No Muslim reverts? Okay.
Tbh, I've dabbled in a bit of everything Abrahamic really. IIRC, England is mostly C of E though we have a few Catholics but there's not that much difference between them. I think Catholics hold the Pope as the head of the Church while Anglicans hold it as the Queen? Whatever, so when I was younger I went to a C of E school. Every Wednesday we had prayer/hymns with our own priest and on Sunday we had this marching band followed by a church service with our own private church. I never really took stock in it because we weren't practising religion at home. I just had to do it for school.
After losing my bf when I was 16 I went through a major bad patch. I had spent my younger teen years doing a lot of bad stuff I shouldn't and had the worst time at secondary school so at that point I was really emotionally detached and really diddlying lonely. So I just kind of started thinking about God I guess. Anyway, that lead me to some stuff about Judaism which I was interested in. I wore kippah for a few months and started reading Torah but idk, I think I was so desperately in need of guidance because I was going through a lot of shit at that point that I was sort of forcing myself into it. Plus the fact that where I was living the Jewish community was sooo xenophobic so I had literally nobody to guide me.
At this point I had been living w/ my Muslim friends for a few years at uni and we were bffs so we talked about a lot of things. Religion was just one of them. I would talk about being Jewish, they would talk about being Muslim as well as their culture (majorly Pakistani/Indian) which of course has a lot of Islamic influences in it so, you know, it felt like they had a really good sort of solid, concrete support system behind them? And idk, a lot of weird stuff happened that lead me to convert to Islam but every day it feels like even though I have my own problems w/ myself and w/ the way the world is, I do feel protected you know? Like I feel loved and guarded by something other than the physical world around me.
Basically what happened was I was still practising Judaism at this point but I would be deeply into the Asian scene since my friends were Pakistani/Indian and I was living in Manchester at the time which has a huge Asian population. So we would go to the Asian places (the Curry Mile/Wilmslow Road for those who don't know it) and like 95% of my friend circle was Asian/Muslim so I had a lot of positive influences and support even though they knew I was practising Judaism. Anyway so that was really helpful with what I was going through. Anyway so I started to realise that I was having this weird sensation inside like... I would read Torah and just get bored? Like I wouldn't care? But when I read Quran, it felt like it was written for me?
And naturally my support structure was absolutely amazing in Islam. I had so many people outside of myself and my friend circle that were so helpful and welcoming and like a family. So one night, you have to realise that for the past 3 years I was having the shittiest time getting over my boyfriend's passing (he was killed in Afghanistan as a soldier) and I would cry and cry and cry all the time which was really difficult to me since I was by that point so used to being emotionally shut off. So I would pray and plead to God to let me see my bf one last time as closure since it just really diddlying hurt. I mean this guy was like a best friend to me as well. But I got nothing. So you know, I dealt with his loss by myself which was super trialling because I never spoke about it to anybody really and after this one shitty incident where I told one person on here all about how I was feeling about his death, and got 100% betrayed and humiliated for that, I just learned to deal with it alone. So it took time but I did it.
So yeah, one night I had this dream right? Like, I'm not a big believer in this kinda stuff but it just weirded me out and was /too/ coincidental for me. I was completely over my bf's death at this point, I was in a better place. He wasn't even at the back of my mind or anything. So I had this dream where I was in my sister's house and there was shit moving around, like tables and candles and things. I thought it was some sort of poltergeist or something so I was like okay, I'm gonna prepare myself for a nightmare because I haaate having nightmares with a passion, so I was all like yeah, let's be proactive in dream-land about this and get it over and done with. So I go into the bathroom to look for this ghost or whatever, and all of a sudden, I just see my boyfriend stood in the corner of the room looking out of the window. And he was invisible but there was dust all over him, so I knew it was him? Though I couldn't see his face. And I just broke the diddly down you know? Like I was like, where did you come from? I'm over you, this is so out of the blue. So I put my hands on his face and I start screaming frantically, "Let this be real, please let this be real. If this is real I promise I'll convert to Islam."
And then I woke up crying and I was like naaaa man that shit ain't funny. And it really scared me. But I started like thinking about a lot of shit. And then I posted on here some question for help from Muslims on the forums about this, and weird thing, a few hours later, my friend's friend's cousin randomly called me and talked about Islam to me for hours and hours? When there was no way she could have seen my post? So, idk, I started thinking about things in my mind about Islam etc how to pray. And then a few mins later, there would be a random Facebook post about it answering my problems. And when I would read Quran, one thought would run through my head and literally 2 minutes later, I would read that exact same thought I had just had. It was crazy.
so yeah tldr i've been a practising muslim for like 15 months now and love it alhamdulillah.
