Fanfiction ► Kingdom Hearts: Reborn from the Darkness (ORIGINAL) [Rewrite is currently at prologue part 1]
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Re: Kingdom Hearts: Reborn from the Darkness (Contains BBS and Days spoilers)
Wow! This is a really good story! I love how you give Kairi some time in the spotlight and make her fight for herself (curse you Nomura for your damsel in distresses!). Anyways, I read through the whole thing and I'm very impressed. This is probably one of the best fanfics I've seen on KHI. I don't really have any constructive criticism for you, though, since there isn't really anything to improve. Here are my scores, by the way:
Spelling/Punctuation: 10/10
Grammar:10/10
Character Development: 9/10
Plot:9/10
Interest Keeping(meaning whether or not the story catches your eye and makes you want to read it in one sitting): 9/10
Overall: 9.5/10
By the way, have you checked out any BBS or KH3/Reconnect fanfics on Fanfiction.net? I am writing a fanfic for KH3/Reconnect as of now on there. It's called Kingdom Hearts 3:Reconnect(yeah, I'm so original, I know). I also wrote two BBS fanfics on there called Kingdom Hearts:Birth by Sleep Zero and Kingdom Hearts:Birth by Sleep
estiny's Recall. I was making them while waiting for the Japanese version of BBS was being made, you know, as a way to fend off KH starvation, so I know what it's like to be a fanfiction writer; lol, it can be a tough life. I'm glad that you made it this far, though. I didn't finish either of mine.
There are a few pretty good KH3 fanfics on there(mixed with many HORRIBLE ones), so you should try checking them out. And BTW, keep writing this story. It's really...REALLY good!
Wow! This is a really good story! I love how you give Kairi some time in the spotlight and make her fight for herself (curse you Nomura for your damsel in distresses!). Anyways, I read through the whole thing and I'm very impressed. This is probably one of the best fanfics I've seen on KHI. I don't really have any constructive criticism for you, though, since there isn't really anything to improve. Here are my scores, by the way:
Spelling/Punctuation: 10/10
Grammar:10/10
Character Development: 9/10
Plot:9/10
Interest Keeping(meaning whether or not the story catches your eye and makes you want to read it in one sitting): 9/10
Overall: 9.5/10
By the way, have you checked out any BBS or KH3/Reconnect fanfics on Fanfiction.net? I am writing a fanfic for KH3/Reconnect as of now on there. It's called Kingdom Hearts 3:Reconnect(yeah, I'm so original, I know). I also wrote two BBS fanfics on there called Kingdom Hearts:Birth by Sleep Zero and Kingdom Hearts:Birth by Sleep
estiny's Recall. I was making them while waiting for the Japanese version of BBS was being made, you know, as a way to fend off KH starvation, so I know what it's like to be a fanfiction writer; lol, it can be a tough life. I'm glad that you made it this far, though. I didn't finish either of mine. There are a few pretty good KH3 fanfics on there(mixed with many HORRIBLE ones), so you should try checking them out. And BTW, keep writing this story. It's really...REALLY good!
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Re: Kingdom Hearts: Reborn from the Darkness (Contains BBS and Days spoilers)
I hope Chapter 3 is about at clitching then the others. And I'll be sure to review and look through this. And I'll try my best to look past this whole......ice cream deal too.
I hope Chapter 3 is about at clitching then the others. And I'll be sure to review and look through this. And I'll try my best to look past this whole......ice cream deal too.
- Joined
- Apr 27, 2010
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- 169
Re: Kingdom Hearts: Reborn from the Darkness (Contains BBS and Days spoilers)
For how long it is taking me, I would like to apologize. I recently went on a trip somewhere and just got back. First part of Chapter 3 is almost finished, then I'm going to immediately get on the next part. I plan to have both done by the end of June 19. It's the weekend now and I'm finally able to get this really going. I have the stories of the first two worlds planned already, the first one is going to be in Chapter 3. When I get some rest, I'll finish and post part 1.
For how long it is taking me, I would like to apologize. I recently went on a trip somewhere and just got back. First part of Chapter 3 is almost finished, then I'm going to immediately get on the next part. I plan to have both done by the end of June 19. It's the weekend now and I'm finally able to get this really going. I have the stories of the first two worlds planned already, the first one is going to be in Chapter 3. When I get some rest, I'll finish and post part 1.
Spoiler Show
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Re: Kingdom Hearts: Reborn from the Darkness (Contains BBS and Days spoilers)
I just finished the first chaper, and this is really good. Most fanfics I have read don't really catch my attention. I shall be reading the rest of these before I go to bed tonight.
I just finished the first chaper, and this is really good. Most fanfics I have read don't really catch my attention. I shall be reading the rest of these before I go to bed tonight.
- Joined
- Apr 27, 2010
- Messages
- 169
Re: Kingdom Hearts: Reborn from the Darkness (Contains BBS and Days spoilers)
((This next chapter is the very first world that the Keybearers visit. It's Prydain from The Black Cauldron.
I made sure to include everything that was in the Sneak Preview, but due to unforeseen circumstances I was not able to finish part 2 of Chapter 3. My parents had called me early in the morning and said they were coming over to my place for my mother's birthday celebration, so I had to prepare my house for their arrival. They stayed for most of the day then left, so I was only able to finish part 1.
Two things that in my opinion make this part really interesting:
1. I decided to add some suspense to the end of this part. Sora's visit to Prydain doesn't finish here, but most of it is shown here and he DOES visit the world. Ienzo makes an appearance, and has an ellaborate plan to complete the mission Xehanort gives him...
s1ruckysta
Zexion fans will probably enjoy the end of this part.
2. Aqua fights Ansem's Heartless when it appears to her as she promised Ansem the Wise, and it's actually my interpretation of how he would actually fight, what his Heartless would be like, as well as what powers it would use if he were ever to become a Heartless. DiZ fans might really enjoy the combat action in this part.
Granted, I'm not having some of these events that are intended to be "crowning moments of awesome" for the two characters because of fanservice (It might seem like it, but it's really part of the story and not meant as fanservice), but because I had already planned them as part of my fanfic.
Also, starting from here on, for select passages that entail major fights in the fanfic I will have links to music that is on Youtube for readers to enjoy the highlighted passages with that link to them, should they so choose. It will open in a separate window))
CHAPTER 3 (Part 1): The Wonderful World of Prydain
Sora, Donald, and Goofy decided that they wouldn't revisit Yen Sid's tower or Radiant Garden for a while, but rather chose to start right on their journey. In their Gummi ship, they were headed for the closest world on the radar.
Just then, a certain cricket had appeared. He wore a black tuxedo jacket, with brown pants and a top hat. He carried two things in his possession: an umbrella and a journal.
"Hey Sora, did you forget about my journal this whole time?" he asked.
"Oh yeah, we should write down what happened in Radiant Garden, and about everything else that happened!" Sora remembered.
Jiminy Cricket began to write in his journal. He made two entries: The Journey's Start and Radiant Garden. As Sora explained what happened recently, the cricket began to write.
Under The Journey's Start, he wrote:
"Sora had received a letter from King Mickey that Kairi had found, telling him of three individuals who were suffering that he needed to go rescue. The Keybearer had a dream in which he had spoken with Roxas face to face and his powers had changed.
As Donald and Goofy appeared with the Gummi ship, a terrible pain had briefly occurred in everyone's heads! Sora got into the ship to travel to the next world, but Kairi jumped on the nose, begging him not to leave her on Destiny Islands. It took Riku and a barrel roll over the ocean to safely shake Kairi off, then Sora made Riku promise that he'd look after her. The Keybearer departed for Yen Sid's tower.
At the tower, Sora had fought Heartless and Nobodies, learning how to use his new powers as he battled them. Soon, the trio were in Yen Sid's study, and he handed a letter from King Mickey to Sora that explained what was happening around the worlds. Master Yen Sid then gave Sora the power of D-Link, and the Keybearer departed for Radiant Garden to meet up with the Restoration Committee.
Then, under the entry titled Radiant Garden, Jiminy Cricket wrote:
"Sora, Donald, and Goofy arrived at Radiant Garden and headed for Merlin's House. It was there that Cid explained the situation of Hollow Bastion being haunted by furniture that attacked anyone who entered, and then three members of a group called the Council of XXV appeared outside.
Sora ran out to confront them, and they revealed themselves to be Ienzo, Arlene, and Dilan, rearrangements of the names Zexion, Larxene, and Xaldin but without the letter 'X.' Arlene had summoned Heartless and Nobodies to attack Hollow Bastion, and Sora rushed off to defend it. He noticed that there was a large group of people gathered outside Merlin's House, but the castle was in danger so Sora would have to check into the commotion later.
At the Great Maw, Sora, Donald, and Goofy made their stand between Hollow Bastion and the advancing enemies. Arlene and Ienzo appeared, summoned over three hundred enemies to battle Sora, then departed for a different world each: Ienzo went to Prydain, and Arlene to the Pirate Seas. In the heat of the battle, Sora discovered two brand new abilities, and one of them made him look almost just like Roxas!"
The second page of the entry continued:
"As the enemies were vanquished thanks to the combined efforts of Sora, Donald, and Goofy, they turned their attention to Hollow Bastion and the apparent 'ghost problem' that was occurring. Sora had discovered an area of the castle he had never before seen, and ended up freeing a Keyblade master named Aqua. As she thanked Sora and departed, the trio headed back to Merlin's House.
It was there that Merlin showed Sora a new training program he and Cid developed, and also familiarized Sora with the two new types of abilities he discovered in his last battle, called 'Command Styles' and 'Shoot Locks.' Merlin then gave Sora an ice cream, called 'Cinnamon Sorbet,' that activated the Frozen Flame Command Style he just previously used. The wizard explained that he partnered with Scrooge McDuck to sell ice cream that ordinary citizens could enjoy, but that Sora could also use once in a while to activate his Command Styles.
Sora had asked the Restoration Committee about Kairi, and they told him she visited with Riku and King Mickey while he was away thwarting the Council's attempt to destroy the castle and removing the recent curse that enveloped it. The Committee explained that Kairi's grandmother had passed away, and that she was headed on her own journey to help restore order to the worlds. Sora at first wanted to find his friend and express his disappointment with her leaving the islands, but Cloud told him of Kairi's newfound prowess in combat. Assured that Mickey and Riku would keep her safe, and that if what Cloud said was indeed true it would mean she would actually be of help to Sora on his journey, the Keybearer decided to immediately head for the next world to start right on the journey to thwart the Council of XXV and save the remaining two who went missing in action."
"Alright Sora, there's the first two chapters of your new journey!" Jiminy put his pen and journal away.
"Sora, there's a world coming up on the radar!" Dale announced over the intercom.
"Scanning… the world is called Prydain! Sora, do you wish to land?" Chip asked.
"Of course we do!" Sora said.
The trio had begun to land their Gummi ship on the second world they would visit on their new journey.
---
Aqua had arrived in Radiant Garden to stock up on supplies and look around more since she didn't really give herself time for that on her last visit. Everything had changed so much, but it was to be expected since 12 long years had passed. She was still having trouble taking it in… Aqua was technically older now than half the citizens she passed by. The first thing she decided to do after her visit here was to go back to Castle Oblivion (formerly the Land of Departure) and check to see if Ventus was still okay. The Keyblade master began preparing herself for the worst…
She didn't have the chance to meet notable officials, so she asked around and found out there was a group in charge of defense and repairs known as the Restoration Committee, whose headquarters were at Merlin's House. As she entered and saw the members, she introduced herself.
