Aight, I'll give you ONE preview. She's already his girlfriend, thats how fast she is. xD And theyre going to have a daughter Akira, she's going to be EVERYBODY's favorite character.
Moving on to the next morning… The sky is really daaaaaark.
Selphie: wakes up) EEEEEEH! Why are you in my bed?!
Tidus: Because you told me not to leave when it was storming.
Selphie: Oh…Well why are you naked?!
Tidus: You’re naked too.
Selphie: …Oh my God!!!! Tidus! (hops up and runs into the bathroom and slams the door)
Tidus: Selphie! (runs to the door) It’s not what you think! Nothing happened! Selphie!
A tornado forms over the ocean. It touches the water and forms a whirlpool and soon starts tossing sand everywhere. Tidus looks out the window when he hears some hit the window.
Tidus: …Cool!
Meanwhile…
Sora: Ahh. I need fresh air. Good morning Kairi.
He goes to his window and opens it up to take a whiff of fresh island air but instead gets a mouth full of sand.
Sora: chokes) Aagh! Ack! Kairi! AAAAGH!
Kairi: hits him in the gut) Are you okay?
Sora: coughs up sand) Ack! (sticks head out window and pukes)
Kairi: pats his back and looks outside) Isn’t morning? Look how dark it is outside.
Sora: coughs) I think the clouds are blocking the sun.
Kairi: Why is sand flying everywhere?
Sora: points) That tornado thingy is throwing it around! (clears throat)
Kairi: pats him harder) Sora?
Sora: pukes again)
Kairi: Ewww…
…
In the darkest depths of HELL!!!...
Marylyn: watches Sora and Kairi) Kairi’s such a cute little girl. Very attractive, very sweet. She’s the woman of his dreams.
Sandy: Whatever.
Marylyn: Hey shut up! You couldn’t even kill her!
Sandy: You couldn’t either!
Marylyn: I did kill her! I drowned her and she was dead! She wasn’t breathing and her heart wasn’t beating!
Sandy: And she just got up?
Marylyn: Yeah! Right when I was about to slice into Sora she just came back to life! Just like with you.
Sandy: What DID happen?
Marylyn: Sora just kissed her and she woke up… Hmm… And you shot Sora, didn’t you!
K-dad: … (stares at her)
Marylyn: Hey you! I’m talking to you, stupid!
K-dad: frowns)
Marylyn: Why don’t you ever talk to me?! (casts fire around him) Answer me!
K-dad: Yeah I shot him. But he got right up.
Marylyn: Exactly… (snaps whip) Why don’t you ever talk to me?
K-dad: Because I hate you! I hate being here!
Marylyn: You put yourself here. Hahaha! (laughs) You tried to rape your own daughter! What happened? You weren’t getting enough from your wife?! Hahaha!
K-dad: sighs)
Marylyn: What’s wrong? Is mister “rape my own daughter” sad?
K-dad: Can we stop talking about that?!
Marylyn: Don’t get mad at me just because you wanted to screw your OWN daughter!
K-dad: Stop it! I love my daughter!
Marylyn: Yeah you love her in the wrong way. Hahaha!
K-dad: cries)
Marylyn: What was the point of doing that anyway?
K-dad: To get back at Sora.
Marylyn: Because he stole your little girl? You don’t like it when Sora bones your little girl?
K-dad: Shut up!
Marylyn: Don’t you want to hear about your daughter’s love life? YOU tried to rape her, stupid! (laughs)
K-dad: I just want you to shut up!
Marylyn: Can’t take a little romance?! (kisses him)
K-dad: Stop!
Marylyn: Buddy, I own you now. You should have thought of that before you doomed yourself to an eternal fiery hell. I had this spot saved for you ever since I went to that damned island. (pinches his cheeks)
K-dad: God, I wish I could just beat the shi-
Marylyn: You did not just say that! I know you didn’t just say-
Sandy: The poupu fruit! They shared it! Joined destinies! I’ve figured it out! We have to kill them both at the same time!
Marylyn: …That’s the stupidest shit I’ve ever heard but you may be right. I’ll deal with you later, grandma.
K-dad: Grrr.
Marylyn: Sandy, I’m sending you back to finish the job.
Back on the island, in Riku’s house…
Riku is making out with Myra and the whirlpool sends Sandy swinging into the window.
Myra: Agh!
Riku: Holy shit!
Sandy: Hey Riku. Who’s this hoe?
Myra: gasps)
Riku: How did you get back?! Why-
Sandy: It’s a long story, I was on this cheap raft and then all of a sudden BAM, the sharks are eating me alive and then I’m dead and I meet some chick named Marylyn-
Riku: Myra….RUN!!!
Myra: squeals) AAAAAAAAAAGH! (runs out the door)
Sandy: And I thought blondes were supposed to be the stupid ones.
Riku: gulps)
Sandy: See ya later, Riku. (leaves through the window)
Riku: Myra, wait for me! (runs downstairs)
Myra is hiding in the refrigerator.
GO AHEAD! ASK ME WHAT THE CHARACTERS LOOK LIKE! ILL TELL YOU!