- Joined
- Apr 21, 2005
- Messages
- 3,777
- Age
- 35
Well let me give you the rundown. Really, I'm a nice person. No, really.
People have a tendancy to come to me with their problems. Or more accuratly, I have a tendancy to want to help people with their problems. This has grown into quite a trend thus people now do tend to come to me if they need to talk.
However.
Over time, I've dispensed a lot of advice to a lot of people. And the majority of those people nod their heads, smile weakly, thank me for my help, and say they're going to do everything we talked about. And then they dont. Do. Anything. And then they come back to me upset over a problem that they believe is completly different but is obviously stemming from the same source as their previous one. Having changed nothing. Having done nothing. Still thinking in the same patterns they were. They didn't even try to take my advice. So I help them again.
The same thing happens. They keep coming back with the same problem from slightly different perspectives. I keep rephrasing the same things I told them. And they tell me they've listened and understood. And it cycles again.
Today I told someone who told me she was going to slit her wrists to go and do it, and to run one past her throat while she was at it. Why? Because I'm tired and sick of it. They don't listen to me. They don't understand what I say. All they want is attention. All of them. With their myriad of problems which they ceaselessly tell others about. The problem is, this is spilling over into my relationships with people who do want and need my help. Take, for example, my mother, who recently split up from my father and is taking it pretty hard. I've been avoiding talking about her problems with her, even though she talks about them whenever I see her, because I know I'm going to get frustrated and be a bastard to her.
Tell me.
How do I get through to the people who won't help themselves?
I've come to only one solution. Expose them to the harsh reality of the situation in it's entirety. Confront them with their shortcomings ruthlessly, usually by shouting, telling them how pathetic their problems really are, and showing them just how useless it all is, until they either start to understand the reality of the situation, or give up.
Most give up.
But maybe, just maybe, after they've stopped crying and thinking of ways to kill me for being so cruel to them, maybe something of what I said will sink in.
People have a tendancy to come to me with their problems. Or more accuratly, I have a tendancy to want to help people with their problems. This has grown into quite a trend thus people now do tend to come to me if they need to talk.
However.
Over time, I've dispensed a lot of advice to a lot of people. And the majority of those people nod their heads, smile weakly, thank me for my help, and say they're going to do everything we talked about. And then they dont. Do. Anything. And then they come back to me upset over a problem that they believe is completly different but is obviously stemming from the same source as their previous one. Having changed nothing. Having done nothing. Still thinking in the same patterns they were. They didn't even try to take my advice. So I help them again.
The same thing happens. They keep coming back with the same problem from slightly different perspectives. I keep rephrasing the same things I told them. And they tell me they've listened and understood. And it cycles again.
Today I told someone who told me she was going to slit her wrists to go and do it, and to run one past her throat while she was at it. Why? Because I'm tired and sick of it. They don't listen to me. They don't understand what I say. All they want is attention. All of them. With their myriad of problems which they ceaselessly tell others about. The problem is, this is spilling over into my relationships with people who do want and need my help. Take, for example, my mother, who recently split up from my father and is taking it pretty hard. I've been avoiding talking about her problems with her, even though she talks about them whenever I see her, because I know I'm going to get frustrated and be a bastard to her.
Tell me.
How do I get through to the people who won't help themselves?
I've come to only one solution. Expose them to the harsh reality of the situation in it's entirety. Confront them with their shortcomings ruthlessly, usually by shouting, telling them how pathetic their problems really are, and showing them just how useless it all is, until they either start to understand the reality of the situation, or give up.
Most give up.
But maybe, just maybe, after they've stopped crying and thinking of ways to kill me for being so cruel to them, maybe something of what I said will sink in.
