Help/Support ► Depression

[Dentim]

Don't really know if there was a thread for this, so anyway.
I've been depressed for a large part of my life. I've mostly learned to live with it but I've got my good periods and my bad ones. The reason I'm typing this is because I've been stuck in a bad one since monday, most of the times it goes away after 24-48 hours, but it has happened before for much longer (weeks). I'm not about to off myself or something, that's not what this is about. I just felt like I needed to let something out. Normally I'd talk to my best friend about this but it's his birthday and I don't want to be a downer and more silly stuff like that.
I've been trying to go to sleep for the last hour so I can go for a run in the morning before work (losing weight and all that) but it's not really happening. Too much... bad things going around in the old 'noggin. I'm not really expecting any help or anything, like I said, I just feel like venting (and kind of hoping that the simple act of getting this off my chest in a place where it can be heard might helpful by itself) but at the same time I'd like to say that if anyone else has similar problems and doesn't know who to talk too, be free to do so here. Sometimes all we need is someone to listen. Obviously, if anyone knows of ways to help (either me or anyone else who needs it), it will always be appreciated.

(Also if there was a thread for this, feel free to merge it)

 

[maryadavies]

I can tell you; if you're just having blue times sometimes, that's okay. Venting can help; also if you got a friend you can cry on their shoulder, do it.

If it starts getting worse though (suicidal thoughts, etc.) get help. Don't hesitate. Get help.

 

[KingdomKey]

I've had moments in my life where I've felt depressed and needed help getting through it by looking to some of my friends and loved ones. But what I can tell you, it does pass after a time where you feel like you're back to normal again. So don't fear it lasting forever.

Furthermore, if you needed to vent, sometimes creating a blog, or investing in a journal can help get it off your chest. Sometimes writing it out helps you get to the bottom of what's eating at you. And definitely finding people who'd listen can go a long way in helping you feel better too. It's admirable you'd keep how you felt to yourself on your friend's birthday, but keep in mind, I'm sure your best friend doesn't mind being there for you any other day of the week too. And you can always vent to someone like myself, if it helps. I don't mind listening. Just don't bottle up your feelings. C: Of course, sometimes running can take your mind off of what's eating at you too. I've known running to help lift spirits and fill you up with positive feelings too.

Otherwise, the important thing is not to dwell on your depression, or you'll let it win and control your life, your motivation, and more. Easier said than done, I know. And I've heard a lot of people go to medicine for help with depression, but unless it's really serious, I'd hold off on it until you really feel like you need it. There's always a therapist too, except I don't know how good of a job they do to help solve the problem.

And like Maryadavies said, it's okay to feel down. There's nothing wrong with that any. Everyone gets like that sometimes.

 

[Alpha Baymax]

If it makes you feel any better, there's psychological and neurological reasons for depressions. So next time a depressive phase happens, always remember, it's not always down to emotional reasons, but rather, biology. Accept your depressive phases with open arms. I've been through phases of depression myself, and honestly, talking it out is the best thing to do. Talk it out until it's out of your system. If you can't speak then write it or type it. Some sort of ventilation is the best means of managing it.

 

[Dreaded_Desire62]

Keeping it bottled up, it'll only make the problems worse. I don't know if you have ever dealt with thoughts of suicide, but they are among the worst.

I've been told by some idiot, "You're depressed? What do you have to be depressed about?" The person clearly didn't understand that I didn't choose to be depressed as Alpha Baymax said there are scientific causes for it.

 

[Dentim]

I can tell you; if you're just having blue times sometimes, that's okay. Venting can help; also if you got a friend you can cry on their shoulder, do it.

If it starts getting worse though (suicidal thoughts, etc.) get help. Don't hesitate. Get help.

I've had moments in my life where I've felt depressed and needed help getting through it by looking to some of my friends and loved ones. But what I can tell you, it does pass after a time where you feel like you're back to normal again. So don't fear it lasting forever.

