• Hello everybody! We have tons of new awards for the new year that can be requested through our Awards System thanks to Antifa Lockhart! Some are limited-time awards so go claim them before they are gone forever...

    CLICK HERE FOR AWARDS

Fanfiction ► Kingdom Hearts: Hearts in Unison (Chapter 68 posted)



REGISTER TO REMOVE ADS
Status
Not open for further replies.

BlackOsprey

Hell yeah
Joined
Jul 5, 2015
Messages
4,525
Awards
20
Whew, good to know that this isn't one of those fics that the author won't continue.
I decided to read over some parts of this a bit more slowly and carefully over the last few days. Since I wasn't speedrunning to find out what would happen next, I took in more of it, and of course, new thoughts popped up.

First of all, just by reading this, I wouldn't know that English isn't your first language. You have a strong command over the language... Stronger than a lot of native English speakers that I know. Of course, it's not completely impeccable. There are a few oddly worded sentences here and there, and some dialogue sounds a bit off coming from certain characters, but those would matter only if you were really being nitpicky about it.

And since the English is strong with this one, the scenes you create with them aren't bad at all either. I recall that, some several dozen posts back, you wanted to make the narrative read like a "mental cutscene." Since I'm able to picture what's going on clearly in my head, I'd say you succeeded in that field. It certainly helps that I already know what a lot of the characters look and act like, but your writing doesn't completely bank on that assumption and gives me plenty of details. The actions scenes are good for these same reasons, as well as lasting long enough and having enough dynamic to grab and keep my interest.

Oh, and while the action scenes are great, the parts that you call "fluff"- those scenes with Roxas and Ventus, the "twins"- those are probably my favorite parts of this fic. It might be because I always liked Roxas to begin with, and Ventus is depicted as a Woobie- a character so frail and helpless, it's endearing. Judging from your sig, you're a big-time Ventus fan, and it really shows because of the amount of care and detail you put into those scenes. Oh, and the "twins'" interactions are adorable. If an avid shipper found this, Roxas x Ventus would probably become their OTP quickly.

Another thing I liked for some reason: your fic has stayed fairly minimal with OC's. At this point, I think the only ones we've had are the virus-hybrids from Space Paranoids (unless they're from the actual movie... never did watch it) and the personification of Sora's darkness, and even then, Evil-Sora is more of a different take on a pre-existing concept than an original fabrication. Otherwise, I've always felt some surge of excitement when a character I thought was going to be an OC suddenly pulls out a weapon that I recognize. I mean, Lightning! Hope! Zidane! It's good to see you guys! Especially when you all stay in-character so well!

So that's all I really got to say. When you're a KH fan, you tend to learn how to be patient, so I'll wait. Really hoping that this'll pick up again sometime this month.
 

Sephiroth0812

Guardian of Light
Joined
Oct 22, 2010
Messages
10,523
Awards
37
Location
Germany
Whew, good to know that this isn't one of those fics that the author won't continue.
I decided to read over some parts of this a bit more slowly and carefully over the last few days. Since I wasn't speedrunning to find out what would happen next, I took in more of it, and of course, new thoughts popped up.

First of all, just by reading this, I wouldn't know that English isn't your first language. You have a strong command over the language... Stronger than a lot of native English speakers that I know. Of course, it's not completely impeccable. There are a few oddly worded sentences here and there, and some dialogue sounds a bit off coming from certain characters, but those would matter only if you were really being nitpicky about it.

And since the English is strong with this one, the scenes you create with them aren't bad at all either. I recall that, some several dozen posts back, you wanted to make the narrative read like a "mental cutscene." Since I'm able to picture what's going on clearly in my head, I'd say you succeeded in that field. It certainly helps that I already know what a lot of the characters look and act like, but your writing doesn't completely bank on that assumption and gives me plenty of details. The actions scenes are good for these same reasons, as well as lasting long enough and having enough dynamic to grab and keep my interest.
There's already quite some pre-planned stuff for this story, not to mention that I never intended for it to have such huge gaps in chapter releases.
Great, I love getting detailed feedback on the story. ^__^

I'm honest when I say that I'm also rather nitpicky on double- or even triple-checking some parts after I wrote them in order to try and weed out grammatical and/or spelling errors. Sometimes, I even re-write entire sections of a chapter because I feel the current formulations were "off".
Odd wording in some sentences often comes from issues when I think about the situation at hand in a German mindset while still using English vocabulary. In German, the sentence would most likely be completely fine, but there are some things that are simply not worded the same way in English despite having the overall same meaning as the German variant.
Yea, that's one of my pet peeves that every so often in a while some characters tend to sound overly formal or polite in ways that may fit characters such as Yen Sid, Ansem the Wise or Eraqus, but certainly none of the younger major characters.
I suspect the reason for this and also partly the odd wording stems from most of my experience with the English language coming from written English and works that contain actual spoken English often have mostly scripted dialogue.
I've close to no real experience with actual casual English "slang" if one wants to call it that, neither in British nor American English, that is used by English-speaking youths or kids.

Indeed, it's my primary drive to make the descriptive text and the dialogue as lively as possible and enable the readers to easily visualize the characters and the setting in their minds.
Since I'm also vastly dissatisfied with how sloppy the actual KH series is with providing focus to interesting major characters other than Lea, Xehanort and Riku, this story is set up with the thought in mind to give many characters a fair share of spotlight and importance in the overaching setting.
This is also the main reason why the story gets so long, as after I got feedback from several readers who clearly enjoyed my way of paying attention to details I decided to flesh out some "side" story arcs in the same manner as the main arcs involving the KH original characters.
For example, Braig's own "Mini-arc" involving Space Paranoids was at the beginning not planned to be this detailed and the "virus-hybrids" would have been introduced later in the story when Sora & co. first meet them with Tron's Fate and the events in Space Paranoids handled only in small flashbacks.
A yes, the fighting/action scenes, those are, alongside the ones involving much emotional drama, the scenes I find to be the most difficult to write. With battle scenes you have to strike a delicate balance as if they're too short, they serve no real purpose and only distract from the plot while when they're too long in one go, they can get boring for the reader especially if it isn't an emotional duel between characters but a battle against "mooks" like standard Heartless, Nobodies or Unversed. I still remember that I adjusted the battle in the Realm of Darkness where Aqua and Sephiroth team up against an army of mooks after their own duel several times in length until I felt that a good compromise was reached between single and area-of-effect attacks used.

Oh, and while the action scenes are great, the parts that you call "fluff"- those scenes with Roxas and Ventus, the "twins"- those are probably my favorite parts of this fic. It might be because I always liked Roxas to begin with, and Ventus is depicted as a Woobie- a character so frail and helpless, it's endearing. Judging from your sig, you're a big-time Ventus fan, and it really shows because of the amount of care and detail you put into those scenes. Oh, and the "twins'" interactions are adorable. If an avid shipper found this, Roxas x Ventus would probably become their OTP quickly.

Another thing I liked for some reason: your fic has stayed fairly minimal with OC's. At this point, I think the only ones we've had are the virus-hybrids from Space Paranoids (unless they're from the actual movie... never did watch it) and the personification of Sora's darkness, and even then, Evil-Sora is more of a different take on a pre-existing concept than an original fabrication. Otherwise, I've always felt some surge of excitement when a character I thought was going to be an OC suddenly pulls out a weapon that I recognize. I mean, Lightning! Hope! Zidane! It's good to see you guys! Especially when you all stay in-character so well!

