Cops and Robbers [Cross over KH/FFXIII]



Never See Me Coming!
Sep 25, 2010
  • Retired Staff
  • Graceful Assassin
  • The Gambler of Fate
  • Beauty Within
  • Cloaked Schemer
  • Whirlwind Lancer
Hey guys, long time since I've posted a one-shot. I hope you guys enjoy it and my attempts at humor. The characters may be out of character. Just a heads up~

In Radiant Garden

Leon was hunched over his desk, trying to figure out a way to take care of the crime going on in town. "I can't be in two places at once," he muttered to himself,"Yuffie and Aerith aren't available to handle the job."

The sound of a knock followed by a door slamming open caught a hold of Leon's attention. Looking up, he could see Lightning strolling forward with a fist full of spiky red hair in her hands and inwardly groaned at the sight. "I caught Axel lurking around again, Leon."

"Is that any way to treat an old friend, Light?" Axel groaned out, trying to free himself from her tight grip.

"Shut up." Lightning ordered, shoving the pyro to his knees.

"Make me, pinky." Axel growled out, glaring up at his captive.

Leon closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose, feeling a headache coming on. "Can't you two just get along?"

"No." they said in unison, glaring at each other.

"If the two of you have nothing better to do than be at each others throats, I suggest you leave," Leon started, "And don't break anything on the way out."

"Or drastic measures will be taken." He added, staring the both of them down and pulling out some familiar rope.

Immediately the pair froze, recalling the last time they were thrown together in a net and hung in midair for all to see.

"Right. We'll be going now," Lightning said, quickly backing up towards the door, "Sorry for disturbing you, Leon."

Leon felt his mouth twitch in a smile as it occured to him who would be perfect for the job and it'd keep the two knuckle heads outta trouble.

"Hold up you two," He said, watching in amusement as the pair scramble desperately for the door in a state of panic at his words.

Axel having been closest to the door, made a grab for the door knob, only to be shoved out of the way by Lightning; who was trying to budge the door open, with Axel lying down in front of it and preventing her escape.

"Move out of my way, Axel!" Lightning shouted, pushing the fallen pyro out of her way and opening the door.

"Oh no, you're not! If I'm going down, you are too." Axel said coldly, slamming the door shut with a gloved hand.

"Bite me!"

"With pleasure!"

A whirl of petals erupted within the room, followed by a clash of metal on metal as a pair of chakram's connected with a sword. Lightning flipped back, brandishing her sword by her side with an annoyed look on her face while Axel simply stood there, grinning that irritating cherish grin of his and held his burning chakram's at his sides playfully.

"If the two of you are done messing around, I have job for you to take care of." Leon reminded them, taking a seat on his desk.

"Can't it wait until later, Leon?" Lightning asked, wanting to wipe the smirk off Axel's face.

"No. Now pay attention. I need the two of you to be on the look out for a pair of thieves running around, take care of them and bring them back here. Got it?"

"You're not serious?" Axel asked, thinking Leon has lost his mind if he thinks he'll work together with pinky.

"I can't work with somebody like him." Lightning complained, hoping Leon would change his mind.

"Deal with it." Leon said, gesturing around the room at the burn marks running across his walls and sliced up furniture.

"Or I'll find something much more suitable to punish you two with for all these damages."

"This is why I hate visiting Radiant Garden," Axel said, "A guy like myself just can't be minding his own business and get's dragged into more icky jobs."

"Yeah? How do you think I feel, having to deal with the likes of you?" Lightning asked, sheathing her sword.

"Pfft please. You're a fine one to talk when you chased me all over Destiny Island." Axel said casually, folding his arms back and resting his head against them.

"You owed us munny!"

"That's just an excuse and you know it!"

Leon watched the two of them go, arguing on their way out the door and let out a relieved sigh. "Finally gone." He said to himself, hearing a rustling sound and look to see Vanille peeking around the corner.

"Do you think they'll be able to do it without killing each other, Leon?" Vanille asked with a thoughtful look on her face.

"I'm not giving them a choice." Leon simply said, leaning back in his chair, feeling tired after a long days work.

"How else will they learn," Fang said, wrapping her arms around Vanille's waist and resting her chin on top of her head, "and tolerate each others presence?"

"I hope you're right, Leon, Fang." Vanille giggled between her muffled hands.

"I always am."
Two Hours Later

Axel was dragging his feet in boredom, after searching for two whole hours, following Lightning at a discreet pace and couldn't help but let out another sigh. "This job is a total waste of our time. If we haven't found them by now then, it's a lost cause."

Lightning bit her lower lip in thought, silently agreeing with the pyro that they should have run into the theives by now, and was growing tired of every outburst that came out of that pyro's mouth. Just keep it together, Light. You can do it. Get the job done and you won't have to put up with him much longer.

"Did you hear me? We should call it a day and start our search again tomorrow." Axel said, watching her retreating figure move faster, that he had felt himself grin in spite of himself. Two can play this game. I'll get you to talk. One way or another.
"Hey...Hey Light...You mad?"

"Hey, are you even listening to to me, Light?"

"Did you know your butt shakes with every step you take?"

"I just want to grab those cheeks of yours and-"

"WOULD YOU JUST SHUT UP ALREADY!" Lightning screamed, unable to take another word out of his mouth, throwing Axel harshly against a wall and grabbing him by the throat by the collar of his neck.

"My, my, aren't you a feisty one. All you had to do was ask, Light." Axel said, holding out his hands in surrender.

Her blade struck the stone wall next to his head that Axel simply smirked. "You are so...irritating. I can't stand another second being around you." Lightning said, her hands shaking as she pulled back to glare at him.

