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Takushi Rena

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LOST TIME MEMORY: Kingdom Hearts
[Warning: swearing and violence!]

I've been working on a radioplay script for almost a year now to go along with my Overbit Chaos story, and I'm almost to the point where I can finish it and start recording for it. (Yay! ;w;) But, before I got to the final draft, I did want to get some feedback and improve on this story as much as I can.

This is the second draft and the story, for the most part, is set. It's a bit messy still, and I'm going to edit things like dialogue, characters, and all that fun stuff, but everything that happens is going to stay as it is. (If something is missing from the draft, I made a note of it so you know what's going on~)

I'm only putting up the first two scenes for now, but I'll add the rest later!

Any feedback would be greatly appreciated (I'll give you cookies! ;w;), but here's the script! I divided it up into scenes to make things easier to read, hopefully~ :T Thank you so much for reading this! ;w;

Theme!

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Roxie1563

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Re: LOST TIME MEMORY [Kingdom Hearts]

Argh, you really had to stop it there, didn't you? T_T

I was soo hooked to that story of yours! I love it!! :D Please post more of it soon!

You're very good at tugging my feels.. :3 Now.. Where's my cookie?! >:D
 

KingdomKey

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Re: LOST TIME MEMORY [Kingdom Hearts]

Rena, you are a fabulous writer and script writer. This is a feat, I'd never be good at. I was extremely impressed with both scripts of the story. Starcatchers definitely caught my eye within minutes, and I'd love to know more about them. Just what does it mean to be a Master Starcatcher? Can I also just say hands down, Enigma gives me the creeps. That parasite trick had me freaking out a little, since I dislike bugs a great deal, and I felt the horror and suspense and anxiety Axe felt through all of it. I can't thank you enough for sharing some of your story with us, Rena. C:
 

Takushi Rena

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Re: LOST TIME MEMORY [Kingdom Hearts]

Argh, you really had to stop it there, didn't you? T_T

I was soo hooked to that story of yours! I love it!! :D Please post more of it soon!

You're very good at tugging my feels.. :3 Now.. Where's my cookie?! >:D
It was accidental, promise! XD; I meant to post all of it, but I didn't have time to bwah ;0; But I'll have time to post the rest today~ And thank you so much!! ;w; ...is it bad that i'm really ecstatic that it's feels-worthy? xD;; I've been worried that it won't tug on peoples' feels, especially since the later scenes are supposed to be quite sad.

And yosh, cookie! :D *gives cookie* Thank you! >w<

Rena, you are a fabulous writer and script writer. This is a feat, I'd never be good at. I was extremely impressed with both scripts of the story. Starcatchers definitely caught my eye within minutes, and I'd love to know more about them. Just what does it mean to be a Master Starcatcher? Can I also just say hands down, Enigma gives me the creeps. That parasite trick had me freaking out a little, since I dislike bugs a great deal, and I felt the horror and suspense and anxiety Axe felt through all of it. I can't thank you enough for sharing some of your story with us, Rena. C:
Oh my goodness, thank you, KitKat! ;A; why are you so nice omg

But yay, Enigma ish creepy! (I was worried that he wasn't xD;) And the Starcatchers are warriors that protect the town. Since Lunary Town is close to the Realm of Darkness, it tends to get "attacked" by the darkness, so the Starcatchers are there to protect it. Being a Master Starcatcher is like being a Keyblade Master, so the Masters are VERY strong warriors. However, the town has never been attacked by Heartless, so they weren't strong enough to take them on. I should probably put a better explanation in the story, but I'm not sure where to put it in ;0;

But eee, thank you so much for all of the feedback! <3 I greatly appreciate it! I'll put up the rest of the script later tonight, too. :D
 

Takushi Rena

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Re: LOST TIME MEMORY [Kingdom Hearts]

Here's the rest of the story! It's quite long, but I hope you enjoy it! ;w;

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KingdomKey

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Re: LOST TIME MEMORY [Kingdom Hearts] - Complete!

I dislike Enigma greatly. How dare he kill Luna and Yeal! Oh the feelz I got from that scene withLuna dying in Aex's arms. The song that went with that scene was absolutely perfect. Aex went through so much, that it amazes me he can keep going for both their sakes. Just what is Enigma, really? What is so important about this crystal? I wonder if, Aex will ever get to see those two again, or if it was really...goodbye. Is there hope left for Aex? As for Master Yeal, I was honestly shocked that he was dying, after assuming he was okay, until the poison was revealed. You'd think curaga would heal everything.

This was both so good and sad. Thank you for sharing more of your story with us, Rena, and the length of each chapter was perfect. Definitely worth the wait to read it too.
 

Takushi Rena

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Re: LOST TIME MEMORY [Kingdom Hearts] - Complete!

