shouts.
Waiting for you to finsh the fights duh. Riku said and looked at his cards. Hey Donald got any 5s.
Donald looks at his hand to see nothing but 5s. Go fish.
Liar you have all 5s. Kirai shouted.
Do not. He said back. Kirai then slaps him and he falls down unconcius.
Hello do you even relize that im talking to you. Sora shouts as ansem rushes in in his normal form.
Alright Go fish. He shouted and took Donalds chair.
What the Ansem why arent you really big. Sora shouts.
Because my contract states that "if cards and Pizza are in sight i can be in normal form. Ansem replies.
Thats it im outta here. Sora says and on the way out throws the keyblade behind him and hits donald just as he was getting up.
You know i never liked him anyways. Kirai said.
Ya. They all said and started playing more cards as donald laided unconcis.

 

[(~Perfection_Achieved~)]

THat was great!! pure genius.

 

[Sora is Barbie]

Goofy: Your battle strategies are incoherent and primative. Obviously, you do not know how to wield heavy and firm weapons yet. Even though you still ARE the Keyblade Master, I must digress the fact that you are an absolute nitwit with the brain capacity of a peanut.

Sora: Trust me Goofy, these shoes are WAAAAYYY to big to be up your ass. So f*** off.

Marluxia: I've got pink hair, im punk. Oh yea. Rock on.

Riku: Parachute pants and bieng confused about good and evil rocks my socks. ~_^

Cloud: I look like I have a Zapdos on my head. >_<

Kairi: *gasp* expose my breasts for a T-Shirt? Like, omfg, FUR SURE!!!!! *flashes all residents of Twilight Town.....and wins free shirt*

Hercules(in a VERY preppy voice): Ok, like, poeple, you need to like, put a sock in it, ok? Like, omg, JUST because I have amazing pecs, have bleached hair, wear skirts, and shop at Abercrombe Greece DOESN'T make me gay! Like, omg you poeple are ASSES man, like, omfg.

Alice: I'm going to totally RAPE Rupert Grint. ~_^

 

[Sora is n1]

Sorao these shorts make my butt look big?
Kairi: yeah...

 

[Tre'Coolfreak13]

Sora has just learned how to do Strike Raid.
Sora-I wonder how this Ability works? *Throw's Keyblade*
The Keyblade flies around the room, knocking down items and such, then flies back at Sora, hitting him in the groin.
Sora- Son of a bitch!!!
Donald-You okay, Sora?
Goofy-Ahyuck, cup check.
Riku walks in.
Riku->.> <.< Hehehe...*Steals Keyblade*

 

[yado]

Sora has just found Riku and s about to submit to darness.

Im not afraid of the darkness. Riku shouts when he is tackled by the poser mobile guy.
Yo yo shorty you gotta be afraid of the darkness. The poser says.
No i dont. Riku says.
Ya or else you gotta pay a quater per day. Poser 1 says.
And a dollar for weeks. Poser 3 says.
You know what darkness devour me. Riku shouts and him and the posers disappear when Kirai walks up with the script in his hands.
Hey Sora did you notice we never kiss in the script. She says.
NO! he shouts and faints.
This is an outrage. The keyblade shouts appearing out of nowhere.
You talk? Kirai asks.
Of course not but hes knocked out so you are the keyblade master and we have toke up alot of time so lets skip to where you wake up in traverse town. Bing. It says and wakes up in Traverse town.
OK werid but ok. (i might continue it)

 

[Sora Kun]

Goofy: Sora, you look horrible in that Halloween Costume. *Looks at his own Costume* Gah!
Sora: Don't get your hopes up Goofy, you don't look so Shabby either.
Donald: Guys, just sit down and watch the damn movie!
Sora: Got it, hey Donald.. Since when did you have a Zombie Costume..
Donald: Uhm.. Case closed. *Shoves popcorn in his mouth*

 

[yado]

Cntinueing.

She walks into the acessory shop.
Hello how may I... O its just a kid. Cid says.
Im not a kid. Kirai shouts and hits him on the head. My names kirai. She says and the story continues normally and when she walks out she sees Leon and when hes says lets see that Keyblade and that fight starts she loses and when they are done explaing about the keybalde Kirai talks to yuffie.
So you are a ninja. Kirai asks.
Yep. Yuffie responds.
hey you know take me to your house because it looks ike you have some style. Kirai says.
OK. Yuffie says and goes next door when Riku burst in runs throght room and launches himself out the window.
Yo shorty wait up. Poser 1 says and they jump after them when a girl walks in.
In the time it takes to see posers jump out the window you can save a bunch of money on your car ensurence by switching to Geico. She says and walks out while Leon s stll standing there and then puts headphones on andd rocks out to numa numa dance.