So that's all I really got to say. When you're a KH fan, you tend to learn how to be patient, so I'll wait. Really hoping that this'll pick up again sometime this month.
Heh, I'm glad if you like the "fluffy" scenes this much because they're easily among those I put the most work into, partly because I find them as challenging to write as a battle scene, but also because I always strive to get the right "mix" of emotions in those situations as I've seen so often scenes meant to be tugging at heartstrings falling flat in other media (not only in the KH series) because they use either too little or too much emotional reactions from all characters involved.
If we talk about the situations between Roxas and Ventus in particular, there are certain overaching story reasons both of them are depicted in the way they are and that Ven's heart is still in such a pitiful shape after ten years has also to do with these reasons.
While it is true that I have a certain fondness for Ventus and developed somewhat of a mental "big brother-complex" towards him, I do not actually have a single favorite character in the KH series which also helps me tremendously in my goal to give many of the characters their share of spotlight.
Their interactions are definitely intended to be adorable and/or even intimate to some degree, yet not really in the romantic sense.
I do get though that depending on the interpretation their relationship and interactions so far can serve as a hooking point for someone who's into shipping and I frankly have no problem with that as long as the original intention is kept in mind and there are no expectations for anything NSFW to actually happen in the story. ;D
Headcanons are free after all and while I'm not really into shipping, I have no problems with it in general or even reading the ocassional FanFic involving some. It's only when things get obnoxious and shippers start to try and force a pairing into actual canon, turn nearly everything regarding certain characters into shipping topics or get into pairing wars when my mood gets sour...and then most often really sour.

That's another thing I will be honest with, as I actually tend to view selfmade OCs very critically and I won't even read most fics where OCs have central roles when they are set in an already established universe with an already diverse own main cast. It happens way too often that OCs take over the story completely with the original main characters of the work in question getting reduced to side characters or even worse just satellite love interests for the OCs.
The virus-hybrids are indeed completely new characters, and thus OCs of mine, who will play a certain role during the story with also some small tidbits from their viewpoint, but their main purpose is actually tied deeply to Xehanort and partly Ansem the Wise and they serve more to shed more light on a situation regarding them instead of being truly major characters on their own.
"Anti-Sora" is indeed a more detailed take on both Sora's Heartless and Anti-Form from KH II. He actually serves as the main antagonist (or "Disc One Final Boss" if we talk in TV Tropes) for the first part of the trilogy, as Sora cannot possibly save anyone or confront Xehanort until "Anti-Sora" is dealt with in some way.
Yea, Vanitas may have created this being but among those two "Anti-Sora" is right now the bigger threat.

If this is really how you felt about the introductions of the new major support characters like the additional Final Fantasy-cast it makes me truly happy as this is exactly how the entrance of those characters is intended to work.
The tagline of the first Kingdom Hearts of "You'll never know who you run into next" was what inspired me to write it like this, although the one "running" into these characters is not Sora or one of the other major KH-OCs yet, but the reader. ^__^

Thanks for all this great feedback. ;)
I'll definitely try to get the next chapter up this month.
 

Sephiroth0812

Guardian of Light
Joined
Oct 22, 2010
Messages
10,523
Awards
37
Location
Germany
It has been truly ages, but finally here it is, the next chapter.
Let's take a look at Yen Sid's further strategic planning, Kairi finally reaching the King and more trouble brewing ahead.

#####

LXIII. Hesitation is not the way

Mickey shook his head in visible worry.
The whole situation is developing into a very uncertain and possibly dangerous direction way faster than I ever imagined. Even though Sora acted much like he always does, I could feel that his heart is in much inner turmoil.

"Understandable if Riku's heart is again host to a foreign Darkness, isn't it?" Minnie stated calmly.
"That's not it, Sora's heart was like that the moment they arrived here, way before the incident with Riku." Mickey answered.

Yen Sid let out a hum as he nodded slowly.
"Even more reasons to not proceed as we originally planned. Our first priorities now are twofold: First is to gather as much intelligence on our known and unknown adversaries while at the same time be on a lookout throughout the worlds.for any suspicious activity. Second is to determine both Sora's and Riku's current condition and if necessary, take measures to save their hearts.
What had you originally planned for tomorrow, Mickey?"

"Well, during breakfast I wanted to brief them on some important topics like the return of Xehanort, the tormented ones connected to Sora and what we learned in the datascape. After that, I wanted to allow Sora, Riku and Kairi as well to enter the datascape and meet Data-Sora and Data-Riku in order to get some more first hand information.
It took us quite some work, but with the combined efforts of Data-Riku and Gyro Gearloose we managed to restore the whole journal and the memories of Data-Sora that were lost during the reset of the journal.
I originally intended to do the briefing already today, but since they took so long to get here, I figured it would be better to let them rest for the night."

Yen Sid nodded again.
"That was a wise decision, also in light of the recent incident with Riku. I believe that we can proceed with this part as planned, but I need you to pay close supervision Mickey, on both Sora and Riku.
Furthermore, have you contacted Leon yet?"

"Alright Master, then we shall proceed like planned. I'm afraid I haven't yet managed to reach Leon at Radiant Garden. The restoration work there took up quite some speed and as the main organisator of it he's travelling from one end of the city to the other and back all times."

"Master Yen Sid, on the point of 'suspicious activity' in worlds I think I have already something to report. The numbers of the Heartless are growing again in several worlds, and while one may be tempted to see it as a general sign of the powers of Darkness gaining strength, their actual dispersion across the worlds is odd as they seem to spawn only on select few places on each world." Freya addressed the powerful wizard.

"The walls of the worlds are back in place! How can they still enter on their own accord?" Firion scratched his head in wonder.
"Who can confirm that they enter on their own accord?" Freya answered with a raised brow.

"Indeed, this can be controlled by some higher power." Merryweather agreed.
"Xehanort, Maleficent or that ominuous third source?" Minnie's expression had gotten harder.

Mickey tapped on the table anxiously.
"Most likely, and that means our adversaries are likely to be several steps ahead of us. Another issue that irks me is that my ability to see Sora's or Riku's hearts with mine seems to grow weaker, as if something's superimposing it."

Yen Sid's eyes widened a little as he stroked his beard for another time.
"As I feared the problems pile up faster and much more manifold than ever before, which is why I choose to activate some more outside support in advance, support that is familiar with and can also move nearly unhindered in Darkness. They should arrive here at the Tower pretty soon if Launchpad is not slacking off."

"Familiar with Darkness, can move unhindered in it?" Paladius expression changed into a sterner one.

"Just as a friendly advice Master Yen Sid, if Launchpad is involved you better make sure your Tower stands on a firm foundation."
Scrooge stated in a deadpan tone, ignoring Paladius.

"I trust in his flying skills. Wasn't it you yourself who praised them and recommended him as a scout for our cause?"
Yen Sid raised a brow in mild surprise.

"Launchpad McQuack and Darkness? That doesn't really go together." Minnie mused while scratching her temple.
"Oh, his flying skills are indeed top quality. It's the landing one should be worried about!"
"I'm quite sure he won't crash into the Tower, will he?" Fauna asked a bit worried.
"No worries, Master Yen Sid won't allow a calamity like that." Flora reassuringly patted the other fairy's shoulder.

"That being settled, going back to the topic of watching the worlds and checking Heartless infestations, we should probably do some research on that and look for any similarities in the spots they spawn more frequently in order to what?"
Paladius was interrupted by the door to the conference room flying open with a wham.

"Your Majesty, I need your immediate assistance! Sora and Riku, they are in terrible pain!" Kairi cried out between huffs.

Both Mickey and Scrooge jumped from their seats in unison.
"Squeeze me bagpipes, what's all the racket of a sudden, young Lady?"
"What? Oh no, how come I didn't sense any danger about their hearts?"

