Fanfiction ► Virus

[Maverick E.S]

Without further wait here is the final version of the prologue and start of the first chapter.....


Prologue:

“Too many of them created to stop in time…drastic measures had to be taken. I hoped to change the world with this project, but a defect in their programming later after their release into our world to help people made us vulnerable for their attack. I knew this would happen after the studies of them showed them to be more hostile in nature but I did not have the time to build something to stop them without having horrid consequences. But as you hear this you already know, I’m deeply sorry for this my friend. One of the stronger ones, Omega took command over what they now called themselves the “virus” with forceful actions; I soon learned that it was in fact their defect that changed the way they thought and acted.

So I activated my older experiments Jin young and Melderra, who chose their names to hopefully stop them, but Jin also received the defect and took Omega’s place as commander, and Melderra, I don’t know what happened to her. Phil if you get this message it means the worst has happened, my planets destruction was caused by me, and everyone on the planet had been infected. My son, Dylan and I were the only ones left, I cant assure you that I have survived the destruction, but my Son and Dylan who is in the capsule were last seen by me leaving the planet on the ships I provided for them. Look after Dylan for me, and if my son Brad survived…please…find him.”

End Transmission. The hologram video of Tyler ended; he was a good friend of Phil Ilias, the one who viewed the video. Phil helped in creating Dylan and some concepts of what the now named “Virus” he knew what Tyler had made but he did not know what they had become. He did not have enough time to record what has been happening to the viruses before the planets demise, but it wasn’t like it would help at all.

2 months later…

At 5 pm Phil was writing in his journal at the desk in his room about a “Mimic”, something he had been working on for a few weeks. An old fashion radio sat on the side of the desk which he had hacked so he could be tuned in to crime and other business, just in case his worst fear would come true. As he continued to write a blanking in and out conversation sounded off. Unfortunately a lot of static was in the background cutting off most of what they were saying.

“Andrew, come in…report…your status…” One voice said, the conversation continued.

“Monsters I’ve never seen before…came out of nowhere; half of the other soldiers that came in contact….against us…cant hold on much lon-…there all over us…we need back up…EVERYONE FALL BACK…GET OFF ME….AAAHH!”

“Andrew…do you read me-…come on man…Andrew… No!”

Phil’s dropped his pen and sat back in his chair, speechless, knowing exactly what attack the soldiers. He just didn’t want to believe it. Something snapped outside, it sounded like a tree branch; he turned down the radio listening out for more sounds. “Must have been the wind.” He thought. After hearing nothing else but the conversations of people outside, his mind went back to the conversation he heard.

High in the tree right outside Phil’s house where the snapping sound came from was Omega hiding, using his cloaking device. It was spying on Phil and waiting…but for what?




Chapter 1: The beginning of an adventure


A ship glides above the clouds nearing a city, as the engines echo through the sky. Inside sat 2 pilots and 4 people in the back including a teenage boy. He wore a cap over his head and had regular hair a bit halfway down his neck with goggles around it, a navy blue sleeveless hoody with a white short sleeve under it and bandages covering his arms and handcuffs on.

The ship emerged out from the clouds and below laid Shaxdin city; it was a modern type city with buildings but mostly houses around.

They landed down at the gates of the city, the boy Dylan was the first to come out the back with one of the soldiers Deren hand on his shoulder, the others stayed inside. Aaron and Miki were friends of Deren, they were at the gates as they opened and saw Deren and Dylan, in handcuffs. He had short dark brown skin and hair with a goatee. Always wears the same hat that has the flap that goes all around with a few stitches on the side while always still wearing his soldier outfit.

Miki was Deren younger sister; she wore a cap too, with a green vest black sleeveless shirt underneath, a mini skirt with pants under it while Aaron had a dark brown complexion with a cap on his head blue shirt with darker blue pants.

Miki was the first to speak as Deren and Dylan were approaching. “What is Dylan doing with those handcuffs on?”

Deren looked up at her. “Well we had an extra pair and he wanted them. He tried to store away in the ship which is why I put them on his wrist.” He turned around walking back to the ship. “I and the others aren’t done with our mission yet but I’ll be back soon.”

Miki saw how serious Deren was right now, something had to be up. She waved leaving the thought alone. “See ya!”

Dylan was eye balling his new shiny hand cuffs when he noticed he was missing something. “Wait hey Deren, these came with keys didn’t they?”

He had one foot inside the ship when he responded. “I was hoping you wouldn’t have noticed until after I left, here.” He dug in his pocket and threw them to him. Dylan tried to lean down to get them but fell down thanks to the chains Deren gave him that he put on his legs.

