hey sorry i was gonna reply this mornin when i was the post but i got kicked off da internet . . .but go ahead and post
Fanfiction ► Life's Struggle..
- Thread starter Ziphiroth
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as i promised (when did i promise??? 
) great, Zi (can i call you Zi lol), write more soon!!
) great, Zi (can i call you Zi lol), write more soon!!
- Joined
- Apr 21, 2005
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- 35
This has to be THE WORST fanfic I have ever read. It's so horrible it's annoying, but not so bad that it's funny. It's just swill. The whole thing is just Ziphiroth *Crappy name, BTW* self promoting.
Please, take a keyblade and cut off your fingers so no-one is ever again subjected to the horror of your attempts at writing.
Please, take a keyblade and cut off your fingers so no-one is ever again subjected to the horror of your attempts at writing.
((... Zetsumi.. not true.. im starting up with another char.. Lilli is the second main char.. and shes the basis of this next one..
and BTW.. dont try.. your not the guy from american idol.. so stop sounding like him..)) NEW CHAP IN A BIT... if no one posts.. ill put it as ((bump//newchap..))
BTW... NO! only Lilli can call me Zi... lol
and BTW.. dont try.. your not the guy from american idol.. so stop sounding like him..)) NEW CHAP IN A BIT... if no one posts.. ill put it as ((bump//newchap..))
BTW... NO! only Lilli can call me Zi... lol
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((NEW CHAP!!!!))
Chapter 7: Lilli's Dispair...
The camera swooned in on Lilli. The poor girl. She awoke in a world that consisted of only a church. It was large with giant stone doors, and clouds all around where water should be. She began walking towards the big castle sized building and shoved open the big stone doors with a heeve.
As she stepped into the big building she looked up then around. She seen a few pues and a stone girl statue, chained to the walls. She walked up to it seeing an inscription. "Jenova... Mother of this world, and the end..." she read. Lilli looked down a bit further on the inscription and seen more. "Mother to Sephiroth, Ziphiroth, and Fearo." she was taken aback as she read these words aloud. She almost fell backwards when a girl cought her. A small, mouse-like, girl who squeeked "Hi.." shyly.
Lilli looked at the scruffy girl who looked like she should be in a dump and said "Hi.. I'm Lilli.. Who are you?" and te boy replied quickly "Sakurai.." She looked up at Lilli with her nearly naked self. She wore only a small coat, a sports bra tht only had one strap, and a short skirt, with some boots. Sakurai knew how to fight. she had what seemed to be, spiked knuckles, on her left hand and a small blade sheethed on her back.
Lilli looked at her and wonderd a bit of what would happen if Zi saw her. He would forget about me like a bad habit. Lilli thought as she asked the girl "Have you seen a boy with one white wing and one black wing?" and Sakurai said "You know him?" Lilli replied "Yeah.. can you bring me to him?" and Sakurai said "Come this way!" as she ran slowly towards a set of stairs.
((i need to go.. ill edit this later.. and add more lol ttyl..))
Chapter 7: Lilli's Dispair...
The camera swooned in on Lilli. The poor girl. She awoke in a world that consisted of only a church. It was large with giant stone doors, and clouds all around where water should be. She began walking towards the big castle sized building and shoved open the big stone doors with a heeve.
As she stepped into the big building she looked up then around. She seen a few pues and a stone girl statue, chained to the walls. She walked up to it seeing an inscription. "Jenova... Mother of this world, and the end..." she read. Lilli looked down a bit further on the inscription and seen more. "Mother to Sephiroth, Ziphiroth, and Fearo." she was taken aback as she read these words aloud. She almost fell backwards when a girl cought her. A small, mouse-like, girl who squeeked "Hi.." shyly.
Lilli looked at the scruffy girl who looked like she should be in a dump and said "Hi.. I'm Lilli.. Who are you?" and te boy replied quickly "Sakurai.." She looked up at Lilli with her nearly naked self. She wore only a small coat, a sports bra tht only had one strap, and a short skirt, with some boots. Sakurai knew how to fight. she had what seemed to be, spiked knuckles, on her left hand and a small blade sheethed on her back.
