Fanfiction ► Things KH Characters Would Never Say!!!! REBORN!!!

[Cloud_Unchained]

Well it's back, the other one is messed up.

Sora: Goofy! Go fetch the paper!

Donald: I wonder what I taste like in orange sauce!

I'm in a slump..

 

[(~Perfection_Achieved~)]

Riku: ahhh!!!! I'll kill you Sora!!!
Sora: dude. it was one race. get over yourself.
Riku: you just wait until I get a keyblade...
Sora: uh yeah, right... like, that would just be a repeat of Hollow Bastion.
Riku: just you wait sora.... just you wait...

 

[(~Perfection_Achieved~)]

OK listen to this:
*Sora and Kairi are hanging out in Sora's room, the door is closed and Sora's mom walks buy.*
Kairi's voice: Wow sora!! you never said it got this big!
Sora's voice: Heh, you never asked!
K's voice: it's soooo long and hard!
S's voice: well that's the best way to use it!
*S's mom puts her ear to the door*
K's voice: can I touch it?
S's voice: sure, but not too rough or stuff will shoot out.
K's voice: really!! that's cool can I, pleeeeease!!
S's voice: ok sure.
*S's mom hears somthing hit the ceiling*
K's voice: whoa cool!!! I didn't know it could all do that!!
S's voice: wait, let me show you something.
K's voice: what?
S's voice: Riku showed me this, let me just stick it in you.
*at that moment Sora's mom busts in*
Sora's mom: STOP IT THIS INSTANT, GET AWAY FROM MY SON YOU HUSSY!!!
*as she look's at Sora and Kairi, we see that Sora is showing off his Keyblade to Kairi. There is a burn mark on the ceiling. And Sora has the Heart Unlocker equiped*
Sora: u-um sorry about the b-burn mark mom.
Sora's mom: Oh, that's Ok. um carry on.
S: well that was weird.
K: yeah it was.
S: so you wanna have sex?
K: sure.

 

[(~Perfection_Achieved~)]

Another Sora's mom story:
*so Sora's on the phone talking, and his mom walks by (door is closed)*
Sora: so what do you think about Riku?
Voice:*mumbles*
Sora: yeah, definetly hot!
*Sora's mom gasps and listens more closly*
Voice:*mumbles*
Sora: Oh yeah, I wouldn't mind a piece of that a$$!!
*S's mom gasps some more*
Sora: Damn, talk about fine!! I'd ride that any day!! and that weapon, I thought my keyblade was cool.
*Sora's mom busts in*
S's mom: YOU ARE NEVER TO SEE RIKU AGAIN!!! YOU HEAR ME!!! NOW I'M CALLING KAIRI, AND SHE GONNA' SPEND THE NIGHT IN YOUR ROOM!!! DO WHATEVER YOU WANT I DON'T CARE, BUT NO RIKU!!!
Sora: ok mom, he wasn't that cool anyway
S's Mom: good. now i'll call Kairi.
Sora: ok mom.
*S's mom leaves the room*
Sora: Wow!! that was a great plan Rikku!!
Rikku's voice: yeah it was, so you have your way with Kairi. Me and The One He Fears are gonna hop-on-the-good-foot and do the bad thing.
Sora: Ok, cool!! I keep Cloud_Unchained busy.
Rikku's voice: oh, thanks! see you tomorrow Keyblade man.
Sora: yeah, peace.

 

[Cloud_Unchained]

OK listen to this:
*Sora and Kairi are hanging out in Sora's room, the door is closed and Sora's mom walks buy.*
Kairi's voice: Wow sora!! you never said it got this big!
Sora's voice: Heh, you never asked!
K's voice: it's soooo long and hard!
S's voice: well that's the best way to use it!
*S's mom puts her ear to the door*
K's voice: can I touch it?
S's voice: sure, but not too rough or stuff will shoot out.
K's voice: really!! that's cool can I, pleeeeease!!
S's voice: ok sure.
*S's mom hears somthing hit the ceiling*
K's voice: whoa cool!!! I didn't know it could all do that!!
S's voice: wait, let me show you something.
K's voice: what?
S's voice: Riku showed me this, let me just stick it in you.
*at that moment Sora's mom busts in*
Sora's mom: STOP IT THIS INSTANT, GET AWAY FROM MY SON YOU HUSSY!!!
*as she look's at Sora and Kairi, we see that Sora is showing off his Keyblade to Kairi. There is a burn mark on the ceiling. And Sora has the Heart Unlocker equiped*
Sora: u-um sorry about the b-burn mark mom.
Sora's mom: Oh, that's Ok. um carry on.
S: well that was weird.
K: yeah it was.
S: so you wanna have sex?
K: sure.