I dislike Enigma greatly. How dare he kill Luna and Yeal! Oh the feelz I got from that scene withLuna dying in Aex's arms. The song that went with that scene was absolutely perfect. Aex went through so much, that it amazes me he can keep going for both their sakes. Just what is Enigma, really? What is so important about this crystal? I wonder if, Aex will ever get to see those two again, or if it was really...goodbye. Is there hope left for Aex? As for Master Yeal, I was honestly shocked that he was dying, after assuming he was okay, until the poison was revealed. You'd think curaga would heal everything.

This was both so good and sad. Thank you for sharing more of your story with us, Rena, and the length of each chapter was perfect. Definitely worth the wait to read it too.
Thank you so much!! ;w; Is it bad that my goal with this was for it to be sad? >.>; Only 'cause Aex has a sad backstory. But I'm planning on releasing one or two other scripts and those are thankfully not as sad; probably depressing, though...

Ohoh as for the story stuff...
Spoiler Spoiler Show
If anyone's interested, I can also post the other scripts I'm working on here, though it'll be a while (since one has a completed first draft and the other is barely written). Let me know if you're interested! Otherwise, this story's unfortunately over, but I'm working on the story that it's apart of, so more about the story will be explained later on! ;w;

Thank you so much again for all of the awesome comments!! <3

[Also, if anyone's interested in seeing what Aex looks like, here's a picture of him: Aex! (There's also a cute pixel of him in my sig >w<]
 

Takushi Rena

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Re: LOST TIME MEMORY [Kingdom Hearts] - Complete!

I'm working on the revision for this script, but I thought I'd share another script I have in mind. I don't know if I'm going to turn this into a radioplay yet, but I do like the idea, so it's likely.

There are some spoilers for Overbit Chaos in this (which all of these scripts are connected to), but since I haven't revealed any of the characters yet, it might not be too much of a spoiler lulz.

This is also incomplete and will be for a bit, since I have finals right now, but I may post the final version later.

For now, here's the a bit from the script! :D Let me know if you're interested in hearing more!
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Roxie1563

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Re: LOST TIME MEMORY [Kingdom Hearts] - Complete!

Aw, I wanted to read more of Aex's story! D: I smiled when he discovered of Sora's name and it gives you the warm fuzzy feelings ever! xD

;A; Please keep it going!
 

Takushi Rena

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Re: LOST TIME MEMORY [Kingdom Hearts] - Complete!

Eee, it did? ;w; yay! And unfortunately, his story is done right now D: But this is a prologue to Overbit Chaos, so it'll continue there! ;w; (...whenever i finish actually revising it lulz *hangs head in shame* ;A;)
 

Roxie1563

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Re: LOST TIME MEMORY [Kingdom Hearts] - Complete!

Eee, it did? ;w; yay! And unfortunately, his story is done right now D: But this is a prologue to Overbit Chaos, so it'll continue there! ;w; (...whenever i finish actually revising it lulz *hangs head in shame* ;A;)
Okay, glad to hear it. \^_^/

Aw, just take your time with it.. but don't linger too long, though.. that's the thing with stories. *looks at my inFamous story* I haven't started chapter six and yet, I'm debating to either recap (again) or follow the baddies for a bit. :/
 

Takushi Rena

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Re: LOST TIME MEMORY [Kingdom Hearts] - Complete!

Okay, glad to hear it. \^_^/

Aw, just take your time with it.. but don't linger too long, though.. that's the thing with stories. *looks at my inFamous story* I haven't started chapter six and yet, I'm debating to either recap (again) or follow the baddies for a bit. :/
Yeah, that's my goal ;0; I wanted to post this for feedback, but I'm planning on posting chapters every week; I just have to revise a certain number first lulz.

Hmm... maybe do a mini-recap, then follow the baddies? :D *shrug* How much time is there between when chapters are posted 'n stuff?
 

Roxie1563

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Re: LOST TIME MEMORY [Kingdom Hearts] - Complete!

Yeah, that's my goal ;0; I wanted to post this for feedback, but I'm planning on posting chapters every week; I just have to revise a certain number first lulz.

Hmm... maybe do a mini-recap, then follow the baddies? :D *shrug* How much time is there between when chapters are posted 'n stuff?
Ah, gotcha. :3

Could work. Well, I tend to wait for comments then post the chapters.. That is, if I can remember to do it. xD See, I wait a week and once I remember to update, I realize that I forgot! ;A; It's no fun once everything is up, I forget! T_T *clouds over my head*
 

Takushi Rena

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Re: LOST TIME MEMORY [Kingdom Hearts] - Complete!

Ah, gotcha. :3

Could work. Well, I tend to wait for comments then post the chapters.. That is, if I can remember to do it. xD See, I wait a week and once I remember to update, I realize that I forgot! ;A; It's no fun once everything is up, I forget! T_T *clouds over my head*
It's worth a shot! ;w; Maybe you could make a schedule and reminders for it, so you can get everything up consecutively without throwing all of the chapters up at once? (And yosh, it's no fun to have everything up at once ;A;)

And same here xD I hate double posting and spamming the threads, even if it's only one or two extra posts lulz.
 