"The woman finally speaks. I was begining to wonder if you remembered how." Axel said, pushing her hands off of him and leaning back casually against the wall.

"I don't have time to deal with your jokes, Axel. I want to go home and spend the rest of the evening with Serah." Lightning scoffed, turning away to renew the search when a gloved hand grabbed hold her wrist.

"You want to know what I think," Axel whispered, "I think you're just upset that I stole a kiss from you earlier, when you let your guard down, and you liked it."

"Don't be so full of yourself, Axel," Lightning threaten, "otherwise it might come back to bite you!" she kicked him between his legs, making him grovel over in pain with a glare.

"What do we have here? A lovers quarrel. How nice." Spoke up a voice from within the shadows.

The two of them looked over to see Pete stepping out of the shadows with Kefka at his side and heartless at his back, holding a bunch of munny bags.

"You two should learn to get along, wouldn't you say, fellas?" Pete said with a chuckle.

"We could hear you from miles away that it was easy avoiding your detection." Kefka added.

"It's end of the line for you. We're taking you both in for your crimes." Lightning said, drawing her gun-blade out of the wall and pointing it at the heartless, vanquishing them with a few shots of her gun.

"I'm not interested in fighting little girls like you. I'm just here to make sure this fool does his job," Kefka said, running a hand through his hair, "But if you insist on fighting me, I won't go easy on you."

"I'm standing right here, you know." Pete growled out, charging forward at Lightning when a wall of flames cut him off and sent him flying back.

Lightning looked over at Axel in surprise only to see him brush it off with a shrug, not even looking at her as he jumped into the fray of battle.

"Should you really be looking away right now, when your enemy is standing right in front of you?" Kefka asked, holding an orb in the palm of his hand with more lined up around him.

"Axel! How dare you ignore me!" She shouted, knocking Kefka aside with a blow to the head with the back of her gun-blade.

Axel was too busy trying to hold his ground by blocking Pete's pounding his fists repeatedly with his chakram's.

"Light. Do we really need to get into this now?" He asked, feeling a bead of sweat go down the side of his face.

"What? Can't you do two things at once, Axel?" Lightning asked, sending a flying kick at Pete's face, watching him stumble back clutching his nose in pain.

"Can't I just get a simple thank you? Is that so much to ask?" Axel complained, slashing out with his flames and taking pleasure in the howls of pain Pete let out.


"Aw. Don't be like that, Lightning. Admit it. You can't resist me and my dripping good looks." Axel said, setting his chakram's aside and posed.

"No way in hell."

Axel let out a sigh before grinning up at Pete who backed away from the pair of them. "Do you see what I have to put up with?"

"What. Is. The. Matter. With. You. Two!?" Pete cried out in fear, throwing his hands up to fend them off.

The two of them shared a look.

"He gets on my nerves."

"She likes to make my life miserable."
Thirty Minutes Later

"Aw. C'mon fellas, I want you to read me my rights!" Pete complained, being dragged forward and thrown into his jail cell.

"You have the right to remain silent." Axel said, ignoring his outbursts and grimacing in the memory of occupying these jail cells.

Lightning having just returned from informing Leon of bagging the bad guys, decided to poke some fun into the pyro.

"Say about we reenact a few things...for old times sake?" She asked, drawing the pyro's attention.

"Oh? What kind of things?" Axel asked, turning around to face her.

Lightning pounced at him with her blade drawn, causing Axel to duck down in time to avoid the blow to his head and retaliated with a tackle to her midsection.

Leon having decided to congratulate them on a job well done, was shocked to find his jail room in shambles with Axel and Lightning rolling on the floor, pulling on each others hair once again.

"Will this madness never end!?" He exclaimed, ready to tear his hair out at their antics, and thinking how much the damages will cost in repairs.

"Better luck next time, Leon." Vanille chuckled.
Else Where

Kefka woke up with a groan in pain, rubbing the back of his head and looked around. "How cruel of them to leave me here like garbage. I deserve better than this! You'll all pay!" He shouted with his fist raised.

"Just gotta get my bearings first." He muttered to himself a moment later.

Back with our Favorite Duo

"Is it just me or does it feel like we've forgotten something?" Axel asked, wiping the floor down with a soapy sponge.

"Shut up and clean, Axel." Lightning replied, whacking him on the head with the back of her hand while she set some furniture upright again.


Lanydx reborn

The Superior Lanydx
Jun 14, 2009
Hahahagagsgagahagagaha. Oh my god that was GREAT! No I mean it KK this has got to be one of your best to date. I think I'm gonna bust a gut. I feel so bad for Leon having to put up with those two. I bet Roxas and Xion would be howling if they saw this.


Actress/Healer in Persona: Icebound
Aug 29, 2012
  • Kingdom Hearts HD 2.8 Final Chapter Prologue
  • Kingdom Hearts HD 1.5+2.5 ReMIX
  • Nothing's Like Before
  • This is Halloween
  • Kingdom Hearts HD 2.5 ReMIX
  • Rising Star
*giggling so hard* This is so hilarious!!! x"D I'm bursting in laughter so hard that I can't breathe! xD

KK this is your time to shine, and keep it shining! :D


Oct 9, 2009
  • You've Got A Friend In Me
  • Master of Monologues
  • Kingdom Hearts HD 1.5 ReMIX
  • Keyblade Master
  • Kingdom Hearts 3D: Dream Drop Distance
hahahaha ah~ xD been so long since i seen me a kk story.
loved it! Axel X Lightning never gets old and poor Leon rofl poor guy he needs a vacation or something xD
great job kk *u*