"Hello, my name is Aqua. I'm kind of new around here, and…"
"Yen Sid told us about you. Welcome to Radiant Garden." Leon stated.
"Oh, he did? Well, it's been a long since I last visited, and everything has changed… so much!" she told them.
The Committee told Aqua about the first time their home was lost to them, and what happened after they began rebuilding. They all introduced themselves to Aqua. Then Cloud came in and noticed her.
"You're… Aqua! But you haven't aged a bit…?" He was shocked.
"Cloud?!" she was surprised. "You've grown so much…"
"You two know each other?" Cid was puzzled.
"Yes, I knew him back when he trained at Olympus Coliseum! How is everything…?" Aqua asked Cloud.
"Good, except… he's back." A downtrodden look appeared on his face.
"You don't mean…"
"Yeah, it's Sephiroth… I recently came back from fighting him, but he got away. I was this close to avenging… Zack…!" Cloud hit the wall in frustration.
"Cloud… I'm sure he's proud of you right now…" Aqua tried to cheer him up.
"… Well, it's good to have you here with us!" Aerith changed the subject back to greeting Aqua.
"Yeah, now there's THREE of them on a journey! Man, I'd hate to be whoever was causing the kind of trouble that required Sora, Kairi, AND you to stop them!" Yuffie remarked.
"… Kairi?" Aqua was confused. The same Kairi she had met? Then she remembered Kairi touching her Keyblade just before she fought the Unversed that were attacking her. "(Oh no… Aqua, you idiot! You accidentally performed the Inheritance Ceremony! Now she's involved in all this!)"
"Yeah, she really saved the residential area from a major attack by Heartless and Nobodies while Sora was off saving the castle. Both of them were a massive help!" Tifa exclaimed.
Aqua then wondered. "Was a boy named Riku with either of them?"
"Yeah, him and King Mickey were traveling with Kairi." Leon told her.
King Mickey? And the one Terra chose as a successor was now traveling with the one she accidentally had chosen? But then again, Sora was only a toddler when Aqua met him, and she remembered not only how much he had grown, but that he also was now a Keybearer.
Regardless of Aqua not choosing him as a successor, he had gained the ability to wield a Keyblade anyway… maybe Ventus had chosen him as an apprentice? Perhaps it wasn't as bad a situation as she thought, and besides… why shouldn't Kairi be able to help those she cared about? Maybe the Princess and herself were alike, or so the Keyblade master thought.
She actually wanted to meet her and Riku now that Aqua had seen Sora all grown up, and besides… Mickey was with her, and the letter that Aqua received was written by him, so if she were to meet the former student of Master Yen Sid again then Aqua would probably be more up to date on information. His former teacher had also given her information about Mickey, that he graduated from training and was now both a full-fledged Keybearer and the King of Disney Castle.
"So, you have returned to the Realm of Light at last… Master Aqua!"
"Sora and Kairi DID drop by earlier, and the others told us they were quite the nuisance! Not surprising though, seeing as the former ruined one of my most elaborately planned schemes…"
"Man, I was gettin' so tired of pushovers for Keybearers. Now one of those three is back in the game! Dude, this is gonna be fun!"
"… Our Superior, you said it's been 11 years, but she hasn't aged… curious."
"Dammit, not them again!" Cid yelled.
Aqua instantly recognized two of the voices; one of them was of Braig, and the other… was their leader, the man now known as Xehanort. She ran outside to confront the members of the Council of XXV that Yen Sid had briefed her on.
There were four of them this time, with three of them wearing the same armored cloaks with the insignia of the Reborn on the shoulder pads. However, their leader was not wearing any such clothing, but instead had the outfit Aqua last remembered seeing him with, 11 years ago when she had entered the Realm of Darkness after their last battle.
It was just as Aqua had feared; her friend Terra was still possessed by Master Xehanort, and though she heard from Yen Sid about him becoming a Heartless and creating a Nobody, he had also told her that the original had returned. Now, it was as if nothing had changed… was there any hope for her friend? Or would he be gone forever?
He had short and spiky silver hair that stuck up in front, formed an over-comb across the top, and fell down to the sides. Xehanort shared only one similarity with the armor and clothing the other members of the council wore; a shoulder pad of black and gold-colored metal, but unlike the others it didn't have the insignia of the Reborn. He wore a black t-shirt with two red straps forming an "X" across the chest, and a light-brown pants that looked more like a ruffled-skirt. His amber eyes had a sinister look in them, and he simply stared at the Keyblade master as she stood confronting Xehanort and his three fellow Council members.
As for the other three, the man to his direct left had short, dark-gray hair, and a gold mask that looked like night-vision goggles with an air filter below them. Not much else was visible, but a tiny black strap protruded from underneath the mask to his neck.
The one to his far left had a mask that was shaped like multiple jagged rocks protruding from a boulder, and was very muscular. His hair was brown, and was worn in a full over-comb style that was slightly wavy and spiked up in back.
The last one had a golden mask that looked like a golden skull with pink flower petals on several areas of it. It was the only mask out of the group that actually had more than just gold for a color. His spiky hair went down to his shoulders, and also was the same color as the petals on his mask.
"Braig, Aeleus, and Lumaria, behold… Aqua, the Keyblade master from eleven years ago whom I once fought in battle."
Aqua was shocked. He… remembered?! But then that means…
"The dude didn't even need me to remind him after he came back! And man, I'm sure you're PISSED right now… stuck in the Realm of Darkness for 11 years after saving who you thought was your best friend, only for like, practically NOTHING to have changed. Irony dude… gotta love it!" Braig was laughing as Aqua's face had an expression of sadness on it.
"… I suppose this calls for a celebration, right?" Aeleus told Xehanort, but everyone else coldly ignored him except for Xehanort, who simply smirked. "….. My apologies." Aeleus said as he turned again to face Aqua.
She then looked at Xehanort as her expression turned to anger. "Terra, I know you're still in there! Fight him dammit!"
Xehanort laughed, then looked at her. "But Aqua, I'm already in control of myself…"
"The Superior has broken your friend, Keyblade master…" Lumaria said coldly as he then turned to look at him. He was snickering as he looked back at Aqua.
Aqua gasped. "…What…?!" She wouldn't believe it. Terra would never give in to Master Xehanort's control completely. It had to be a trick! Aqua knew he was in there when she last fought him.
"You know only part of my plans, Master Aqua…" he continued explaining, "It is true that I am gathering the Reborn into Kingdom Hearts, and I plan to use them all for a grand purpose…"
Aqua then realized… could he mean the Keyblade Wars?! Was he gathering the Reborn to create an army? But it made no sense to her… why would they be trapped in Kingdom Hearts if his purpose was to re-ignite the legend? Wouldn't Xehanort have sent them out already?
"The Keyblade Wars, as I have told you before, were a series of battles fought between the Keybearers of Light and Darkness. All of them had fought for one thing… the X-Blade. That which would open Kingdom Hearts, and change the worlds forever. I will find the X-Blade once again, and do just that."
He then continued, "But that, dear Aqua, is only the beginning. I haven't even told you why I am gathering Reborn in the first place, or how all this will be carried out. Not anything you, nor Sora, nor Kairi can do will put an end to my dream… so I will leave you with this, now that I know you are once again an annoyance to me, and the rest of us will be on our way. Should you survive, perhaps then you will find out more…"
Aqua realized there was more to his plan than just the Keyblade Wars. He wanted to bring about a change, and whatever that was... it couldn't be good. But how were the Reborn involved? She would put a stop to this, and save her friends if it was the last thing she did!
Xehanort then raised his hand and drew a Keyblade. It was double-edged, with barbs protruding from them. The guard was black and consisted of two demonic wing shapes, a horned lion's head, and a demonic blue eye above the handle. Its head had another eye like the one on the handle and keychain, and it created two claw shapes that curved outward to look like an axe. It was truly an ominous weapon.
He pointed it at the ground, and a pool of darkness appeared before Aqua. From it arose a creature that was humanoid in appearance. On its chest was an emblem that she thought had seen somewhere before: it looked like a heart with a red "X" through its center, with a stem having three prongs at the bottom protruding downward from the heart. The emblem itself was outlined in red.
Aqua then remembered it being the same insignia that was on the Soldier Heartless enemies she had battled in Yen Sid's tower. The Heartless that now stood before her had a robe it wore, with wrappings all over its face. Its clothes were all black, but Aqua had noticed something. It's eyes weren't glowing at all, but instead… they were in the likeness of Ansem's eyes.
"I must ask of you Master Aqua, should you ever happen across it, to destroy the monster immediately." The words of Ansem the Wise rang through her head, and she knew now that it was indeed his Heartless that was created by the machine he had. Xehanort had acquired the creature somehow.
"It is truly a shame that I couldn't find his Nobody, otherwise I'd have summoned him too. Until we meet again… Master Aqua!" All of them disappeared through a Corridor of Darkness.
The Keyblade master immediately summoned the images of Ventus and Terra, then the Heartless had vanished in dark smoke and reappeared on a rooftop. Several ribbons of the same material as the wrappings had emerged from its cloak, and they were headed towards the trio.
Aqua had gone to cartwheel out of the way while Ventus's image blocked and Terra's image swung at the ribbon headed for it. As she completed her cartwheel halfway, Aqua had teleported in the direction she was dodging, something the Keyblade master was able to do earlier in her Ghost Drive Command Style from long ago. Wondering if it was part of her new powers, she was simply glad to have avoided the attacking ribbon.
Terra's image managed to knock away the ribbon headed for him, but the other one had grabbed Ventus's image. Aqua fired several shots at it after the ribbon brought Ventus's image over to the Heartless, which was charging up with the power of darkness. As it broke free thanks to Aqua's attack, the image of Ventus interrupted the creature with an air combo, and it teleported to another rooftop far away.
By the time Aqua's trio had reached it, the spell it began to cast was finished charging, and he unleashed several homing orbs of darkness into the air. The images of Terra and Ventus prepared to block with their phantom Keyblades, while Aqua cast Reflect just as the orb hit. Both images faded away when the orbs connected with them, as they were still hit by massive damage despite having guarded. Aqua pointed her Keyblade after her barrier blocked the orb and exploded, and she shot several times at the Heartless, then fired a finishing shot.
It was recharging after the massive spell it had cast, and could not teleport to avoid the projectiles. As it was flinched by the last hit, Aqua continued another ranged combo. By the second finisher, it had gathered the focus to teleport to a closer rooftop, and sent more ribbons. However, this time portals of darkness appeared around it, and it sent the ribbons through them.
Aqua had to quickly cartwheel-warp several times, as the exits to the portals were appearing around her. She was eventually grabbed by one of the ribbons, and dragged through to the rooftop. As she was unable to move while Ansem's Heartless casted its massive spell again, the images of Ventus and Terra suddenly re-appeared from out of Aqua, apparently having recovered and back in the fight.
Both of them knocked away the creature with combo attacks, and Aqua proceeded to use her Rainbow Six Shoot Lock. She fired the several prismatic orbs of light, then after it was done the creature teleported to another rooftop. However, it was on the same level, and Aqua had a clear shot at it. As the darkness materialized, she fired another combo, and just as the Heartless appeared, it was hit by the finishing blow and had fallen forward off the rooftop.
It began fading into darkness, motionless. Aqua had fulfilled her promise to Ansem the Wise, and now had to continue her journey to restore order to the worlds… by stopping Xehanort and getting back the real versions of her friends. She had returned to the Restoration Committee to say a temporary farewell.