Kairi's glance wandered shortly towards Scrooge, remembering Duckworth.
"Ah yes, Mr. McDuck, your Butler's here with some urgent news for you as well!"

"Duckworth? Quacka wacka this is turning into quite a bothersome night. Excuse me for some moments."
Scrooge gripped his cane, put on his top hat and hurried out of the room to meet Duckworth while both Mickey and Minnie jogged over towards Kairi.

"Oh dear, what happened to them?" Minnie reached the Princess first and placed one hand soothingly on one of Kairi's.

"I don't really know, Riku was just tumbling and stating that his heart aches while Sora is all agitated and constantly screaming at someone or something to let him in. I can feel the pain they are in though and I don't know what to do or how to help."
As she blurted out those words in a haste Mickey's expression visibly darkened while Minnie sighed.

"It's worse than we feared. Paladius, Freya, Firion, I have to ask you to work on our agreed course of action alone for now. I need to see what I can do to help Riku and Sora. Master Yen Sid."

The sorcerer raised his left hand and shook his head.
"No more words needed, Mickey. Do what needs to be done. You have my approval to use all measures you deem necessary. In the meantime I will see to have your backs covered with all allies and resources I can properly mobilize."

Still holding Queen Minnie's hand, Kairi addressed Yen Sid as well.
"So, you are the great Yen Sid!? Have you any idea what could be wrong with them?"

The other persons in the room were a bit baffled at her direct approach, but Yen Sid only showed an expression of comfort.
"I'm afraid that there's something attacking them from inside either one or both of their hearts, at least that's what I can say from the summary of symptoms you gave us. With Mickey's abilties though you should be able to stabilize them. Do not worry too much, Princess, you are not as helpless or inapt as you convince yourself to be. In fact, your own heart and your close connection to them can also be of great use to help their recovery."

"That's right! Show me the way, Kairi. Together, we will save them at once." Mickey chimed in with determination.

Processing the situation in its entirety by now Paladius raised from his chair and gave Yen Sid a small affirmative nod before turning towards Mickey, Minnie and Kairi.

"Don't worry your Majesty, leave the outside worlds to us for now, we'll keep Master Yen Sid informed of everything we come to know."

"Alright then, let's meet again later this day at Master Yen Sid's Tower to discuss the division of labour between us and the additional support he mentioned." Firion cut in from one side.

"Great, I'm placing my trust into you guys, well then, see ya later." Mickey answered and walked towards the door, waving at Kairi to come along.

The Princess was distracted for a moment as hers and Paladius gazes met.
I can feel a strong aura radiating from this guy, a bright aura full of light. His heart must be very strong and filled with light but this light isn't really warm or comfortable, it's rather stern and rebuffing, like a sort of barrier.

Mickey giving her a slight puzzled look was however enough to shake Kairi out of the short-lived absent-minded state as she remembered the urgency of the situation.

This isn't the time for anymore hesitation!

Without any further words, she joined Mickey and they both rushed down the stairs of the Tower.

---

At Yen Sid's Tower, the three fairies gave each other another worried look while Yen Sid himself let out a short sigh as the connection to Disney Castle ended, turning his eyes towards an observer standing in the back of the room near the door.

"As you heard, the situation is more dire than we anticipated."

"Obviously. Looks like the enemy is forcing us into a two front-situation and attacking our most valuable assets, the Keyblade Wielders, directly from the inside."

Yen Sid stroke his beard again.
"While I am not convinced that it is the same enemy doing this, the assessment of our current situation couldn't be more accurate, which is why I need to rely on people who can freely move and access the Darkness as well. Once our other allies arrive, we have to discuss another way to gather intelligence, a way not even Mickey, Paladius and the others know of.
Resorting to this additional measures might be the only possibility for us to catch up with the enemy factions who are already several steps ahead of us."

---

Mickey and Kairi had already reached the big colonnade again as Chip and Dale came running in from the other side.

"Your Majesty, your Majesty, the Cornerstone of Light is totally going nuts!" Dale squeaked, jumping up and down.

"Whatcha saying? What's up with it?"

"It started to glow brighter and brighter all of a sudden." Chip reported.

Kairi turned to the King with a questioning look.
"What's the Cornerstone of Light?"

"A magical artefact that's part of the Castle's defense mechanism. Chip, Dale, go to the Queen with this information and also try to wake Duchess Daisy. Sora and Riku are in danger so I can't handle the problem personally right now."

"By your command!" The chipmunks squeaked and rushed past them while Kairi and the King continued into the other direction.
They didn't cross more than two metres as they stopped in their tracks, catching sight of a hooded figure entering the colonnade from the same entrance as the chipmunks did.
Mickey immediately summoned his Keyblade.
"A black coat? Who are you? How could you enter this Castle?"

The figure didn't answer, but stiffened at seeing Mickey's Keyblade. It went into a battle stance, summoning two glowing blue energy blades in each hand in a backhanded grip.

#####
 
Last edited by a moderator:

BlackOsprey

Hell yeah
Joined
Jul 5, 2015
Messages
4,525
Awards
20
tumblr_n9wcufmvks1reats2o1_500.gif


But it's aliiiive! Seeing this show up in the Creative Writing bar had me giddier than a ghoul in a morgue.

And just when it seems like things can't get worse, a wild Trollanort appears! Where the heck did he come from? How and why is here? Is a wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey ball to blame for this yet again?! (Oh god the cliffhangers are killing me here.)

I'll admit, it's been so long, I had to backtrack a little to remind myself on who the FF faces are. Paladius is the Warrior of Light from FF1... Firion is that one guy from FF3 (right...?), and Freya... is she that "Luna-Freya" of FFXV that I've heard so much about?

So, other than Trollanort showing up at the end, it looks like there haven't been many major developments. But hey, this means this fic is still going, and that's enough to delight me. I didn't see any major technical issues other than a random typo or two. If I wanted to get nitpicky, there were a few times where some characters had dialogue that sounded a little strange coming from them... For example, in this line

Yen Sid said:
They should arrive here at the Tower pretty soon if Launchpad is not slacking off.”

a phrase like "pretty soon" sounds odd coming from a character like Yen Sid, who usually talks in rather formal language. But hey, that's not a major issue and it didn't really detract from the story.
 

KingdomKey

Gold Member
Joined
Sep 25, 2010
Messages
6,265
Awards
26
Age
30
Xemnas? This is who I imagine to be there at the end with the two energy blades. It's so good to see a new chapter after so, so long. C: <3 This was a great chapter! I'm curious about the cornerstone of light going out of whack. Furthermore, I don't know much about Duckworth. So, I wonder how that'll go. With that in mind, it's exciting to see Kairi and Scrooge McDuck have a lot to say in this chapter. Really exciting stuff going on. I hope you update again!
 

Sephiroth0812

Guardian of Light
Joined
Oct 22, 2010
Messages
10,523
Awards
37
Location
Germany
tumblr_n9wcufmvks1reats2o1_500.gif


But it's aliiiive! Seeing this show up in the Creative Writing bar had me giddier than a ghoul in a morgue.

And just when it seems like things can't get worse, a wild Trollanort appears! Where the heck did he come from? How and why is here? Is a wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey ball to blame for this yet again?! (Oh god the cliffhangers are killing me here.)

I'll admit, it's been so long, I had to backtrack a little to remind myself on who the FF faces are. Paladius is the Warrior of Light from FF1... Firion is that one guy from FF3 (right...?), and Freya... is she that "Luna-Freya" of FFXV that I've heard so much about?

