Help/Support ► The LGBT Help and Support Thread (v3)

[Naryx15]

I came out to a few people this week and told them I was bi. They didn't really care. It's such a huge relief because I totally thought everything would go wrong.

And to my surprise, I just found out that the guy I like is bi, too.

 

[Rich]

Not only is fear an issue, but logic.

If your parents are supporting you while you're in school, but would pull that support if you told them you're gay, the logical thing to do would be to stay in the closet until you finish school.

 

[Audo]

Excuses are a nice thing to have.

 

[Rich]

If you call common sense and rationality "excuses," ok then.

 

[Audo]

Even the truth can be considered an excuse.
I'm not judging, I'm just saying. Excuses, they're nice.

 

[frisson]

And flaunting your sexuality is so much less repugnant.

 

[Ren]

Uhh. I don't post much. Or ever. But today I came out to probably one of the best friends I'll ever have and she still treated me the same and kept on holding my hand.

Also, I need to address a point that Kris brought up. Being in the closet=/=being a scared, worthless shit.

Sometimes it's just easier to keep quiet--there's no point in starting what could possibly be a riot if you know you'd benefit more from pretending you're not bi or gay (as Rich brought up). Sometimes people just don't feel comfortable talking about it. And sometimes people are just too afraid to tell people that, damn, they like the same sex!

And there's nothing wrong with that. Being afraid of oppression and prejudice is nothing new to society. People are made fun of and bullied for their nationality, religion, status, and--gasp!--orientation. No one wants to be made fun of. Just because some people might live in an understanding and accepting community, it doesn't give them the right to point at others and tell them suck it up and stop "living in a constant fear" just because they haven't had to deal with being rejected.

And sometimes, people decide that it's personally not a battle worth fighting. And that's fine. They don't deserve to be looked upon because they come out of the closet, so they shouldn't be scorned when they don't.

/talks too much. Someone else could've said that in half as many words but I'm not that skilled.

 

[Audo]

I realize what i said was harsh, bitchy, judging, among other things.
And I am sorry, in a way.

Believe it or not, there was more to what i was trying to say beyond telling people to "suck it up", which seems to be what the majority of you took my message to mean.

It wasn't supposed to come off that way, even though I can see how it could what with how outrightish i was saying it.

I would go into explaining what I really meant, but honestly, I can't say that I really care what you people think of me at this point. So, trying to explain myself would only be wasted breath. But, I apologize regardless if you managed to get offended by it, in some way.

 

[Raz]

Uhh. I don't post much. Or ever. But today I came out to probably one of the best friends I'll ever have and she still treated me the same and kept on holding my hand.

Also, I need to address a point that Kris brought up. Being in the closet=/=being a scared, worthless shit.

Sometimes it's just easier to keep quiet--there's no point in starting what could possibly be a riot if you know you'd benefit more from pretending you're not bi or gay (as Rich brought up). Sometimes people just don't feel comfortable talking about it. And sometimes people are just too afraid to tell people that, damn, they like the same sex!

And there's nothing wrong with that. Being afraid of oppression and prejudice is nothing new to society. People are made fun of and bullied for their nationality, religion, status, and--gasp!--orientation. No one wants to be made fun of. Just because some people might live in an understanding and accepting community, it doesn't give them the right to point at others and tell them suck it up and stop "living in a constant fear" just because they haven't had to deal with being rejected.

And sometimes, people decide that it's personally not a battle worth fighting. And that's fine. They don't deserve to be looked upon because they come out of the closet, so they shouldn't be scorned when they don't.

/talks too much. Someone else could've said that in half as many words but I'm not that skilled.

That's all I wanted to say and then some.
Putting up with people's shit is already hard enough, handing them my orientation would be just plain stupid.

 

[Ren]

I realize what i said was harsh, bitchy, judging, among other things.
And I am sorry, in a way.

Believe it or not, there was more to what i was trying to say beyond telling people to "suck it up", which seems to be what the majority of you took my message to mean.

It wasn't supposed to come off that way, even though I can see how it could what with how outrightish i was saying it.

I would go into explaining what I really meant, but honestly, I can't say that I really care what you people think of me at this point. So, trying to explain myself would only be wasted breath. But, I apologize regardless if you managed to get offended by it, in some way.

I'm offended, but I won't hold it against you. I don't think that's something someone says out of malice.

It's just really easy to take for granted what you have, and you run the risk of offending many people. Not everyone is as lucky or strong-willed as you might think they should be. It's really okay to be weak.

Anyway, the whole reason why this thread exists is because society gives people like us problems, so telling us to pretty much just "go figure it out, it's easy" is like throwing a cold bucket of water over our heads and telling all of these discussions to screw themselves.

 

[Marly]

Honestly, don't even be fooled by his apology.

kris. says:
what i posted wasnt any better than the other messages i posted
Marly says:
You apologized
kris. says:
i didnt mean it.
Marly says:
That's a step up
So you still don't realize what you said was harsh?
kris. says:
im well aware that it was harsh
which i said in the beginning of this conversation
i'm just not sorry for having said it.

 

[Audo]

I'm offended, but I won't hold it against you.

Maybe you should.

Case-in-point:

Honestly, don't even be fooled by his apology.

 

[Ren]

Mark, please don't try to start shit. That's not what this thread is for. Keep it to yourself.

And Kris, I won't hold it against you because I think we all knew what you meant. Yes, it's okay to be weak, but there IS a certain extent to where it's foolish for some people. Some people end up being driving into terror even though, rationally, the people around them are the type of people who don't give a shit whether or not they'd do guys or girls. I think most people were offended by how you made a very harsh generalization about all types of gays/bis.

 

[Marly]

You're right Ren. But I'm just saying, in case anyone could have possibly be placated by his apology, they shouldn't be if he didn't mean it.

 

[Ren]

You've got a point. I just don't like how hostile this whole thread seems.

Today I met a bisexual who knew everyone high schooler in the city and slept with a football team's captain (among others). I was kind of impressed because a lot of people were straight but gay JUST for him (and some lesbians who were straight for him). It was interesting.

I love your avvy, Mark. ;;
<3 Alice.

 

[Raz]

He sounds kind of slutty.

 

[stephaknee]

I neither hide nor flaunt my sexuality. I hang out with the same 3 people, who all know a lot about me, and I don't really feel the need to open up to acquaintances from school. "hi i'm stephanie I also like vagina nice to meet you" seems a little misplaced.

 

[Ren]

He sounds kind of slutty.

I thought so too, at first, but personality-wise he doesn't give off a very...I dunno, whorish vibe. I mean, he's flirtatious but he's definitely not "outwardly" slutty. He's really personable and I guess he just happens to like sex (a lot), haha.

 

[Angel]

So:

I've gone through several ups and downs this weekend.

Me and my crush's best friend are plotting for me and my crush to start going out, and my mood has been undergoing total 180s based on what his twitter says, (but even then, he's known for quite depressing tweets and fb updates :<).

Tomorrow, I'm hoping I can talk to him about it, because according to the best friend, he's been looking for a boyfriend lately, and she's helped stimulate his search hoping that he'll realize it's me.

tl;dr: love bites

 

[Angel]

we need to post moar :<

I came clean about my feelings yesterday.

Essentially, he said no (after about 8 hours of making me think there would be no response).

We talked it over though. I ended up wondering whether something about me was the reason he said no, or because he was after someone else.