Maybe elaborating on the field and keyboard would help. Like giving more a feel and relating details?
So per se if I say if the keyboard was more of a flat keypad, that felt like you were tapping touch screen that was holographic, that felt that felt my fingers with every stroke. Listening to my commands by a responding with a feint ping sound.
I never really thought to call it world building. That's a good and obvious way to call that. Aha. I sort uve' want to make the world be seen from just the main character's POV if that's possible. I should probably clean up that mess of keyboard and yellow fields. Imagery isn't really the best thing I can do. If I put more detail into the area he's in that would probably help tons?
Well then hows this so far. It seems to stay true to what your advising. Thank you in advance c:
So this world of ours, I can’t honestly exactly call it perfect, but I want to protect it.
That was always a thought that crossed in to my mind when I looked out. It was always a pleasure to open the hatch, hearing the electronic hmm letting fresh air and bright light pierce into my NEXT. That’s not all; I got to see a vast field of tall yellow flowers swaying from the wind. Every time after a mission, I always try to find a way to make a trip here. Usually doing so, I get lashed out by my employers for arriving back so late. Their fault, if they had a second just to see this endless field, they would advance my rank. Teh, I wish. Hey being B-Rank isn’t that bad.
A short rhythmical ping alerted, it was a call. Sighing, I tap a few kes to answer. “Yeah?” I answered. “Noel where are you?” It was my operator Lani. I never seen her before but we’ve been working together for a few years now, guess you could call her my guardian. “You know you’re not supposed to say my name during a mission.” A little puff noise came out of her, yeah..I just annoyed her. “You were done with the mission a half an hour ago! The formalities are done for now. Get back to base alright? Lani out.” A zip and a pew signaled the call ended. I stare at the field for just a few more seconds trying to save the image into my mind forever before leaving. Another few keystrokes, on this holographic keyboard, the hatch was closing, slowly causing space I’m in, to get darker, until I couldn’t see anything.
“Alright, let’s go White.” I said sadly.
I liked those games, although tactics wise I only played the gba version but it was still pretty interesting.
What kinds of things are you writing?
Hmm i'm out of college until January so I don't have to worry about classes and homework for a few weeks. and I won a printer! Now i'm just relaxing, watching anime, playing games and hopefully gonna start writing something sooner or later.