So, other than Trollanort showing up at the end, it looks like there haven't been many major developments. But hey, this means this fic is still going, and that's enough to delight me. I didn't see any major technical issues other than a random typo or two. If I wanted to get nitpicky, there were a few times where some characters had dialogue that sounded a little strange coming from them... For example, in this line



a phrase like "pretty soon" sounds odd coming from a character like Yen Sid, who usually talks in rather formal language. But hey, that's not a major issue and it didn't really detract from the story.

Heh, I'm also pretty relieved that I finally managed to get it going again. Now it remains to be seen if I also manage to get the one-chapter-every-second-week schedule back on track as well.

Yep, it is indeed the Mysterious Figure from BBS, yet I won't actually confirm that it is Time-Trollanort from DDD.
If you may recall, Hearts in Unison starts directly after Re: Coded as I planned the story originally around the time when Re: Coded was the latest release, thus everything happening in DDD is non-canon when applied to this story.

Paladius is the Warrior of Light from FF I indeed, although this name is an original creation by me as I don't know if he even has a true name in actual FF canon.
Firion is the main Protagonist of FF 2 (you're just one number off, lol), also known as the walking weapon arsenal:
Spoiler Spoiler Show

In this setting, he's an old acquaintance of Yen Sid and forms a sort of "trio" with Paladius and Freya.
They serve as a scouting team and, if neccessary, combat backup for Yen Sid's forces and can thus be considered as immediate allies to Sora and his friends.

As for Freya, she's a character originating from Final Fantasy IX, a spear-wielding dragoon from the race of the rat-people (Burmecians):
Spoiler Spoiler Show


The Cornerstone of Light going crazy and the additional allies Yen Sid plans to receive in his Tower may also be considered relatively major, but all in all this is indeed a transistory chapter that serves mainly to conclude the strategy conference started in the chapter before. And yea, of course, the black coat guy showing up is indeed the Mysterious Figure from BBS, but it is NOT DDD-Trollanort. ;)

Heh, funny you picked something from that part as the small scene taking place in Yen Sid's Tower where he talks with that yet unknown character was the part I did rewrite most often because it didn't sit right with me.
Looks like I overlooked something there, lol.
Any suggestions what might sound more Yen Sid-like in this situation?

Xemnas? This is who I imagine to be there at the end with the two energy blades. It's so good to see a new chapter after so, so long. C: <3 This was a great chapter! I'm curious about the cornerstone of light going out of whack. Furthermore, I don't know much about Duckworth. So, I wonder how that'll go. With that in mind, it's exciting to see Kairi and Scrooge McDuck have a lot to say in this chapter. Really exciting stuff going on. I hope you update again!

It's the Mysterious Figure from BBS confronting Kairi and Mickey, Xemnas is right now busy strolling back to Xehanort with the shard-piece he acquired after his battle with Lightning.
Be assured that I certainly feel bad for how long I kept readers hanging without new stuff to read. I'll try to remedy that for good.

The cornerstone going crazy is indeed an important issue that will be addressed in short order and lead to some interesting developments. There is a certain reason why it is going nuts just in this night.

About Duckworth, I think I already posted a picture of him, but maybe you'll get a better impression on how he is when actually watching a bit of Ducktales, the show where he hails from.
This piece is from the very first episode of Ducktales which also shows how Donald's nephews came to live with Scrooge:
[video=dailymotion;xjppir]http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xjppir_ducktales-s01-e01-don-t-give-up-the-ship-part-1-of-5_shortfilms[/video]

What I can already reveal is that the whole setup with Scrooge and Duckworth is preparation for a later arc in which Sora and co. will actually visit Duckburg, the main setting of Ducktales.

I'll try to get some measure of regularity up here again, I promise. ^__^
 
Last edited:

BlackOsprey

Hell yeah
Joined
Jul 5, 2015
Messages
4,525
Awards
20
Heh, I'm also pretty relieved that I finally managed to get it going again. Now it remains to be seen if I also manage to get the one-chapter-every-second-week schedule back on track as well.
Crossing my fingers on that one.

Yep, it is indeed the Mysterious Figure from BBS, yet I won't actually confirm that it is Time-Trollanort from DDD.
If you may recall, Hearts in Unison starts directly after Re: Coded as I planned the story originally around the time when Re: Coded was the latest release, thus everything happening in DDD is non-canon when applied to this story.
Stiiill... even back when Trollanort was just the Mysterious Figure, time-travel shenanigans were implied by his weapons, which resemble hands of a clock crossed with blue lightsabers, and the Keyblade you receive after beating him, No Name, whose appearance pretty much screams with time motifs. I think the chronokinetic aspect goes back further than DDD...

But now that I know that this one is different from the one we all know, I'm really interested to see your non-DDD take on Trollanort.

Heh, funny you picked something from that part as the small scene taking place in Yen Sid's Tower where he talks with that yet unknown character was the part I did rewrite most often because it didn't sit right with me.
Looks like I overlooked something there, lol.
Any suggestions what might sound more Yen Sid-like in this situation?

Hm... something like "They should arrive here at the Tower soon, if Launchpad is not idling about."

Old, wise mentor-figures like Yen Sid, at least in my mind, normally speak in very formal structures, and they tend to use long, complicated, or just uncommonly used words and phrases when they talk to sound all wise and old. A thesaurus is your best friend for that sort of thing; I looked up "slacking off" and got the idea to use "idle" there. Really, a minor tweak in structure or word choice can do the trick for most of those awkward sentences.

Considering that English isn't your first language, it's pretty admirable that those are the biggest issues that have cropped up. It's kinda funny how there are just so many unofficial yet understood "rules" that govern spoken English, now that I actually have to think about them for once.

By the way, if you ever need help with getting technicalities like wording or structure right, I'd be happy to help. I'm very familiar with casual spoken English, especially the kind spoken by adolescents, since I'm stuck in a building full of it on a near-daily basis. :D
 
Last edited:

Sephiroth0812

Guardian of Light
Joined
Oct 22, 2010
Messages
10,523
Awards
37
Location
Germany
Crossing my fingers on that one.

I do too, I do too.

Stiiill... even back when Trollanort was just the Mysterious Figure, time-travel shenanigans were implied by his weapons, which resemble hands of a clock crossed with blue lightsabers, and the Keyblade you receive after beating him, No Name, whose appearance pretty much screams with time motifs. I think the chronokinetic aspect goes back further than DDD...

But now that I know that this one is different from the one we all know, I'm really interested to see your non-DDD take on Trollanort.
That is right. However, I consciously choose to forego any significant time travel scenarios in the story because I figured it would make things too complicated.
While I am aspiring to give readers a true "KH"-feeling and "imaginable cutscenes" from the text, I also intend to not repeat Nomura's error of adding too many twists to a single arc/scenario.

Heh, I'm actually looking forward to how people will react to that one. ;)

Hm... something like "They should arrive here at the Tower soon, if Launchpad is not idling about."

Old, wise mentor-figures like Yen Sid, at least in my mind, normally speak in very formal structures, and they tend to use long, complicated, or just uncommonly used words and phrases when they talk to sound all wise and old. A thesaurus is your best friend for that sort of thing; I looked up "slacking off" and got the idea to use "idle" there. Really, a minor tweak in structure or word choice can do the trick for most of those awkward sentences.

Considering that English isn't your first language, it's pretty admirable that those are the biggest issues that have cropped up. It's kinda funny how there are just so many unofficial yet understood "rules" that govern spoken English, now that I actually have to think about them for once.