“A little help here.” With handcuffs and chains on his legs he couldn’t get up. Miki and Aaron laughed walking away. He grabs the keys and crawls trying to catch up. “Come on guys, I can’t get up!”

Deren was just about to head back inside the ship, when someone called out to him. “Deren, wait!” The mysterious figure rode down the right side cliffs that surrounded the city on a black and light grey hover bike. This guy was about 18 years old or that’s what he told anyone who asked. Black eyes, dark blondish hair, goggles over his eyes and a outfit with many straps but covered by a black cloak. Dylan, Aaron and Miki turned around hearing the man calling Deren’s name.

Deren walked out recognizing the voice. He had a surprised look on his face walking up to him. “Zach?” He asked. “What are you doing here, aren’t you suppose to be helping Andrew with that desert mission?”


Zach looked down sighing; he looked as if something went wrong. “That’s why I’m here, Andrew is missing in action I slept in missing the ship to go check out an area uncovered by the recent sand storm. Everyone else at the station is out on other missions, while I was trying to talk to him on our headset communicators his voice kept going in and out. He was saying something about monsters he had never seen, from what I heard in the background the battle wasn’t going good.”
Deren UN hooked his plasma canon and loaded it heading into the ship. “We haven’t got to lose, haul it now.” They got in and the ship blasted off with Zach’s directions to the desert where Andrew was last heard from.

Dylan cocked his head, in confusion. “Who was that guy, and who is Andrew?”

Aaron put his hand on his shoulder and like a smart-aleck he said. “I think you should have asked that BEFORE they left.” Miki and Aaron walked back inside leaving Dylan looked up at the sky, thinking about the “monsters” Zach had mentioned.


Occ: Ok not much but the end and a a few tweaks have changed but this will switch up the story a little bit, now Zach and Andrew are mentioned earlier in the story which will add more things to come and some more interesting things so stayed tuned for the next update...

 

[Maverick E.S]

Yeah its short but its like this because im unsure about how much more of this part is going to be put in:



About 25 minutes of flying Zach’s directions led Deren and his squad to the area, where Andrew was last heard. It was a bit windy out but it was clear to land. They landed in what seemed to be the middle; they were outside of what seemed to be some huge triangular shaped man made structure with bridges going across the gaps at the top. Beside it and even going behind it were more structures but they looked older than this one and smaller. The ship Andrew took there was a bit down from where they landed and partially covered with sand.

Walking out the ship they noticed it and ran over checking it out. Zach rubbed off the sand that covered the windshield; he saw nothing but darkness inside. Deren walked further down scouting the area out, until he saw a dark spot amongst the sand, walking up to it he saw stairs going down through it. “Over here!” He yelled. Zach ran over with the other soldiers right behind him. “What is it?” Zach shined his portable flash light down it, slowly he went down it. “Let’s go.” Deren turned around to the 4 soldiers, “Two of you stay and guard the ship just in case, and the others follow me.”


Zach led the way inside to what now looked to be some kind of tunnel. The only light that shinned was his, dripping sounds could be heard all through the tunnel as they got deeper. Then they heard some light screeches almost like a raptor, it began slow then got quicker and quicker. The other soldiers began to breath faster, Deren and Zach got their weapons ready. The corner where the screeching was coming from was coming up, Deren’s walkie talkie let out the part of the squad that was watching the ship. “Deren there is something under the sand…it’s coming towards us. Whatever it is it can’t be go-” He gets cut off by a loud screeching noise on their side of the receiver, then all Deren and the others hear are yells, shots and then…nothing. He took out the walkie talkie, worried he tried to speak to them. “Soldiers report, are you there…we got to go back and see what happened to them.”

As soon as his walkie talkie came on though that gave away their location, whatever was attacking the others the same kind of things were heading for them inside the tunnel. When they began walking back they heard different sounds then before, this time it sounded like there were a lot of sources and like it was coming right for them. Then right from the corner one bursted out, it had a long head from the front is looked regular size but the back had 2 long horn like body parts going half way down its back, with smaller ones straight on the sides, sharp long glowing yellow eyes, 3 long fingers which could stretch up to 12 feet and two long toes. Eyes glowing in the darkness as it let out a huge scream; the soldiers covered their ears trying to get the sound out but it didn’t work, and soon the tunnel was beginning to shake.

