Rejection doesn't sound like fun times

[Dogenzaka]

There's only one true girl I've liked over the years that I haven't told I liked. I'm afraid it's too late now, I'm probably in her friend zone. I've watched her date another guy, break up, and throughout I just noticed that she's the only person with all the qualities I could ever find myself being with, so far in life. We're also probably going to the same college, and studying the same major.

Other than that, I suffer from the opposite. Girls my age or younger like me because I'm funny, and then I can't shake them off. You get the obsessive text messages and it's just bothersome.

I never like people that like me, and I only end up liking people that don't like me back.
In which case, I wonder what would ever happen if the girl I like told me she liked me.

The way I usually deal with romantic problems or pains however, is I ignore them and move on.
I realize that, most likely anyone that I have romantic issues with at my age, will most likely not even be there 10 years from now. So it won't matter.

 

[Laz]

You speak nothing but truths, friend.



*ahem* Your post is the fourth one after mine? For shame.



1. You do realize that the shower thing was half-joking, right?

Yes, i do.

2. Though I don't want to use the word "love", it's indeed very possible to feel strongly about someone.


Don't misunderstand the topic though, guys. It's not that I need help to deal with rejection (as I said, that hasn't happened). I just realize that if it does happen in this particular case, it's going to hurt like fuck and I was curious as to how people deal with this specific hurt.

Remember I posted this in Discussion, not Help & Support =/

the only thing you have to do is say "i dont need you" and go on with your life .

Seriously, Phoenix,IF somebody rejects you. Just forget about it, occupy your time with stuff and get the f.cking over it .

I Did not misundertand the topic. I gave you my advice, wich by the way has worked for me a lot of times.

 

[Phoenix]

I Did not misundertand the topic. I gave you my advice, wich by the way has worked for me a lot of times.

And I, of course, am appreciative of it.

EDIT: You realize I didn't direct that comment at you, right?

 

[Vayne Mechanics]

laz is an internet tough guy.

 

[Laz]

laz is an internet tough guy.

I dont see how this post helps the OP, but meh.

 

[Square Ninja]

I drink. And then drink some more.

But I do that anyway.

He took mine.

 

[Wintertide]

well i give them a good fuck you and a swift kick to the balls and just move on.
i ain't letting that stop me.
its nothing to cry and bitch abaout

 

[Leonard]

Well, sort of.

It's funny because in all my years I've only ever really been particularly attached and attracted to two girls romantically, the first one much moreso than the second; the first one happened when I was 14 (I've gotten the impression most boys have their first attraction of the sort at a younger age than that); the second happened more recently and it's a much less passionate, insecurity-generating interest.

My main experience with rejection comes from the first one. She never outright said "no" (and well, I never asked her out or explicitly confirmed I liked her), but that was the impression I got from her and the way her friends and others spoke of the situation. If any of you were there with me as the whole ordeal unfolded I'm inclined to think you'd agree, but I suppose the possibility that I was overly insecure, pessimistic and fearful regarding myself and the outcome (flaws which I could argue I still possess) is something I can't and won't entirely dismiss.

I have to admit it was pretty shit (really, in these kind of situations it can't be much else).

It's like you're my twin brother. :c
One could say I've had pretty much exactly the same experiences. Only more of them.

Even though people like us don't specifically get rejected, I guess we just kind of reach a point where we realize that it's pointless to keep trying. Of course things like those hurt a lot the first time, (even more so when you get a "no" directly at your face i'm sure), but it becomes more bearable over time.

It really seems like trying to accept it is the only method. Some people just don't really fit together, and that's something one should keep in mind.
I don't think it's like you have much of another choice, other than therapy.

Whining won't make it any better, bearing the experience will just make you stronger inside, etc.
/fortune cookie :c

 

[Square Ninja]

It also helps to remind yourself that any member of the opposite sex that rejects outright like that is most likely not worth your time anyway.

Delusion is a solid way to keep your fragile ego intact

 

[Ophan]

It's like you're my twin brother. :c
One could say I've had pretty much exactly the same experiences. Only more of them.

Even though people like us don't specifically get rejected, I guess we just kind of reach a point where we realize that it's pointless to keep trying. Of course things like those hurt a lot the first time, (even more so when you get a "no" directly at your face i'm sure), but it becomes more bearable over time.

It really seems like trying to accept it is the only method. Some people just don't really fit together, and that's something one should keep in mind.
I don't think it's like you have much of another choice, other than therapy.

Whining won't make it any better, bearing the experience will just make you stronger inside, etc.
/fortune cookie :c

I've also had the same experiences. My rejection wasn't a clear one....there wasn't a no, just a long drag of nothingness. She would stare at me in class, and when i'd turn to look, she'd quickly turn her head. When i wrote to her, she would smile.....it was very questionable, so i assumed rejection was the only thing it could be from no communicative, as in writing or speaking response. It seemed more so her family culture held me back, but i don't think i should go into detail on that :/

 

[Leonard]

It also helps to remind yourself that any member of the opposite sex that rejects outright like that is most likely not worth your time anyway.

Delusion is a solid way to keep your fragile ego intact

Asking yourself questions like "would I really have been able to have a long-term relationship with him/her?", "could I really have imagined sharing the rest of my life with that person?" or "would I have felt comfortable around her family and her friends?" would belong into that category as well, I guess.

I used to ask myself these questions a lot, and they helped me from time to time. Made moving on a lot easier for me.

 

[Go:Namine]

o:
i was rejected this one time. got over it. not the end of the world.

thoughh i don't think anyone under the age of 17-18 should get too worked up over getting rejected. i mean, were still young and all.

 

[Miku]

I've never been rejected because I've never confessed to anyone. XD But I've rejected a dude in my class before.

 

[Prajna]

You just learn to get over it and wish that person the best of luck.

 

[Lifes.Lover]

I have never been rejected before in my life, for the simple fact that I was never able to get over my crippling shyness in high school and actually ask the guys I was interested in out. And then, I lost my chance and I graduated and dating now just seems like such a waste of my time. I'll eventually want to get back into the swing of things, and now that I'm more confident in some ways, I'll probably ask and probably be rejected at some point.

With no experience behind my belt, I can only say what I think I would do if I were to be rejected. I would walk away before I started crying, eventually make it home and then trash my room. For some reason, it's very therapeutic to me.

And while I've never been rejected, I have been a rejector. When I was in the 8th grade, one of my best friends decided to tell me his feelings, and while I didn't really think of him that way (you know, the friend zone), I decided that it couldn't hurt to at least try going out with him. It didn't work out, and it was just so awkward. He was my friend, not my boyfriend. So, I eventually gave him the 'I want to just be friends' speech, explaining how I felt about everything.

After that, I never heard from him again. He stopped sitting at my table during lunch, he stopped talking to me or passing me notes (because they were all the 'rage' when I was in middle school). In a way, I suppose it was a rejection, I guess. He did, after all, reject my friendship when it wasn't good enough for him. And that did hurt, because he really had been one of my best friends. So, the whole point of the story is that even when being the rejector, it doesn't necessarily mean that we want to be cruel or that we deliberately want to hurt your feelings.

Everyone has different ways of coping with rejection. Ignoring it, letting go, moving on, 'crying in the shower', trashing a room.