Was this one yours? I read this in the other thread, I don't remember.

THE LAST ONE WAS NOT FUNNY.

NO.

 

[(~Perfection_Achieved~)]

Yeah that one was mine. And you know that the Riku/Rikku one was funny.

And by the way, I wrote that before we had our war.

 

[8myworldsmyown8]

this is so kewl. can i post one?

 

[(~Perfection_Achieved~)]

Yeah, why not?

 

[jk4eva]

Oh yay it's back.....

Sora: That's right baby, I got a keyblade. You want me to unlock your hole?
Riku: Ok, sure.
Sora: Nasty!! I was joking....

Sora: Kairi, there's one more hole I forgot to lock. Yours.
Kairi: *slaps Sora* Pervert....
Sora: What? What did I say?? Owwwiee......

 

[8myworldsmyown8]

Sora: She’s mine!
Riku: No, she’s mine!
Sora: Mine!
Riku: Mine!
Sora: Mine!
Kairi: Hey guys what are you talking about?
Sora and Riku: Uhhhh nothing.

 

[Cloud_Unchained]

Kairi: It's stupid how those two fight over me... I'm lesbian!

 

[(~Perfection_Achieved~)]

Continuing Cloud_Unchained's post...

Kairi: So uh, Aerith. You wanna go in back..
Aerith: Um sorry Kai, I don't swing that way.
Kairi: awww. Hey Rikku! wanna "experiment"?
Rikku: I don't think we should....
Kairi: Aren't you curious? Come on, I'm sure I could rock your world...
Rikku: Well.... Maybe just this once!
Kairi: cool! I'll go get my toys!
Rikku: Toys......?

 

[Cloud_Unchained]

*Cloud_Unchained has massive blood loss due to nose bleed reading last post*

*If you do not understand statement above, it's an anime thing*

*If you do not wish to ask, it means I was thinking dirty thoughts*

*Cloud_Unchained wants to apologize for thinking dirty thoughts*

 

[(~Perfection_Achieved~)]

It's OK. I did the same thing after writing it.
heh heh heh...

 

[Umiray]

Wow. You two are naughty. Someone need a spanking...j/k lol
Um... okay!
Ansem: Riku, I am your father!
Riku: yeah. You've said that already. WAIT! Kairi's your daughter right?
Ansem: Yeah.... So?
Riku: But we... And I.... And that one night... I was drunk, I swear!! Oh God. I think I'm gonna be sick...

 

[R K O]

*If you do not understand statement above, it's an anime thing*

*If you do not wish to ask, it means I was thinking dirty thoughts*

*Cloud_Unchained wants to apologize for thinking dirty thoughts*

.....We didn't need to know that......I'm surprised you even knew......I don't even want to know what you have hidden in your PC......

Larxene: OMG! Look at this sl**
Rikku: You call me a sl**? You wh***!
Larxene: B****!
Rikku: -Insert Nasty Comment-
Larxene: -Insert Nastier Comment-
Rikku: -Insert attack-
Larxene: -Insert attack-
Rikku + Larxene: *Starts b****slapping eachother*
Rikku + Larxene: *pulls eachothers' hair*

 

[Umiray]

And the winner.... Rikku!

 

[R K O]

And the winner.... Rikku!

In your dreams. <<

There is no winner cause I haven't put it up yet. And no, this is my idea. NO ONE can finish it.

 

[Umiray]

Oh yeah, you're a Larxene fan. Well I said Rikku to apease my love, who loves Rikku.

"So how about a tie." said the disheveled Larxene. "F-fine."
*As Rikku walks away Larxene laughs; and a satchel charge can be seen on Rikku's back*

 

[Neo_Heartless]

Sora on Phone with Riku



Sora: Hey,wanna come over my house for breakfast?
Riku: As long as you have a rusty hole donut waiting for me.
Sora: Whats that supposed to mean?
Riku: you know......Ilove when the batter gets all over my face!
Sora: Dude, thats kinda sick,and I think we shouldnt hang out anymore.
Riku: Ok, but call me if your up for some Real fun.
Sora: Dude..........Whatever.......(CLick)

Would like to add I do not think Riku is gay, this is just funny, and the cool points to whoever knows where the donut references come from!