"Man, this town's been under attack almost every time those goons show up…" Cid had mentioned with a sigh.
"Yeah, but as long as we're around, and as long as you Keybearers continue to help out, we've got nothing to worry about!" Yuffie cheered.
"Count on it." Aqua had assured them.
"It's good to have you back, Master Aqua!" Merlin had appeared to greet her.
He explained the task Yen Sid had given him, and showed Aqua the virtual training program both he and Cid engineered. Aqua spent a short time testing out her new abilities, and practicing teamwork with the images of Ventus and Terra. She explained to Merlin that she had new powers, and he explained to her about Sora and Kairi. However, he did not mention the dark powers of the latter to Aqua.
After the short training session, Aqua left for the next world. As she took off on her Keyblade in its vehicle form, the Keyblade master looked upon the town. It had really changed so much since she last saw, and when it was all over, Aqua had planned to visit… with the real Terra and Ventus.
---
"Where are we?" Sora, Donald, and Goofy had appeared near a small hut, a river with a bridge leading up to it. The hut itself was made of wood, and had a straw roof over it.
Sora saw a young boy coming out, and the geese that had gathered on the bridge flocked away as he walked across it. His hair was auburn in color, and he wore a green vest over a yellow shirt, with brown boots that trotted through the dirt path as he was headed across the river.
"Oh, who are you three? Have you come to see Dallben?" he asked.
"Uh… we've heard reports that there were some strange creatures around here. We're here to make sure they don't disturb anyone." Sora had told him.
"Well it's good to know that someone came out here. I've seen some rather ominous looking creatures in the forest lately, and Dallben has had me coming out here to make sure everything was okay. There have been rumors going around that those things were sent by the Horned King."
"The Horned… King?" Sora pondered.
"They say he's one of the most fearsome of villains around. Oh, I'm Taran by the way!" he introduced himself.
"I'm Sora, and these two are my friends, Donald and Goofy. It's nice to meet you!" Sora said.
"One of these days, I'm going to prove myself as a knight, and I'll go out there and help get rid of those pesky monsters, and the Horned King! What are they, anyway?" Taran questioned.
"They're called Heartless and Nobodies. The Heartless are usually dark in color and have yellow glowing eyes, like shadows, and the Nobodies are mostly gray or silver. They sometimes attack each other, but they mostly go after citizens." Sora explained.
"Ah. Well anyway, I'm out here to do some chores for Dallben. If you'd like to help, I'd be happy to introduce you to him as well!" he offered.
"Sure, we can help!" Sora said.
"I'm going to feed the pig, Hen Wen. You three could maybe feed the geese with these pell- Oh no, it's those creatures!"
No sooner than as Taran shouted had several Shadows appeared. They were gathered around what looked like a wooden doghouse, with stone bricks forming the base.
One of them went for Taran, and he picked up a stick to defend himself. As he swung at the creature, it pushed him off balance.
Sora's trio drew their weapons. "Taran, we'll handle these!" He went for the nearest two shadows, while Donald and Goofy attacked several of the ones around Hen Wen's abode.
As the Shadows had disappeared, a new Heartless Sora hadn't seen before appeared: it looked very much like a Wyvern, but was tiny and its limbs weren't fully grown.
"What kind is that?" Sora wondered, as he held the two Keyblades ready.
"We've been seeing several of those, and called them Whelplings! They've been ruining crops in the garden lately." Taran told Sora.
"(Wyvern Whelps, huh?)" Sora lunged at it, but it flew very quickly above ground. It dived for Sora just as he was regaining balance, and hit him for moderate damage. He countered with a combo that dispatched it, then two more had appeared. Almost as soon as one of them had, it dived for Sora as it spun like a drill.
He barely had time to cast Vigilance before it knocked into him, and he cast Shockstorm at close range after taking the hit to catch several Shadows and another Wyvern Whelp that dove towards him.
The Wyvern Whelps were very agile, not like their older counterparts, and were also harder to hit because of their small size. One of them knocked Taran into the mud, and Donald cast Cure on him afterward.
After all the creatures had been destroyed, Hen Wen came out of hiding and walked up to Taran. An elderly man had came out of the hut, wearing dark red clothing with gray hair.
"Hmmm, not quite the blade for a hero…" he jokingly mocked Taran.
"Well, it's just that we were… Hen Wen came under attack by those creatures!" the boy had quickly explained.
"Oh, I see… another dream of being the hero, Taran? You're lucky these three came along if those creatures really DID come by. By the way… what are your names?" the old man asked.
The trio introduced themselves, then the man introduced himself. "I am Dallben, owner of this estate. These creatures have been curiously poking their noses around and just recently started doing harm to our land. So far, I've had Taran be very careful around the farm…"
"But Dallben, won't I ever be anything but an assistant pigkeeper?" Taran asked.
"This is a special pig, Taran…" as Dallben went to rub Hen Wen's belly. "Now give her a nice bath, and keep these three around if any more of those things should come."
Taran did as Dallben instructed, but as he put Hen Wen in the bathwater and scrubbed it with a soapy brush, the pig began squealing out of control.
"What's wrong with it?" Donald wondered.
"Maybe there's more of them Heartless around!" Goofy readied himself for another attack, but then lowered his guard as none of them were coming.
Hen Wen leapt from the bucket, spilling the water everywhere, and Dallben opened his window to check.
"Taran, what's going on?!" he yelled.
"I don't know! There's something wrong with Hen Wen!" Taran told him, a look of shock on his face.
"What? Oh quickly lad, bring her inside!" Dallben exclaimed.
The four of them brought Hen Wen into Dallben's hut. In a dark room lit only by candlelight, a wooden basin of water sat on the floor. Taran brought Hen Wen over to it.
"What's that for?" Taran asked.
"Put Hen Wen down. I never use her powers unless I have to, but now I must..." Dallben explained.
"That pig… has powers? What kind?" A puzzled expression was on Sora's face.
"Indeed, powers…?" Taran was just as curious.
"What you both are about to see… you must never reveal to anyone!" He took out a long cane and began to stir the water in the basin.
"Hen Wen from you, I do beseech… knowledge that lies beyond my reach. Troubled thoughts beyond your heart… may you now, those thoughts impart!" Dallben had chanted.
Hen Wen entered a trance, and dipped her nose into the water. The four heroes watched as purple light flowed to the middle, then began to swirl as if creating a whirlpool. Suddenly, a figure consisting of vapory blue mist had appeared in the water… it looked ominous, with two horns on top of its head, a draped fur cloak across the back, and it was riding a skeletal horse.
"The Horned King…!" Dallben had said with an expression of fear on his face.
Taran gasped, but the enchanter had motioned for him to be quiet, for it would interfere with the scrying.
The water had suddenly turned orange, and a shadowy figure shaped like a dragon appeared swirling around the vortex of golden light.
"He is searching…" Dallben gazed with intrigue into the water.
Another dragon shape had appeared, and the two began making a figure-8 flight pattern, then converged in the center to form a shadow that looked like a large pot.
"The Black Cauldron… so THAT'S it!" the enchanter had exclaimed.
"The Black Cauldron?" Taran pondered.
"An awful weapon… it's been hidden for centuries, but IF the Horned King should find it, and unleash its power…" Dallben began.
The water had suddenly turned red as the face of the figure previously riding the horse had appeared, red-eyed, sharp-toothed, and wearing an ominous dark-red hood. It wrapped its hands around the cauldron as the water began to swirl more fiercely.
"… Nothing could stand against him!" he explained further.
Just then, a shadow had appeared in the water, shaped like a pig and bright pink in color. "Hen Wen!" Taran had exclaimed.
"He knows… STOP!" Dallben tapped the surface of the basin with his cane, and Hen Wen withdrew from the water.
"You must leave here at once! Take Hen Wen to the Hidden Cottage, at the end of the Forbidden Forest! Hide there, and never bring her out until I've come for you!"
"Hide? But why?" Taran questioned.
"Why are we hiding? I've handled creeps way worse than this Horned King!" Sora exclaimed.
"Only I knew the secret of Hen Wen's power, but now the Horned King has discovered it! We must make sure he never uses it to find the Black Cauldron!" Dallben explained.
"I'm not afraid of the Horned King!" Taran protested.
"Yeah, bring him on, we can take him!" Sora raised his hands, then whipped out the Keyblades. "You see these? They're called Keyblades. I've defeated all kinds of villains using their power. We don't have to hide from the Horned King, we can fight!" Sora yelled.
"You are both very foolish lads! Even great heroes who once wielded power that could split the mountains fell to this monster of a king! Untried courage is no match for his evil, remember that! Now, off you go boys." He handed Taran a pouch with several supplies for the trip, and sent the four on their way.
---
An ominous castle comprising of several houses and a tower had stood. Within it's deepest reaches, a shadow had arisen on the wall of a figure wearing a hooded robe with two antlers and two frontal horns emerging from his head. The figure itself had walked through the cellar he was now in, the floor covered with mist and the bones of the dead.
"Yesssss…. oh yes, my soldiers… soon the Black Cauldron will be mine…!"
He reached forward and brushed the cobwebs off the skull of the skeleton in front of him.
"Soon its evil power will course through my veins… and I shall make you… Cauldron-born!"
He got up and then began to raise his hands into the air. "Yessss…. yes, oh yes… then you will worship MEEEE! Oh my soldiers… how long I have thirsted to be a god… among mortal men!"
A figure then appeared from a Corridor of Darkness. "You called for something, oh great one?"
"Ienzo, it was?" The figure asked.
"That is my name. I assume you are looking for this… Black Cauldron?"
"Exactly… soon I, the Horned King, will have it. But first, I must find that wretched pig whom, thanks to your book and my scrying bowl, I have discovered!"
"I will find this pig, and then you will have your Black Cauldron. And as we agreed, you will summon the Heartless and Nobodies as I have given you the power to do, along with these Cauldron-born of yours should you desire, to wreak havoc on this world. We care not what happens to the Heartless and Nobodies, for their destruction will allow my master's plans to succeed." Ienzo had explained.
"Indeed… now then, this 'Keybearer' who has caused problems for your master in the past… how much of a threat is he to our plans?" The Horned King began heading out of the crypt.
"You will have your artifact soon. Sora shouldn't be too much of a nuisance. And besides, I have a failsafe plan to work around anything he might try to hide the pig…"
---
"Gosh Hen Wen! I never knew you could create visions and things like that! I thought you were just an ordinary pig!" Taran cheered in excitement.
"Yeah, to be honest I didn't think pigs could do that…" Sora of course knew there was probably something more to it, perhaps part of the rules of the world he now visited. There must have been something special about Hen Wen…
"Ya know Sora, Hen Wen might be important to this world somehow!" Goofy suggested in a whisper to Sora. "Maybe she'll show the Keyhole to this world!"
"I don't know, I think my Keyblade would've reacted by now." Sora did wonder though.
The four of them came to a stream with Hen Wen, and Taran set her down to take a drink. As Sora and Taran took their refresher break, the pig ran off into the forest. The four of them soon found themselves in the forest, trying to retrieve her as they fought the Heartless and Nobodies that appeared.
"Hen? Hen Wen! Hen Wen…!" They were all shouting, trying to stick together and find the pig.
"I can't believe I got stuck doing this, all because Dallben wanted us to take the pig to a cottage. I could be fighting the Horned King right now and end this!" Sora brooded.
Taran then pulled out an apple, then shouted, "Look what I've got! C'mon, here's a lovely, juicy…"
Just as he was about to say "apple," a small furry creature pounced at Taran, pushing him to the ground. Sora's trio drew their weapons in shock, but didn't make a move; they saw the creature was simply after the apple, but they stood ready to defend themselves nevertheless.
