I'm not sure if I can really put myself onto one side of this particular argument. From what my own personal experiences have taught me, girls are fickle and their actions hardly ever coincide with what they claim to want. The 'nice' guys who are only after sex are flawed because they're going after the wrong damn women. There are plenty of whores to choose from. If you're only after getting ass, why go for a girl who's looking for an honest relationship, and then get mad because she's not interested in f.ucking? So yes, those guys are definitely an enigma. Nothing wrong with looking for tail, but I think guys should just be straight up about it. You'll at least find out right away if you have any kinda shot without wasting your time or hers for that matter.
But I must sympathize (more so empathize) with the other variety of wimpy guys who just can't get a break. I've been in love. I was friend-zoned for months, and like a jackass, I put up with it. I never cared about having sex with her. To be honest, I was never even physically attracted to her at all. That was my first indication that it was legit. But here's where it gets a little more f.ucked up. (This is gonna be a long story...)
One day, in December 2010, I was with her in my car, and we were just talking about hypothetical relationships in general. She didn't know of my feelings for her at the time. So I asked her what should a guy should do if he knows that the girl he loves won't think of him as anything other than a friend, and she said that the guy should probably just stop talking to her, and she'll eventually get the hint. She said that a girl's 'close friend' will never mean as much to her as her boyfriend. This seems pretty obvious now, but imagine being her close friend and hearing something like that. So, I took that advice and refrained from talking to her, despite the fact that we were extremely close. She got the hint, pretty quickly. Now, May 2011 rolls around, and she sends me this big message on facebook about how she's sorry and she understands if I need more time but misses me and bla bla bla. By then, I was actually over her to some extent. I mean, I knew this had the potential to open up old wounds, but I was actually okay with the thought of being friends with her. I just had to keep my distance to prevent any risks. This actually worked for a while. Skipping ahead to July/August, she started acting differently around me. She started telling me that she loved me. I knew she didn't mean it romantically (just from the context of the conversation), so I didn't make much of it. But she kept saying it. Keep in mind that I had already gone through my first year of college, and she was about to be a senior in high school. So, the thought of where she was gonna go to college came up in conversation, and she told me how upset she was at the thought of leaving me. I figured she would've felt the same about all her friends, but she even said in particular that it would be harder to leave me. At this point, I didn't know what to think. I was too much on guard as it was, and I was assuming that she was just being emotional and that it's nothing to consider. Well, turns out, once September came, there weren't any more 'I love you' messages and several hour long conversations. We were both busy with a full course load and all. But, she didn't even respond enthusiastically when I tried to talk to her. She was too busy fawning over some other guy. And she always used to tell me that she was too busy to hang out on weekends, but that didn't stop her from going on dates with this guy.
Now, here's my view point. I highly suspect that her summer attitude was a result of her loneliness and need to be close with somebody. I was a decoy, a stand-in for the boyfriend she didn't have. Without any consideration for my past feelings, she toyed with me. And that's not even the worst part, because I had suspected it anyway. But, what I don't understand is how finding a new boyfriend means that she has to replace me, who's only a friend to begin with. This lack of a connection lasted throughout September, so in October, I decided to give her a month to talk to me on her own. I would refrain from contacting her. If she talked to me, I'd put my doubts to rest and continue the friendship. Here we are at the end of April 2012, and I have not talked to her since.
As for why I'm bringing this up here, this is my example of why it's not always just the horny pretenders who lose. Even after I accepted the idea of just being friends, I still had to be continuously teased about the scenario until she finally gave up on me completely. This is why I've given up on relationships, and why the number of my female friends has considerably dwindled. I know it's irrational, and I know it's biased to some extent, but the girls I grew up with are mainly conniving and self-interested. (She's one example, but the ones I knew were all this bad.) I know there are better girls than this in the world, but I don't really care enough to meet one. There's only so many of these situations a person can take for over 8 years and still have any kind of faith in relationships at all.
;;; (Likes anyone who's there for him??)