Furthermore, if you needed to vent, sometimes creating a blog, or investing in a journal can help get it off your chest. Sometimes writing it out helps you get to the bottom of what's eating at you. And definitely finding people who'd listen can go a long way in helping you feel better too. It's admirable you'd keep how you felt to yourself on your friend's birthday, but keep in mind, I'm sure your best friend doesn't mind being there for you any other day of the week too. And you can always vent to someone like myself, if it helps. I don't mind listening. Just don't bottle up your feelings. C: Of course, sometimes running can take your mind off of what's eating at you too. I've known running to help lift spirits and fill you up with positive feelings too.

Otherwise, the important thing is not to dwell on your depression, or you'll let it win and control your life, your motivation, and more. Easier said than done, I know. And I've heard a lot of people go to medicine for help with depression, but unless it's really serious, I'd hold off on it until you really feel like you need it. There's always a therapist too, except I don't know how good of a job they do to help solve the problem.

And like Maryadavies said, it's okay to feel down. There's nothing wrong with that any. Everyone gets like that sometimes.

I know it's ok to feel down, and I do know venting helps. My friend is usually very understanding about it all (he has even looked up stuff on his own after I told him about my issues), I just didn't feel like doing it on his birthday. :3 A blog might be a good idea, but I wouldn't really know how to start it off. Running does help... when I manage to attain my goal I run on a schedule designed to work up my physical condition, but there are times where I don't quite manage (I just repeat it on the next run day until I do)
When it comes to therapists, I found them good at helping me find out what exactly was wrong, but much less so at solving the problems. (also too expensive for my tastes :/ ) Medication is something I'm generally not in favor of, for other reasons (not some sort of hater or anything, just not something for me)

If it makes you feel any better, there's psychological and neurological reasons for depressions. So next time a depressive phase happens, always remember, it's not always down to emotional reasons, but rather, biology. Accept your depressive phases with open arms. I've been through phases of depression myself, and honestly, talking it out is the best thing to do. Talk it out until it's out of your system. If you can't speak then write it or type it. Some sort of ventilation is the best means of managing it.

Keeping it bottled up, it'll only make the problems worse. I don't know if you have ever dealt with thoughts of suicide, but they are among the worst.

I've been told by some idiot, "You're depressed? What do you have to be depressed about?" The person clearly didn't understand that I didn't choose to be depressed as Alpha Baymax said there are scientific causes for it.

While suicide has popped up, it has never truly been a consideration so far.
I haven't opened up to many people about this, mostly because I've already heard several people's opinion on the subject before (unrelated to me).

I'd like to thank you guys for your kind words too (and again, if anyone with similar issues comes across this and needs to vent themselves, they should feel free to do so)

 

[maryadavies]

A suggestion on the blog. There IS a easy way to do one.

http://www.livejournal.com/

If you're paranoid, Livejournal lets you you lock any rants/entries you wish away from prying eyes. I do lock quite a few entries myself mainly b/c I got yelled at about talking about private stuff in public. It's also kinda quiet now but that's fine if you just want to vent.

 

[KingdomKey]

You could also do it on tumblr, cause there is a 'private' setting when you post anything, including a secondary blog; where you can have a password set for it too. However, keeping a journal at home could work as well, if you didn't want it out there across the internet. (I can't remember if I pointed that out earlier in my op.) Anyways, whatever helps you out the most with venting. You've got a few options to choose from. C: And your welcome! Happy to help out any time.

 

[Dreaded_Desire62]

I don't know if you have these dreams when you're asleep. I was at my step-grandparents' home. My step-grandpa was putting my sister, and my two step-cousins in the backseat. I was wrapped tightly in a blanket and trying to conceal myself. He caught me and some college girl that was passing through. The girl denied being with me and she was let go while I got threatened, "Promise me that you will never set foot on my property again, because if you do. I will shoot!"

I swore and hurriedly ran off. I am anxious about dreaming again because I have a lot of problems with sleep. I think it might be part of my depression.

I get threatened, and yelled at a lot in my dreams.

 

[Chuuya]

Sorry to hear Dreaded, stress can make me have bad dreams kind of like that. Yes, I've been there too. I've felt like I was hated and even whined like a 3 year old in front of my friends and it was out in public (embarrassed just remembering it). Best way to deal with depression like I sometimes do is go to a friend(s). My friends always cheer me up when I'm good. Maybe at least find a family member(s) who could help. Don't let your depression overtake you, it is definitely NOT pretty.