The creature had a face that almost looked like a dog, with a little black nose and small ears that pointed down. Beige fur covered his entire body except for around his eyes along with the hands and feet, which were gray.
"Whaha!! Oooo, great Prince give poor starving Gurgi munchings and crunchings! Nice apple! Good Prince, good apple! Oh boy! What a juicy apple!"
Gurgi had begun to walk away, then Taran had grabbed him by the scruffy hair on his neck. Taran and Gurgi fought over the apple, until Gurgi took a bite out of it before giving it back to Taran.
"You could have just asked!" Donald yelled at Gurgi.
"Oooohh, poor miserable Gurgi deserves fierce smacking and whacking on his poor tender head! All is left with no munchings and crunchings! Forgive poor Gurgi!"
"Oh, stop that sniveling! I'm not going to hurt you. Now look here, have you seen my pig?" Taran asked it.
"Piggy? Round, fat piggy? Big snout?" Gurgi responded.
"Yeah, that's her!" Sora cheered.
"Curly tail?" the creature further described.
"Gawrsh, that's Hen Wen alright, ahyuk!" Goofy exclaimed.
"Uhhh, nope. Gurgi has not seen piggy! Nope!"
The four who had lost the pig turned their heads down in a shocking, sudden expression of disappointment.
"WHAAAA!! Then why did ya just describe her to us?!" Donald said after he made his angry yell at Gurgi.
"Oh, master, master, now Gurgi remembers! Yes, yes! Clever, sharp-eyed Gurgi saw the piggy run, right through the forest! Mhmm, mhmm, I saw it!" Gurgi cheered.
"I believe you're looking for this pig?" a familiar voice had said.
"It's him…!" Sora shouted.
Appearing at a distance in front of them was Ienzo, holding Hen Wen with one arm and his lexicon with the other.
"It hasn't truly been that long since our last meeting at Hollow Bastion, has it Sora?"
His book-like mask had begun to suddenly fade, and his face was becoming visible. The silvery bangs of his hair fell forward to cover the right eye, and he smiled at the four.
"I plan to bring this pig to the Horned King myself, and there's nothing you can do about it." Ienzo gleefully told Sora in a way that would bring out his anger.
"Oh yeah?! We'll see about that! After you and Arlene tried to destroy Hollow Bastion, I'm not gonna let you ruin things in this world!" Sora drew both his Keyblades as Donald and Goofy drew their weapons.
"(Ha ha ha..! He has absolutely no idea… Now I'll intentionally release Hen Wen from my grasp so that she'll come to Sora, but make it look like she escaped so he doesn't suspect anything. Then, I'll summon the Rustflier to keep his mind occupied with battle. And after he defeats it, he'll discover the magical object which was conjured from the pages of my lexicon that I gave Hen Wen, not knowing what it REALLY is…)" Ienzo was almost laughing, but he had to control his expressions… Sora might think he was up to something! The inability to feel emotion as a Nobody was something he had almost missed, because it made him all that much harder to read. Yet at the same time… the feeling of a plan coming together had never felt so good to Ienzo!
Chapter 3 Part 2
((This next chapter is the very first world that the Keybearers visit. It's Prydain from The Black Cauldron.
I made sure to include everything that was in the Sneak Preview, but due to unforeseen circumstances I was not able to finish part 2 of Chapter 3. My parents had called me early in the morning and said they were coming over to my place for my mother's birthday celebration, so I had to prepare my house for their arrival. They stayed for most of the day then left, so I was only able to finish part 1.
Two things that in my opinion make this part really interesting:
1. I decided to add some suspense to the end of this part. Sora's visit to Prydain doesn't finish here, but most of it is shown here and he DOES visit the world. Ienzo makes an appearance, and has an ellaborate plan to complete the mission Xehanort gives him...
s1ruckysta
Zexion fans will probably enjoy the end of this part.
2. Aqua fights Ansem's Heartless when it appears to her as she promised Ansem the Wise, and it's actually my interpretation of how he would actually fight, what his Heartless would be like, as well as what powers it would use if he were ever to become a Heartless. DiZ fans might really enjoy the combat action in this part.
Granted, I'm not having some of these events that are intended to be "crowning moments of awesome" for the two characters because of fanservice (It might seem like it, but it's really part of the story and not meant as fanservice), but because I had already planned them as part of my fanfic.
Also, starting from here on, for select passages that entail major fights in the fanfic I will have links to music that is on Youtube for readers to enjoy the highlighted passages with that link to them, should they so choose. It will open in a separate window))
CHAPTER 3 (Part 1): The Wonderful World of Prydain
Sora, Donald, and Goofy decided that they wouldn't revisit Yen Sid's tower or Radiant Garden for a while, but rather chose to start right on their journey. In their Gummi ship, they were headed for the closest world on the radar.
Just then, a certain cricket had appeared. He wore a black tuxedo jacket, with brown pants and a top hat. He carried two things in his possession: an umbrella and a journal.
"Hey Sora, did you forget about my journal this whole time?" he asked.
"Oh yeah, we should write down what happened in Radiant Garden, and about everything else that happened!" Sora remembered.
Jiminy Cricket began to write in his journal. He made two entries: The Journey's Start and Radiant Garden. As Sora explained what happened recently, the cricket began to write.
Under The Journey's Start, he wrote:
"Sora had received a letter from King Mickey that Kairi had found, telling him of three individuals who were suffering that he needed to go rescue. The Keybearer had a dream in which he had spoken with Roxas face to face and his powers had changed.
As Donald and Goofy appeared with the Gummi ship, a terrible pain had briefly occurred in everyone's heads! Sora got into the ship to travel to the next world, but Kairi jumped on the nose, begging him not to leave her on Destiny Islands. It took Riku and a barrel roll over the ocean to safely shake Kairi off, then Sora made Riku promise that he'd look after her. The Keybearer departed for Yen Sid's tower.
At the tower, Sora had fought Heartless and Nobodies, learning how to use his new powers as he battled them. Soon, the trio were in Yen Sid's study, and he handed a letter from King Mickey to Sora that explained what was happening around the worlds. Master Yen Sid then gave Sora the power of D-Link, and the Keybearer departed for Radiant Garden to meet up with the Restoration Committee.
Then, under the entry titled Radiant Garden, Jiminy Cricket wrote:
"Sora, Donald, and Goofy arrived at Radiant Garden and headed for Merlin's House. It was there that Cid explained the situation of Hollow Bastion being haunted by furniture that attacked anyone who entered, and then three members of a group called the Council of XXV appeared outside.
Sora ran out to confront them, and they revealed themselves to be Ienzo, Arlene, and Dilan, rearrangements of the names Zexion, Larxene, and Xaldin but without the letter 'X.' Arlene had summoned Heartless and Nobodies to attack Hollow Bastion, and Sora rushed off to defend it. He noticed that there was a large group of people gathered outside Merlin's House, but the castle was in danger so Sora would have to check into the commotion later.
At the Great Maw, Sora, Donald, and Goofy made their stand between Hollow Bastion and the advancing enemies. Arlene and Ienzo appeared, summoned over three hundred enemies to battle Sora, then departed for a different world each: Ienzo went to Prydain, and Arlene to the Pirate Seas. In the heat of the battle, Sora discovered two brand new abilities, and one of them made him look almost just like Roxas!"
The second page of the entry continued:
"As the enemies were vanquished thanks to the combined efforts of Sora, Donald, and Goofy, they turned their attention to Hollow Bastion and the apparent 'ghost problem' that was occurring. Sora had discovered an area of the castle he had never before seen, and ended up freeing a Keyblade master named Aqua. As she thanked Sora and departed, the trio headed back to Merlin's House.
It was there that Merlin showed Sora a new training program he and Cid developed, and also familiarized Sora with the two new types of abilities he discovered in his last battle, called 'Command Styles' and 'Shoot Locks.' Merlin then gave Sora an ice cream, called 'Cinnamon Sorbet,' that activated the Frozen Flame Command Style he just previously used. The wizard explained that he partnered with Scrooge McDuck to sell ice cream that ordinary citizens could enjoy, but that Sora could also use once in a while to activate his Command Styles.
Sora had asked the Restoration Committee about Kairi, and they told him she visited with Riku and King Mickey while he was away thwarting the Council's attempt to destroy the castle and removing the recent curse that enveloped it. The Committee explained that Kairi's grandmother had passed away, and that she was headed on her own journey to help restore order to the worlds. Sora at first wanted to find his friend and express his disappointment with her leaving the islands, but Cloud told him of Kairi's newfound prowess in combat. Assured that Mickey and Riku would keep her safe, and that if what Cloud said was indeed true it would mean she would actually be of help to Sora on his journey, the Keybearer decided to immediately head for the next world to start right on the journey to thwart the Council of XXV and save the remaining two who went missing in action."
"Alright Sora, there's the first two chapters of your new journey!" Jiminy put his pen and journal away.
"Sora, there's a world coming up on the radar!" Dale announced over the intercom.
"Scanning… the world is called Prydain! Sora, do you wish to land?" Chip asked.
"Of course we do!" Sora said.
The trio had begun to land their Gummi ship on the second world they would visit on their new journey.
---
Aqua had arrived in Radiant Garden to stock up on supplies and look around more since she didn't really give herself time for that on her last visit. Everything had changed so much, but it was to be expected since 12 long years had passed. She was still having trouble taking it in… Aqua was technically older now than half the citizens she passed by. The first thing she decided to do after her visit here was to go back to Castle Oblivion (formerly the Land of Departure) and check to see if Ventus was still okay. The Keyblade master began preparing herself for the worst…
She didn't have the chance to meet notable officials, so she asked around and found out there was a group in charge of defense and repairs known as the Restoration Committee, whose headquarters were at Merlin's House. As she entered and saw the members, she introduced herself.
"Hello, my name is Aqua. I'm kind of new around here, and…"
"Yen Sid told us about you. Welcome to Radiant Garden." Leon stated.
"Oh, he did? Well, it's been a long since I last visited, and everything has changed… so much!" she told them.
The Committee told Aqua about the first time their home was lost to them, and what happened after they began rebuilding. They all introduced themselves to Aqua. Then Cloud came in and noticed her.
"You're… Aqua! But you haven't aged a bit…?" He was shocked.
"Cloud?!" she was surprised. "You've grown so much…"
"You two know each other?" Cid was puzzled.
"Yes, I knew him back when he trained at Olympus Coliseum! How is everything…?" Aqua asked Cloud.
"Good, except… he's back." A downtrodden look appeared on his face.
"You don't mean…"
"Yeah, it's Sephiroth… I recently came back from fighting him, but he got away. I was this close to avenging… Zack…!" Cloud hit the wall in frustration.
"Cloud… I'm sure he's proud of you right now…" Aqua tried to cheer him up.
"… Well, it's good to have you here with us!" Aerith changed the subject back to greeting Aqua.
"Yeah, now there's THREE of them on a journey! Man, I'd hate to be whoever was causing the kind of trouble that required Sora, Kairi, AND you to stop them!" Yuffie remarked.
"… Kairi?" Aqua was confused. The same Kairi she had met? Then she remembered Kairi touching her Keyblade just before she fought the Unversed that were attacking her. "(Oh no… Aqua, you idiot! You accidentally performed the Inheritance Ceremony! Now she's involved in all this!)"
"Yeah, she really saved the residential area from a major attack by Heartless and Nobodies while Sora was off saving the castle. Both of them were a massive help!" Tifa exclaimed.
