Wars Of Celestia

[lenniel]

A futuristic RP, so no old-fashioned weapons, but any other weapons you can think of that are sci-fi-like. There are six planets in the galaxy of Celestia to choose from; Earth, Valhalla, Avalon, Fingaia, Servon and Q10 Alpha. Exactly six years ago the galaxy of Celestia was invaded by an undiscovered race, The Dark Elves. They had been lying in wait for centuries waiting for the moment when they planets were unprepared. It came with the festival of the Alignment. A festival celebrated every 846 years when the planets align. The only time that all the planets are at peace, until now. All the planets have joined together to form the Alliance of Celestia. The Dark Elves formed the Brotherhood of the Eclipse.

Don't post until I say start. Start on your home planet unless i say you can start somewhere else!!!

Template:
Name: obvious
Age: also obvious
Race: Human, Elf, Half-Dragon, Soulborg (a robot imbued with a soul), Dark Elf, Valkyries (winged warriors)
Alignment:Alliance or Brotherhood of the Eclipse
Appearance: picture and/or description
Weapon of Choice: obvious
Planet of Origin: one of the six
Biography: life before the War

Accepted Temps:
Nocturnal Mystic by lenniel
Vayne by cloudwolf124


Planets:
Earth - a planet that is covered in 75% water. Only Humans live here.
Valhalla - A rocky planet with very little water. Bountiful in big game, it is the perfect place for the War-like Valkyrie.
Avalon - this planet is covered in marshes and swamps and the residents travel mostly in boats and hovercrafts. The buildings are in the Treetops and are inhabited by elves and Half-Dragons.
Fingaia - water covers around 97.5% of this planet. The Elves and Humans that live here live in a gigantic underwater city that covers the entire ocean floor. There is a small floating island on the surface, that at the time of the Alignment is directly over the main square in the City.
Servon - a mainly desolate planet once inhabited by Valkyries it is know home to the Dark Elves.
Q10 Alpha - A giant mechanical city inhabited by the Soulborgs. A few human scientists live here to help with creating the souls in the robots.

 

[lenniel]

Name: "Nocturnal" Mystic Noxnat
Age: 14
Race: Dark Elf
Alignment:Alliance
Appearance: http://stu004749.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/anime_guy_2.jpg
Weapon of Choice: A simple staff he calls Shadow Lord and Magyk in which he can control the elements and meld 2 elements into one.
Planet of Origin: Servon
Personality: He is a fairly solitary person like all Magi, but he is extremely talkative with his friends and family. He is sometimes blinded by rage and once wounded his brother so bad he couldn't walk for a week.
Biography: Mystic was born on a previously unknown planet in the Galaxy of Celestia. Even as a small child he exhibited the ability of a powerful Magi. His father was killed in the first wave against the other Celestians but his mother still lives on Servon. He has 3 siblings, two brothers and a sister. He is the eldest and as such is the main bread-winner for his family. His reasons for fighting in the war are revenge for his father and because he is the best warrior in his village. He fights in the back lines using his Magykal abilities to good use.

 

[cloudwolf124]

I shall join this

Name: Vayne
Age: 24
Race: Human
Alignment:Alliance
Appearance:http://api.ning.com/files/uppeAtAKg...KKS*FgX3PlaLad4wrqi/2349589392_056aeed51b.jpg
Weapon of Choice: http://super-hyper-meta.com/images/halo-energy-sword.jpg, and http://www.theforceperu.net/img/datafiles/rifle_blaster_dc_15a.png
Planet of Origin: Earth
Biography: Vayne was young when the Dark Elves attacked his home planet. He managed to escape the massacre and joined the Alliance to get revenge on those who did him wrong.

 

[UsagiOkami]

*screams* ELVES!!!! I LOVE ELVES!!!!!! And there is Drow to choose from as well!!!!!!!!! OMG!!!!!! I am so joining this!!!!!

 

[lenniel]

I shall join this

Name: Vayne
Age: 24
Race: Human
Alignment:Alliance
Appearance:http://api.ning.com/files/uppeAtAKg...KKS*FgX3PlaLad4wrqi/2349589392_056aeed51b.jpg
Weapon of Choice: http://super-hyper-meta.com/images/halo-energy-sword.jpg, and http://www.theforceperu.net/img/datafiles/rifle_blaster_dc_15a.png
Planet of Origin: Earth
Biography: Vayne was young when the Dark Elves attacked his home planet. He managed to escape the massacre and joined the Alliance to get revenge on those who did him wrong.

ACCEPTED

 

[King Sora X]

Did you not put at least some thought into this rp. Seriously when you make an rp, you have to put thought into it, details, effort.

 

[lenniel]

Did you not put at least some thought into this rp. Seriously when you make an rp, you have to put thought into it, details, effort.