 

[Muke]

I'm kinda late, but I still want you to hear this from a person who was in deep depression himself.
I don't want to go to much into detail since it might drag people down. (Not in the sense of 'oh, he has a poor life', that's not what I'm saying -- just to clarify. Hearing bad/sad stories does affect one's own emotions, so.)

I just want you to stay tight. I know, this might sound really cliche, but you can trust me. You will get out of it one day. It will finally be over. And if you really, truly believe in yourself and have faith… there's not much that can go wrong.
Of course, I don't know the full story, but I don't want you to feel like you are forcing yourself to tell someone. Sometimes, it is the best you can do.
If you need to talk, you can PM me whenever you want to.

Just don't ever give up. I believe in you, and so should you. ^_^

 

[VoidGear.]

I'm not gonna go into detail about my past because I seriously think that'd only drag you down. I lost count on how many people were shocked when I told them about some stories in my so-called family, so d'uh.

I just want to tell you that until I was 19 years old, I felt like I'd end my life at a maximum age of 25. It felt unbearable and suffocating. The only thing that did help me in the end was fighting against it. Not in the matter of "yeah I dun wanna suffer", but actually doing something against it.
New things are something we don't like because we don't know if things will get even worse than they are. But they're also a great opportunity to make things better where you never expected it to be possible

 

[Dreaded_Desire62]

Has anyone ever had to deal with intrusive thoughts?

 

[Dentim]

You could also do it on tumblr, cause there is a 'private' setting when you post anything, including a secondary blog; where you can have a password set for it too. However, keeping a journal at home could work as well, if you didn't want it out there across the internet. (I can't remember if I pointed that out earlier in my op.) Anyways, whatever helps you out the most with venting. You've got a few options to choose from. C: And your welcome! Happy to help out any time.

I may check that out, even though I'm not really familiar with the workings of Tumblr. Thanks again.

I'm not gonna go into detail about my past because I seriously think that'd only drag you down. I lost count on how many people were shocked when I told them about some stories in my so-called family, so d'uh.

I just want to tell you that until I was 19 years old, I felt like I'd end my life at a maximum age of 25. It felt unbearable and suffocating. The only thing that did help me in the end was fighting against it. Not in the matter of "yeah I dun wanna suffer", but actually doing something against it.
New things are something we don't like because we don't know if things will get even worse than they are. But they're also a great opportunity to make things better where you never expected it to be possible

I have to admit, I'm turning 28 in a couple of weeks and if you asked me several years ago if I thought I'd ever get to that age I'd have replied negatively too.
I agree, trying new things can indeed be a good opportunity for that. I only moved out of my parents house a couple of months ago, and overal it's made things better for me (aside from the occasional bout of loneliness)

Has anyone ever had to deal with intrusive thoughts?

I have, and they are a bitch to deal with. But after a while they stop, so that's what I use to keep myself grounded: the knowledge that they won't last.

 

[Dreaded_Desire62]

I may check that out, even though I'm not really familiar with the workings of Tumblr. Thanks again.


I have to admit, I'm turning 28 in a couple of weeks and if you asked me several years ago if I thought I'd ever get to that age I'd have replied negatively too.
I agree, trying new things can indeed be a good opportunity for that. I only moved out of my parents house a couple of months ago, and overal it's made things better for me (aside from the occasional bout of loneliness)


I have, and they are a bitch to deal with. But after a while they stop, so that's what I use to keep myself grounded: the knowledge that they won't last.

Yeah and it's pretty much the same as having those thoughts that say that something important to you won't come and then you have to make a split second decision just so you won't get into trouble. I had that happen to me today with my rent and I am paranoid that my rent may still not come. That seems to be the case so far and I really hate that I take all of my anger and disappointment out on myself. It isn't healthy!

I really hope that I get some justice in this situation, because I shouldn't have had to pay. I have someone that takes care of my finances and the check for the rent didn't come, so I had to pay out of my own bank account. I am really upset and probably revealing too much information. I still can't take this and I need to get my mind off of this.