White circles appeared on the walls and more of the creatures phased through surrounding them. Deren and Zach were back to back, same as the other soldiers. “Looks like we aren’t going anywhere yet…” Zach said. The viruses just stood there…every few second one would screech to scare them but in a few more seconds, they would attack. “That’s not part of the mission.” Deren quickly loaded his cannon and shot at the ones in front of him but the blast went right through them and hit the wall behind. While Deren rubbed his eyes trying not to believe what he saw, Zach turned facing him. “You firing blanks or something?”


Deren did not want to try that move again, as much as he didn’t want to believe it, his weapons would not work on those things. He dug into his right pocket, and whispered to the others about his plan. “As soon as I throw this we run…got it?” Right after he said that the monsters jumped at them. Deren quickly took out his smoke bomb for the plan to work and activated it as he threw it to the ground. “Now!”

The smoke came flying out and in an instant the whole part they were in was covered with smoke. As far as he knew Deren was in front, when he emerged out of the smoke he headed right for the exit. Then Zach a few seconds behind, the yells of the other soldiers came out next but they were too slow. Half of those monsters grabbed them and took them behind the walls. The rest trailed after the two remainders. “Are they still behind us!?”

Zach shook his head knowing he wasn’t going to look to check. “I’m not looking back there!”
The monsters switched to running on all fours screaming at them and coming up fast. Zach turned around a bit with his canon aiming it at the ceiling; he hoped with the shot he could collapse it on them. He aimed it right above them; he waited for the right time, close to the exit so he and Deren wouldn’t be caught in it.


Deren could finally see the light beaming down from the stairs just ahead of them. “We’re almost out of here!”

Zach took the shot, the impact first had rocks fly everywhere, a few hit the monsters which didn’t slow them down too much and then one hit Deren in the leg. He fell with Zach almost tripping over him, as soon as Zach was about to pull him up another one popped from the wall and snatched Deren through. “Get out of here!” That, was the last thing he said before he was gone. Zach stood there paralyzed in shock, until he forced his body to keep moving because the tunnel was still caving in from his shot. He ran as fast as he could just barely out running the rocks, hoping up the steps and right out into the desert as the tunnel completely collapsed.

 

[Xuan]

Wow. Definitely an improvement. A big one. Good job Maverick.

(Drinking rum because I was disqualified for GMing in the Semi Finals of SSFW. Boo Hoo!)

 

[Maverick E.S]

Cool glad to hear it ^_^, I think I know how I made the improvements so I'll try to keep it like that

 

[Maverick E.S]

Occ: Ok well this will be the remake of the beginning this may not be as well written as the last post but I am learning, also im going to be adding new things and there is a slight chance some things will be taken out but not the cool things just like little stuff that is un needed, I failed to make Karlis seem his character and some other stuff i was suppose to do so yeah still alot of work to do, but if you remember the post before the last one i think was the post for an extra scene for the virus inside deren but here is the part before it re written



STORY CONTINUATION:


After getting a few breaths in he got up, dusting himself off. He did not want to leave them but if he had stayed the same fate would’ve fallen upon him. “Now what…” He walked back to the ship completely forgetting about what the other soldiers had said over the walkie talkie. As he got down to the ship the same monsters that attacked up there previously had been following him under the sand. He knew the whole time; quickly he turned around and flung one of his 2 feet long re tractable shuriken at the one coming up to him. They continued to get closer without it slowing them down, he turned around to make a run for it when to his surprise one of the soldiers was in front of him but with bizarre marks on his face and his eyes were glowing at the pupils. The soldier snatched him up by the neck grinning insanely.

Zach struggled to speak. “What…are you…doing?” The soldiers hand glowed a dark red fiery aurora as he punched Zach in the gut; he flew back to where the sand burrowers were. Two large claws on each side grabbed him and fazed him through the sand in an instant. “No!”


It was about 1pm now and the sun wasn’t out because of the clouds showing it was going to rain soon. Dylan, Miki and Aaron were going to meet over at the gate because of Zach’s appearance which then led to him heading with Deren to find Andrew. Before that though because of Dylan being caught stowing away, he put a tracker on the ship so he could follow later on. He didn’t immediately go after them because of his hover board being repaired, plus Miki and Aaron would be upset if he left just without a word, which he was what he was planning on doing. Now they were all going to meet at the gates to hear Dylan’s full plans. Miki and Aaron wanted to go as well but the vehicles they were going to use were being repaired just like Dylan’s hover board was.


