Fanfiction ► Destiny in Motion (like and AU but different)

[Silent Avera]

Critiquing as I read~ and this is what happens:


Opening was very cute =w= Talk about "Childhood echo" XDDDD and the addition of the bold made it VERY clear that they were not happy

Looks like you're settling on a style, good, good *Golem talk* -> "He's getting molded, he's getting molded~!"

Sora playing guitar? Quick! We need some Les Paul and Santana in here STAT! And, and that Time in a Bottle guy which I shame because I can't remember his name, crap >_<

Ewwwww~ Stinky Roxas, reminds me of my brothers, especially the older one XD

Also, I'm sorry, but when I read Shibuya, I immediately thought of Shibusen XD

"In the end they were stuck in Shibuya's labyrinth of streets." <- YES! Lovin' that description and the pace around it.

"Sora and Roxas looked over to where Riku was looking at. It took a little while but they could see something moving. It seemed to be following someone as they started to take paths away from the crowd. The three looked at each other then rushed over to where the person was walking. Even though they were going as fast as they could they still lost sight of them in the crowd. When they reached the area they guessed the person disappeared at they looked around." <- a little stiff in description, watch out for that~


and as for the inspired world, THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG!!! THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG!!! >X3

Or.....Naruto...? Meep.....Akira...? I dunno XD

 

[Shadow-Love]

O_O Princess and the Frog!? Seriously!!!??? What about that world sounded like that movie? It wasn't Naruto either, or Akira, or Soul Eater.

*Sigh* Will someone else please guess to what inspired the world, I think I made it obvious.

Anyway I'm glad you liiked how I wrote it out. And I'm glad you picked up on Sora's playing the guitar, that's gonna be something I use later on. (For those who know and are expecting it, there's not going to be a K-on inspired world.)

 

[Silent Avera]

Have you seen the Princess and the Frog? :/

Um, Wolf's Rain? Ghost in the Shell? Is it even anime related?

"(For those who know and are expecting it, there's not going to be a K-on inspired world.)" -> D: *and thus the dream of seeing Sora, Riku and Roxas in a band was crushed* XD

 

[Shadow-Love]

No, I outgrew Disney movies quite a while ago.

None of those and it isnt' anime based. Think along the lines of Square Enix's other good games. For the DS.

Yes, I love to crush dreams. No band for the Chasers, but I hope you won't be disappointed by what I will do with Sora and the guitar.

 

[Silent Avera]

You can never outgrow classic Disney 8D where is your inner child?!

Oh, The World Ends With You?

D: A Dream crusher, you just wait till I get the Nights on you ....XDDDD Whatever you do with the guitar, I bet I'll like, I grew up with them playing. practically. constantly. every. hour. of. the. day.....^^; It rubs off over the years~

 

[Shadow-Love]

Ok, maybe I lock the door to my room and pop in a Disney classic every few monthes or so. But for the most part I don't like any of the new Disney stuff.

B. I. N. G. O. You got it right Avera, TWEWY it is.

Hey, sorry but I just don't think the three can function as a band. Not a bad idea though. But I what Sora will do will surprise everyone.

 

[Coldman9]

New chapters = Good
Fight scenes = Improved

This is getting good man, I look forward to the whole story.

Oh, and how did you not pick up that it was TWEWY? It was pretty obvious when he said Shibuya and there was a floating tatoo.

 

[Silent Avera]

Thank-you for admitting Shadow~

I've never played TWEWY >>; That's probably why XD but gosh darnet I know that it's a Square Enix game for the DS other than the other one that I know of, Days~

 

[Shadow-Love]

I'm so embarassed.

O_O You never played TWEWY!? IT WAS FREAKING FANTASTIC!! It was an awesome game, a little confusing in some parts, but it was great. The battle system was cool and new and the stuff you could do and wear to increase your stats and the items you could get were cool. It got a 5 out of 5 from like, everybody.

 

[Silent Avera]

Now to drag Shadow to the Disney Vault 8D

Anywho, I've never played it because I couldn't get around to it blargh ;_; - O_O *catches brain though*

Ahaha - I was just about to ask you if you had any Disney-inspired worlds in your fic....I need some chocolate. Stat. XD

But seriously though, are ya gonna have anymore inspired worlds? :3

 

[Silent Avera]

Now to drag Shadow to the Disney Vault 8D

Anywho, I've never played it because I couldn't get around to it blargh ;_; - O_O *catches brain thought*

Ahaha - I was just about to ask you if you had any Disney-inspired worlds in your fic....I need some chocolate. Stat. XD Brain is.....shutting...down......

But seriously though, are ya gonna have anymore inspired worlds? :3

 

[Shadow-Love]

No! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Kidding aside I guess I can't entirely blame you then. But if you ever can then it should be first on your list of DS games to play.

I'll be using some of the worlds from KH, mix in a few other Square Enix game worlds, and I might do an anime or two. I didn't want to just stick with the Disney stuff.

 

[Silent Avera]

I hear ya there, hence with my stuff XD

And if you're using Square Enix - do I sense some FF worlds? *_*

 

[Shadow-Love]

>_> Maaaaaaaaaaaaaybe! You'll just have to wait and see.

 

[Coldman9]

What FF world would he use? I thought Radient Gardens was like the gathering place of all FF characters. A mystical world where all their adventures and lands melded together, none conflicting with the other.

 

[Silent Avera]

*Jumps Coldman* SHHHHHHHH! We could get a Midgar world~! Or Cocoon! 8D

 

[khfreak17]

aw!!!!! why do i miss so much???? TT.TT oh well. awesome chapter. those frog thingies are a little creepy...

 

[Coldman9]

Dude, I just know that if you're using TWEWY then it's gonna turn out great. I can't wait for the next chapter.

 

[Silent Avera]

Alrighty Jason, are you gonna have.....Red13 in here? 8D I will tackle-glomp you if you have Red13 in here, just a smidge of a shot from him, a panel - oh pleeeeeeeeeeeeease - a FF world with Red13 in it! :O Awesome!!!

 

[Cef]

UGH.

I can't believe I found it just now... HOW COULD I HAVE MISSED THIS?!

*cough*

I WANT ZIDAAAAAAANEEEEEEE!!!!!