If you're depressed or going through what I am going through, it's probably best to find a distraction. Even though, it proves difficult.

 

[Dentim]

Yeah and it's pretty much the same as having those thoughts that say that something important to you won't come and then you have to make a split second decision just so you won't get into trouble. I had that happen to me today with my rent and I am paranoid that my rent may still not come. That seems to be the case so far and I really hate that I take all of my anger and disappointment out on myself. It isn't healthy!

I really hope that I get some justice in this situation, because I shouldn't have had to pay. I have someone that takes care of my finances and the check for the rent didn't come, so I had to pay out of my own bank account. I am really upset and probably revealing too much information. I still can't take this and I need to get my mind off of this.

If you're depressed or going through what I am going through, it's probably best to find a distraction. Even though, it proves difficult.

Taking it out on yourself definitely isn't the way to go. I hope everything turned out alright for you.

 

[Noir]

I got diagnosed with depression a few years ago, but I feel I've made a lot of progress in it.
Mine stemmed from anxiety, and I felt incredibly worthless around 2012. I graduated from high school with Cs and was unable to find what I wanted to go into. I didn't meet the grades needed for the course I originally wanted to at university despite being given the offer for it, and when I went to go into college for the course first, they rejected me (after saying they were happy for me to join). I wound up on job seekers allowance, and people would just turn their nose up at me when I went in. I hated it. I need to work - I spent about a year out of education, and no one wanted to hire me since I lacked any experience or qualifications.
Even just going out to places freaked me out. Not long before, I had been held up at knife point just outside my school, and for a good while, I just couldn't leave my house.

My family started making comments about how I was "the failed first child" or "prototype", if you will. They insisted my brother and sister would never wind up like me. A few months into this, I finally admitted to my friend that I was considering killing myself. I vividly remember being asked to come to a party, despite the anxieties, and I did, but then I just kinda told my friend, and I remember him crying and begging me not to. That memory still upsets me to this day.

An old friend of mine finally convinced me to go to therapy and I did for a bit. The irony is that the therapy was in a part of the city I didn't know, and to get the help I needed to overcome my anxiety, I had to go to somewhere that caused anxiety. I wound up not sticking to it. They asked me to attend an open sessions with other people who talked to one another about their problems. I didn't go. One of the horrible things about depression is where you convince yourself you don't need the help. That there are other people who need it more than you. I know in this case I never got the help I should have - and honestly, just because I didn't, doesn't mean you shouldn't either - but about May 2013, I managed to get into a course for college. And it's dumb, but I took college as a fresh start. Nobody knew who I was, so I decided to convince myself I was going to be successful, that I was going to be confident, and that I was going to succeed.

Three years later, and I'm currently in my final year of university. I have a BA Business Management degree that will hopefully become an honours at the end of this year. I have a job, I have a great circle of friends and I think I'm on the road to recovery. Thing is, you naturally can't just get out of depression. I still have intense bouts, but I'm fortunate that I have a wonderful friend who I can talk and she always listens. Talking to people does help. It can be a therapist or someone you trust personally. Some people can vent openly - others take to other means, such as web forums. And I sincerely hope that each and all of you who have posted before are okay. Some people won't speak out from fears like I had, where I felt other people had it worse than me. But guys. Fuck that. You owe it to yourself to get the help you need.

Anyway, sorry for badgering on so much. Take care everyone.

 

[Dentim]

I got diagnosed with depression a few years ago, but I feel I've made a lot of progress in it.
Mine stemmed from anxiety, and I felt incredibly worthless around 2012. I graduated from high school with Cs and was unable to find what I wanted to go into. I didn't meet the grades needed for the course I originally wanted to at university despite being given the offer for it, and when I went to go into college for the course first, they rejected me (after saying they were happy for me to join). I wound up on job seekers allowance, and people would just turn their nose up at me when I went in. I hated it. I need to work - I spent about a year out of education, and no one wanted to hire me since I lacked any experience or qualifications.
Even just going out to places freaked me out. Not long before, I had been held up at knife point just outside my school, and for a good while, I just couldn't leave my house.