Aqua then wondered. "Was a boy named Riku with either of them?"
"Yeah, him and King Mickey were traveling with Kairi." Leon told her.
King Mickey? And the one Terra chose as a successor was now traveling with the one she accidentally had chosen? But then again, Sora was only a toddler when Aqua met him, and she remembered not only how much he had grown, but that he also was now a Keybearer.
Regardless of Aqua not choosing him as a successor, he had gained the ability to wield a Keyblade anyway… maybe Ventus had chosen him as an apprentice? Perhaps it wasn't as bad a situation as she thought, and besides… why shouldn't Kairi be able to help those she cared about? Maybe the Princess and herself were alike, or so the Keyblade master thought.
She actually wanted to meet her and Riku now that Aqua had seen Sora all grown up, and besides… Mickey was with her, and the letter that Aqua received was written by him, so if she were to meet the former student of Master Yen Sid again then Aqua would probably be more up to date on information. His former teacher had also given her information about Mickey, that he graduated from training and was now both a full-fledged Keybearer and the King of Disney Castle.
"So, you have returned to the Realm of Light at last… Master Aqua!"
"Sora and Kairi DID drop by earlier, and the others told us they were quite the nuisance! Not surprising though, seeing as the former ruined one of my most elaborately planned schemes…"
"Man, I was gettin' so tired of pushovers for Keybearers. Now one of those three is back in the game! Dude, this is gonna be fun!"
"… Our Superior, you said it's been 11 years, but she hasn't aged… curious."
"Dammit, not them again!" Cid yelled.
Aqua instantly recognized two of the voices; one of them was of Braig, and the other… was their leader, the man now known as Xehanort. She ran outside to confront the members of the Council of XXV that Yen Sid had briefed her on.
There were four of them this time, with three of them wearing the same armored cloaks with the insignia of the Reborn on the shoulder pads. However, their leader was not wearing any such clothing, but instead had the outfit Aqua last remembered seeing him with, 11 years ago when she had entered the Realm of Darkness after their last battle.
It was just as Aqua had feared; her friend Terra was still possessed by Master Xehanort, and though she heard from Yen Sid about him becoming a Heartless and creating a Nobody, he had also told her that the original had returned. Now, it was as if nothing had changed… was there any hope for her friend? Or would he be gone forever?
He had short and spiky silver hair that stuck up in front, formed an over-comb across the top, and fell down to the sides. Xehanort shared only one similarity with the armor and clothing the other members of the council wore; a shoulder pad of black and gold-colored metal, but unlike the others it didn't have the insignia of the Reborn. He wore a black t-shirt with two red straps forming an "X" across the chest, and a light-brown pants that looked more like a ruffled-skirt. His amber eyes had a sinister look in them, and he simply stared at the Keyblade master as she stood confronting Xehanort and his three fellow Council members.
As for the other three, the man to his direct left had short, dark-gray hair, and a gold mask that looked like night-vision goggles with an air filter below them. Not much else was visible, but a tiny black strap protruded from underneath the mask to his neck.
The one to his far left had a mask that was shaped like multiple jagged rocks protruding from a boulder, and was very muscular. His hair was brown, and was worn in a full over-comb style that was slightly wavy and spiked up in back.
The last one had a golden mask that looked like a golden skull with pink flower petals on several areas of it. It was the only mask out of the group that actually had more than just gold for a color. His spiky hair went down to his shoulders, and also was the same color as the petals on his mask.
"Braig, Aeleus, and Lumaria, behold… Aqua, the Keyblade master from eleven years ago whom I once fought in battle."
Aqua was shocked. He… remembered?! But then that means…
"The dude didn't even need me to remind him after he came back! And man, I'm sure you're PISSED right now… stuck in the Realm of Darkness for 11 years after saving who you thought was your best friend, only for like, practically NOTHING to have changed. Irony dude… gotta love it!" Braig was laughing as Aqua's face had an expression of sadness on it.
"… I suppose this calls for a celebration, right?" Aeleus told Xehanort, but everyone else coldly ignored him except for Xehanort, who simply smirked. "….. My apologies." Aeleus said as he turned again to face Aqua.
She then looked at Xehanort as her expression turned to anger. "Terra, I know you're still in there! Fight him dammit!"
Xehanort laughed, then looked at her. "But Aqua, I'm already in control of myself…"
"The Superior has broken your friend, Keyblade master…" Lumaria said coldly as he then turned to look at him. He was snickering as he looked back at Aqua.
Aqua gasped. "…What…?!" She wouldn't believe it. Terra would never give in to Master Xehanort's control completely. It had to be a trick! Aqua knew he was in there when she last fought him.
"You know only part of my plans, Master Aqua…" he continued explaining, "It is true that I am gathering the Reborn into Kingdom Hearts, and I plan to use them all for a grand purpose…"
Aqua then realized… could he mean the Keyblade Wars?! Was he gathering the Reborn to create an army? But it made no sense to her… why would they be trapped in Kingdom Hearts if his purpose was to re-ignite the legend? Wouldn't Xehanort have sent them out already?
"The Keyblade Wars, as I have told you before, were a series of battles fought between the Keybearers of Light and Darkness. All of them had fought for one thing… the X-Blade. That which would open Kingdom Hearts, and change the worlds forever. I will find the X-Blade once again, and do just that."
He then continued, "But that, dear Aqua, is only the beginning. I haven't even told you why I am gathering Reborn in the first place, or how all this will be carried out. Not anything you, nor Sora, nor Kairi can do will put an end to my dream… so I will leave you with this, now that I know you are once again an annoyance to me, and the rest of us will be on our way. Should you survive, perhaps then you will find out more…"
Aqua realized there was more to his plan than just the Keyblade Wars. He wanted to bring about a change, and whatever that was... it couldn't be good. But how were the Reborn involved? She would put a stop to this, and save her friends if it was the last thing she did!
Xehanort then raised his hand and drew a Keyblade. It was double-edged, with barbs protruding from them. The guard was black and consisted of two demonic wing shapes, a horned lion's head, and a demonic blue eye above the handle. Its head had another eye like the one on the handle and keychain, and it created two claw shapes that curved outward to look like an axe. It was truly an ominous weapon.
He pointed it at the ground, and a pool of darkness appeared before Aqua. From it arose a creature that was humanoid in appearance. On its chest was an emblem that she thought had seen somewhere before: it looked like a heart with a red "X" through its center, with a stem having three prongs at the bottom protruding downward from the heart. The emblem itself was outlined in red.
Aqua then remembered it being the same insignia that was on the Soldier Heartless enemies she had battled in Yen Sid's tower. The Heartless that now stood before her had a robe it wore, with wrappings all over its face. Its clothes were all black, but Aqua had noticed something. It's eyes weren't glowing at all, but instead… they were in the likeness of Ansem's eyes.
"I must ask of you Master Aqua, should you ever happen across it, to destroy the monster immediately." The words of Ansem the Wise rang through her head, and she knew now that it was indeed his Heartless that was created by the machine he had. Xehanort had acquired the creature somehow.
"It is truly a shame that I couldn't find his Nobody, otherwise I'd have summoned him too. Until we meet again… Master Aqua!" All of them disappeared through a Corridor of Darkness.
The Keyblade master immediately summoned the images of Ventus and Terra, then the Heartless had vanished in dark smoke and reappeared on a rooftop. Several ribbons of the same material as the wrappings had emerged from its cloak, and they were headed towards the trio.
Aqua had gone to cartwheel out of the way while Ventus's image blocked and Terra's image swung at the ribbon headed for it. As she completed her cartwheel halfway, Aqua had teleported in the direction she was dodging, something the Keyblade master was able to do earlier in her Ghost Drive Command Style from long ago. Wondering if it was part of her new powers, she was simply glad to have avoided the attacking ribbon.
Terra's image managed to knock away the ribbon headed for him, but the other one had grabbed Ventus's image. Aqua fired several shots at it after the ribbon brought Ventus's image over to the Heartless, which was charging up with the power of darkness. As it broke free thanks to Aqua's attack, the image of Ventus interrupted the creature with an air combo, and it teleported to another rooftop far away.
By the time Aqua's trio had reached it, the spell it began to cast was finished charging, and he unleashed several homing orbs of darkness into the air. The images of Terra and Ventus prepared to block with their phantom Keyblades, while Aqua cast Reflect just as the orb hit. Both images faded away when the orbs connected with them, as they were still hit by massive damage despite having guarded. Aqua pointed her Keyblade after her barrier blocked the orb and exploded, and she shot several times at the Heartless, then fired a finishing shot.
It was recharging after the massive spell it had cast, and could not teleport to avoid the projectiles. As it was flinched by the last hit, Aqua continued another ranged combo. By the second finisher, it had gathered the focus to teleport to a closer rooftop, and sent more ribbons. However, this time portals of darkness appeared around it, and it sent the ribbons through them.
Aqua had to quickly cartwheel-warp several times, as the exits to the portals were appearing around her. She was eventually grabbed by one of the ribbons, and dragged through to the rooftop. As she was unable to move while Ansem's Heartless casted its massive spell again, the images of Ventus and Terra suddenly re-appeared from out of Aqua, apparently having recovered and back in the fight.
Both of them knocked away the creature with combo attacks, and Aqua proceeded to use her Rainbow Six Shoot Lock. She fired the several prismatic orbs of light, then after it was done the creature teleported to another rooftop. However, it was on the same level, and Aqua had a clear shot at it. As the darkness materialized, she fired another combo, and just as the Heartless appeared, it was hit by the finishing blow and had fallen forward off the rooftop.
It began fading into darkness, motionless. Aqua had fulfilled her promise to Ansem the Wise, and now had to continue her journey to restore order to the worlds… by stopping Xehanort and getting back the real versions of her friends. She had returned to the Restoration Committee to say a temporary farewell.
"Man, this town's been under attack almost every time those goons show up…" Cid had mentioned with a sigh.
"Yeah, but as long as we're around, and as long as you Keybearers continue to help out, we've got nothing to worry about!" Yuffie cheered.
"Count on it." Aqua had assured them.
"It's good to have you back, Master Aqua!" Merlin had appeared to greet her.
He explained the task Yen Sid had given him, and showed Aqua the virtual training program both he and Cid engineered. Aqua spent a short time testing out her new abilities, and practicing teamwork with the images of Ventus and Terra. She explained to Merlin that she had new powers, and he explained to her about Sora and Kairi. However, he did not mention the dark powers of the latter to Aqua.
After the short training session, Aqua left for the next world. As she took off on her Keyblade in its vehicle form, the Keyblade master looked upon the town. It had really changed so much since she last saw, and when it was all over, Aqua had planned to visit… with the real Terra and Ventus.
---
"Where are we?" Sora, Donald, and Goofy had appeared near a small hut, a river with a bridge leading up to it. The hut itself was made of wood, and had a straw roof over it.
Sora saw a young boy coming out, and the geese that had gathered on the bridge flocked away as he walked across it. His hair was auburn in color, and he wore a green vest over a yellow shirt, with brown boots that trotted through the dirt path as he was headed across the river.
"Oh, who are you three? Have you come to see Dallben?" he asked.
"Uh… we've heard reports that there were some strange creatures around here. We're here to make sure they don't disturb anyone." Sora had told him.
"Well it's good to know that someone came out here. I've seen some rather ominous looking creatures in the forest lately, and Dallben has had me coming out here to make sure everything was okay. There have been rumors going around that those things were sent by the Horned King."
