1a) he randomly assigns which side we get.
1b) I said ignore the rape/assume I gave consent. My point was the speed of taking me to his bed.
2) marriage can be DELAYED. If I'm seriously, though not fatally, ill marriage can wait. It may take longer, sure, but if the person decides to walk out instead of waiting, he wasn't about to take the vows seriously. Same applies to money. Sometimes, if you were going to do it WHEN you were financially stable, then maybe marriage was more of convenience then actual love. and I'm not saying the marriage has to be some big to do. Just in front of God, priest, and witnesses. Sometimes, marriage is there just to show off money, or to say "We can live together now!" that's not it.
Marriage makes you part of a community, and (If done with the INTENTION of following through with the vows) to give you strength for later in life. If you're doing them without the vows... it's then JUST a paper. You are just saying "I want to ---- you now. But I can't without my folks being mad. marry me" Which isn't love. That's lust. That won't support a marriage.
Sex is, then, a declaration of mutual and exclusive love. It is each person fully giving themselves up to their partner saying "I will stay with you for the rest of my life. This is it for me." and if you have had multiple partners, the effect of this statement is diluted.
(on help) I wasn't saying they don't deserve the respect, I just said that the community would be less likely to give it. They were excluded from any ceremony. The couple (usually) walls themselves off to satisfy their lust. And when the lust fades, there is a bad taste in everyone's mouth.
3)We are also ignoring abuse here. That goes under not intending to follow through.