I like them so far. They're getting better every chap. Just finished three.
Fanfiction ► Beginning of Destiny
- Thread starter Ban Mido
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I'd say it's around chapter 6 where things really start to take off.
k. I'll try to at least get to there before I leave.
hey, Matt, will the new girl and Larxene have problems with each other? hehe that would be funny
phew. your chapters are very long. im on to 6 now.
tough man, they're all long.. but that's good, it's more professional-like.. it might also have to do with the fact that he's 20....
he's twenty is he. oh right, he's got few more years experience at this stuff then us i guess.
he is very good. dont tell him i said this but i think snowdogs the only one better than him. sshh.
he is very good. dont tell him i said this but i think snowdogs the only one better than him. sshh.
dude this is his FAN FIC he reads all his posts no matter what. he's way dedicated.
but i don't think he'll be hurt by your words, he's way too humble, he'll agree, actually
but i don't think he'll be hurt by your words, he's way too humble, he'll agree, actually
they are both good. i was only just kidding around. its just snowdogs descriptions are very good, matt is great at that too actually. so hm, lets say they are both in the same sort of league.
i actually haven't read any of Snow's fics yet. i keep forgetting.. but then i remember when i see Deeman's fanclub.
i have only seen the one called goodnight. very good. i hear she has a very long on going one, i dont think ill be able to catch up with that so im going to give it a miss and wait for future ones by her. neloangelos fic here has become my favourite. i like the genre of it lets say, its my type of story.
so i've seen. yeah Nelo's fic pretty much kicks ass. it's really cool.
@ Mar: Sorry to dissapoint you, but after the next chapter, it's unlikely that we will be seeing The fourteenth member again, that is, if I don't get another random thought.. If Larxene has a problem with her, you'll likely to see it in 358/2.
@Riddler: I haven't seen much of Snow's work, So I really don't have an opinion of her fics yet.
And believe it or not, this is actually my very first Fan Fic. Before this, All Ive ever done is script comedies. I started this with absolutely ZERO experience. I do, however, Have a lot of experience at writing grade A essays, so maybe that helps.
@Riddler: I haven't seen much of Snow's work, So I really don't have an opinion of her fics yet.
And believe it or not, this is actually my very first Fan Fic. Before this, All Ive ever done is script comedies. I started this with absolutely ZERO experience. I do, however, Have a lot of experience at writing grade A essays, so maybe that helps.
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hey i started with absolutely zero experience too.. kind of... does writing a book count as experience?
:huh: Under normal circumstances it would...
oh, danget!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You are weird in a good way Mar.
hehehehehe...................
- Joined
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matt no update? no worries i got stuff to do too.
Chapter 16: Side Stepped Side Story #III Pt 3: What’s your proof?
”WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!?” Fourteen Shrieked. It had been hours since the start of the tour of the castle, Saix hurrying her from one section to another, making it as short and as painless, for himself at least, as possible, which wasn’t easy to do with a structure so large. They had visited the training rooms, the living areas, the public laboratories and libraries, and the throne room. They were finishing up their tour with walking through the main corridor that goes from the entrance of the castle to the Altar of Naught. They were just approaching their last stop, when a loud roar rang out, shaking the castle slightly. It was immediately followed a loud booming sound, and then something that sounded like a balloon popping.
“It was nothing that concerns you.” Saix answered, looking at a passing Dusk. “It’s just someone knocking on the front door. Xaldin took care of it.”
“Who’s Xaldin?” Fourteen asked.
“He is one of the more tolerable members of the organization. Now move. I want to end this unpleasant experience as soon as possible.” Saix ushered her quickly into the next room, not giving her a chance to ask questions. He pushed her into a room with thirteen portals, each one shaped like a pedestal. The first one is at the head of the room while the rest were arranged neatly in rows. One immediately caught her eye, in that it was different from the others, but she couldn’t tell why. She walked to the pedestal at the end of the lowest row on the right side, and instantly noticed why.
“This one is blank.” She stated in observation as she kneeled down to get a better look. She eyed it intently to see if there was anything on it at all, but couldn’t see anything. It was completely, utterly, blank. She looked up at Saix, who came to rest, leaning against the wall. “Why is this one blank?”
“That one was put in only recently.” Saix replied. “It’s for our newest member.”
“Aw, ya all shouldn’t have!” She said rather sheepishly.
“Who said it was for you?” Saix snarled. “We already told you that we are in the middle of recruiting someone else!”
“Oh yeah…” She replied with a sigh, sounding rather disappointed. She stood up and Saix approached.
“While we are on that matter…” Saix said with suspicion. “Where did you get that? I don’t recall you being assigned a coat yet.”