By the way, if you ever need help with getting technicalities like wording or structure right, I'd be happy to help. I'm very familiar with casual spoken English, especially the kind spoken by adolescents, since I'm stuck in a building full of it on a near-daily basis. :D

Alright, I'll correct that part sometime on the coming weekend.

That is indeed how most wise mentor figures tend to speak and while I do tend to always have a translator around (like dict.cc) to look for words and do test translations if what I have throught about in German can really be said that way in English, I haven't yet added a thesaurus. Should probably consider fixing that, lol.

Due to doing it several years by now, I would actually consider at least my written English to be somewhat decent by now.

Thanks of the offer, I might certainly come back to it when the need arises. ^__^
 

MsKeybladeMaster

New member
Joined
Aug 11, 2015
Messages
14
This is by far one of the best fanfics I've ever read. So well written and I love the creative story line. Also your English is really good! I didn't realize it was a secondary language for you until I read the comments! Very well done, please keep going!!! :)

PS I love the Ven/Roxas bits :D
 

Sephiroth0812

Guardian of Light
Joined
Oct 22, 2010
Messages
10,523
Awards
37
Location
Germany
This is by far one of the best fanfics I've ever read. So well written and I love the creative story line. Also your English is really good! I didn't realize it was a secondary language for you until I read the comments! Very well done, please keep going!!! :)

PS I love the Ven/Roxas bits :D

Thank you very much, I'm glad you're enjoying the ride. ^__^

Heh, nice to hear, it will be quite some time until we get back to Ven and Roxas though, right now the central focus is on Kairi and King Mickey to an extent.

---

It took again longer than I wanted to, but the next chapter is finally here: The King faces off against the Mysterious Figure from Birth by Sleep, and the emphasis does lie on "mysterious" indeed. ;P

#####

LXIV. Hidden powers and a trial

“Key…blade!? Keyblade, weapon of salvation and ruin!” The stranger’s voice had a weird echo to it and the aura emanating from the person made Kairi feel uneasy.
It’s a strange feeling, like this figure is not fully corporeal. Fleeting, unstable even.

As if he wanted to answer her thoughts, the figure seemed to blur and fade out shortly before returning in a weird, shimmering effect.
King Mickey also went into a battle stance.
“I’ll rather not have a fight if it can be avoided, but I’m asking you again: How could you enter this Castle unnoticed and who are you?”

It was impossible to ascertain any expression of the stranger under the hood of the black coat, but Kairi could deduce from the body language that he, at least she thought from the body shape that it was a he, was apparently not so sure about how to react as well.

He tilted his head a little before speaking with a soft, echoing voice again.
“I am but a fleeting seeker. Searching for the Originator.”
Uh what? Come again?
The Princess stared at the Mysterious Figure with a raised brow, unable to make any sense of his words.

Mickey gave the figure a blank look before he clenched his free hand to a fist in visible frustration.
“Could you be a little more specific? I’m kind of in a hurry right now and have no time for riddle games.”
“A hurry? Could it be because of the two hurting hearts that I can feel wincing inside these walls?”

“What? Does that mean you have something to do with it?” Kairi snapped angrily, fixating the figure.
He turned his head slightly towards her.
“You…should not jump to conclusions so easily. I merely stated what I can see with my heart in this location. Just like I can see that you are one of the seven natural pure lights, one that is so tangled up and confused in worries to not even realize your own powers on the brink of awakening.”

At this Kairi’s uneasiness increased by another level, she instinctively taking a step backwards.

Beside her Mickey’s expression had changed into a mix of frustration and worry.
Gosh, this fella is really creepy, he seems to have no difficulty at all to see other hearts directly, even accurately deducing what’s going on in Kairi right now. That’s normally an ability reserved for true Keyblade Masters and on top one that should NOT be used freely and abundantly.
Furthermore, he can see Sora’s and Riku’s hearts while I can’t!? How? I have not only the abilities of a true Keyblade Master at hand, my heart is undoubtly firmly connected to both their hearts too.
So why can he see them when I cannot? Who or what is this guy?
“Hey, what’s the meaning of all this? I am not aware of any Originator even having set foot inside this Castle, but if you’re not intentionally going to block us I would ask you to leave and let us get to our task.”

The figure turned his gaze back to Mickey.
“One who knows nothing can understand nothing. Your abilities are hampered, o Keyblade Master, by the Princess standing beside you herself, although if intentionally or of mere ignorance too I can only speculate.”

“What???”
Kairi and Mickey shouted in unison.

I’m blocking abilities of the King? But that’s…nonsense, isn’t it?

Impossible! There’s no logic in Kairi blocking my abilities. Except if she does it without consciously knowing, perhaps?
After all, what the powers of a Princess of Heart entail is not fully explored even by the oldest and wisest Keyblade Masters in existence.

“Do you seek answers? Be informed though that these won’t come just flying to you.” The figure spoke on.

“Damnit, zip it you weirdo! My best friends are in pain and need help. We have no time to play guessing games!”
Kairi could feel her uneasiness getting replaced by anger the longer this went on.

“Those things are connected, Princess, but in letting your emotions get the better of you, you fail to see it. Why you consider me an obstacle in your quest is beyond me as mine has nothing to do with yours, but since most people learn best under pressure, let me then become an obstacle in the hopes you’ll realize the truth in time.
Go to the Cornerstone, and maybe you’ll understand.
Meanwhile, I shall also provide his Majesty with a chance to understand, if he’s up to the task that is.”

With the last sentence the Figure suddenly jumped backwards and blasted an orange X-shaped projectile from his blades into Mickey’s direction.

The King brought his Keyblade around and blocked, the projectile shattering on impact.
“Well, if you insist…
Kairi! Looks like we’ve got no choice, join Queen Minnie, Chip and Dale at the Cornerstone, I’ll drive this guy out of here.”

With bitterness the Princess realized that there was no point in arguing anymore as the King advanced, Keyblade held high, while the figure launched a roaring Tornado that sweeped down the colonnade.

Mickey avoided it with a high double jump and blasted three holy projectiles at the figure from the air, forcing him to dodge aside.
He kept up the pressure as he landed, directing several blade swings at his adversary in order to force him more to the side, away from the entrance.
“Now Kairi! Go, the Cornerstone chamber is directly under the throne in the great throne room at the other side of the courtyard.”

“But your Majesty, what about…”
“Don’t you worry about me, whatever it may be you’re unintentionally blocking, it does not affect my battle abilities.” Mickey interrupted her with confidence, dodging a frenzied combo of the figure’s energy blades with several flips and small jumps.

Landing behind the foe, Mickey swirled around in the blink of an eye and started a combo of his own so fast the stranger could barely block, driving him back.

Kairi used this opportunity to slip past the pair and ran out into the courtyard.

As the King swung for the finisher though, the figure suddenly dashed backwards so quickly in a shimmering fashion that it almost looked like he teleported.
The shimmering did not subside until the figure had spawned four copies of itself which immediately rushed at the King with glowing blue blades.

“Uh-oh.” Mickey exclaimed as he strung together several double jumps to avoid their combos.
The original adversary meanwhile summoned several glowing orbs that floated around the colonnade.
“If your Majesty does not take this serious enough you’ll get a very rough wake up-call.”

Suddenly the orbs started to fire spears of energy in Mickey’s general direction, the first salvo of which he blocked by using Reflega in midair.
Dodging a swing of one of the clones as he landed, the King send out a shockwave of light energy which destroyed two of the clones instantly.

Another whirlwind came soaring at him, shot by the third clone while the fourth blasted another X-shaped projectile.
Mickey jumped over the whirlwind, deflecting the projectile with a timed swing of his Keyblade, sending it back at the fourth clone instead of shattering it.
This however brought him right into the path of the second salvo of energy spears from the orbs, sending him flying across the colonnade.