Aaron went to the Phil’s house after Deren left to get some things done, he told Miki he would catch up. They always kept in touch through the walkie talkies that they were going to use. Miki came out of the Phil’s house, today seemed pretty dull for them, it was cloudy so not too much light was shinning, it probably was about to rain soon. People were outside talking or buying things from merchants, as she walked by she saw Dylan down at the gates.

As she was approaching Miki saw Dylan waving she waved back with a smile. "Hey, Dylan!"
She walked up right in front of him. Dylan was surprised not seeing Aaron; he was talking about this day for awhile now. "Where is Aaron at?"




“He is still at the lab but he said he would catch up" Miki said.


They looked around for the guards but saw nothing but an “Out to Lunch” sign. Dylan looked at the sign scratching his head confused about it. “Is it me or is that sign always there?” Without the guards to open the gate Dylan and Miki headed up the stairs that lead to the top of the steps, just as the sky got darker. Dylan dug in his pockets until he took out a mechanical looking cube. "Ok remember we have the walkie talkies so I will tell you guys whatever I see as I head out.”

He stepped back close to the edge and pressed on a little button on the side then tossed it a few inches infront of him as it morphed into a hover board. Miki nodded to the decision; even though she did want to go it seemed better this way to her. Dylan jumped on then over the edge; he came flying down with a steady stance on the board. Moving his feet into a position that turned on the hover board now began his exploration outside the city…at about 15 mph.

He flew straight going along the trail, and outside of the city it looked battle torn, there was a big walk way that looked like it was carved or blown there and on the sides were tree's high up above on the little cliffs.
Looking around it Dylan seemed to be calm so far. "I didn't know we were in between hills, it’s kinda creepy out here."

Miki kept watch from atop, seeing something moving in the distance but wasn’t too clear.
Dylan kept heading down the trail. He looked up depressed when he felt droplets of rain hit him. The sky become dark as night now and the rain then came pouring down; Dylan slid on his goggles and kept going. He heard the rockets began to echo through the hills; Dylan looked up to seeing where it was coming from.
Now out of sight, he tells Miki he will contact her if he runs or sees anything.

Deren’s ship emerged out of the dark sky heading towards Dylan; he didn’t recognize it until it got closer down. Dylan was happy when he realized it was Deren’s ship, he waved hoping they would see him. “Hey, down here!” He yelled. The ship stopped about 7 feet from the ground, the bottom hatch opened up in the back and Deren with a few other soldiers hopped out armed with plasma blasters.

Deren glared at Dylan, his usual brown eyes were now a semi glowing black. Dylan glad to see them walked over.

"Hey guys, what uh happened to that guy from earlier, Zach?" He asked.

Without an answer Deren aimed his weapon with a grunt, the other soldiers did the same looking even angrier.

"Um...what’s this, another joke, I’m not falling for it..." He noticed the look in his eyes and that unnatural glow, feeling uneasy he stopped, something was up but he didn’t know what.















Chapter 2: Imposters




“You’re not Deren…”

The infected Deren put his hand on the trigger with a devilish smile. “Heh, nope”

Deren fired at him. The shot was going right for his chest, to Dylan it didn’t seem like he had enough time to get out the way so as he tried to protect himself from the impact, but all of sudden in Dylan eyes the shot slowed down. His eyes changed from dark blue to light green with black strips, everything was moving slowly but him, like time itself had froze. He was still freaked out about that but still aware of the situation he used the time he had to step out the way of the blast.

Right after he avoided the path of it his eyes changed back, along with everything around him going back to normal, and he was left clueless as to how he dodged that as fast as it was going.

"How did I do that?” He looked at his hands; he saw nothing appeared abnormal at all.

He didn't have time to think about it anymore, he turned around facing the others taking out some of his pulse grenades from his pockets. Phil designed the grenades himself, they will only explode if the user wants them using his/her thoughts, but you need to wear special gloves that link them together. For easier ways to carry them they can shrink to smaller sizes and grow to normal size when in contact with the gloves.


He took out the grenades, 3 in between each finger at his left hand. "Ok that’s IT!!" He readied his battle position; then he turned around and ran to his board dashing off yelling "SUCKERS!" With his other hand he grabbed his walkie talkie trying to communicate with Aaron and Miki.

"Guys come in ...there is something wrong with Deren and the others. They started attacking me; I'm heading back to the city I’m not to far away so open the gates, over." Dylan said hoping for an answer.


“Ok it will be open when you get here!” Miki said “Over”
Aaron was hearing the whole conversation on his W.T, while he was still getting ready in his room.

"Oli Oli oooooooh." Aaron voice was filled with static on the other receivers.

