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Fanfiction ► La Compilation (Kingdom Hearts: AU Infinities One Shot Series)



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Azrael

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La Compilation de Histoires de Reinos Corazones
(Directory)




http://forums.khinsider.com/fanficti...-series-6.html
Bringing Hakuna Matata to Twilight Town








 
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madammina

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Re: La Compilation des Histoires de Reino Corazones

NICE!

I like it, I like how things are described, the dialogue flows well, and I like how you have Axel supposed to pick him up.

I should pressure you more often
 
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Azrael

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Re: La Compilation des Histoires de Reino Corazones

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Author's Note:
Since I had a small collection of Kingdom Hearts-centric one shots and was no way pressured by Madammina to man up and post this, I decided to share it with you all in KHInsider. All of these stories are from my account in Fanfiction.net and have no connection to each other. I plan on making this into a collection of AC (alternate canon) mini-fic with some suggestions to changes in the canon. This one is based on the scene of Roxas and Xemnas in Kingdom Hearts II: Final Mix+ although it is a bit expanded to a certain degree. I hope you enjoy and review.
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La Compilation des Histoires de Reino Corazones
(AU Infinities)

Title:
A New Identity and A Purpose (Canon OTL)

Author:
Ziz

Beta Reader:
Lifes.Lover

Plot Summary:
Roxas and Xemnas meeting for the first time.
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The sun's bright radiant rays shone down on the unconscious boy who lay in the grass. Hearing birds chirping nearby, the boy began to open his eyes. The pupils of the unknown boy's eyes were the brightest shade of blue which matched the sky.

The boy raised his head and let out a soft groan, "Ugh...my head hurts." He placed his hand right over the spot in his head which caused pain to him while scratching those blond spiky locks of his. "Where the heck...am I?" The boy stood up on his own stretching out his arms in the meanwhile. "I should take a quick look around." He was surrounded by lush, green foliage and looked towards his left, a derelict looking mansion. It peaked the boy's youthful, child-like interest as to what laid inside the mansion although such interest to explore it were dashed by the closed gate that blocked him.

"Where am I to go from here??" He looked down at a puddle of water. A look of shock in his face as he sees what a tall stranger draped in a black cloak looming over him. "What the...." He takes a couple of steps back.

An enigmatic voice spoke, "Perhaps I can be of assistance to you...” A few seconds later, the voice then added as if it was an afterthought. "With a certain set of conditions put into place of course...I may be convinced to provide some aid to you."

"Who the hell are you?" The boy's eyes narrowed and he turned around.

A man in a black cloak was right in front of the gate; his face was unable to be seen. "Stay back," The boy went into a defensive fighting stance. The blond was taken aback at the sight of the sword that had materialized when a bright light shimmered. "Is this a giant key?" As soon as the shining key-shaped sword materialized in his hands, it quickly disappeared from his hands, "It's gone...”

"Hmph," The hooded man's eyes shimmered with utter satisfaction. "It seems that Vexen was correct in his research. You are a lot like him, the Keyblade's Chosen One." The stranger in the black cloak was to say the least intrigued. "You may be only half a person but you have so much potential. You do not have the control of the Keyblade that your true self has."

"What are you talking about?" The blond boy spoke angrily. "I am my own person and nobody can say otherwise!!"

"You're much like him. So naive and innocent of what he has become," The hooded man laughed and didn't take the blond teenager's threats seriously. "If that is the case what is your true name?" The hooded man asked out of a sudden. "That is...unless you need to look deep down within the memories in your heart to remember it."

He had been taken aback by surprise at the question presented to him by the stranger in the black cloak. "My true name...is....," He did not know what his name. So the blond boy attempted to do what the hooded man dared him to do and search deep down within the confines of his heart for the memory which contained the knowledge of his name. The boy felt nothing there and that shocked him. "I...I can't remember." The blond slumped down to the ground on his knees.