“Aw, ouch, that hurts.” The King catched himself right before crashing into the wall, landing with another flip roughly ten metres away from the figure and his two remaining clones.
One of the clones rushed forward right again while the spear orbs also floated into his direction.
Before he could do anything else there was a sudden very loud “blam”-sound and the rushing clone bursted into energy particles, defeated.

“Blast me bagpipes, what’s this racket all about you’re cooking up here, spooky fella?”
Scrooge McDuck shouted at the mysterious figure, holding an ancient looking blunderbuss.

Mickey jumped in surprise.
“Scrooge!? What are you doing?”
“Helping ye out of course, let’s throw that fella out of our domain!” Scrooge reloaded his blunderbuss and stepped two more steps forward.
The mysterious figure gave him an odd glance.
“Now what’s that supposed to mean?”
The last clone unleashed another X-shaped projectile which Mickey blocked again while Scrooge blasted the clone apart with another loud shot from his blunderbuss.
“It means we’re throwing your trespassing behind outta here, dimwit”, he shouted back at the figure before turning towards Mickey.
“I tasked Duckworth with waking Donald and Goofy, they should arrive here soon as well. Where’s Princess Kairi?”

“I sent her to the Cornerstone chamber for safety. It also seems that it going haywire has something to do with Kairi’s hidden powers…watch out!”

The orbs released a third salvo of energy spears which Mickey blocked by several quick Reflega-castings while Scrooge took cover behind one of the big marble pillars of the colonnade.

“Energy shooting orbs!? Skittle me kilts, that’s some nasty hocus pocus.“ Scrooge exclaimed in a mix of anger and surprise, unloading another shot from his gun at one of the orbs which didn’t have any effect at all.

“I see you have some very brave companions, little King.” The figure stated in an almost solemn tone. “Well, this shows me I will certainly not find the Originator here, but I’d still like for you to find out why I can see the two hurting hearts so clearly despite being not connected to them in the slightest.”
With these words he jumped high into the air and transformed one of his blades into something that looked like a very long energy whip.
Lashing it out towards Mickey, the King dashed forward right under him, avoiding the attack.

“Aeroga!”
Unleashing a mighty Wind spell from directly under his opponent, Mickey caught his opponent by surprise, the impact smashing the figure into one of the walls.

He knows what is at stake and yet continues to play such “games”? Gosh, I really don’t get this guy.

To the King’s surprise the crash into the wall had not fazed his opponent much at all as he softly let himself fall to the ground, again shortly blurring in that shimmering effect.

Scrooge blinked a little irritated and adjusted his pince-nez glasses.
“Blinking out like a ghost that fella. Just what kind of entity are ye?”

The stranger raised his blades into a battle stance again before answering towards both Mickey and Scrooge.
“Good question. Maybe that’s what you ought to find out.”

It sounded almost like an invitation and Mickey’s expression changed into a suspicious one with narrowed eyes.
Does that mean he’s not human? A Nobody? Or what...?

“Well then, let’s continue!” The figure stated softly and blasted a fireball towards Mickey and Scrooge.
Uh-oh, can it be? A Mega-Flare attack? Damn it!

#####
 
Last edited:

Venx

New member
Joined
Sep 6, 2015
Messages
327
Age
27
Location
Germany
Oh man, I just found out about that thread and I really wanna read it. These are just a huge amount of chapters since 2011, but I'll try to find some time to read everything and say what I think!
 

BlackOsprey

Hell yeah
Joined
Jul 5, 2015
Messages
4,525
Awards
20
OHMYGODOHMYGODIT'SANEWCHAPTERYES

Uh. Sorry about that. Guess recent events have built up a lot of anticipation, and a new chapter was completely unexpected.

So, even though I know that your Mysterious Figure is different from the one we all know and hate, he still is very worthy of the nickname Trollanort. He just waltzes in, starts acting all cryptic and stuff, teases protagonists, and generally pisses everyone off. Oh, and then he starts pulling off the usual fighting moves and rambling about an "Originator," which probably has something to do with piecing the X-Blade back together again, if I'm not mistaken or misremembering...

Also, Mickey Mouse and Scrooge McDuck vs. Trollanort. Never saw it coming, but nice. After fighting Trollanort so many freakin' times in DDD, throwing in a mouse who fights like Yoda and an old duck with gadgets and a Scottish accent into all that makes for a crazy image. Crazy in a good way. I had to look up what a blunderbuss was, though. XD

Go, Kairi! Prove that you can do important protagonist stuff just like everyone else!

I might nitpick on things like structure and syntax once I get back home. Anyways, great job as usual. Always nice to have some nice things after slogging through life.
 

Sephiroth0812

Guardian of Light
Joined
Oct 22, 2010
Messages
10,523
Awards
37
Location
Germany
Oh man, I just found out about that thread and I really wanna read it. These are just a huge amount of chapters since 2011, but I'll try to find some time to read everything and say what I think!

Just take your time and read in a comfortable pace. ;)
It is a rather huge project for sure, but since most readers that commented on the story like my rather detailed style I choose to shorten as little as possible.
Looking forward to your eventual opinion on it. ^__^

OHMYGODOHMYGODIT'SANEWCHAPTERYES

Uh. Sorry about that. Guess recent events have built up a lot of anticipation, and a new chapter was completely unexpected.

So, even though I know that your Mysterious Figure is different from the one we all know and hate, he still is very worthy of the nickname Trollanort. He just waltzes in, starts acting all cryptic and stuff, teases protagonists, and generally pisses everyone off. Oh, and then he starts pulling off the usual fighting moves and rambling about an "Originator," which probably has something to do with piecing the X-Blade back together again, if I'm not mistaken or misremembering...

Also, Mickey Mouse and Scrooge McDuck vs. Trollanort. Never saw it coming, but nice. After fighting Trollanort so many freakin' times in DDD, throwing in a mouse who fights like Yoda and an old duck with gadgets and a Scottish accent into all that makes for a crazy image. Crazy in a good way. I had to look up what a blunderbuss was, though. XD

Go, Kairi! Prove that you can do important protagonist stuff just like everyone else!

I might nitpick on things like structure and syntax once I get back home. Anyways, great job as usual. Always nice to have some nice things after slogging through life.

Hehe, yea, I thought that after the KH news are a little slow to come through this time I'll provide some other interesting thing to look at.

That was done with full intention actually, although what I can reveal already is that the trolling of this Mysterious Figure is truly neutral in nature and nothing inherently malevolent.
You are correct in remembering the term "Originator" being already around earlier in the story, specifically in Braig's mini-arc. This obviously hints at some sort of connection, but what exactly this is would be a spoiler.

Including Scrooge also has some story reasons as while he's not a major character, he has an important support role to play and it fits as in Disney canon he's not someone to shy away from fighting even supernatural adversaries, both in the comics and in Ducktales.
If the Mysterious Figure would get truly serious though Scrooge would have of course a big problem.
You'll laugh as I had to look up the English term as well as I only knew the German designation for this particular type of gun. It's Scrooge's traditional weapon besides his cane (he uses the blunderbuss more often in comics than Ducktales though), so I decided to equip him with it to play a sort of assistant role.

Soon there are some very interesting developments in store regarding Kairi, as together with Naminé, King Mickey and Queen Minnie she will not only help Sora and Riku recover from their current predicament, she will also buy all of them some time by working (indirectly) together with Xion.