Miki: Huh??

Aaron: Sorry I was watching something that made me want to say that.

Miki: Aaron, something is wrong with Deren he is attacking Dylan.

It was quite for a second until a loud crash came from Aaron’s side of the walkie talkie. "Ow, hey wait he is doing what?"

Running could be heard from Aaron's side of the receiver. Then the sound of sliding against a wooden floor, followed by another crash. "I'm okay…thanks for asking!" Aaron sarcastically said. "I'm heading to the gates now"

Deren and the others were closing in plasma firing everywhere; Deren sped up and came right beside him, and Dylan caught eyes with him. Something next came to Dylan’s mind; he was convinced that something might have been controlling Deren or something along those lines.
He came up with an idea; if that was Deren maybe he could convince him to come to his senses, wherever they went. “Deren come on, it’s me your best friend” Dylan said calmly “Think of all the good times we‘ve had” Deren draws back his fist. Dylan flinches trying to think of something else. “Ah I mean the real good times!”

Deren’s eyes turned to his regular brown, frozen in place. He slowly kept blinking his eye’s looking where he was. Relieved thinking Deren was fine now Dylan lets his guard down. “Glad to know your ba-“
Deren back handed Dylan off his board. The board flew a few feet away from him as Dylan bounced on the ground from impact. The soldiers surrounded him ready to shoot, with Deren in front back to his violent self from earlier. Dylan stood up hands in the air, upset. “Well this went well…” He said sighing.


At a nearby cliff an Asian girl had been watching Dylan the whole time, hat covering her face she jumped off the edge sliding down the curves she threw smoke bombs covering up Dylan from the soldiers. The soldiers started coughing trying to see through the smoke.
She was about the same height of Dylan with black short hair that came down barely touching her shoulders, a pirate looking hat on with a cloak, worn out shirt and pants underneath with boots.
She ran into the smoke grabbing Dylan.

“Come on!” She yelled. They came dashing out the smoke to right on to the hover board.


The girl looked back and saw the smoke clearing; and soldiers came flying out along now with the ship following them, they were right on Dylan and the girl’s tail.
Dylan tried to think of something quick they were getting closer to the gates, he had already gotten in enough trouble this week, especially with Phil. If he were to have these guys get into the city the way their acting now things were only gonna get worse.
Finally and idea came to mind. Dylan tried to speak over the sounds of the vehicles and blasts.
“Ok on the count of three you move to the front of the board ok?”

The Asian girl wasn’t too sure of what Dylan was doing, but because of their situation she had to follow. “Ok.”

He grabbed three grenades and grabbed his walkie talkie to tell the others his plan.

“Ok Miki here we come get ready for the impact...1….2……3.” Right on three Dylan jumped in the air to the side of the board the girl moved to the front taking control of the board and in the air Dylan threw his grenades at the ship’s wings so he wouldn’t hurt the pilots…too much, the force from it knocked the soldiers, Deren, Dylan and the girl inside the gates but it wasn’t a soft landing. The pilots, before the crash, took off in the extra hover bikes, right after getting the command to do so from Omega via communicators.

The cruiser smashed into a building, exploding into a million pieces, but fortunately those aboard did not suffer any serious injuries.

"I have but one question in my mind now dude." The girl pulled Dylan out of the crash and held him straight in the air, "Is jumping off the board and dumping grenades a sane action, or just stupid?"

'Dylan laughed heartily and placed his hands into his pockets, his nose high up in the air, "Because I'm cool.” He walked towards Deren to help him up, but a few steps later a sound 'Thump' was heard and there he was, flat on the ground and eating dirt.

"Whatever you say, pretty boy, whatever you say." Trying hard not to laugh, she managed to regain her composure before lifting the groaning Dylan back to his feet. He looked down at what he tripped over. “Stupid rock!” He said to himself.

Everyone else landed inside the city crashing everywhere, with Miki and the guards jumping out the way. Miki ran over to the unconscious Deren worried as ever she bent down at Deren holding his head up making sure he was ok, to what she could tell he was breathing fine and there were no signs of any real bad injuries, at least non he hasn’t gotten before…which was a lot.


"We should take them to the observatory to see why they attacked you." Miki said. “I hope my brother will be okay.”


On the right side of them was a little restaurant that the guards were just coming out of. It was named “Joe’s BBQ and Pancakes.”

The first guard came out holding his stomach it was rumbling so loud even Dylan and the others heard it. “Man, that chilly dog is really messing with me!”