I did actually, and seeing as this is my first i reckon it is fairly good.

 

[Neglect]

This role-play looks extremely rushed. What you're offering me, a potential role-player, is a blank galaxy with planets that hold no utter significance from each other besides their name. Complementing that is a plot so simplified that it doesn't interest me in the slightest. To top it all off, you create a "half-dragon" Roxas template that's entirely half-ASSED, in what I assumed to be an original role-play given its title and plot, but no, I suppose in the galaxy of Celestia there exists reincarnations of Kingdom Hearts characters.

All I'm suggesting is that you flesh your idea out a bit more, give us more information to work with, make our choices a bit more zesty, and define whatever the hell a "Soulborg" is. I don't want to discourage you, but if you put in a little more effort into this role-play it could be refined into something worthwhile.

 

[lenniel]

This role-play looks extremely rushed. What you're offering me, a potential role-player, is a blank galaxy with planets that hold no utter significance from each other besides their name. Complementing that is a plot so simplified that it doesn't interest me in the slightest. To top it all off, you create a "half-dragon" Roxas template that's entirely half-ASSED, in what I assumed to be an original role-play given its title and plot, but no, I suppose in the galaxy of Celestia there exists reincarnations of Kingdom Hearts characters.

All I'm suggesting is that you flesh your idea out a bit more, give us more information to work with, make our choices a bit more zesty, and define whatever the hell a "Soulborg" is. I don't want to discourage you, but if you put in a little more effort this role-play could be refined into something worthwhile.

Thanks for the tips, atleast you weren't an ass like "King" Sora X. and a Soulborg is a robot that has been imbued with a soul. Do you have any tips i could have in like a numbered order!!!

 

[King Sora X]

Thanks for the tips, atleast you weren't an ass like "King" Sora X. and a Soulborg is a robot that has been imbued with a soul. Do you have any tips i could have in like a numbered order!!!

Your too kind.

 

[lenniel]

Your too kind.

It is true though. It obviously looked like an amateur's work, and I am an amateur. You could have been a bit nicer.

 

[Akans]

Well... err... no offense, but... I suggest you check out some of the other Rp's and how they were set up. Numbered tips? Hmm.

1) Firstly, put a bit more detail into your Roxas template. Creating a canon character-that-is-not-a-canon character won't make anyone like it. Plus, about 90% of the template is pictures. Usually... its the other way around.

2) Don't call people asses. Flaming doesn't help, it only leads to bans and less people liking you.

3) Describe the planets. People, race, climate, cities, culture, religion, magic, anything. And the races? If you're going to make it this vague, it'll cause confusion when someone tries making a temp.

4) You said yourself you were an amateur. Amateurs should usually learn more before trying to start up an Rp, and your amateur-ness can be seen quite easily. I consider myself a decent Rp'er, and I still haven't attempted to start an Rp.

5) If you want a really successful Rp, get some reputation. Get known. Then the more skilled Rp'ers will join and keep it going. Otherwise I can foresee this not getting off the ground.

7) Steer clear of Ubi. The Yellow-Texted God. He'll tear you down if he saw this > <

And I thought this was a Disgaea related Rp. Curses.

 

[King Sora X]

It is true though. It obviously looked like an amateur's work, and I am an amateur. You could have been a bit nicer.

Eh, no matter if i am nice or mean, i said what was true, more effort..get on the good side of people, and then you can get some people to join your rp.

Well... err... no offense, but... I suggest you check out some of the other Rp's and how they were set up. Numbered tips? Hmm.

1) Firstly, put a bit more detail into your Roxas template. Creating a canon character-that-is-not-a-canon character won't make anyone like it. Plus, about 90% of the template is pictures. Usually... its the other way around.

2) Don't call people asses. Flaming doesn't help, it only leads to bans and less people liking you.

3) Describe the planets. People, race, climate, cities, culture, religion, magic, anything. And the races? If you're going to make it this vague, it'll cause confusion when someone tries making a temp.

4) You said yourself you were an amateur. Amateurs should usually learn more before trying to start up an Rp, and your amateur-ness can be seen quite easily. I consider myself a decent Rp'er, and I still haven't attempted to start an Rp.

5) If you want a really successful Rp, get some reputation. Get known. Then the more skilled Rp'ers will join and keep it going. Otherwise I can foresee this not getting off the ground.

6) Steer clear of Ubi. The Yellow-Texted God. He'll tear you down if he saw this > <

Best advice given ^_^

 

[lenniel]

Well... err... no offense, but... I suggest you check out some of the other Rp's and how they were set up. Numbered tips? Hmm.