Alright, do it when you feel like it. ;)
 

Muke

whatever
Joined
Nov 30, 2014
Messages
6,108
Awards
39
Location
Vienna
So, I stumbled across this FF here, and I've gotta admit:
This is so great! Even though I am only in the beginning (Chapt. 3), I can tell that this is awesome.
Keep up the great work! ;u;
 

BlackOsprey

Hell yeah
Joined
Jul 5, 2015
Messages
4,525
Awards
20
Alll righty then. I'm no editor, but why not get some practice.

*several minutes later* ... Ahahaha. So uh, there's actually not too much to pick on here. For the most part, the structure is sound. A few things though...

There's this one phrase that's popped up in this and the previous chapter... "went into a battle stance." Nothing inherently wrong with it, but it's always good, when you can, to avoid more general words like "went," especially when you're being very descriptive. Maybe rephrase it like "dropped into a battle stance," or maybe even describe the act itself.

“Well then, let’s continue!” The figure stated softly and blasted a fireball towards Mickey and Scrooge.
Uh-oh, can it be? A Mega-Flare attack? Damn it!

Dunno if "stated" is the right word here. "Let's continue" is more lie a suggestion or demand. I'd probably sub in "muttered," "said," or even just omit "stated softly and" altogether.

Also a minor thing, but "Damn it" sounds like a strange phrase to be coming from Mickey. Whether you keep it or not is up to you, though.
 

kuraudoVII

D'oh, I missed!
Joined
Feb 20, 2014
Messages
1,974
Awards
1
Location
Somewhere in Castle Figaro...
“Blast me bagpipes, what’s this racket all about you’re cooking up here, spooky fella?”
Scrooge McDuck shouted at the mysterious figure, holding an ancient looking blunderbuss.

Best part of the entire chapter, bar none.

Seriously, this is a really good chapter. I love the twist that this Mysterious Figure isn't the same, but how hilariously trollish the character still is. I'm also really interested in who exactly this Originator is.
 

KingdomKey

Gold Member
Joined
Sep 25, 2010
Messages
6,265
Awards
26
Age
30
Looks like Mickey has his hands full on this one. I kind of feel bad for the fella and Kairi. Neither of them have the time or patience to deal with an intruder in the castle with Sora and Riku in pain. I wonder what Kairi will discover at the Corner Stone of Light? This figure certainly is mysterious, but his attacks, they're kind of familiar. Either way, this chapter was well worth the wait, and I hope to see more. C: <3
 

Sephiroth0812

Guardian of Light
Joined
Oct 22, 2010
Messages
10,523
Awards
37
Location
Germany
So, I stumbled across this FF here, and I've gotta admit:
This is so great! Even though I am only in the beginning (Chapt. 3), I can tell that this is awesome.
Keep up the great work! ;u;

Heh, thank you, it's always nice to see new people getting interested in the story.
I'm looking forward to your assessment of the story once you've catched up. ;)

Alll righty then. I'm no editor, but why not get some practice.

*several minutes later* ... Ahahaha. So uh, there's actually not too much to pick on here. For the most part, the structure is sound. A few things though...

There's this one phrase that's popped up in this and the previous chapter... "went into a battle stance." Nothing inherently wrong with it, but it's always good, when you can, to avoid more general words like "went," especially when you're being very descriptive. Maybe rephrase it like "dropped into a battle stance," or maybe even describe the act itself.



Dunno if "stated" is the right word here. "Let's continue" is more lie a suggestion or demand. I'd probably sub in "muttered," "said," or even just omit "stated softly and" altogether.

Also a minor thing, but "Damn it" sounds like a strange phrase to be coming from Mickey. Whether you keep it or not is up to you, though.

Ah yea, the "do-not-repeat-the-same-wording"-rule, lol. I'm very picky to not start sentences always the same way, yet I seem to be somewhat sloppy with it in some other instances. <__<

As for the dialogue of the Mysterious Figure, I realized that the main thing wrong there is actually the Exclamation mark at the end. I used "stated" as the verb mainly because the Figure is supposed to let these words out in a really bored, detached tone and unleash the Mega-Flare with just a fast flick of his hand.
The approach to omit the whole thing does sound tempting though.
*scribbles note in my notepad*

Well, Mickey is a little agitated that the enemy just casted a very devastating spell in the middle of his home, but maybe there is something more "Mickey-like" to convey that?

Note that while I haven't changed the actual released chapters yet, I do keep track of these things in my internal material for reference.

Best part of the entire chapter, bar none.

Seriously, this is a really good chapter. I love the twist that this Mysterious Figure isn't the same, but how hilariously trollish the character still is. I'm also really interested in who exactly this Originator is.

It may have something to do with that I always was a vivid watcher of Ducktales and thus know a little about Scrooge McDuck acts, so he won't be really easily intimidated by some weird guy in a black coat, lol.

Due to the whole plot of DDD being omitted the actual name and background of the Mysterious Figure may be different, but it doesn't mean that there aren't any connections to already existing characters. ;)
"Originator" is actually not an official title, beings who use this title refer to something and someone they all share a similar connection with.

Looks like Mickey has his hands full on this one. I kind of feel bad for the fella and Kairi. Neither of them have the time or patience to deal with an intruder in the castle with Sora and Riku in pain. I wonder what Kairi will discover at the Corner Stone of Light? This figure certainly is mysterious, but his attacks, they're kind of familiar. Either way, this chapter was well worth the wait, and I hope to see more. C: <3

Yea, the King is pretty frustrated at the moment as everything comes at once AND then the ante is further upped by new complications.
While I won't spoil anything yet, it has indeed something to do with Kairi's powers...the Mysterious Figure wasn't lying!
Soon Naminé and Xion will also get involved and there will be some more hints towards how heart connections may be used.

Well, the Mysterious Figure IS the BBS secret boss, but his background is completely different due to Hearts in Unison starting after Coded and ignoring DDD completely.

Glad you liked it, I'll certainly try to keep this more regular updating schedule going. ^__^
 

Sephiroth0812

Guardian of Light
Joined
Oct 22, 2010
Messages
10,523
Awards
37
Location
Germany
Well a new chapter is definitely on my Christmas list ^_^ best fanfic ever

Heh, then let me grant that Christmas wish, lol.

It's finally here, chapter 65:


#####
LXV. Essence?

"Scrooge! Stay behind that pillar!" Mickey shouted in alarm, running down the colonnade to bring some distance between them before starting again some Reflega-casting in quick succession.

The flying fireball impacted on one of the barriers and erupted into a massive fiery explosion engulfing nearly the entire colonnade, shaking the castle itself.

Unfortunately the duration of the explosion way outlasted the protective barrier and with a pained outrcy the King was tossed through the air before crashing hard onto the floor.

Several burn marks were visible across Mickey's clothes and the effort it took him to stand up again indicated that this attack had done considerable damage.
"Now don't disappoint me, little King. This cannot be all you're capable of. A real true Keyblade Master can withstand even a Mega-Flare."

Mickey shook his head quickly to get rid of any dizziness before returning to his usual battle stance.
"Does it look like I couldn't withstand this to you? In that case you need to pay closer attention!"
With renewed vigor the King rushed at the figure, Keyblade held high.

"That's the spirit!"
The figure shot another X-shaped energy projectile which Mickey simply overjumped, countering with two Holy projectiles himself.

"Without getting close up you'll never get an answer!" The figure taunted as he dodged one projectile and blocked the other before again turning one of his blue energy blades into a whip-like weapon.

He swung the energy whip around in a circle creating multiple waves of energy which Mickey dodged with more zig-zagging jumps.
Coming into range the King unleashed a Thunder Surge, blasting right into the figure.

