What am I going to do after twenty-one?



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Dreaded_Desire62

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Sorry guys about this, but I just have been in deep thought for a long time. I am not sure how to say this, but I am nervous about being twenty-one. I already had a difficult time with being homeless and being in the hospital two to three years ago due to some family issues. But, I feel like I am going to lose everything and that I am going nowhere in my life. I feel like I've done nothing in my life and I have a lot of dreams that I never seem to work towards. I feel like I am never improving. And, I just get so angry and upset lately due to remembering what happened with my family and myself and often take out my pain in unorthodox ways. I feel like I have been going nowhere for awhile. Has anybody ever felt like this? If so, do you eventually grow out of it?
 
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KingdomKey

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This should probably be moved to the Help and Support thread.

I think a majority of people get scared, when they don't know what to do with their lives or have an idea of what they want to do. You're not the only out there, considering I know a few others quite like yourself.


Moving on, turning twenty one can feel like a major thing and you start asking yourself the really big questions. First, I'd suggest slowing down, there is no time limit and you've got time to come up with a plan or goals to try and achieve. Start out with smaller goals, this way you don't get overwhelmed and you can work your way up. You'll see improvement that way. Research what it is you want to do: like if its a dream job for example, find out the requirements you need in order to get that kind of job. Saving money will probably also help in the long run.

I'll admit, depending on what it is that you want to do; It will take time, but, you should also enjoy turning twenty-one and live in the moment. If you worry all the time, you won't be able to see what's in front of you until its too late.

As for your family problems, you may have to be more precise on why you think you're feeling this way and what problems you had with them. Things of the past, should be let go of and made peace with; you might of been more immature or having things thrown on your shoulders that you didn't want to deal with. So, don't be so hard on yourself.

You should also talk it out with your family, if you're concerned about the way things are going at home. It's best to mention it and let them know how you feel, rather then keeping it inside. Which can cause lots of stress.

I wouldn't say you grow out of worries like these, but, it's good to think about them and set up a plan for yourself. No matter how smaller is.

I hope this helps. :3
 

Dreaded_Desire62

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Well, yeah my family does cause me a lot of concern. I don't really get a long with them, especially not my mom. I mean, she isn't a bad person. She's just really in a bad situation. Her boyfriend treated us (my sister, mom and myself) like servants and gave his dog and cat the royal treatment. He frankly scares me for several personal reasons. And, I just really hate the fact that my mom is with him, but I can't dictate her life. I did try to help her get back on her feet, but somehow she just went back to him. And, yes, sorry if it's in the wrong thread. Can one of the mods move it there? I really am uncomfortable talking about my mom and her boyfriend, but I just want to move away and stop feeling like I live in their shadow all the time.
 

KingdomKey

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Normally the mods move it, but, yeah I can ask. C:

To start out with, I think most personal things are hard to talk about and feeling uncomfortable discussing. However, many have been in simalar situations here and I've seen quite a few personal threads. But, given what you said, it gives a clearer picture of your situation and you don't need to explain any further than that.

Do you have any other relatives you can go to about this situation? I mean, if someone scares you, you really should mention it because, you are important too, and you shouldn't have to feel uncomfortable around them or let alone at home for that matter. Dictating her life is the last thing you should be worrying about! I'd hardly call it dictating even. There may be some conflict in discussing it with your mother, but, it's best to get out in the open instead of letting this continue on.

Since you want to move away, I'd suggest applying for jobs and saving up as much as you can. I know that's not the easiest thing to do, but, its a good start, even if it may take some time.

As for living in their shadow, don't worry about what they're are doing or their problems. Focus more on yourself, because, you have a life of your own to live: not theirs.
 

Dreaded_Desire62

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Well, thankfully I don't live with my mom. But, she has shown up at my house before. Thankfully, she hasn't come here with her boyfriend or my sister yet. I really hope she doesn't. I mean, I don't want to get a restraining order against her, because she is my mother and I don't want to go to court.
 

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If you feel stagnant, it's up to you to change that. Nobody is going to make your life better but you. I know that sounds really harsh, but that's honestly not how I meant it. I think a lot of people are unhappy with the way their lives are, and they honestly want to accomplish more and succeed, but it's not at all easy (especially with your conditions!). The best thing you can do is just keep trying; if you keep doubting yourself or dwelling on what you have or haven't done, you're never going to move on and do what you really want to do.

Just keep trying. Don't worry about your family if all they're going to do is be harmful to who you are. Just stay true to yourself and your goals and you'll be okay.
 

Dreaded_Desire62

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If you feel stagnant, it's up to you to change that. Nobody is going to make your life better but you. I know that sounds really harsh, but that's honestly not how I meant it. I think a lot of people are unhappy with the way their lives are, and they honestly want to accomplish more and succeed, but it's not at all easy (especially with your conditions!). The best thing you can do is just keep trying; if you keep doubting yourself or dwelling on what you have or haven't done, you're never going to move on and do what you really want to do.

Just keep trying. Don't worry about your family if all they're going to do is be harmful to who you are. Just stay true to yourself and your goals and you'll be okay.
You're right. I am in college thankfully. But, onto other news, I just keep trying to be an art therapist.
 
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