The other guard had his arm over him trying to get him out and over to the gate. “I’ll give you some Pepto Bismal and you’ll be fine just like that man, were almost ther-” They looked up with their eyes wide open at the mess they came to see. “Whoa!” They both said.

“What…what happened here, I just cleaned this place up” The first guard, almost couldn’t believe what he was seeing.
The second guard slapped his forehead. “Dude that was me, you were inside playing videogames and eating chili dogs.”

Guard 1 looked surprised at first swearing he did it but then he finally remembered. “Oh” he said that after he burped. Clearly that was a sign of the chili dogs.

Miki ran over to them. “Guards I need you to go get some transports to get these guys over to Phil’s lab pronto"

“Will do!” The first guard said ran off heading for the garage.

 

[Haku]

Quite late but I've really seen a great deal of improvement from your previous ones.

 

[Maverick E.S]

Yeah sorry about that it took me a bit to think of how to rewrite it but the posts will be faster now and soon i will be able to work on my next story ^_^

 

[Maverick E.S]

I've been givin this alot of thought and well after this story is finished im going to publish it...do you guys think it's publishing material?

 

[Xuan]

I... don't really understand with the 'publishing' idea. You mean publishing it where? What?

 

[Maverick E.S]

Getting it published period like how other regular books are sold in stores mine would be the same thing, im seeing if the book is good enough to be sold in stores aka published

 

[Ban Mido]

Beta Reader Feedback: Virus

Any thoughts I have on the story I have already stated. Good work.

 

[Xuan]

Re: Beta Reader Feedback: Virus

If you think you can do it, why not? Go for it!

 

[Maverick E.S]

*reads* alright sweet, Im glad to know the story is good, now i have to worry if people will see it or not

 

[Maverick E.S]

Here is a preview of what to expect in the last chapter of Virus

Omega’s communicator starting beeping just when he was beginning to have fun he looked down at it thinking. He looked back up with a new idea, since the communicator went off, it meant he was out of time and he still had not found what he was looking for, but he had suspected who could lead him to what he has to find. “A pitty, I have to leave you all but I shall take a souvenir to remember our fun battle.” He shot a portal over towards Dylan, he quickly jumped out the way, Aaron, Karlis and Mei were near Andrew and Nick was next to Dylan now.

Omega caught eyes with Andrew, smiling at him in victory and then vanished once more the very second Andrew’s blade was about to hit him. Andrew was furious at him, he yelled at the sky



The portal had grown in size and began sucking everything into it, Dylan had grabbed on to a street pole and Nick was behind a car. Everything it sucked into it made it grow more, and from the battle there was plenty debris left around. Dylan hands were slipping, the car Nick was behind started to slide back without him knowing.

Nick tried to keep Dylan holding on; he tried to encourage him to keep his grip. “Dylan hold on we’ll think of something!”

Dylan hands were aching now, he put his head down aligning with his chest to help a little bit but it wasn’t too much. The car Nick was behind slid back to the edge of the side walk, and the pressure of the side walk and the portal on the car pulled it off and it flipped over going right through it, Nick fell back and flew back. Dylan threw out part of his R.G.C with his one hand for Nick to grab before he got sucked in, he was ankle deep into the portal now and Dylan’s slip was getting weaker by the second. “You really need to hold on!” Nick pleaded.

The others couldn’t get to them because of all the viruses they were fighting off, the slightest let down of their guard and they were toast. Dylan was sweating like crazy, he couldn’t hold on no more the weight was killing him. “I got no more grip!” His hand slipped right off, they flew in and the portal disappeared.


Andrew,Zach,Mei, Aaron and Karlis are left on the battlefield fighting Viruses, Miki, Deren and Phil are doing the same and now Dylan and Nick are sucked into a portal that leads to where DUN DUN DUUUUUUN *SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT* lol I'll tell you the spoiler when its posted in story format HA!!!

 

[Maverick E.S]

Guess I shouldve written more o.o

 

[Maverick E.S]

Omega’s communicator starting beeping just when he was beginning to have fun he looked down at it thinking. He looked back up with a new idea, since the communicator went off, it meant he was out of time and he still had not found what he was looking for, but he had suspected who could lead him to what he has to find. “A pitty, I have to leave you all but I shall take a souvenir to remember our fun battle.” He shot a portal over towards Dylan, he quickly jumped out the way, Aaron, Karlis and Mei were near Andrew and Nick was next to Dylan now.