It was the first time the black-coated entity let out something akin to a pained outcry, indicating actual damage.
"Not bad!" He mumbled.
After landing behind the figure Mickey immediately swirled around and let a wide swiping horizontal Keyblade strike follow, which was met by a Reflect spell of his opponent.
He has Reflect too?
With a pained yelp Mickey was blasted back by the Counter Blast.
The damage is reaching worrisome levels. It's time to heal!

Scrooge had by now left the cover of the pillar and blasted more blunderbuss shots at the figure which he dodged or blocked, forcing him to divert his focus.

"Waaaak! That's enough of all this commotion already! We'll teach you to not attack our King! Cura!" Donald's thundering voice sounded through the colonnade as a healing spell was cast onto both Mickey and Scrooge.

"Monstrous moneybags! Right on time, nephew!" Scrooge shouted with enthusiasm.
"Gawrsh, watch out bad guy, here comes some punishment!" Goofy hollered as he came rushing down the colonnade in his pyjamas, ramming the figure out of the way with his shield.

"Take that, Fira!" Donald added and with another flick of his wand a fireball was sent into the opponents direction.

"Donald! Goofy! What a pleasant surprise." Mickey exclaimed as he made his way up to his two most loyal retainers.
"After Duckworth woke us up we met Kairi on our way here and she filled us in on what's going on, and gawrsh is this an unpleasant night." Goofy explained in a hasty tone, the pompom of his nightcap falling over one of his eyes in the process.

Mickey sighed.
"Gosh, I'd say that unpleasant might even be an understatement considering how many things come rushing at us all at once."

Donald gave him an concerned look.
"So that means everything that was planned regarding that exam Master Yen Sid wanted to hold!"
"Is postponed until further notice, yes." Mickey finished with a grim expression.
"And this black-coat enigma seems to be just the icing on the cake!"

As if that had been a cue the mysterious figure had regained his composure, yet didn't continue attacking.
Instead there was a soft chuckle hearable.

"Waak!? Are you laughing about us?" Donald quacked angrily.

"Can you really blame me? The sight of you two coming running in here loudly like a herd of rampaging elephants while wearing these 'stylish' nightgowns certainly does have some amusing quality to it.
On the more serious side though I can see just how full of conviction and brave determination your hearts are and they shine truly brightly with a powerful light. And you can see these hearts too, your Majesty, can you not?"
The figure made some sweeping hand gestures as he addressed first Donald and Goofy, then Mickey again.

"Of course I can, but why would you mention th- wait, if I can see Donald's and Goofy's hearts but not Sora's and Riku's?"
Mickey jumped in realization.

"Bingo! Your abilities in this field are hampered only for certain hearts it seems. Remember what I said about the Princess doing it?"
The figure answered in a matter-of-fact voice.

"Kick me kilts, what a load of baloney are you blabbering about yet again? You're making as much sense as the Beagle Boys after several bottles of rum." Scrooge McDuck interjected in irritation.

Goofy looked around between all present with as much if not more irritation before his glance settled on Scrooge's old blunderbuss.
"Oi, I don't really get what he's talking about either, but Donald, maybe this is a good opportunity to finally try out that new spell Merlin taught ya two weeks ago. What was it? Weapon encampment, en-encasement, err, encashment?"

"Enchantment!" Donald corrected in mock annoyance with a wagging index finger.
"But you're right. Show me that gun, Uncle Scrooge."

"What do ye want with it? It's only about thirty years old and still works just fine, nephew." Scrooge boasted.

"But it can't shoot magic, can it? That's what I can make it do with my new spell." Donald explained as he waved his wand around another time, shooting some magic dust that trickled over the blunderbuss.

Meanwhile both Mickey and the figure had stepped towards each other again.
"Now there remains only one thing for you to find out, little King. And that is why I can bypass the 'barrier' the Princess powers have erected around those two hearts, or rather, why I can see all those hearts despite not being a Keyblade Master."
The words of the figure were spoken in an excited, almost anticipating tone.

The King gave him a dismissing snort.
"I'm not really interested in playing anymore guessing games or partake in some weird experiments. In fact the way you act, the way you propose theses and assumptions strongly remind me of Xehanort."

"Xehanort!? Hmm, that name does ring a bell somewhere, but only faintly."
The figure tilted his head shortly as if in deep thought.
"However, I've already told you that this could be over already if you would just quit playing around with long range magic attacks. Overcoming obstacles and engaging in experiments may indeed be annoying, but it serves to be the best and most lasting learning experience that there is!"

"Here ye have magic attacks!" Scrooge intervened and blasted another shot from his blunderbuss, this time shooting a non-elemental magic projectile due to Donald's enchantment spell.
"Take a hint already and hit the road, you annoyance!"

"Waaak! Blizzara!" Donald followed up with an ice spell right after.

"Unwitting simpletons, not even paying attention." The figure snarled as he blocked both attacks with his blue energy blades.
"Gawrsh, you don't understand, coat-guy, we just have so much on our plates already that there's no time for any lengthy experiments." Goofy added as he dashed at the figure again, shield held high.

The figure jumped over Goofy, but Mickey met him halfway into the air.
"If you want melee, you'll get melee if only to make you finally back down and leave."

To the great amazement of Scrooge, Donald and Goofy the King and the figure engaged in a fierce midair flurry of bladestrikes, exchanging more than twenty blows before finally touching the floor again.

The figure rushed forward in a quick combo which Mickey blocked halfway, countering with an extended combo of his own Keyblade, all the while making little jumps and flips left and right to change the angles of his strikes.

If the opponent didn't have two blades to react with, the King's massive offensive combos would have already overwhelmed his defenses.

"Now that's what I was talking about!" The figure stated in satisfaction, suddenly surrounding himself with three roaring pillars of flame.

Combining his two blades to a double-bladed energy sword he started to meet Mickey's attacks head on, the Raging Storm surrounding him giving him some extra leverage.

"Hah, I can play that game too." Mickey declared and summoned up his own variant, Holy Storm, which had three pillars of Light energy instead of fire.

"Uh oh, looks like it is going out of hand." Goofy mumbled with a worried expression.

The figure and Mickey half-glided, half-ran all over the colonnade as they continued to exchange heavy blows, both with their blades and the energy storms surrounding them.

This is truly alarming. He doesn't even show the slightest glimmer of exhaustion or even effort at all, as if stamina and bodily limits are a non-issue to him, I get the feeling that the question what he is might be the most pressing issue here.

Letting himself fall back a little Mickey focused his energy, uniting the three Light pillars into one single entity that he blasted towards the figure as a single broad shot.

The figure merged his flame pillars into a wall and used his blades in addition to block this massive attack, which Mickey used to run across one of the walls and slam his Keyblade into the figure's hip from the side.

There was a gasp, then Mickey felt something tingling in his sword hand as his weapon sliced through the opponents form, a blood-like substance leaking out of the cut that wasn't really blood.
Im-Impossible!?

The mysterious figure let out a howling cry of pain as he turned towards Mickey and punched him away with fierce energy.
"Arrrgh, cursed, wretched Keyblade! This weapon is truly the only thing that can actually affect me in a lasting manner in this layer of reality. Do you NOW understand?"

"It can't be, this form of existence only exists in theories! Can it really be that you are an essence???" Mickey's whole expression was one of disbelief and badly concealed horror.

#####

To be honest I had to rewrite some parts of this chapter more than once and there may still be some parts that sound a little off as despite Mickey's role getting bigger as the KH series went on I'm still not sure I can capture "serious" Mickey good enough.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top