My family started making comments about how I was "the failed first child" or "prototype", if you will. They insisted my brother and sister would never wind up like me. A few months into this, I finally admitted to my friend that I was considering killing myself. I vividly remember being asked to come to a party, despite the anxieties, and I did, but then I just kinda told my friend, and I remember him crying and begging me not to. That memory still upsets me to this day.

An old friend of mine finally convinced me to go to therapy and I did for a bit. The irony is that the therapy was in a part of the city I didn't know, and to get the help I needed to overcome my anxiety, I had to go to somewhere that caused anxiety. I wound up not sticking to it. They asked me to attend an open sessions with other people who talked to one another about their problems. I didn't go. One of the horrible things about depression is where you convince yourself you don't need the help. That there are other people who need it more than you. I know in this case I never got the help I should have - and honestly, just because I didn't, doesn't mean you shouldn't either - but about May 2013, I managed to get into a course for college. And it's dumb, but I took college as a fresh start. Nobody knew who I was, so I decided to convince myself I was going to be successful, that I was going to be confident, and that I was going to succeed.

Three years later, and I'm currently in my final year of university. I have a BA Business Management degree that will hopefully become an honours at the end of this year. I have a job, I have a great circle of friends and I think I'm on the road to recovery. Thing is, you naturally can't just get out of depression. I still have intense bouts, but I'm fortunate that I have a wonderful friend who I can talk and she always listens. Talking to people does help. It can be a therapist or someone you trust personally. Some people can vent openly - others take to other means, such as web forums. And I sincerely hope that each and all of you who have posted before are okay. Some people won't speak out from fears like I had, where I felt other people had it worse than me. But guys. diddly that. You owe it to yourself to get the help you need.

Anyway, sorry for badgering on so much. Take care everyone.

It's great that you are doing so much better now. I have my fair share of anxieties and know how they can greatly damage your life. Just keep hanging in there and be sure to cherish that friend of yours.

Also: never apologize for this. Be proud that you had it in you to come forth with it. You don't have to feel sorry about sharing your experiences.

 

[Dreaded_Desire62]

Taking it out on yourself definitely isn't the way to go. I hope everything turned out alright for you.

It did and pretty much my hundred dollars will be applied to my credit next month. Hopefully, nothing bad will happen. But, for me, that's wishing a lot.

Someone needs to pay, it might as well be me. The worst that I have given myself is a swollen (not broken) nose. I am applauded for living on my own since a lot of people doubted that I would be able to do that. I wonder if I will ever find and keep a job. I'm such a loser, the chances of me keeping it are slim to none.

I have Asperger's with depression and possibly some other things that I don't even know about. I also have a cat. But, no matter how much I try to cheer myself up. I just have those thoughts that say, "Oh, what about everyone else?" "The greeter at Smith's does her job better than you would ever be to do."

It seems like I can never give myself any props without those thoughts coming up. I personally have a hard time letting go of the past. I've probably had depression ever since I was little, because I was always doing reckless things.

 

[ImVentus]

For many years now I have been struggling and resisting having thoughts of having depression. For so many times that I have felt like every new attempt to do something about it karma has been a b**** to me. People, friends, family and recently counsellors have all tried to reach out to me about having "confidence" and not being to harsh on myself. But for every day that passes by a new challenge or issue arises and I learn something new about myself or my surrounding that apparently wasn't there before. Trying to move on from the past is harder than I would ever imagine it to be. Every time someone tries to encourage me or I'll do it to myself to hang in there and love myself I only have confidence for a small amount of time and then if I find myself in a situation or conflict I feel no more confident at all.

I really feel for anyone out there who is dealing with depression social anxiety or any type of suffering and I want to support anyone here who is experiencing struggling. I know how it feels that's why I'm here to tell you that we are all in this help each other.

I believed that I was having a fresh start in my life this year but to my surprise I found yet another betrayer or more (accurately) a manipulator who only seemed like they were of being a friend but actually wasn't being honest with me. I really don't like having trust issues but it's the only way to make sure that no one will try to hurt me again. I've had enough of being betrayed. I don't know what will happen now but I'm gonna stay aware and not let people get to me emotionally in my environment. Sometimes all we need to do is just talk here on the forum to lighten the mood.