Omega caught eyes with Andrew, smiling at him in victory and then vanished once more the very second Andrew’s blade was about to hit him. Andrew was furious at him, he yelled at the sky trying to get his attention back to them.



The portal had grown in size and began sucking everything into it, Dylan had grabbed on to a street pole and Nick was behind a car. Everything it sucked into it made it grow more, and from the battle there was plenty debris left around. Dylan hands were slipping, the car Nick was behind started to slide back without him knowing.

Nick tried to keep Dylan holding on; he tried to encourage him to keep his grip. “Dylan hold on we’ll think of something!”

Dylan hands were aching now, he put his head down aligning with his chest to help a little bit but it wasn’t too much. The car Nick was behind slid back to the edge of the side walk, and the pressure of the side walk and the portal on the car pulled it off and it flipped over going right through it, Nick fell back and flew back. Dylan threw out part of his R.G.C with his one hand for Nick to grab before he got sucked in, he was ankle deep into the portal now and Dylan’s slip was getting weaker by the second. “You really need to hold on!” Nick pleaded.

The others couldn’t get to them because of all the viruses they were fighting off, the slightest let down of their guard and they were toast. Dylan was sweating like crazy, he couldn’t hold on no more the weight was killing him. “I got no more grip!” His hand slipped right off and they flew in and the portal disappeared.
The others had finally taken down most of the enemies by the time they noticed something wrong, they couldn’t see Dylan or Nick anywhere.





Chapter 20: Separation



Aaron laughed manically walking back. “So sorry but I’m due else where!” His appearance reverted back to the virus form, it was Kratz. He next vanished the same way as Omega about to join him on the commander ship, where he was waiting for Dylan to be teleported there.

Zach limped back to the others, exhausted. The ship was coming down to them as once more viruses began to come from all directions. Andrew waved over to him, “Zach hurry up we got to get out of here!” He had lost his weapons and was completely vulnerable for the virus in him to finally take over. He stopped where he was, holding his chest and fell to his knees. The lines on the sides of his forehead started to glow and he was losing consciousness. Zach struggled to control himself. “No…not now!” The others got into the ship, UN knowing of Zach, they were planning on going to scout for him in the shuttle. But Andrew dashed off into the virus crowd blasting down each one in his path trying to reach him; he was not going to let him down.


Andrew got over to the building where he fell noticing the glowing marks on Zach’s head. He kneeled down to him about to pick him up. “Zach, you’ll be ok we just got to get you out of here.” The top of his body rose up aligning with Andrew but when he did that Andrew had jumped back to his feet; Zach lost control of his body. The virus had both his eyes completely black looking zombie-ish. Andrew closed his eyes not hesitating to shoot, he blasted right through his chest and the virus popped out on the other side and vanished. Zach was unconscious; Andrew picked him up and ran back to the shuttle before the place was too overturned. Brad sat in the back while Mei held open the door for Andrew and Zach. “Come on hurry!”

He jumped over chairs, stands and rumble but finally made it over in time, Mei quickly grabbed Zach and Andrew hoped in right after. Right after hearing the door close he stormed up and out into the sky barely getting away. Mei laid Zach down near Brad and Andrew let out a sigh of relief as he sat down exhausted, Mei sat down near him and relaxed a bit, but the thoughts went past her head constantly as to where Nick and Dylan went, the scouted the whole area from the sky but didn’t see anything, nothing but viruses storming into the city destroying it, there were still people down there trying to get away but just ended up being victims. Some tried to fight while others ran away but no one would make it, they took them out like bugs… but something weird was happening to them. After the viruses entered each of their bodies the people changed forms instantly, the screaming slowly began to end and not to much longer after each and every one of them were infected. The once human bodies that walked the city grew into twisted part virus part human nightmares.

Mei turned her head away from the window and sat back down, it was too much for her. The city had been lost and Dylan and Nick are missing.

 

[Maverick E.S]

Well no one commented on this so i guess no one read it lol so here is the continuation since that one was short:

Mei turned her head away from the window and sat back down; the sight was too much to bare. The city had been lost and Dylan and Nick are missing. It became quite in the shuttle, everyone just seemed let down by everything that has been going on.

Heading out the city Karlis spoke up. “So uh, where are we heading?”
Mei was almost speechless at the time; no one else looked like they were even thinking of anything. She got up and sat in the seat next to Karlis “Let’s go back to Dylan’s town.” She directed the way from where she remembered how to get down there.

The portal where Dylan and Nick got sucked into re opened on top of an air cruiser battle ship miles long. They had landed on the commander ship, commanded by Omega himself. On the deck on it the came flying out landing a few feet in front of Kratz still inhabiting Aarons body.