"Stand up." He ordered; the blond boy nodded and grudgingly stood up. The hooded stranger waved his hand around forming a small swirl of darkness which then became the purple-colored silhouette of a spiky haired boy wielding a sword...no a giant key. "You came into existence when your original self sacrificed himself into darkness by extracting his heart from his body. He no longer exists but his legacy lives on through you." The blonde sees the spiky haired boy stab himself with the blade and begin to fall down to the ground. He along with the Keyblade disappeared. "You are all that is left of the Keyblade's Chosen One."

"I am...what's left?" asked Roxas.

"Yes," He offered his hand to Roxas. "My purpose of coming to this world was to seek you out."

"You're telling you came all the way here just to seek me out?" The boy said dumbfounded not knowing what else to say. "But why?"

"I am here to present you an offer that you would have to be a fool to refuse."

"Which is what exactly?"

"I am offering you what you truly desire right now," The hooded man offered a hand and smiled, "There are people a lot like you who are only nonexistent remnants who seek to be whole again just like you. People if you get to know them will become like a surrogate family...a brotherhood of Nobodies who live in a castle which in time will become your home." His orange eyes stared into the boy's blue eyes. "Will you please join our brotherhood of the void....Organization XIII?" Knowing that he had his full attention, the hooded man said, "We all seek to become our own Somebodies."

"To become my own Somebody and have people to call my family." He knew that he had nothing going for him in this place and the offer that the hooded man presented was just too good to pass up. The blond boy nodded his head and whispered. "Yes, I will join you."

"Wise choice you've made, chosen wielder of the Keyblade." The hooded man grinned victoriously. "Now I shall give you a second chance at life. Now it is time to cast off the memories of your original, inferior self and be born again as your own person." The hooded man waved his hands around allowing the blonde boy to see golden letters floating in front of him.

The boy glanced at the letters and whispered out the name that the letters formed. "Sora."

The hooded man now began to scramble the letters around in front of the boy and then added the letter X in the middle forming a new name.

"Roxas..." He groaned in pain and places his hands on his head. "My head hurts..."

"Now this time...” The hooded man asked again. "Tell me your name and your choice to my offer."

The blonde boy stared at the man and answered confidently. "My name is Roxas....I AM Roxas."

"That is excellent to hear." The hooded man grinned. "Roxas, I hereby name you number XIII of our ever-expanding Organization XIII and present you with the title of the Key of Destiny." The man turned around and raised his hand summoning a corridor of darkness. "Another member of the Organization Number VIII will come tomorrow to retrieve you and bring you to us in our stronghold at Castle Oblivion. We shall meet again soon." The hooded man disappeared from Roxas' sight leaving him alone.

Roxas smiled and nodded. "Likewise, I'll see you soon."
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madammina

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Re: La Compilation des Histoires de Reino Corazones

TOTALLY do a ZRK, but you have to keep to my Kelsie guidelines if that's okay. I don't want her to be a slut or have a sailors mouth

And not a problem
 

Muse

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Re: La Compilation des Histoires de Reino Corazones

Nice oneshot. :)
 
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Azrael

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Re: La Compilation des Histoires de Reino Corazones

Nice oneshot. :)

Much gracias. Since I plan on making this into a compilation of Alternate KH universe stories, you can offer ideas which you want implemented to a one shot.

And Madammina. Totally willing to do a ZRK in the future
 

madammina

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Re: La Compilation des Histoires de Reino Corazones

Good to hear!

Since Identities will be working on a semi separate plotline of WotU.

Um... besides ZRK, how about if Marluxia beat Axel?
 
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Azrael

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Re: La Compilation des Histoires de Reino Corazones

Good to hear!

Since Identities will be working on a semi separate plotline of WotU.

Um... besides ZRK, how about if Marluxia beat Axel?

Haven't thought about that, I'll think of it for a third one shot.
 

MasterHearts7762

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Re: La Compilation des Histoires de Reino Corazones

Ooooh nice :D I like how you portrayed the whole scene of Roxas joining the Org, and how he got his name. I could see it perfectly.
So you won't eat me now, right?
 
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Azrael

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Re: La Compilation des Histoires de Reino Corazones

Of course not

Here's a cookie.
 