"The Horned… King?" Sora pondered.
"They say he's one of the most fearsome of villains around. Oh, I'm Taran by the way!" he introduced himself.
"I'm Sora, and these two are my friends, Donald and Goofy. It's nice to meet you!" Sora said.
"One of these days, I'm going to prove myself as a knight, and I'll go out there and help get rid of those pesky monsters, and the Horned King! What are they, anyway?" Taran questioned.
"They're called Heartless and Nobodies. The Heartless are usually dark in color and have yellow glowing eyes, like shadows, and the Nobodies are mostly gray or silver. They sometimes attack each other, but they mostly go after citizens." Sora explained.
"Ah. Well anyway, I'm out here to do some chores for Dallben. If you'd like to help, I'd be happy to introduce you to him as well!" he offered.
"Sure, we can help!" Sora said.
"I'm going to feed the pig, Hen Wen. You three could maybe feed the geese with these pell- Oh no, it's those creatures!"
No sooner than as Taran shouted had several Shadows appeared. They were gathered around what looked like a wooden doghouse, with stone bricks forming the base.
One of them went for Taran, and he picked up a stick to defend himself. As he swung at the creature, it pushed him off balance.
Sora's trio drew their weapons. "Taran, we'll handle these!" He went for the nearest two shadows, while Donald and Goofy attacked several of the ones around Hen Wen's abode.
As the Shadows had disappeared, a new Heartless Sora hadn't seen before appeared: it looked very much like a Wyvern, but was tiny and its limbs weren't fully grown.
"What kind is that?" Sora wondered, as he held the two Keyblades ready.
"We've been seeing several of those, and called them Whelplings! They've been ruining crops in the garden lately." Taran told Sora.
"(Wyvern Whelps, huh?)" Sora lunged at it, but it flew very quickly above ground. It dived for Sora just as he was regaining balance, and hit him for moderate damage. He countered with a combo that dispatched it, then two more had appeared. Almost as soon as one of them had, it dived for Sora as it spun like a drill.
He barely had time to cast Vigilance before it knocked into him, and he cast Shockstorm at close range after taking the hit to catch several Shadows and another Wyvern Whelp that dove towards him.
The Wyvern Whelps were very agile, not like their older counterparts, and were also harder to hit because of their small size. One of them knocked Taran into the mud, and Donald cast Cure on him afterward.
After all the creatures had been destroyed, Hen Wen came out of hiding and walked up to Taran. An elderly man had came out of the hut, wearing dark red clothing with gray hair.
"Hmmm, not quite the blade for a hero…" he jokingly mocked Taran.
"Well, it's just that we were… Hen Wen came under attack by those creatures!" the boy had quickly explained.
"Oh, I see… another dream of being the hero, Taran? You're lucky these three came along if those creatures really DID come by. By the way… what are your names?" the old man asked.
The trio introduced themselves, then the man introduced himself. "I am Dallben, owner of this estate. These creatures have been curiously poking their noses around and just recently started doing harm to our land. So far, I've had Taran be very careful around the farm…"
"But Dallben, won't I ever be anything but an assistant pigkeeper?" Taran asked.
"This is a special pig, Taran…" as Dallben went to rub Hen Wen's belly. "Now give her a nice bath, and keep these three around if any more of those things should come."
Taran did as Dallben instructed, but as he put Hen Wen in the bathwater and scrubbed it with a soapy brush, the pig began squealing out of control.
"What's wrong with it?" Donald wondered.
"Maybe there's more of them Heartless around!" Goofy readied himself for another attack, but then lowered his guard as none of them were coming.
Hen Wen leapt from the bucket, spilling the water everywhere, and Dallben opened his window to check.
"Taran, what's going on?!" he yelled.
"I don't know! There's something wrong with Hen Wen!" Taran told him, a look of shock on his face.
"What? Oh quickly lad, bring her inside!" Dallben exclaimed.
The four of them brought Hen Wen into Dallben's hut. In a dark room lit only by candlelight, a wooden basin of water sat on the floor. Taran brought Hen Wen over to it.
"What's that for?" Taran asked.
"Put Hen Wen down. I never use her powers unless I have to, but now I must..." Dallben explained.
"That pig… has powers? What kind?" A puzzled expression was on Sora's face.
"Indeed, powers…?" Taran was just as curious.
"What you both are about to see… you must never reveal to anyone!" He took out a long cane and began to stir the water in the basin.
"Hen Wen from you, I do beseech… knowledge that lies beyond my reach. Troubled thoughts beyond your heart… may you now, those thoughts impart!" Dallben had chanted.
Hen Wen entered a trance, and dipped her nose into the water. The four heroes watched as purple light flowed to the middle, then began to swirl as if creating a whirlpool. Suddenly, a figure consisting of vapory blue mist had appeared in the water… it looked ominous, with two horns on top of its head, a draped fur cloak across the back, and it was riding a skeletal horse.
"The Horned King…!" Dallben had said with an expression of fear on his face.
Taran gasped, but the enchanter had motioned for him to be quiet, for it would interfere with the scrying.
The water had suddenly turned orange, and a shadowy figure shaped like a dragon appeared swirling around the vortex of golden light.
"He is searching…" Dallben gazed with intrigue into the water.
Another dragon shape had appeared, and the two began making a figure-8 flight pattern, then converged in the center to form a shadow that looked like a large pot.
"The Black Cauldron… so THAT'S it!" the enchanter had exclaimed.
"The Black Cauldron?" Taran pondered.
"An awful weapon… it's been hidden for centuries, but IF the Horned King should find it, and unleash its power…" Dallben began.
The water had suddenly turned red as the face of the figure previously riding the horse had appeared, red-eyed, sharp-toothed, and wearing an ominous dark-red hood. It wrapped its hands around the cauldron as the water began to swirl more fiercely.
"… Nothing could stand against him!" he explained further.
Just then, a shadow had appeared in the water, shaped like a pig and bright pink in color. "Hen Wen!" Taran had exclaimed.
"He knows… STOP!" Dallben tapped the surface of the basin with his cane, and Hen Wen withdrew from the water.
"You must leave here at once! Take Hen Wen to the Hidden Cottage, at the end of the Forbidden Forest! Hide there, and never bring her out until I've come for you!"
"Hide? But why?" Taran questioned.
"Why are we hiding? I've handled creeps way worse than this Horned King!" Sora exclaimed.
"Only I knew the secret of Hen Wen's power, but now the Horned King has discovered it! We must make sure he never uses it to find the Black Cauldron!" Dallben explained.
"I'm not afraid of the Horned King!" Taran protested.
"Yeah, bring him on, we can take him!" Sora raised his hands, then whipped out the Keyblades. "You see these? They're called Keyblades. I've defeated all kinds of villains using their power. We don't have to hide from the Horned King, we can fight!" Sora yelled.
"You are both very foolish lads! Even great heroes who once wielded power that could split the mountains fell to this monster of a king! Untried courage is no match for his evil, remember that! Now, off you go boys." He handed Taran a pouch with several supplies for the trip, and sent the four on their way.
---
An ominous castle comprising of several houses and a tower had stood. Within it's deepest reaches, a shadow had arisen on the wall of a figure wearing a hooded robe with two antlers and two frontal horns emerging from his head. The figure itself had walked through the cellar he was now in, the floor covered with mist and the bones of the dead.
"Yesssss…. oh yes, my soldiers… soon the Black Cauldron will be mine…!"
He reached forward and brushed the cobwebs off the skull of the skeleton in front of him.
"Soon its evil power will course through my veins… and I shall make you… Cauldron-born!"
He got up and then began to raise his hands into the air. "Yessss…. yes, oh yes… then you will worship MEEEE! Oh my soldiers… how long I have thirsted to be a god… among mortal men!"
A figure then appeared from a Corridor of Darkness. "You called for something, oh great one?"
"Ienzo, it was?" The figure asked.
"That is my name. I assume you are looking for this… Black Cauldron?"
"Exactly… soon I, the Horned King, will have it. But first, I must find that wretched pig whom, thanks to your book and my scrying bowl, I have discovered!"
"I will find this pig, and then you will have your Black Cauldron. And as we agreed, you will summon the Heartless and Nobodies as I have given you the power to do, along with these Cauldron-born of yours should you desire, to wreak havoc on this world. We care not what happens to the Heartless and Nobodies, for their destruction will allow my master's plans to succeed." Ienzo had explained.
"Indeed… now then, this 'Keybearer' who has caused problems for your master in the past… how much of a threat is he to our plans?" The Horned King began heading out of the crypt.
"You will have your artifact soon. Sora shouldn't be too much of a nuisance. And besides, I have a failsafe plan to work around anything he might try to hide the pig…"
---
"Gosh Hen Wen! I never knew you could create visions and things like that! I thought you were just an ordinary pig!" Taran cheered in excitement.
"Yeah, to be honest I didn't think pigs could do that…" Sora of course knew there was probably something more to it, perhaps part of the rules of the world he now visited. There must have been something special about Hen Wen…
"Ya know Sora, Hen Wen might be important to this world somehow!" Goofy suggested in a whisper to Sora. "Maybe she'll show the Keyhole to this world!"
"I don't know, I think my Keyblade would've reacted by now." Sora did wonder though.
The four of them came to a stream with Hen Wen, and Taran set her down to take a drink. As Sora and Taran took their refresher break, the pig ran off into the forest. The four of them soon found themselves in the forest, trying to retrieve her as they fought the Heartless and Nobodies that appeared.
"Hen? Hen Wen! Hen Wen…!" They were all shouting, trying to stick together and find the pig.
"I can't believe I got stuck doing this, all because Dallben wanted us to take the pig to a cottage. I could be fighting the Horned King right now and end this!" Sora brooded.
Taran then pulled out an apple, then shouted, "Look what I've got! C'mon, here's a lovely, juicy…"
Just as he was about to say "apple," a small furry creature pounced at Taran, pushing him to the ground. Sora's trio drew their weapons in shock, but didn't make a move; they saw the creature was simply after the apple, but they stood ready to defend themselves nevertheless.
The creature had a face that almost looked like a dog, with a little black nose and small ears that pointed down. Beige fur covered his entire body except for around his eyes along with the hands and feet, which were gray.
"Whaha!! Oooo, great Prince give poor starving Gurgi munchings and crunchings! Nice apple! Good Prince, good apple! Oh boy! What a juicy apple!"
Gurgi had begun to walk away, then Taran had grabbed him by the scruffy hair on his neck. Taran and Gurgi fought over the apple, until Gurgi took a bite out of it before giving it back to Taran.
"You could have just asked!" Donald yelled at Gurgi.
"Oooohh, poor miserable Gurgi deserves fierce smacking and whacking on his poor tender head! All is left with no munchings and crunchings! Forgive poor Gurgi!"
"Oh, stop that sniveling! I'm not going to hurt you. Now look here, have you seen my pig?" Taran asked it.
"Piggy? Round, fat piggy? Big snout?" Gurgi responded.
"Yeah, that's her!" Sora cheered.
"Curly tail?" the creature further described.
"Gawrsh, that's Hen Wen alright, ahyuk!" Goofy exclaimed.
"Uhhh, nope. Gurgi has not seen piggy! Nope!"
The four who had lost the pig turned their heads down in a shocking, sudden expression of disappointment.
"WHAAAA!! Then why did ya just describe her to us?!" Donald said after he made his angry yell at Gurgi.
"Oh, master, master, now Gurgi remembers! Yes, yes! Clever, sharp-eyed Gurgi saw the piggy run, right through the forest! Mhmm, mhmm, I saw it!" Gurgi cheered.