“Our portals are pretty rough and slower than I thought” He walked up closer with his hands above the two as they were getting up, from the aftermath from the portal they didn’t even hear Kratz. He concentrated his energy and blasted energy mass nets on them so they couldn’t get away so he could control the movement; it stunned them knocking them out as a side effect. Planning on levitating them the rest of the way Kratz was still un aware of why Omega wanted Dylan, until he noticed the marks on his neck. It had finally dawned on him, it was Lyndan but the body wasn’t his he thought, but they looked just alike. “I bet Omega knows about why they look alike.” He hurried inside the ship where Omega waiting for Kratz to retrieve him, Kratz was very eager to find out.

He walked over to the topside opening that led him to Omega’s quarters. Opening the door and walked down-ward a ramp of a dark hallway, he could tell he was getting close when he heard the echoes of Omega talking to someone. Kratz spoke up to aware him “Omega I got the prisoner, along with a extra!”

Omega didn’t respond but Kratz continued, he reached the end of the hallway and came into the doorway into Omega’s quarters. It was half the size of a warehouse with two side stair cases, 8 steps each and nothing else was even in the room but a desk at the other side. Omega turned around away from the holograph on the desk in front of Omega, Jin young was talking to Omega through it. Omega laughed again in triumph, “This is the one Jin, the one who is some how linked with Lyndan, it could actually be Lyndan himself as a matter of fact.”

The hologram of Jin looked carefully at the unconscious Dylan and then he too noticed the marks on his neck. He turned over to Omega with a plan. “Omega, test it out and see if it is.”

Omega nodded reaching his hand out at Dylan with his hand flat facing him. The marks on him glowed green, Dylan’s eyes opened but Lyndan spoke. “You guys just can’t leave me alone can you!” Lyndan struggled to get out but the lock on the concentrated energy tightened around his body electrocuting him. Lyndan’s yelling woke up Nick, he looked at his surroundings and he didn’t like one bit of it. His first sight was Dylan yelling in pain he bursted out yelling to free him. “Let him go!”

Kratz wrapped his hand around Nick’s neck as a warning. “Your turn is coming up!”

The electricity stopped, Dylan’s marks ceased to glow and Lyndan powers were disabled. Dylan head fell down he wasn’t knocked out but he was exhausted. “That’s definantly Lyndan, take care of him however you want, when execution W-C comes I’ll contact you again.” The holograph disappeared with the orders Omega and Kratz have been dying to hear.

 

[Maverick E.S]

Im in a writers contest so the next post might not be as soon as these were but thats all really, Also I'd like to say I wont be here on either june 1, or 6 ill be going up to vegas with some friends for about a month in a half but Virus might be done by then either that or 98 percent done and thats a promise lol

 

[giuocob]

Finally found this! Here's my ladder;

I. Grammar/Mechanics
II. Plot Structure and Depth
III. Vocabulary/Higher Mechanics/Description/Literary Devices
IV: Character Construction and Depth
V: Integration and Mastery

I. Your grammar's pretty good. You're a bit sparing with your commas, though, there's a lot of places you should have a comma but don't. Quite a few typos, too. But it's alright.

II. Plot looks great, but I can't tell for sure without reading all of it, and I don't have time for that. It does look sort of linear, though. These sorts of novels usually have multiple plot lines to make it more interesting. Just think about that for whatever you want to write next.

III. You start to deteriorate here. Your mastery of the English vocabulary is limited; I surmised this right after I saw the word 'zombie-ish'. You can't just do that. Your description is also extremely limited. Here's an exercise for you: write out your next chapter as you normally would, then write it again, making it TWICE as long.

IV: This is where it falls apart. Your characters are just bland. Figure out how a character feels in a given scene, and make it shine through in your writing. This often comes right along with improving description, so work on that first.

V. I won't go here.

On the beta reading thread, you said you were planning on publishing this. I'll be candid here: it isn't publishable. You've got a lot of work to do before you think about making money off of writing. Listen to the advice of other people, but more than that, read books and figure out for yourself how great writing is done. Make sure that writing is what you really love, because getting your skills up to a competent level takes a LOT of work.

Good luck!

 

[Maverick E.S]

Thanks alot this is really gonna help, I wasnt planning on publishing it soon i just wanted to finish the writing and then have critique on what im lacking and then fix it up thheen once everything is good i would publish it but yeah there are multiple plots but none are revealed in that part.