Fanfiction ► Wind and Fire-Axel's Story

[bond of flames]

this is my first fan fic so plz bear with me.the first chapter is not good but it gets better.trust me!i would like to thank Darkisaac for helping me create names for sum characters.thx!here i go:

Chapter 1: struggle

"I'm a little old for kiddie games", said the boy. A seventeen year old being challenged to fight a fifteen year old just didn't seem fair . "You know what i think?", said the fifteen year old. "I think that your just afraid that your gonna lose". The seventeen year old replied, "fine, i'll take you on. Who ever you are.""it's Hayner", he said. "I'm Axel. Got it memorized?" "Let's get this started." Hayner announced. "Let's", Axel said. The two suddenly charged at each other, weapons raised. Hayner tried a few quick motion attacks, but Axel just batted them away. "See...kiddie stuff,"Axel said.
Axel dodged Hayner's attacks and got a few hits of his own in. He could tell Hayner strength was waning. Finally, Axel decided to end it. He rolled under one of Hayner's horizontal slashes, got behind him and hit him in the back with a quick stabbing motion. Hayner fell to the ground, moaning in pain. "I'm getting so sick of this town and these ridiculous children and thier stupid "struggle battle's". Axel left Hayner and wandered the streets of Twilight Town.

what do u guys think???

 

[russbuck19]

I kinda got lost at first, and it was kinda short. But other than that it was a good fan fic for a new writer

 

[bond of flames]

hope you liked the first chapter(probably not)here is the next chapter.trust me, its get much better in chapter 3.

Chapter 2: New Kid

Axel was wandering the woods around the old abandoned mansion when he ran into his friend Siefer. When he glanced at Siefer's hands, he noticed a strange black weapon that looked like a gun with a long barrel, but was really a sword. A twig snapped in the backround but it might as well been a bullet. Siefer turned around while the weapon in his hand disapeared into thin air. "Who's there?"he asked. Busted, Axel showed himself. "Just me.What are you doing here? where are Fuijin, Raijin, and Vivi?"he asked. "Apparently they have a new leader. Some lamer named Roxas". Siefer replied. Axel and Siefer decided to go down to the sandlot and take on this Roxas kid, but no one was there.
Suddenly, out of the shadows appeared a blonde haired kid holding what seemed like a giant key in a stance that looked like he was going to use it as a weapon. What was more strnage was he was talking to a man in a black coat that covered his entire body. Axel and Siefer decided to listen to thier conversation. "They're coming for you Roxas, you too Axel."the mysterius man said. Busted again, Axel stepped out of the shadows with Siefer following him. "What are you talking about?" Axel asked."The Organization is coming for you. One of it's members should be showing up soon."the man said. "Then who the hell are you? Are you from this so called Organization?"Axel asked, half yelling. "The man replied by saying, "I'm not in that Organization. I'm the leader of a different Organization."

 

[russbuck19]

haven't read chapter2 yet but bet it will be good. tell u after i read it mhow it was.

 

[KHeart_beat_*]

............ Ok, a little confusing at the beginning but still really good.

 

[darkisaac]

Nice man, I was waiting until you posted.

It's good and random so far (just how I likes it, I never saw a Seifer Axel friendship coming!)


Only a few minor spelling errors which can be edited, and missing a few spaces, but nice nonetheless.

 

[Gamergirl]

hmm . .well its ok but i don't understand y hayner and axel were fighting in the beginning but here's some pointers:

1. don't put ur words in bold unless ur trying to make a certain word or phrase stand out

2. use spell check

3. and make ur chapters a lil longer

and btw since im guessin u were a big fan of my fic im gonna continue it since im writing the next chpater now but i'll probably post it this weekend

 

[bond of flames]

thx gamergirl89.the only bad thing is that on paper, the chapter is like, 1 page long.im trying to make them longer.i will probably post the thirds chapter this weekend

 

[bond of flames]

oh well, i keep on forgetting to write the next chapter.the only comp i can get to is at the library and my fan fic is at home.im lazy i know it.i hav written up to chapter 7 but i really should be posting new chapters

 

[silent one]

well this story is cool and random but thats what make sit cool upload more chapters soon

 

[bond of flames]

i am going to update today!

 

[bond of flames]

i hope u guys like this.havnt updated in a long time.too lazy.but im trying.i hope this chapter is better then the last two.

Chapter 3: Thunder and Water

“What are you talking about?” Axel said, even more confused. “I can’t explain now. They’re here!” the man said, turning around to face the well of darkness sprouting from the ground. Out stepped a young looking man with light brown hair that went into a mullet. He was also in the same coat as the mysterious man. “I told them they were sending the wrong guy.” The young man said as he looked at them. “Look at all the weaklings. Wait… is that you Luxord?” he said again. The hooded man next to Roxas pulled his hood down to reveal a face older then the other man. He also had bright yellow hair that went up in random pointing spikes. “That old geezer? No, I’m Raiden and I’ve been looking for you.” he said. “Is that so? Well, I guess that I’ll just have to destroy you. Oh, and by the way, my names Demyx.” The young man said.
Suddenly a geyser of water erupted right where Demyx was standing. When the water receded Demyx was holding an ocean color blue sitar in his hands. “In case you already didn’t figure it out, I control water.” Demyx said.He played the sitar and water doppelgangers of Demyx formed from puddles on the ground. Raiden moved his arms away from his body as dark storm clouds formed above. Suddenly, little lighting bolts hit Raiden’s hands, but instead of damaging him they formed into two large chakrams with slightly bent bladesd protruding out of them that looked like thunder bolts. “In case you didn’t notice, I control thunder and I call these my Wind and Thunder wheels”.