"I believe you're looking for this pig?" a familiar voice had said.
"It's him…!" Sora shouted.
Appearing at a distance in front of them was Ienzo, holding Hen Wen with one arm and his lexicon with the other.
"It hasn't truly been that long since our last meeting at Hollow Bastion, has it Sora?"
His book-like mask had begun to suddenly fade, and his face was becoming visible. The silvery bangs of his hair fell forward to cover the right eye, and he smiled at the four.
"I plan to bring this pig to the Horned King myself, and there's nothing you can do about it." Ienzo gleefully told Sora in a way that would bring out his anger.
"Oh yeah?! We'll see about that! After you and Arlene tried to destroy Hollow Bastion, I'm not gonna let you ruin things in this world!" Sora drew both his Keyblades as Donald and Goofy drew their weapons.
"(Ha ha ha..! He has absolutely no idea… Now I'll intentionally release Hen Wen from my grasp so that she'll come to Sora, but make it look like she escaped so he doesn't suspect anything. Then, I'll summon the Rustflier to keep his mind occupied with battle. And after he defeats it, he'll discover the magical object which was conjured from the pages of my lexicon that I gave Hen Wen, not knowing what it REALLY is…)" Ienzo was almost laughing, but he had to control his expressions… Sora might think he was up to something! The inability to feel emotion as a Nobody was something he had almost missed, because it made him all that much harder to read. Yet at the same time… the feeling of a plan coming together had never felt so good to Ienzo!
Chapter 3 Part 2
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Re: Kingdom Hearts: Reborn from the Darkness (Contains BBS and Days spoilers)
Like always nice job on this chapter. I think i'll remention somethings I wrote last time, seeing i'm not sure you got it.
I'm pretty sure 11 years have past seeing BbS was 10 years before KH1 and that was 1 year before kh2 and this story would have taken place write after that so it would be 11 years. Seems you did correct it in the later parts of this chapter, but forgot to change the earlier parts.
Aqua only revered to her self as a master once so i don't think she really would go around calling herself Master Aqua seems kinda strange to me.
Why does the age thing bother her, she isn't really older the world around her has aged and all but she hasn't.
I don't remember Aqua and Cloud meeting she met Zack but not Cloud at least not to my knowledge. This might change after the US release but if you want to keep it close to the existing canon I'd change that. The whole Zack, Cloud , Sephiroth thing confused me did you add that to their past, for your story?
Found it some what strange that she remembered Kairi right away and knew exactly what happened
The “Reunion” between Terranort and Aqua was done nicly I like how she questioned whetter it were even possible to save Terra.
I like how you handled the new world Prydain, as well as the fight between Aqua and Ansem's Heartless. thought it was neat how you added a link to the music you had in your head for this fight.
by the way how far into the story are we? it feels like we're still at the beginning.
Like always nice job on this chapter. I think i'll remention somethings I wrote last time, seeing i'm not sure you got it.
I'm pretty sure 11 years have past seeing BbS was 10 years before KH1 and that was 1 year before kh2 and this story would have taken place write after that so it would be 11 years. Seems you did correct it in the later parts of this chapter, but forgot to change the earlier parts.
Aqua only revered to her self as a master once so i don't think she really would go around calling herself Master Aqua seems kinda strange to me.
Why does the age thing bother her, she isn't really older the world around her has aged and all but she hasn't.
I don't remember Aqua and Cloud meeting she met Zack but not Cloud at least not to my knowledge. This might change after the US release but if you want to keep it close to the existing canon I'd change that. The whole Zack, Cloud , Sephiroth thing confused me did you add that to their past, for your story?
Found it some what strange that she remembered Kairi right away and knew exactly what happened
The “Reunion” between Terranort and Aqua was done nicly I like how she questioned whetter it were even possible to save Terra.
I like how you handled the new world Prydain, as well as the fight between Aqua and Ansem's Heartless. thought it was neat how you added a link to the music you had in your head for this fight.
by the way how far into the story are we? it feels like we're still at the beginning.
Re: Kingdom Hearts: Reborn from the Darkness (Contains BBS and Days spoilers)
I'm gonna read this later. I'm not in the mood to read something right now and my right eye is bugging the hell out of me. It's all red and I need to put in some drops before I go to work. Then I have to shave, get dressed. I'll read it tomorrow when I have my day off and I have nothing to do but get a haircut, relax, and go see Toy Story 3 in theaters.
I'm gonna read this later. I'm not in the mood to read something right now and my right eye is bugging the hell out of me. It's all red and I need to put in some drops before I go to work. Then I have to shave, get dressed. I'll read it tomorrow when I have my day off and I have nothing to do but get a haircut, relax, and go see Toy Story 3 in theaters.
- Joined
- Apr 27, 2010
- Messages
- 169
Re: Kingdom Hearts: Reborn from the Darkness (Contains BBS and Days spoilers)
I corrected those things in the previous chapter, but I also wrote the beginning of this around the same time before I edited the former. I had to go on a trip and then my parents came over for a birthday celebration, so I had been busy and forgot to edit those in this part. Thank you for catching that!
The fact that the world around her has changed so much, along with the fact that she doesn't know about the stasis of a body when its heart is taken and doesn't become a Heartless, is why she is so worried. Yen Sid did bring her up to date on things, but she worries about Ventus and if he's either dead or still okay.
I actually did add to their past, their first meeting will be a flashback in a later chapter, so Cloud's and Sephiroth's meetings with Aqua are going to be expanded upon.
Isn't it also strange that Aqua remembered Sora in the Realm of Darkness? She was informed of Kairi being a Keyblade master and Aqua knew about the Keyblade Inheritance Ceremony and how it works. Plus, I think she'd have noticed if Kairi was touching the Keyblade, but was probably distracted by the Unversed that she was fighting while protecting Kairi during that visit to Radiant Garden.
A thing that's going to be a key to Aqua's character development in this story is that part of her is beginning to lose faith that Terra and Ventus can be saved, and believes that the order of the worlds should be priority to saving them since the last time she saved Terra (when she first saw him after he was possessed by Master Xehanort), Aqua ended up indirectly causing problems for the worlds because then he became Xehanort's Heartless and also created Xemnas.
Another part of Aqua however, wishes to save her friends no matter what, believing that she'll save the worlds as a result of saving her friends because one of them is currently the main problem (Terra possessed by Master Xehanort). She is fighting a struggle from within herself over whether or not her friends can be saved, and you'll be surprised to see what happens as a result of her deep desire to be reunited with her friends.
Did you like that I added music links? Thank you, I always thought it would be more interesting or give another way to enjoy the story if readers wanted to listen to it. Some of it will also help give a feel of familiarity in the fanfic to past Kingdom Hearts games (An example is one of the battle music tracks for later in Kairi's scenario, you'll be able to more easily make a connection to a past event in BBS and it will have Kairi possibly remind the reader in a way of one of the main characters from that game)
by the way how far into the story are we? it feels like we're still at the beginning.[/QUOTE]
We're currently on the first world (Prydain). It's really a long fanfic, I have at least 15 chapters planned for this, then I came up with an idea that might add more depending on if I put it in or not. I'd say we're about 1/8 of a ways into the story.
I have to get back to finishing the next part because I just woke up. I went to bed right after posting part 1 of Chapter 3 because my parents were over at my place for most of the day having a celebration.
I corrected those things in the previous chapter, but I also wrote the beginning of this around the same time before I edited the former. I had to go on a trip and then my parents came over for a birthday celebration, so I had been busy and forgot to edit those in this part. Thank you for catching that!
The fact that the world around her has changed so much, along with the fact that she doesn't know about the stasis of a body when its heart is taken and doesn't become a Heartless, is why she is so worried. Yen Sid did bring her up to date on things, but she worries about Ventus and if he's either dead or still okay.
I actually did add to their past, their first meeting will be a flashback in a later chapter, so Cloud's and Sephiroth's meetings with Aqua are going to be expanded upon.
Isn't it also strange that Aqua remembered Sora in the Realm of Darkness? She was informed of Kairi being a Keyblade master and Aqua knew about the Keyblade Inheritance Ceremony and how it works. Plus, I think she'd have noticed if Kairi was touching the Keyblade, but was probably distracted by the Unversed that she was fighting while protecting Kairi during that visit to Radiant Garden.
A thing that's going to be a key to Aqua's character development in this story is that part of her is beginning to lose faith that Terra and Ventus can be saved, and believes that the order of the worlds should be priority to saving them since the last time she saved Terra (when she first saw him after he was possessed by Master Xehanort), Aqua ended up indirectly causing problems for the worlds because then he became Xehanort's Heartless and also created Xemnas.
Another part of Aqua however, wishes to save her friends no matter what, believing that she'll save the worlds as a result of saving her friends because one of them is currently the main problem (Terra possessed by Master Xehanort). She is fighting a struggle from within herself over whether or not her friends can be saved, and you'll be surprised to see what happens as a result of her deep desire to be reunited with her friends.
Did you like that I added music links?
Thank you, I always thought it would be more interesting or give another way to enjoy the story if readers wanted to listen to it. Some of it will also help give a feel of familiarity in the fanfic to past Kingdom Hearts games (An example is one of the battle music tracks for later in Kairi's scenario, you'll be able to more easily make a connection to a past event in BBS and it will have Kairi possibly remind the reader in a way of one of the main characters from that game)by the way how far into the story are we? it feels like we're still at the beginning.[/QUOTE]
We're currently on the first world (Prydain). It's really a long fanfic, I have at least 15 chapters planned for this, then I came up with an idea that might add more depending on if I put it in or not. I'd say we're about 1/8 of a ways into the story.
I have to get back to finishing the next part because I just woke up. I went to bed right after posting part 1 of Chapter 3 because my parents were over at my place for most of the day having a celebration.
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Re: Kingdom Hearts: Reborn from the Darkness (Contains BBS and Days spoilers)
I guessed something like that must have happened after it started to say 11 years. hope you enjoyed the celebration.
If you put it that way i get it, it just seemed like why she worrying that she's now technically 30isch when she's still in her late teens.
oh I'm looking forward to that, from the sound of it it'll be sad...
I don't know if she really remembered him, but then again time hasn't really past for her so her memories of Sora, Kairi and Riku are probably still fresh.
This sounds fascinating can't wait to see it unfold.
Yeah the only thing that isn't good is that youtube doesn't allow you to auto-reply something... but the music really helps set the mood.
Wow this will be a long story, you really seem to have it planned out nicely it has a good progressing speed, which I find important.
I corrected those things in the previous chapter, but I also wrote the beginning of this around the same time before I edited the former. I had to go on a trip and then my parents come over for a birthday celebration, so I had been busy and forgot to edit those in this part. Thank you for catching that!
I guessed something like that must have happened after it started to say 11 years. hope you enjoyed the celebration.
If you put it that way i get it, it just seemed like why she worrying that she's now technically 30isch when she's still in her late teens.
oh I'm looking forward to that, from the sound of it it'll be sad...
I don't know if she really remembered him, but then again time hasn't really past for her so her memories of Sora, Kairi and Riku are probably still fresh.
A thing that's going to be a key to Aqua's character development in this story is that part of her is beginning to lose faith that Terra and Ventus can be saved, and that the order of the worlds should be priority to saving them since last time she did something like that (As was the case with Terra when she saved him from falling into darkness), she ended up indirectly causing problems for the worlds.