 

[PiPee]

LOL all these are funny

Sora's sliding down the tree trunks with Tarzan, collecting all the fruit.
S - Yee hah!
A branch comes out of nowhere, catching onto Sora's shorts. They come off, revealing a pink thong.
*sora blushes*
T - nice arse

 

[yado]

When they finally come out Kirai just leaves and goes to the third district to find Donald, Goofy, and Gaurd Armor playing card.

What are you doing. She shouts
We are playing card hu huck. Goofy says.
O right this is a fight scene crew get rid of the table. Donald shouts and the Gaurd Amor stands up and begins to walk away but Kiari walks up and secretly opens his armor and cast fire.
Whats that smoke. Gaurd armor says and sees his foot on fire and run into the second district where Leon is and they see him fly through the door all burnt.
What happen to you. Donald says.
Gaurd Armor used me to put his foot fire out. Leon says and just as Donald was about to say it was Kirais fault Riku runs in and burst through a window followed by an angry mob and the posers. When they all got there the window Kirai looked in to see the Oprah Winphery talk show and heard her say.
Next we will learn the story of a boy whos been chased by posers and an angry mob.(thats it for now)

 

[Battlecry]

i'm listening to Numanuma right now 'numanuma ay, numaunmua ay, numanuma numa ay'
okay, i got one but it's a blooper
Sora and Riku are at C.Hook's ship

S: Riku, your on the wrong side!
R: No, Sora, im not afraid now.... i have conrol of the FARTLESS!
S:-.-
R: *POOT* ahhhhh.......
S:x_x
R: Sora???Sora??SORA??? ohh well, Ansem?
A: Yes?
R:We go another one down.
A: Same thing as Kiari?
R: Yeah
A:So, what do you want me to do?
Rut him in the cabin.
A: what makes you think that I'LL do it?
R: I just ate a can of beans.
A: OKAY!!!!

 

[Tre'Coolfreak13]

Haha, Fartless...That's funny.
Leon-That's why the Fartless are chasing you, they want your farts...XD!!!

 

[yado]

OK they leave and are on to wonderlandThey walk up to the door in the rabbithole and Kirai opens thedoor to find another.
What! she says and opens it up to find another. How many doors are there? She asks.
I dont care this is anoying FIRE. Donald shouts and sets the door on fire. BURN. he shouts and Kirai pushes hm in and Kirai and Goofy go on.
O hi. the white rabbit says. I would have ran through the door but i drank some potion but it had a nice taste so i drank the whole bottole to find out its beer hic up. He says
Hey you stole my beer. A hobo shouts and smacks the rabbit into the wall.
... Kirai stares blankly at him.
Why dont you come with us we can go to other worlds on our vessle. Goofy says.
Why not. The hobo says and replaces Donald in there party.

 

[KeybladeMaster91]

This is a bit short and boring i know but i was laughing for quite a bit when i heard it.

Kairi is going through a tough stage in her life and is in tears in Soras arms.
Sora: This is difficult I'm sure but you just have to keep goin on.
Kairi: But its just....its so hard...
Sora: Well...you are pretty and pressing up against me...
Kairi: WHAT?
Sora: errrr...nothin....

Rate it for me please!

 

[Cloud_Unchained]

Sora: Donald! We must fuse!
Donald: No! Last time I could take a dump right for a week!

If you saw Bad Santa, you would understand.

 

[Zearth]

Ansem: Im straight

Kairi: Donald, lets take the raft and go!! Just the two of us!

Riku: Gotta catch em all!!!! Pokemon!!

Cloud: Sephiroth, lets take the raft and go! Just the two of us (lol srry couldn't resist)

Cid: *holding bag full of powder* Gummi blocks aren't the only things i sell Sora...

 

[yado]

moveing on they enter the queens castle and see that alice is gone and ansem is there instead.
How dare you say im fat. the queen shouts.
You are. Ansem says.
At least im not a guy that looks like a girl and is gay. The queen shouts.
Hold it right there. Kirai shouts and runs in. Ansem is not soppose to be on trail Alice is.
I think alice was already taken. Ansem says
ah forget it lets go. they leave and go to the door in the bazare room.
Open your mouth. Kirai shouts and kicks the door. it shouts they lock it and leave.