“This?” she asked, moving her hands from the top of her attire down, indicating if Saix was asking about her garb. “I swiped it from some chick’s room. She has lots of pictures of herself everywhere. Very narcissistic if you ask me.”
“YOU SWIPED--“ Saix stopped himself, not wanting to go into what could be a potential headache, he rubbed his scar to calm himself. I thought that dagger looked familiar. Larxene that Bitch! Keeping her weapons in her pocket is asking for trouble!
“It doesn’t matter. She has so many, I doubt she’ll miss one. How does it fit?”Saix grunted.
“It’s a little tight in the chest. It’s a little difficult to breath in it.”
“What about the waist?”
“Room to spare.” She answered, flapping the access coat material around with her hands, revealing unneeded space in her clothes.
Larxene would kill you if she heard that. Saix thought with a smirk.
“Do you really have to wear that hood up inside the castle?” Saix asked.
“But it makes me feel sneaky!” She squealed.
“Whatever….” Saix said with a groan.
“So, mister tour guide…” Fourteen chimed, enjoying being able to push Saix’s buttons so easily. “Where are we?”
“This is the Proof of Existence!” Saix exclaimed in explanation. “This is our proof that we of the Organization have existed. “If one of the Organization were to fall and cease to exist, then these pedestals are our testament to the worlds that once upon a time, we were here. They would become our gravestones.”
Saix walks up to his and places his hand on it. A look of profoundness crept across his face.
“Upon joining, we etch our weapons and title into the stonework, and charge it with our energy, and it turns into a portal to our personal sanctum. A place to call our own, to be alone.”
“Wow…” Fourteen muttered in wonderment. “That is deep. I never knew.”
While Saix is lost in thought, she starts looking at the various titles of the other members.
“The Flurry of Dancing Flames, The Graceful Assassin, The Savage Nymph…” She approached Saix and his tablet. “What does yours say?”
She peeked between Saix and his tablet, and read his title.
“The Lunar Diviner? Classy.” She chirped.
“Yes, well…” Saix said with a smirk. “I am a class act.”
“What’s your weapon?” She asked, pointing at the picture at the pedestals base. “Looks like a spiked club.”
“It’s a called a Claymore!” Saix grunted with a scowl. “It’s a type of sword.”
“Really?” She asked in confusion. “It looks like a club. Are you sure?”
“Listen you…” Saix snarled. His anger with the woman reaching it’s breaking point. Just then though, footsteps could be heard, rapidly approaching towards them. Shit! Someone’s coming!
“Stay inside.” Saix ordered as he grabbed her by the nape of the neck, and before she could protest, forced her into his portal. He turned around and ran in front of the thirteenth pedestal. Xaldin walked into the room only moments later.
“Good Evening Saix.” Xaldin said in greeting as he walked in. “By chance, have you seen Xemnas?”
“Last I saw him, he was in his room.” Saix grunted, playing the cool customer.
“It’s just about 7 o clock.” Xaldin stated, checking his watch. “He’s probably at the Altar of Naught, staring at Kingdom Hearts.”
“Probably...” Saix grunted in reply.
“What are you doing in here anyways?” Xaldin asked out of curiosity. It was a weird room to spend one’s free time in.
“Whatever I damn well please!” Saix barked harshly, in an effort to put Xaldin off. Xaldin stared at Saix for a moment, and then continued to the main pedestal.
“Weirdo.” Xaldin grunted before he vanished into the portal. Saix gave a sigh of relief and relaxed himself.
“Now to get that girl out before she messes up my room.” Saix said to himself and headed towards his portal. He stopped at the pedestal labeled ‘The Cloaked Schemer’ and stared at it for a moment. He looked around to check if he was alone, and a big, menacing smile appeared on his face.
---
“I don’t care what you say! That was rude!” Fourteen complained as she exited the portal.
“You’re not even supposed to out and about the castle!” Saix retorted. “You weren’t allowed to be seen by anyone yet!”
“Whatever!” She huffed. She looked around the room quickly, and spotted another Pedestal that was different than the others. It was cracked and broken, while the others were in perfect shape. “Was that one always like that?”
“Yes.” Saix said gleefully with a large, satisfied grin.
“Are you sure?” She asked again. She was certain that when she came into the room, all the pedestals were in perfect condition.
“Each member is in charge of the taking care of their own tablet. If one has fallen into disrepair, it is the fault of the member.” Saix stated. “Trust me, that pedestal was like that when we came in.”
“If you say so…” She said staring at the tablet. She brought a black rose to her nose and smelled it daintily. A black rose that, Saix noticed, wasn’t in her possession before she had entered his chamber.
“Where did you get that?” He demanded loudly as he pointed at the plant, his suspicion raised by the mysterious flower.
“This?” Fourteen asked, holding the rose by its stem. “I found it in a vase on the railing next to the window. I must admit, I never pegged you for having a thing for plants.”