1) Firstly, put a bit more detail into your Roxas template. Creating a canon character-that-is-not-a-canon character won't make anyone like it. Plus, about 90% of the template is pictures. Usually... its the other way around.

2) Don't call people asses. Flaming doesn't help, it only leads to bans and less people liking you.

3) Describe the planets. People, race, climate, cities, culture, religion, magic, anything. And the races? If you're going to make it this vague, it'll cause confusion when someone tries making a temp.

4) You said yourself you were an amateur. Amateurs should usually learn more before trying to start up an Rp, and your amateur-ness can be seen quite easily. I consider myself a decent Rp'er, and I still haven't attempted to start an Rp.

5) If you want a really successful Rp, get some reputation. Get known. Then the more skilled Rp'ers will join and keep it going. Otherwise I can foresee this not getting off the ground.

7) Steer clear of Ubi. The Yellow-Texted God. He'll tear you down if he saw this > <

And I thought this was a Disgaea related Rp. Curses.

So i should choose a different character then???

 

[lenniel]

Eh, no matter if i am nice or mean, i said what was true, more effort..get on the good side of people, and then you can get some people to join your rp.

I know, i shouldn't have overeacted. Are there any ideas you could give me?

 

[Neglect]

Thanks for the tips, atleast you weren't an ass like "King" Sora X. and a Soulborg is a robot that has been imbued with a soul. Do you have any tips i could have in like a numbered order!!!

I'm glad that you're open minded and eager to improve. Providing tips wouldn't be a problem.

1) Establish a basis for your role-play. Questions running through the mind of a potential role-play are: What's this universe like? What can my character do in this universe? What are its inhabitants like? What's going on in this universe? These questions need answering, which you did a poor job at. Perhaps a more thorough description of why The Dark Elves are interested in the galaxy of Celestia, and a brief history of the galaxy and its planets.

2) Give us details of your role-play's universe. In this case, the potential role-player may want to know more of these planets, such as how they are governed, who inhabits them, what their inhabitants are like, the climate and terrain, the structure and function of their society etc, etc. You could even provide just a brief summary of the planet's history, though that's optional but I'd still reccomend it, as it gives the role-players a better understanding of what's going through your head.

3) Set yourself some standards. I was utterly taken by surprise when I saw a Roxas template, truly realizing how incredulous this universe was. Making a character loosely inspired by Roxas? That's fine. Completely copying the character's appearance, equipment and altering nothing but its origins (a pathetic alteration at that)? Not acceptable. Simply making a template for the character Roxas raises many questions, such as "Are there key-bladers in this galaxy? Are there nobodies? Is this galaxy omniverse?" It leaves the concepts of the role-play in shambles and brings up the thought if a character has any capacity what so ever.

Here are your tips. As long as your enthuisiasm and open mind remains intact, I have no doubt that you are capable of producing a decent role-play.

 

[lenniel]

I'm glad that you're open minded and eager to improve. Providing tips wouldn't be a problem.

1) Establish a basis for your role-play. Questions running through the mind of a potential role-play are: What's this universe like? What can my character do in this universe? What are its inhabitants like? What's going on in this universe? These questions need answering, which you did a poor job at. Perhaps a more thorough description of why The Dark Elves are interested in the galaxy of Celestia, and a brief history of the galaxy and its planets.

2) Give us details of your role-play's universe. In this case, the potential role-player may want to know more of these planets, such as how they are governed, who inhabits them, what their inhabitants are like, the climate and terrain, the structure and function of their society etc, etc. You could even provide just a brief summary of the planet's history, though that's optional but I'd still reccomend it, as it gives the role-players a better understanding of what's going through your head.

3) Set yourself some standards. I was utterly taken by surprise when I saw a Roxas template, truly realizing how incredulous this universe was. Making a character loosely inspired by Roxas? That's fine. Completely copying the character's appearance, equipment and altering nothing but its origins (a pathetic alteration at that)? Not acceptable. Simply making a template for the character Roxas raises many questions, such as "Are there key-bladers in this galaxy? Are there nobodies? Is this galaxy omniverse?" It leaves the concepts of the role-play in shambles and brings up the thought if a character has any capacity what so ever.

Here are your tips. As long as your enthuisiasm and open mind remains intact, I have no doubt that you are capable of producing a decent role-play.

Thanks, I'm going to make a new character temp

 

[Akans]

I would like to give advice, but my fingers are cold and I'm sleepy, so I'll point you to a sticky by Rena, along with more guides made by other members.

http://forums.khinsider.com/roleplaying/81274-khinsider-s-roleplay-guide-directory.html


On the bottom of the first post are more links to more guides. Check them out. It wouldn't hurt to participate in a few Rp's also made by others, and once again, be careful of Ubi. He doesn't like newbs and is quite ferocious. A very good Rp'er also.