Re: ɨ⊰✬⊱The Renewed AQUAxVENTUS club⊰✬⊱ɨ
Well, like I said, I was just speculating. I just have this image of Sora turning into Roxas, Xion, and Ventus over the course of the fight, tapping into their particular abilities to ultimately defeat him once more. Really, what better final boss could there be for our resident messiah then the embodiment of the darkness of all the hearts that make him who he is? But hey, given how confusing and convoluted Kingdom Hearts can get, I'm pretty sure whatever Tetsuya Nomura comes up with will manage to make sense if I look at it all squinty-eyed. BUT REALLY, THE IMPORTANT PART IS FOR SORA OR MICKY TO TEASE AQUA ABOUT VENTUS, AND THEN SHE'S ALL WHITE KNIGHT TO HIM WHEN THEY FINALLY RESCUE HIM! <333
I'd actually really not like that to happen, myself... I see Roxas, Ven, Xion, and Sora as their own people, and having Sora change between them, I think, would be a little demeaning to their characters. It'd be totally epic, yeah, but I dunno... I'd rather ghostly esscences of them would come out, or something, kinda like Roxas at the end of KHII? But yeah, Nomura will probably pull something utterly INSANE for this, haha.
AND ABSOLUTELY FREAKING YES ON YOUR LAST PART!!!!
Hmm, my Aqua is off? Well that's no good, Aqua is too much of a BAMF for me to writer her out of character! D:
How might I improve my Aqua? As for the dialogue...that's pretty much my style, but maybe if you give me an example of where I could improve...
Hmmm, well, maybe this is just my view of Aqua, but I kinda see her as a sweet, corny girl, a bit like Sora, yet, very polite and mature at the same time. Your fics were very nice, but I felt Aqua was a bit too...cold, if that's the right word, in places? Or stern/strict? She's serious, but she's also quite playful and cheesy, too, I would say. That's the only thing I'd say to improve on for Aqua. Capture a bit more of her inner sweetness
And for the dialogue...hmmm, well, I guess, to me, it just felt a little strained or awkward in places, and while that was kinda intended at times, at others, it just felt rather strange. Like, here, for example:
“Neither of you will look at each other, and the most conversation either of you’ve had with each other this morning was when Aqua asked for the salt. Now come on guys, fess up, it couldn’t possibly be all that bad.”
It's not bad, but I feel it's a little bit unnatural. I'd recommend saying the lines out loud, and see how it sounds. I try using this technique for my own writing, and it's helped me kill some REALLY crappy lines xD
But hey, it was overall really good
I've read a bit of Ven/Aqua fanfic, and a lot of it...is either TOTALLY OOC, or dripping with purple prose, and these definitely weren't. In fact, the best part, I'd say, is your descriptions! Those were brilliant! Allister should most definitely put these on the front page
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