“I don’t.” He stated calmly and coldly. He yanked the rose out of the girl’s hand and eyed it, scrutinizing every petal, leaf and thorn. What is that fool planning? I don’t care what Lord Xemnas says, I am weeding out that trouble maker before he ruins the whole garden!
“This tour is over.” He stated, grabbing fourteen by the arm and pulling her towards the exit. “You are to return to your room and wait there until Xemnas or I say otherwise. This is not open for discussion.”
“What’s with you?” She inquired, not really struggling against him pulling her along. “You’re acting weirder than usual ever since you saw that flower!”
“It’s not a flower.” Saix grunted, glancing over his shoulder at the girl. “It’s an invitation.”
“An invitation? To what exactly?”
Saix stopped for a moment, and gave some thought as to how he would answer her question. He turned around, and locked his eyes with hers, and stated quite simply:
“Rebellion.”
Chapter 16: Side Stepped Side Story #III Pt 3: What’s your proof: End.
-----------------
And Now you know where the Dagger came from.
Marluxia is smart, but his Ego sometimes makes it hard for him to make smart decisions. Giving a rose to Saix as an invitation to rebel against the one he is most loyal to is one of them.
How is Saix going to "take care" of Marluxia if Saix isn't in CoM? Don't worry. I've covered all the bases. You'll find out in do time.
”WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!?” Fourteen Shrieked. It had been hours since the start of the tour of the castle, Saix hurrying her from one section to another, making it as short and as painless, for himself at least, as possible, which wasn’t easy to do with a structure so large. They had visited the training rooms, the living areas, the public laboratories and libraries, and the throne room. They were finishing up their tour with walking through the main corridor that goes from the entrance of the castle to the Altar of Naught. They were just approaching their last stop, when a loud roar rang out, shaking the castle slightly. It was immediately followed a loud booming sound, and then something that sounded like a balloon popping.
“It was nothing that concerns you.” Saix answered, looking at a passing Dusk. “It’s just someone knocking on the front door. Xaldin took care of it.”
“Who’s Xaldin?” Fourteen asked.
“He is one of the more tolerable members of the organization. Now move. I want to end this unpleasant experience as soon as possible.” Saix ushered her quickly into the next room, not giving her a chance to ask questions. He pushed her into a room with thirteen portals, each one shaped like a pedestal. The first one is at the head of the room while the rest were arranged neatly in rows. One immediately caught her eye, in that it was different from the others, but she couldn’t tell why. She walked to the pedestal at the end of the lowest row on the right side, and instantly noticed why.
“This one is blank.” She stated in observation as she kneeled down to get a better look. She eyed it intently to see if there was anything on it at all, but couldn’t see anything. It was completely, utterly, blank. She looked up at Saix, who came to rest, leaning against the wall. “Why is this one blank?”
“That one was put in only recently.” Saix replied. “It’s for our newest member.”
“Aw, ya all shouldn’t have!” She said rather sheepishly.
“Who said it was for you?” Saix snarled. “We already told you that we are in the middle of recruiting someone else!”
“Oh yeah…” She replied with a sigh, sounding rather disappointed. She stood up and Saix approached.
“While we are on that matter…” Saix said with suspicion. “Where did you get that? I don’t recall you being assigned a coat yet.”
“This?” she asked, moving her hands from the top of her attire down, indicating if Saix was asking about her garb. “I swiped it from some chick’s room. She has lots of pictures of herself everywhere. Very narcissistic if you ask me.”
“YOU SWIPED--“ Saix stopped himself, not wanting to go into what could be a potential headache, he rubbed his scar to calm himself. I thought that dagger looked familiar. Larxene that Bitch! Keeping her weapons in her pocket is asking for trouble!
“It doesn’t matter. She has so many, I doubt she’ll miss one. How does it fit?”Saix grunted.
“It’s a little tight in the chest. It’s a little difficult to breath in it.”
“What about the waist?”
“Room to spare.” She answered, flapping the access coat material around with her hands, revealing unneeded space in her clothes.
Larxene would kill you if she heard that. Saix thought with a smirk.
“Do you really have to wear that hood up inside the castle?” Saix asked.
“But it makes me feel sneaky!” She squealed.
“Whatever….” Saix said with a groan.
“So, mister tour guide…” Fourteen chimed, enjoying being able to push Saix’s buttons so easily. “Where are we?”
“This is the Proof of Existence!” Saix exclaimed in explanation. “This is our proof that we of the Organization have existed. “If one of the Organization were to fall and cease to exist, then these pedestals are our testament to the worlds that once upon a time, we were here. They would become our gravestones.”
Saix walks up to his and places his hand on it. A look of profoundness crept across his face.