 

[I]

make it longer and more eventful

 

[bond of flames]

hey, im trying. the first few chapters arent eventful but they get better.and the chapters look a page long on paper but are short in type.the 4 chapter i hope should be longer.

 

[Darkness Princess]

Okay I just read this, and the layout is really bad. You should press the enter key more often so that it's easier to read and leave spaces between paragraphs.

 

[bond of flames]

im really trying to make it better.im updating it today too

 

[bond of flames]

Chapter 4: Wind and Thunder

Raiden and Demyx stared at each other, waiting for the other to move. Demyx played his sitar yelling, “Dance, Water, Dance!” Suddenly the doppelgangers ran towards Raiden. Before the doppelgangers could strike, Raiden raised one chakram to the sky and said, “Thunder”. Hundreds of thunder bolts hit the ground, eliminating all the doppelgangers back to puddles. “Water!” Demyx yelled as he continued to strum notes on his sitar and a giant column of water transported Demyx towards Raiden. Raiden was about to raise his chakrams again when pillars of water surrounded him. “Get out of that.” Demyx challenged. “No one has escaped my water prison.” “Don’t blink.” Was all Raiden said. Demyx didn’t understand. Yet. Raiden just stood where he was and muttered one word. Demyx didn’t hear him so he couldn’t prepare for it. One thunder hit the ground. Right where Raiden was standing. In the blink of an eye, he was gone. As if the thunderbolt transported him somewhere. That’s impossible, Demyx thought to himself and brushed the idea away. Out of nowhere, a volley of thunderbolts hit the ground around Demyx. Behind Demyx, a thunderbolt hit the ground. When the thunderbolt disappeared, Raiden stood in it’s place.
Wielding both of his chakrams, he brought them down. Each chakram tearing through one of Demyx’s shoulder blades. Arms useless now, Demyx’s sitar hit the ground after it’s fallen master. “Aww, man.” Demyx moaned. “It’s not over yet.” Raiden replied. He raised his chakrams to the air as they disappeared, returning to lighting bolts. Raiden whispered one word. “Thundaga”, he said, hands still raised towards the sky. Suddenly, one single thunderbolt hit Demyx. But not just any thunderbolt. A thunderbolt that would make Zeus jealous. It hit Demyx so fast, he couldn’t retaliate. When the thunderbolt disappeared, Demyx was dissolving into a pool of darkness. “Now it is”. Raiden said as he started to walk towards Axel and Siefer.​

 

[bond of flames]

my comp is messed up!i try to use tab, but it wont.i use the space bar about 5 times and when i save it, it look the same!arg!!

 

[bond of flames]

havnt updated in a long time. ok now.new chapter.i sucks but the next chapter is sweet in my opinion. but i need sum help on my writing technic.on paper my chapters are 2 pages.but they are really short in my posts.any help guys and girls?anyways, new chapter.

Chapter 5: Secrets Revealed

As Raiden walked towards Axel and Siefer, they tried to get ready, in case he attacked them. Axel glanced over to Siefer and saw that he had the same weapon that he had in the woods. “What is that, Siefer?”, Axel asked out of curiosity. “I call it a Gunblade”, Siefer replied. “Put it down. I’m not going to kill you.” Raiden said. For some reason, Axel and Siefer both believed him and left their battle stances. “Time for some answers.” Axel demanded. “Well, I was about to tell you but then Demyx showed up and Roxas ran, but never mind that now.” Raiden replied. “Demyx is....was with Organization 13. I am the leader of a different organization. We are the good guys. They....”.
He never got to finish his sentence because a large group of strange white creatures appeared from nowhere. “What are these things?”, Siefer said as one moved towards him. Siefer instinctively slashed at the creature, destroying it. Raiden replied, “They’re Dusks. We need to destroy them!” Raiden summoned is Wind and Thunder Wheels and jumped towards a group of Dusks. He quickly dismissed five. As Siefer and Raiden fought, Axel ran into a near-by alley because he was defenseless. Before he ran into the alley, Axel saw Roxas defeating the Dusks with his giant key. Great, now I’m the only defenseless one, Axel thought as he ran. A small group of three Dusks followed Axel into the alley. The Dusks surrounded him and slowly walked towards him. For some reason, Axel didn’t care about the creatures, he was angry at himself. Why do I run away and leave my friends? Axel thought. A fire ignited inside Axel. He picked up a metal pipe and swung at the strange creatures. The weapon didn’t do anything to them, it passed right through them. The fire in Axel erupted. The metal pipe dropped to the ground as Axel was engulfed in flames.​