Another part of her however, wishes to save her friends no matter what, believing that she'll save the worlds as a result of saving her friends because one of them is currently the main problem (Terra possessed by Master Xehanort). She is fighting a struggle from within herself over whether or not her friends can be saved, and you'll be surprised to see what happens as a result of her deep desire to be reunited with her friends.
This sounds fascinating can't wait to see it unfold.
Did you like that I added music links?
Yeah the only thing that isn't good is that youtube doesn't allow you to auto-reply something... but the music really helps set the mood.
Wow this will be a long story, you really seem to have it planned out nicely it has a good progressing speed, which I find important.
- Joined
- Apr 27, 2010
- Messages
- 169
Re: Kingdom Hearts: Reborn from the Darkness (Contains BBS and Days spoilers)
Also AdrianXXII, about Aqua calling herself Master:
That was a mistake in the last part of Chapter 2 and part 1 of Chapter 3, which I edited. However, the other characters who know about Aqua and recognize that she is a Keyblade master formally call her that. Aqua doesn't really tell them to "not be so formal" because she realizes that they are comfortable with addressing her that way, but there are going to be times where she does ask for others to simply address by her name.
I forgot to add that to my discussion just above, sorry.
EDIT: I just got back from work today because they called me in, I'm almost finished with the second part of Chapter 3.
Also AdrianXXII, about Aqua calling herself Master:
That was a mistake in the last part of Chapter 2 and part 1 of Chapter 3, which I edited. However, the other characters who know about Aqua and recognize that she is a Keyblade master formally call her that. Aqua doesn't really tell them to "not be so formal" because she realizes that they are comfortable with addressing her that way, but there are going to be times where she does ask for others to simply address by her name.
I forgot to add that to my discussion just above, sorry.
EDIT: I just got back from work today because they called me in, I'm almost finished with the second part of Chapter 3.
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Re: Kingdom Hearts: Reborn from the Darkness (Contains BBS and Days spoilers)
Very good chapter.
I hope they get Terra and Ventus Back. If Xehanort is making another X-Blade, will Sora be included in his plan? And Will Kairi be herself again before Sora says something about her darkness?
Very good chapter.
I hope they get Terra and Ventus Back. If Xehanort is making another X-Blade, will Sora be included in his plan? And Will Kairi be herself again before Sora says something about her darkness?
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Re: Kingdom Hearts: Reborn from the Darkness (Contains BBS and Days spoilers)
Aaaalright. :c Time to smack some heads around here.
oathkeeper, don't advertise your fanfics in other people's fanfic. it's rude.
BriFTW, don't be a jerk about their fanfic regardless. That comment was rude.
Aqualung, next time this happens, come to me.
[Edit: Finished taking care of everything but you guys know what happened. Please don't let it happen again. Thank you. <3]
Aaaalright. :c Time to smack some heads around here.
oathkeeper, don't advertise your fanfics in other people's fanfic. it's rude.
BriFTW, don't be a jerk about their fanfic regardless. That comment was rude.
Aqualung, next time this happens, come to me.
[Edit: Finished taking care of everything but you guys know what happened. Please don't let it happen again. Thank you. <3]
- Joined
- Apr 27, 2010
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Re: Kingdom Hearts: Reborn from the Darkness (Contains BBS and Days spoilers)
Alright, next time I find anything like that happening here I will send you a PM. I told BriFTW earlier that his comment was rude and that he should kindly post constructive criticism for fanfics in their proper threads where it would be on topic. Fortunately, I don't advertise my fanfic in other fanfic topics because my common sense tells me it would be rude and derailing of said topics, but I didn't know that it explicitly wasn't allowed. Not surprising though.
Everyone here should know since you've explained, thank you.
Alright, next time I find anything like that happening here I will send you a PM. I told BriFTW earlier that his comment was rude and that he should kindly post constructive criticism for fanfics in their proper threads where it would be on topic. Fortunately, I don't advertise my fanfic in other fanfic topics because my common sense tells me it would be rude and derailing of said topics, but I didn't know that it explicitly wasn't allowed. Not surprising though.
Everyone here should know since you've explained, thank you.
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Re: Kingdom Hearts: Reborn from the Darkness (Contains BBS and Days spoilers)
I likes it. You really put in great details to the first part of the movie from the Black Cauldron. I can't wait to see what Kiari's part of her journery would be like if you get the chance to write of course.
I likes it. You really put in great details to the first part of the movie from the Black Cauldron. I can't wait to see what Kiari's part of her journery would be like if you get the chance to write of course.
Re: Kingdom Hearts: Reborn from the Darkness (Contains BBS and Days spoilers)
I applaud for this piece here. Hard to believe that Ansem's the Wises Heartless would be the first thing Aqua would have to fight. I would picture him to be fought later on throughout her journey but not from the beginning at least. Like the use of the story monolouge that you took out from the Black Cauldron and also the creativity of creating a new breed of Heartless as well. A smaller yet wirery verison of the Wvvyren Heartless. I wonder what type of Nobody you'll create as well for this world. If you'll be having new Heartless breeds I would be expecting more Nobody breeds. Something like a knight for this word, no wait, I think Samurai's would cover that one. Anyway it's your fanfic story, do as you please. And I too would like to see what a waits Kiari, Riku, and Mickey on their own journey.
I applaud for this piece here. Hard to believe that Ansem's the Wises Heartless would be the first thing Aqua would have to fight. I would picture him to be fought later on throughout her journey but not from the beginning at least. Like the use of the story monolouge that you took out from the Black Cauldron and also the creativity of creating a new breed of Heartless as well. A smaller yet wirery verison of the Wvvyren Heartless. I wonder what type of Nobody you'll create as well for this world. If you'll be having new Heartless breeds I would be expecting more Nobody breeds. Something like a knight for this word, no wait, I think Samurai's would cover that one. Anyway it's your fanfic story, do as you please. And I too would like to see what a waits Kiari, Riku, and Mickey on their own journey.
Re: Kingdom Hearts: Reborn from the Darkness (Contains BBS and Days spoilers)
All right, here's the critique you requested, Aqualung. From just the prologue, I can tell that you have spent a lot of time on this. I honestly can hardly find any real grammar or spelling mistakes, and that's incredible. I can find more grammar mistakes in my own writing.
Because of this, I'm just going to quote things that could be phrased better, and leave my comments below the quote. And yes, I am going to pick at the most obscure nits I can find. This story is definitely one of the better stories on this site right now, and I enjoyed reading it a lot. Here I go...
Okay, overall I really just have two major things to say. First, you need to describe everything more. While describing every character and location arguably isn't necessary in a fanfic, it's a very good habit to get in to, and I can tell you're a good enough writer to do it. In all other fiction, the author must describe every object in the story or the reader won't know what it is, so IMO authors should have to do that in fanfiction too. And here you also don't describe actions very well. Where you say, 'Sora had to fly the gummi ship out to the ocean, then barrel roll to get them off', you could say 'Sora screamed as Kairi hit his windshield, and he quickly piloted the ship over the water to prevent her from hurting herself should she fall. As the blurry-eyed girl continued to pound on the glass, Sora gently turned the steering wheel, slowly sliding her off into the ocean below.' That not only adds more detail about what is happening, but it adds tension and emotion to it... which just happens to be my next point.
Several parts of this story could use more emotion. I'm not saying the story itself needs to be more dramatic, but you should use more intense words and better descriptions when you are relating a character's thoughts. People like Roxas , Sora, and Kairi have some really emotional moments here, but your descriptions of their thoughts seem very calm and collected. If they were really emotionally distraught, they wouldn't be thinking quite that logically. Try and relate thoughts like the character would actually think them. If the character is really mad, his thoughts should be angry, obviously, but they also should be doing things like blaming others for everything, fantasizing about revenge, and stating bluntly why things are unfair or stupid. Their thoughts wouldn't be very orderly at all.
So yeah, that's it! This seems to be a very well-written story. I'm not a huge fan of the narrative voice you use (universal omniscient, which relates the thoughts of all of the characters, and reveals info that the characters don't know), but you do a decent job of it, aside from the use of names that aren't needed (TAV). The story is starting rather predictably, but it sounds like things will get interesting soon. And I'm sorry this critique has taken so long. You can blame Super Mario Galaxy 2 and my parents spending every waking hour on the computer for that. It's not my fault I swear. Okay, maybe I just procrastinated a bit too much... Anyway, if you want me to critique more I can, I just want to work on some of the other stories on the humongous critique list first, so it'll be a while. Thanks, and keep writing.
All right, here's the critique you requested, Aqualung. From just the prologue, I can tell that you have spent a lot of time on this. I honestly can hardly find any real grammar or spelling mistakes, and that's incredible. I can find more grammar mistakes in my own writing.
Because of this, I'm just going to quote things that could be phrased better, and leave my comments below the quote. And yes, I am going to pick at the most obscure nits I can find. This story is definitely one of the better stories on this site right now, and I enjoyed reading it a lot. Here I go...
Okay, overall I really just have two major things to say. First, you need to describe everything more. While describing every character and location arguably isn't necessary in a fanfic, it's a very good habit to get in to, and I can tell you're a good enough writer to do it. In all other fiction, the author must describe every object in the story or the reader won't know what it is, so IMO authors should have to do that in fanfiction too. And here you also don't describe actions very well. Where you say, 'Sora had to fly the gummi ship out to the ocean, then barrel roll to get them off', you could say 'Sora screamed as Kairi hit his windshield, and he quickly piloted the ship over the water to prevent her from hurting herself should she fall. As the blurry-eyed girl continued to pound on the glass, Sora gently turned the steering wheel, slowly sliding her off into the ocean below.' That not only adds more detail about what is happening, but it adds tension and emotion to it... which just happens to be my next point.
Several parts of this story could use more emotion. I'm not saying the story itself needs to be more dramatic, but you should use more intense words and better descriptions when you are relating a character's thoughts. People like Roxas , Sora, and Kairi have some really emotional moments here, but your descriptions of their thoughts seem very calm and collected. If they were really emotionally distraught, they wouldn't be thinking quite that logically. Try and relate thoughts like the character would actually think them. If the character is really mad, his thoughts should be angry, obviously, but they also should be doing things like blaming others for everything, fantasizing about revenge, and stating bluntly why things are unfair or stupid. Their thoughts wouldn't be very orderly at all.
So yeah, that's it! This seems to be a very well-written story. I'm not a huge fan of the narrative voice you use (universal omniscient, which relates the thoughts of all of the characters, and reveals info that the characters don't know), but you do a decent job of it, aside from the use of names that aren't needed (TAV). The story is starting rather predictably, but it sounds like things will get interesting soon. And I'm sorry this critique has taken so long. You can blame Super Mario Galaxy 2 and my parents spending every waking hour on the computer for that. It's not my fault I swear. Okay, maybe I just procrastinated a bit too much... Anyway, if you want me to critique more I can, I just want to work on some of the other stories on the humongous critique list first, so it'll be a while. Thanks, and keep writing.
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Re: Kingdom Hearts: Reborn from the Darkness (Contains BBS and Days spoilers)
holly crap, this is the fanfiction I´ve ever read in my life. Congratulations, you should dedicate to do more fanfiction or become a writter(seriously talking). I see a great potential in you, keep going.
holly crap, this is the fanfiction I´ve ever read in my life. Congratulations, you should dedicate to do more fanfiction or become a writter(seriously talking). I see a great potential in you, keep going.
Re: Kingdom Hearts: Reborn from the Darkness (Contains BBS and Days spoilers)
do you know when the next part will be done? i'm dying to read more! keep up the good work!
do you know when the next part will be done? i'm dying to read more! keep up the good work!
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