“Upon joining, we etch our weapons and title into the stonework, and charge it with our energy, and it turns into a portal to our personal sanctum. A place to call our own, to be alone.”
“Wow…” Fourteen muttered in wonderment. “That is deep. I never knew.”
While Saix is lost in thought, she starts looking at the various titles of the other members.
“The Flurry of Dancing Flames, The Graceful Assassin, The Savage Nymph…” She approached Saix and his tablet. “What does yours say?”
She peeked between Saix and his tablet, and read his title.
“The Lunar Diviner? Classy.” She chirped.
“Yes, well…” Saix said with a smirk. “I am a class act.”
“What’s your weapon?” She asked, pointing at the picture at the pedestals base. “Looks like a spiked club.”
“It’s a called a Claymore!” Saix grunted with a scowl. “It’s a type of sword.”
“Really?” She asked in confusion. “It looks like a club. Are you sure?”
“Listen you…” Saix snarled. His anger with the woman reaching it’s breaking point. Just then though, footsteps could be heard, rapidly approaching towards them. Shit! Someone’s coming!
“Stay inside.” Saix ordered as he grabbed her by the nape of the neck, and before she could protest, forced her into his portal. He turned around and ran in front of the thirteenth pedestal. Xaldin walked into the room only moments later.
“Good Evening Saix.” Xaldin said in greeting as he walked in. “By chance, have you seen Xemnas?”
“Last I saw him, he was in his room.” Saix grunted, playing the cool customer.
“It’s just about 7 o clock.” Xaldin stated, checking his watch. “He’s probably at the Altar of Naught, staring at Kingdom Hearts.”
“Probably...” Saix grunted in reply.
“What are you doing in here anyways?” Xaldin asked out of curiosity. It was a weird room to spend one’s free time in.
“Whatever I damn well please!” Saix barked harshly, in an effort to put Xaldin off. Xaldin stared at Saix for a moment, and then continued to the main pedestal.
“Weirdo.” Xaldin grunted before he vanished into the portal. Saix gave a sigh of relief and relaxed himself.
“Now to get that girl out before she messes up my room.” Saix said to himself and headed towards his portal. He stopped at the pedestal labeled ‘The Cloaked Schemer’ and stared at it for a moment. He looked around to check if he was alone, and a big, menacing smile appeared on his face.
---
“I don’t care what you say! That was rude!” Fourteen complained as she exited the portal.
“You’re not even supposed to out and about the castle!” Saix retorted. “You weren’t allowed to be seen by anyone yet!”
“Whatever!” She huffed. She looked around the room quickly, and spotted another Pedestal that was different than the others. It was cracked and broken, while the others were in perfect shape. “Was that one always like that?”
“Yes.” Saix said gleefully with a large, satisfied grin.
“Are you sure?” She asked again. She was certain that when she came into the room, all the pedestals were in perfect condition.
“Each member is in charge of the taking care of their own tablet. If one has fallen into disrepair, it is the fault of the member.” Saix stated. “Trust me, that pedestal was like that when we came in.”
“If you say so…” She said staring at the tablet. She brought a black rose to her nose and smelled it daintily. A black rose that, Saix noticed, wasn’t in her possession before she had entered his chamber.
“Where did you get that?” He demanded loudly as he pointed at the plant, his suspicion raised by the mysterious flower.
“This?” Fourteen asked, holding the rose by its stem. “I found it in a vase on the railing next to the window. I must admit, I never pegged you for having a thing for plants.”
“I don’t.” He stated calmly and coldly. He yanked the rose out of the girl’s hand and eyed it, scrutinizing every petal, leaf and thorn. What is that fool planning? I don’t care what Lord Xemnas says, I am weeding out that trouble maker before he ruins the whole garden!
“This tour is over.” He stated, grabbing fourteen by the arm and pulling her towards the exit. “You are to return to your room and wait there until Xemnas or I say otherwise. This is not open for discussion.”
“What’s with you?” She inquired, not really struggling against him pulling her along. “You’re acting weirder than usual ever since you saw that flower!”
“It’s not a flower.” Saix grunted, glancing over his shoulder at the girl. “It’s an invitation.”
“An invitation? To what exactly?”
Saix stopped for a moment, and gave some thought as to how he would answer her question. He turned around, and locked his eyes with hers, and stated quite simply:
“Rebellion.”
Chapter 16: Side Stepped Side Story #III Pt 3: What’s your proof: End.
-----------------
And Now you know where the Dagger came from.
Marluxia is smart, but his Ego sometimes makes it hard for him to make smart decisions. Giving a rose to Saix as an invitation to rebel against the one he is most loyal to is one of them.
How is Saix going to "take care" of Marluxia if Saix isn't in CoM? Don't worry. I've covered all the bases. You'll find out in do time.
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