My Poem thread...

[Dark-Disciple]

Well, ehh, I think so. If it looks like it's so, then yes, whatever works. I'm working on next month's now, I should get it in soon.

 

[Dark-Disciple]

here's this month's

Poem

How was It I saw you, on that rainy night?
You saw me , I saw you and gave up my might.
.
And so I ne'er was struck before that hour
with love so sudden and so sweet.

Her face it bloomed like a sweet flower
And stole my heart away complete.

I liked the moment, it drove me away
I will never forget what you got to say

And so you gave me quite a scare,
When you said you were going away…

I never saw so sweet a face
As that I stood before.

My heart had left its dwelling place
And can return to me no more.

 

[yuffie vs kairi]

sorry DD but i didn't really get it!! altough i luved the grammer n style!!!!!!!!!! *thumbs up*

 

[Dark-Disciple]

Thanks.... I'll start working on the other one soon...

 

[Dark-Disciple]

Done with the other one..... I'll post it as soon as I get to my computer though (friend's house at the moment...)

 

[yuffie vs kairi]

k can't wait!! i can't believe that m the only one that posts here wit u!!

 

[Dark-Disciple]

HAHA ^_^ true....

Here's the new one:

I try again to keep you here,
Yet you don't help, yet you don't hear

Am I to lose this fight?
Am I to live in neverending night?

Was I not ment to love?
is my heart still opened not?

To pass this trough,
To take the truth

To live being a shell,
To live in an ongoing hell

This pain does hurt I have to say
But yet I'll find a way

There's light that still not leaves
My heart has keept its beat

And hope this gives,
And life it brings

To a day I'll awake,
From this deep dream...

 

[Enchanted Rose]

Where are you getting your poems from dark-diciple?

 

[yuffie vs kairi]

wow! superb as alwayz m goin 2 tell people about u

 

[Dark-Disciple]

Where are you getting your poems from dark-diciple?

I make them............(*stupid 25 character rule......)..............................

 

[yuffie vs kairi]

hahaha! yes he does make em! n he is good @ it

 

[LadyKairi_19]

All your poems are good d-d! ^_^ 9.5/10

I can relate ^_^

 

[yuffie vs kairi]

u c d-d i told u ur poems will eventually be noticed n if ER n lady kairi have read em jus now they'll spread the word!!

 

[Dark-Disciple]

haha ^_^ Good to know... I feel so special now.

I'll start working on the next one, I have to find time though... even though I'm in vacations, I've been really busy...

 

[Dark-Disciple]

Sorry for the long delay......
(ok... the REALLY long delay....)
But here are the newest ones:

‘Darkest Farewell’

(I wrote this after listening to the song ‘ONE’ by Metallica. Whoever has heard it will find parallels between them)

Sweet Surrender, mind this as the melancholic cries from a battered soul.
What more can a man gain from his life once the end is so near?
Bring more to me of that bitter cup, so foul
To all my beloved I apologize for the farewell they shall never hear.

Sweet Surrender, deaf, blind and mute.
Take away my ears to rid that wretched tone, acute.
At last to thee I shall forbade my screams
For none but YOU has eyes to see my mortal wounds

Sweet Surrender, my last and truest friend
I beseech you to embrace my parting words
For no one else will ever have such honor
As to see me one last time.

‘Poem for the Unworthy’

For what else can a man ask?
When he has it all but deserves none
For what else can a man dream?
When he has failed to do what mattered most.

For when a man is faced
With the fruits of his incompetence
All meaning shall be lost
For he will drown in mental sorrow

For when than man will come to see
That all he has should not be his,
The deepest pain will plague his core
For then that man will fail to dream
And hell for him has just begun

And soon that man will plead
For time to clear his tainted name
But he will know too late.
That time itself is but finite.


A New Found Love

Another petal falls from a dying rose,
And with it slips another dream
Of memories once tightly held inside
As tokens from a blissful life

Away each falls to ground and withers
‘till nothing else is left
And then all fears shall feast
On the sentiments that were

Another petal falls from a dying rose
Yet all in vain it breaks apart
For I have found a lively bud
That brings within a happier life


________________________________________

I hoped you guys enjoyed them and I’ll leave it now for you guys to tell me what you think^

 

[Miss Murder]

Ooh, very nice, DD. I have to say I liked and enjoyed all of them. One bit of critique I have, however, is to make words rhyme slightly more than you have already been. Not necessarily every sentance or two has to rhyme, but just every section should have at least one rhyming pair to have an exquisite flow.

Very nice work. ^.^ You're a great poet, to say the least.

 

[Dark-Disciple]

Thank you^ However, remember, not all forms of poetry have to rhyme. Still, I will attempt to improve the flow on the next one.^

I will start working on a new one soon. However, I still have to catch up with some work from school so I might not finish it untill next week^

 

[anime_chic]

nice poem, it makes me think of making my own poem

 

[Dark-Disciple]

^_^ thank you,
but which one?

lol, there are quite a lot, so I'm not sure which one you are talking about^

 

[anime_chic]

all of them, your a good writer