Lifes.Lover

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Re: La Compilation des Histoires de Reino Corazones

You're gonna wish that you hadn't asked me to read this. I critique.

Your grammar is pretty good, but you still could do better. Grammar Nazi alert!

First of all, when describing Roxas, you call him blonde.

Blonde is French, which means that you need to use the words in their correct gender, seeing as how French isn't nice like English and uses gender specifications.

Thus, blonde is used for females. Blond is used for males.

The same goes for brunette- female. Brunet- male.

Also, when writing dialogue, you need to continue the action.

EX.: "You're much like him." He described.

This is wrong. You see, the ending 'he described' is describing the dialogue, and thus should be a part of the sentence. This means that you can't end the dialogue in a period, and then go on to say 'he described'.

It needs to be:

EX.: "You're much like him," he described.

Notice the comma in place of the period? That let's it continue as the one sentence it really is. This is always done when using actions to describe the dialogue.

However, if it's something like this:

EX.: "You're much like him." He smiled.

Then it's fine, due to it not being an action that's describing the previous dialogue.

You also have a tendency to not use commas where they're due, like seperating the proper parts of the sentence. This, however, is not as big a problem.

You also switched between past and present tense when describing the actions going on between Roxas and Xemnas, but that really isn't too big of a problem. It actually adds to the over all tone when doing this. Just don't overdo it- distracts the readers.

I could probably find more if I looked, but I'm lazy and I'm sure you really don't care about the grammar.

Other than this, I really enjoyed it. You're very good at describing the thoughts, confusion, and the over all 'WTF?!' that Roxas is dealing with during the scene.

So, overall, it's a really nice oneshot, and I enjoyed reading it.
 
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Azrael

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Re: La Compilation des Histoires de Reino Corazones

You're gonna wish that you hadn't asked me to read this. I critique.

Your grammar is pretty good, but you still could do better. Grammar Nazi alert!

First of all, when describing Roxas, you call him blonde.

Blonde is French, which means that you need to use the words in their correct gender, seeing as how French isn't nice like English and uses gender specifications.

Thus, blonde is used for females. Blond is used for males.

The same goes for brunette- female. Brunet- male.

Also, when writing dialogue, you need to continue the action.

EX.: "You're much like him." He described.

This is wrong. You see, the ending 'he described' is describing the dialogue, and thus should be a part of the sentence. This means that you can't end the dialogue in a period, and then go on to say 'he described'.

It needs to be:

EX.: "You're much like him," he described.

Notice the comma in place of the period? That let's it continue as the one sentence it really is. This is always done when using actions to describe the dialogue.

However, if it's something like this:

EX.: "You're much like him." He smiled.

Then it's fine, due to it not being an action that's describing the previous dialogue.

You also have a tendency to not use commas where they're due, like seperating the proper parts of the sentence. This, however, is not as big a problem.

You also switched between past and present tense when describing the actions going on between Roxas and Xemnas, but that really isn't too big of a problem. It actually adds to the over all tone when doing this. Just don't overdo it- distracts the readers.

I could probably find more if I looked, but I'm lazy and I'm sure you really don't care about the grammar.

Other than this, I really enjoyed it. You're very good at describing the thoughts, confusion, and the over all 'WTF?!' that Roxas is dealing with during the scene.

So, overall, it's a really nice oneshot, and I enjoyed reading it.

I might make you my editor from now on. Please say yes? Shit you're a grammar Nazi!
 
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Azrael

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Re: La Compilation des Histoires de Reino Corazones

I know, right!?

I've gotta be one if I want to be a professional writer. It's good to get the practice in now, before it matters.

If you'd like me to be, sure.

Hell yeah, why not? You're hired.
 

Organization_42

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Re: La Compilation des Histoires de Reino Corazones

Hey, nice job!

You also have a tendency to not use commas where they're due, like seperating the proper parts of the sentence. This, however, is not as big a problem.

Yeah, I had a bit of an issue with this too, but other than that, it was pretty well-written. I like the way you wrote Roxas and Xemnas.

People if you get to know them will become like a surrogate family...

Albeit a very dysfunctional one, lol!
 
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