Lilli looked at her and wonderd a bit of what would happen if Zi saw her. He would forget about me like a bad habit. Lilli thought as she asked the girl "Have you seen a boy with one white wing and one black wing?" and Sakurai said "You know him?" Lilli replied "Yeah.. can you bring me to him?" and Sakurai said "Come this way!" as she ran slowly towards a set of stairs.
((i need to go.. ill edit this later.. and add more
lol ttyl..))
- Joined
- Nov 17, 2005
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- Age
- 31
It's good! Keep it up! And make sure you don't have much mistakes...hehe...no offense.
Zetsumi said:
it's his first fic, man. ease up. you can be a critic but don't be so mean. if that's the only thing you can do then don't type anything at all
i didn't say you suck, and i definitly didn't gave you rep
Zezima, gosh don't spam. Hey Zet I see you commented in this thread, Ziphiroth, is up to you to obey him or not, what's with American Idol lol you thought he commented like Simon? Post up more!
(( YA LIKE SIMON! lol))
Chapter 7 Continued... (from page 3)
---"Have you seen a boy with one white wing and one black wing?" and Sakurai said "You know him?" Lilli replied "Yeah.. can you bring me to him?" and Sakurai said "Come this way!" as she ran slowly towards a set of stairs.---
Lilli followed slowly looking at the tall stone pillars. They came into a large throne room as a man sitting on a large chair,stands up quickly abd says "Welcome, to my home... My name is Lord Fearo!" as he said this she looked at thew wings on his back. They were opposite to Zi's. the Lilli smiles and walked over towards him and said "Excuse me sir.. I don't know what happened. But, I'm lost, and I'm looking for my friend, Ziphiroth," at that name everyone gasped. "What?" she looked around asking. Fearo stood up and said "He-who-must-not-be-named is the DEVIL!" as he slams his giant meaty fist down onto a table.
Fearo walked over to her and unfurrowed his brow saying in her ear "I know him... He is my brother..." as he steps back and sighs "Come with me.." He turns and walks through a small set of doors. Fearo sits behind a small desk and smiles a bit as Lilli enters the room quietly. Fearo says "Have a seat." and she does. "Now.. How do you know my brother?" he asks as he looks at her inquizitvily. Lilli says "Were... Kinda dating." as Fearo gets up and says "No..." as he laughs aand says "That monster with you?" Lilli smiles and nods "Yep.."
End of chapter
Chapter 7 Continued... (from page 3)
---"Have you seen a boy with one white wing and one black wing?" and Sakurai said "You know him?" Lilli replied "Yeah.. can you bring me to him?" and Sakurai said "Come this way!" as she ran slowly towards a set of stairs.---
Lilli followed slowly looking at the tall stone pillars. They came into a large throne room as a man sitting on a large chair,stands up quickly abd says "Welcome, to my home... My name is Lord Fearo!" as he said this she looked at thew wings on his back. They were opposite to Zi's. the Lilli smiles and walked over towards him and said "Excuse me sir.. I don't know what happened. But, I'm lost, and I'm looking for my friend, Ziphiroth," at that name everyone gasped. "What?" she looked around asking. Fearo stood up and said "He-who-must-not-be-named is the DEVIL!" as he slams his giant meaty fist down onto a table.
Fearo walked over to her and unfurrowed his brow saying in her ear "I know him... He is my brother..." as he steps back and sighs "Come with me.." He turns and walks through a small set of doors. Fearo sits behind a small desk and smiles a bit as Lilli enters the room quietly. Fearo says "Have a seat." and she does. "Now.. How do you know my brother?" he asks as he looks at her inquizitvily. Lilli says "Were... Kinda dating." as Fearo gets up and says "No..." as he laughs aand says "That monster with you?" Lilli smiles and nods "Yep.."
End of chapter
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lol, you're making a mystery out of yourself in this story Zi, or shall i call you Satan?
when is the next chapter coming up? i'm dying of age here
i dont mean to be rude but i agree with zetsumi on every level....my suggestion would be to practice writing more and then come back and try this againZetsumi said:
you can be a critic, but that doesn't give you the right to flame him
great i don't wanna spam here so i just say.......make it better and better Ziphiroth! So you can make us curious lol
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