Roxie1563

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Re: LOST TIME MEMORY [Kingdom Hearts] - Complete!

It's worth a shot! ;w; Maybe you could make a schedule and reminders for it, so you can get everything up consecutively without throwing all of the chapters up at once? (And yosh, it's no fun to have everything up at once ;A;)

And same here xD I hate double posting and spamming the threads, even if it's only one or two extra posts lulz.
Yeah, maybe I'll do that. :3

lol, I don't like spamming. It takes the fun out of anything.
 

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Re: LOST TIME MEMORY [Kingdom Hearts] - Complete!

I'm going to take a wild guess, that this story connects to a much larger one, yes? :) It took me awhile to realize that, but I'd like to assume so, after reading your spoiler box concerning Aex. And, I'm quite taken back to hear Enigma isn't entirely a villain. Since you've said he has a lot more to him as a character. You almost make him sound like a decent being. I mean this as a compliment btw. :D

oh how mysterious this next script is! Ten wouldn't happen to be a shorten version of a name, could it? I'm venturing a guess here. xD I can't get enough of Axel. Gosh, he really dislikes taking orders from Saix, and wasting his time. I'm curious what he'll do with Xiao. Thank you for sharing us scripts that connect to Overbit Chaos, Rena.
 

Takushi Rena

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Re: LOST TIME MEMORY [Kingdom Hearts] - Complete!

Yeah, maybe I'll do that. :3

lol, I don't like spamming. It takes the fun out of anything.
Okies! :D Lemme know if it helps? ;w; and yeah, it definitely does ;0;

I'm going to take a wild guess, that this story connects to a much larger one, yes? :) It took me awhile to realize that, but I'd like to assume so, after reading your spoiler box concerning Aex. And, I'm quite taken back to hear Enigma isn't entirely a villain. Since you've said he has a lot more to him as a character. You almost make him sound like a decent being. I mean this as a compliment btw. :D

oh how mysterious this next script is! Ten wouldn't happen to be a shorten version of a name, could it? I'm venturing a guess here. xD I can't get enough of Axel. Gosh, he really dislikes taking orders from Saix, and wasting his time. I'm curious what he'll do with Xiao. Thank you for sharing us scripts that connect to Overbit Chaos, Rena.
Yup, it definitely does! :D There's not really more worlds or anything, but I've written it so the characters are connected in ridiculous ways lulz. Not sure if this is a spoiler, but some of them knew each other before the story started and don't realize it. I guess, because of that, the story is HUGE, which is really fun to write about actually ;w; Not so great because of keeping track of everything, though, lulz. And yosh, he's not 100% evil~ c: I'll explain it as the story goes on, though it won't really be revealed until the end of the story. But I hope it's surprising when it's all revealed! ;w; And yaaaay thank yew for ze compliment xD He's a decent guy... sometimes >0>;

Woo, mysterious-ness! :D Nah, that's her whole name. (A silly name, but hey, it kinda works for her xD) And yay, thank yew about Axel! ;w; I was afraid that I didn't get his character right, even though it's a small part, so that's nice to hear~ I may add a part soon about what he does with Xiao, but it'll have to wait a little bit, unfortunately. But you're welcome! :> Thank you so much for reading them! (And I'm sorry for the ridiculous delay with the story ahhh ;0;)
 

Takushi Rena

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Re: LOST TIME MEMORY [Kingdom Hearts] - Complete!

Not sure if this'll be of too much interest, but for the project I'm working on, I adapted the KHOC prologue into a script~ It sounded fun to do! But here's the final product c: Any feedback would be awesome!
Spoiler Spoiler Show
 

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Re: LOST TIME MEMORY [Kingdom Hearts] - Complete!

I was not expecting that at all. Enigma is the one to have killed his Majesty, Riku and Sora?! :O I was really shocked by this and sadden how they died. I didn't think it was possible for somebody to destroy the keyblade either. Finally got that mystery revealed, since I think you wrote something similar to this before. It amazes me how each story and each tidbit you revealed Rena, is connected to one another. The feelz I got from this script were both heart breaking and amazing. Enigma is a really cool bad guy too. Curious why a simple blade can kill Mickey, Riku and Sora like that. Or maybe that's just the reality of it all, and its not like they were untouchable to begin with. Thanks for giving us another script to read, Rena! :D
 

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Re: LOST TIME MEMORY [Kingdom Hearts] - Complete!

Not sure if this'll be of too much interest, but for the project I'm working on, I adapted the KHOC prologue into a script~ It sounded fun to do! But here's the final product c: Any feedback would be awesome!
Spoiler Spoiler Show
That was actually awesome to read, I'm extremely curious and filled with a plethora of whys and hows. Your writing style is great and I love that you include the SFX prompts too because instead of just writing them and us reading them, when I read the prompt I hear the SFX in my head as I read and it really sets the scene.

Wicked!
 
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