Help/Support ► Just Friends

[megatron532]

I feel really stupid doing this, but I would like some outside perspective on this topic. Basically what happened was I recently realized I have feelings for a really close friend of mine. I've been losing sleep over this and I've been thinking about her constantly. It kind of makes me feel stupid. Anyways, I want to know if you think I should tell her or just let it go and try to move on. We're real good friends and I don't want to mess up our friendship.

I feel really uncomfortable talking about this with people I don't really know.

 

[kh2kingman94]

You're 15, right? If you honestly cannot stop thinking about her with your feelings coming out everywhere, you might as well tell her now. If you want to save your relationship as it is now and your feelings are mere sparks, I'd wait until last year of school, if you're in school that is.

 

[Reflection]

if u cant fight the feelinggg

u gotta tell her~

 

[Nutari]

if u cant fight the feelinggg

u gotta tell her~

And accept the consequences. Who cares if she freaks out? That means she wasn't a good friend to begin with.

 

[Reflection]

she wont freak out she'll look back on it when she's going to college and think "ah~ young love~ at least i truly was an attractive young girl" and it will help her self-esteem i promise

because none of my friends ever told me they liked me and now i feel like an old hag and the one guy i did like turned out to be GAY ;__; SO YOU GOTTA TELL HER

 

[KeyofEvil'sBane]

Maybe even explain your situation to her. Tell her that you haven't been able to stop thinking about her, but also emphasize the fact that you don't want to hurt her by saying this. I've gone through this, and I was rejected, but let me tell you, it makes things so much better to get things off your chest, and will actually make things less awkward in the long run.

 

[Nutari]

she wont freak out she'll look back on it when she's going to college and think "ah~ young love~ at least i truly was an attractive young girl" and it will help her self-esteem i promise

because none of my friends ever told me they liked me and now i feel like an old hag and the one guy i did like turned out to be GAY ;__; SO YOU GOTTA TELL HER

Hah. Well guess what, I'm sure you are attractive. Plus you just seem to have a thing for gay men.

 

[megatron532]

My main concern isn't rejection. If she were any other girl I'd tell her, but we're real close and no matter what ends up happening things will be different between us and I don't really want things to be awkward because I don't have very amny friends.

 

[Reflection]

welp that's just something you gotta decide then. it is already different because you're holding this back from her.

but it's not something anyone can help you with. good luck!

 

[Silverslide]

don't just shove that thought down. just tell her that you kind of have a crush on her, it's not going make your relationship with her crumble immediately

 

[Jesus]

I don't understand the anxiety of rejection. If she says no then at least you can say that you tried and hopefully those nagging thoughts of yours will go away.
Hopefully

 

[CaptainKchuckles]

Follow your heart, bro. You'll be bullshitting yourself anytime you're around her if you don't get what is on your chest off.

 

[ShailsTDSPT]

Didn't Kingdom Hearts teach us to follow the heart?

 

[Jesus]

Didn't Kingdom Hearts teach us to follow the heart?

Hahahahaha
Let's just live life by this philosophy.

 

[ShailsTDSPT]

Hahahahaha
Let's just live life by this philosophy.

We shouldn't always do it, otherwise we would be kupoed. But in cases like this it is best to do it ^^

 

[megatron532]

I think I'll let her know next time I see her, which might be a while since she's busy this week and is going on a servant trip all next week. I'm gonna try and say it as casually as possible.

 

[Silverslide]

try to tie it in with the current conversation too. don't just bring it up out of nowhere

 

[theirlosthearts]

try to tie it in with the current conversation too. don't just bring it up out of nowhere

Yeah, you definitely don't want it to come out of nowhere, but make sure you aren't too casual in bringing it up either. Make sure she realizes that it's important to you so she'll take you seriously.

And yeah, it will be different if you tell her about it, but any negative effects from telling her (and those are ifs) are seriously outweighed by the long term effects of keeping it all inside.

Here a quote from an anime that seems to sum up what you've said you want in this situation:

"If there is something that the person I like can be happy about, more so than liking me in return, I want that person to stay happy, the way it was meant to be. Of course, I would be happy if the person I like likes me back, but…for me, seeing that person stay happy brings the biggest happiness." - Tomoyo from Card Captor Sakura, from the sig of MegaWallflower

Just something to think about. I hope everything works out for you!

 

[megatron532]

try to tie it in with the current conversation too. don't just bring it up out of nowhere

I've heard something like that somewhere else before. I don't think it'll be that hard to do, considering this is a topic we've joked about in the past.

Here a quote from an anime that seems to sum up what you've said you want in this situation:

"If there is something that the person I like can be happy about, more so than liking me in return, I want that person to stay happy, the way it was meant to be. Of course, I would be happy if the person I like likes me back, but…for me, seeing that person stay happy brings the biggest happiness." - Tomoyo from Card Captor Sakura, from the sig of MegaWallflower

Just something to think about. I hope everything works out for you!

That quote is exactly how I feel. I just want her to be happy, if she feels the same way about me then that's great, but it's not top priority.

And thanks everyone for all the feedback.

 

[Annoyance]

I feel really stupid doing this, but I would like some outside perspective on this topic. Basically what happened was I recently realized I have feelings for a really close friend of mine. I've been losing sleep over this and I've been thinking about her constantly. It kind of makes me feel stupid. Anyways, I want to know if you think I should tell her or just let it go and try to move on. We're real good friends and I don't want to mess up our friendship.

I feel really uncomfortable talking about this with people I don't really know.

Okay oh god no I know exactly how you feel about this.
For a long time in my friendship to my friend Nik, I have went from a crush to just, complete stupid feelings for him and I could not shake them at all even though I knew for a fact he wouldn't even be good for me anyways.

ANYWHO. He knew. He knew the entire time and since we were so close and dependent on the other, we tried not to make a big fuss about it. We fought a lot, I cried a lot, ruined myself over him. There were a couple nights of me just bawling my eyes out to him because of how much I hated myself, how much I loved him, and of course, all he could really say was "I know, Sabrina, I know." and comfort me. I was too important to him to get rid of like that. We couldn't let it ruin us, and eventually, I did get past it, I got over him, and I'm in an amazing relationship with my boyfriend now. Nik and I are still very close and supportive of each other. He's in a great relationship now, too.

I don't think you should let her go, but maybe lay it on the table. Even though Nik knew, I confessed to him and it made things a lot easier on me. On us, as friends, too.
If she cares about you, she won't leave over that, but it could get awkward sometimes. It's a very tough situation. Are you prepared for her to not like you back like that? Like are you content with just being close friends? Or lose her completely?
I'm sorry for ranting about myself, but I just want to show how painful it is, how hard it is, but that it is possible to be just friends if you really do care about that person. Nik is like a brother to me and it's strange saying that, sure, but I was way too stubborn to lose him.