Idiot, of course people care.
You justify your own existence by choosing whether to listen to people like your mother.
The real world tends not to be as flash as this one, but friends make it all the more enjoyable. So I'll play if you want, but if you're looking to completely and utterly destroy some n00b or otherwise stuck-up insolent good for nothing wannabe a decent roleplayer prick, then I might just help you instead.
Busting egos is fun. >=D
Stuck up insolent prick reporting for duty.
Were this anyone else, I'd flame them for self amusement. But I'm gonna put in an effort cos' I happen to like you.
Problem 1. Mummy. I've expressed my opinion on this multiple times, have I not? We all need to become self-sufficient at some point. For me, it was the point that I realized that the only thing in my life that honestly pissed me off to the point of raising my voice was being around my own mother. Were it only up to me, which due to my own short-sightedness and shortcomings it is not, I would offer you a room in a heartbeat. If you have a problem, fix it. There's plenty of cheap places to rent in this town, and I know for a fact that you can deal with the work necessary to support yourself. And if you ever have nowhere else to turn, I can always put you up for a few nights.
Problem 2. Failure as a lifeform.
Have you spent any time with me recently? And you think you're a failure. When it comes to that, I'm sorry, but you've got nothing. My entire self is defective. My eyes are flawed. I can't see have the colour range anyone else can. My ears are damaged. I have one-fifth the hearing capacity of an average person. My body is weak and moves slowly. Even my mind works at a slower rate then that of others. I can't understand an instruction or command unless someone sits down and spells it out for me. And even then, I miss half the words because of my hearing. Worse, things only seem to be regressing. I look back to two or three years ago and it seems like I was twice as intelligent, twice as comprehensive as I am now. It just feels like my mind is dying day by day, until eventually I won't be able to do anything at all. The only way I can try and keep myself positive is to escape into another world, such as a book, game, or roleplay, where I am someone else entirely. That, or force my mind to stop thinking about it by consuming enough alcohol that I can barely tell where I am. Sadly, I am at my happiest when I'm as far away from myself as I can get. When I'm lost in such a stupor that just for a few short hours, I can actually be around other people without questioning if they are spending time with me because they like me, or because they pity me.
That, or when I'm with people I know I can trust to accept me for who I am. Ya'know, the kind of rare friend who you'll do anything for, and you know would do anything for you. I don't think it's necessary to elaborate on the specific people I count among those rare few. Between friends like that, some things just don't need to be said aloud.
You don't need to smile, think positive, or any of that bullshit. If you smile when you aren't happy, what's the point in the smile at all? Isuues aint' gonna resolve themselves because you're sitting there thinking of lush fields of flowers populated by bunnies, kittens, and naked women begging to bear your children.
What I'm getting at here, or trying to anyway, is that you've got a lot of things I don't. Conversation skills, work ethic, motivation... All that you lack is
opportunity and
experience. And to get those, you have to **** things up a few times, get a few scars. But in the end, is it better to have the scars, and deal with the pain? Or stay at home, unscarred and unblemished, but unhappy?
And you need to talk to people. No one person can live their entire life without human contact and still be a normal person. What works for me is to grab someone I can trust, drink myself silly, and cry on their shoulder for a few hours. If you don't talk about these things, let it out every once in a while, you just get worse and worse. And speaking of which, my neighbour and I just so happen to be in possession of four litres of triple-distilled, 94% pure alcohol, guaranteed to get you very ****ed up in a very short time, with a minimum of nasty side effects like vomiting and hangovers. The offer's there.
Just keep this in mind: You also have one thing most people don't. Perspective. If you take a person who's never played a sport themselves, but spent most their life watching it, that person is probably going to understand the game better then the players. They're gonna know the mistakes their own team makes, so they won't make the same ones themselves.And if you don't understand what I mean by that, then you'll just have to play the game a couple times, get a few scars, and then think about it.
And one more thing. You say life is pointless. But given the option of living, or not living, well, when it comes down to it, you aint' exactly got anything better to be doing. May as well just sit back and enjoy it while it lasts.
Let me fill you in on my little philosophy of mankind. Humanity is, in essence, a flawed species. Every act any human makes, no matter how selfless it may appear, has some form of advantage or gain for them. It may be pride, to be proud of oneself, of have the pride and respect of others. It may be lust, greed, ect. What I'm saying is that nobody is perfect, and in the end, everyone's in it for themselves. Just knowing that, however, makes a lot of things much easier. Once you know what drives a person, what they get from a given situation, you can manipulate that situation. Not manipulation as most envision it, but small manipulations to find a more favorable outcome for oneself. For example. If you know, in a social situation, what a given person is seeking, ect. Acceptance, Justification, Change... you can provide that person with what they need. And they, in return, will reciprocate. Not exactly 'Do unto others...', but more of a case of 'I'll scratch your back...'.
My realization of this was a major turning point for the better in my life. One which has only eroded because of my own insecurities. You've asked me on a number of occasions for advice, or I've shoved it down your throat anyway. But whenever I do give you advice, I'm thinking back to the things I did right, and the things I did wrong back then, and trying to help you find that same feeling that I savored so much.
Now get your ass over to my place Saturday Night or I'll stick a certain something in a certain place, without using a certain lubrication, and I don't mean giving you a wet willy without spitting on my finger.
