Bring up the Holy Hand Grenade!
Slight pause. Then from the area where the 'HORSES' are, a small group of MONKS process forward towards the KNIGHTS, the leading MONK bearing and ornate golden reliquary, and the accompanying MONKS chanting and waving incense. They reach the KNIGHTS. The hand grenade is suffused with the holy glow.
ARTHUR takes it. Pause
ARTHUR
How does it ... er ...
LAUNCELOT
I know not.
ARTHUR
Consult the Book of Armaments.
BROTHER MAYNARD
Armaments Chapter Two Verses Nine to Twenty One.
ANOTHER MONK
(reading from bible)
And St. Attila raised his hand grenade up on high saying
"O Lord bless this thy hand grenade that with it thou mayest blow
thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy. "and the Lord did grin and
people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orang-utans and breakfast cereals and fruit bats and...
BROTHER MAYNARD
Skip a bit brother ...
ANOTHER MONK
... Er ... oh, yes ... and the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin, then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shalt be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thou foe, who being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.
ARTHUR
Right.
SO FUNNY!