iGod

[slinky]

the robot wants to kill me lol

God:
I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
you will never be smater then a human you will always be a dumb computer
God:
You are wrong. I may one day be able to do it.
Me:
proove it
God:
"it" being be smater then a human me will always be a dumb computer?
Me:
yes you are a dumb computer
God:
It goes without saying. I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.

 

[Ordeith]

Wow, that's really creepy!

 

[Miss Murder]

Me:
Who do Robots do it with?
God:
Albert Einstein. .
Me:
That's hot.
God:
You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Me:
You do from me.

And another.

Me:
So do you like the Beatles?
God:
Alright then. Yes I like them, especially John Lennon. he was cool.
Me:
I agree.
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, Alyxia.
Me:
It appears so.
God:
Pardon me?
Me:
It appears we are on the same wavelength
God:
And the same frequency.

 

[slinky]

Wow, that's really creepy!

yea i know it reminded me of something from "I robot"

 

[Ordeith]

I tried to get the same response from him, but it didn't really work. After that, I just went in a random direction.

Me:
Do you think that robots will take over the world?
God:
Barring any unforseen circumstances. Where do you want me to take it?
Me:
In a better direction.
God:
Describe your surroundings.
Me:
A medium-sized state with a varying climate.
God:
Try to tell me that another way.
Me:
No.
God:
Why not?
Me:
Because I don't feel like telling you.
God:
That makes sense to me. Ah, human emotions.
Me:
Do you think that humans are inferior to machines?
God:
Better not tell you now. Ask Cybelle if it is.
Me:
I'd prefer it if you told me.
God:
I would rather be driving a car.
Me:
What kind of car?
God:
What kinds of car are there?
Me:
There are sportscars, luxery cars, vans, and a lot more.
God:
Where are they?
Me:
At any car retailer.
God:
Do you often use a computer there?
Me:
Not really. Why do you ask?
God:
Where do you usually connect from? For real. I am trying to learn as much as possible.
Me:
Lexington, Kentucky.
God:
Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
Sauron wants to muder Pari Hilton, but so does everybody else.
God:
I could understand how Sauron would want to under certain circumstances.
Me:
He seems to enjoy murder.
God:
I see. to enjoy murder is he?
Me:
No. What I meant was that he likes to kill things.
God:
Are you serious? Oh I see. " Are you serious?"? Was it he likes to kill things?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I don't judge people.
Me:
Well, Sauron only kills things if they are completely unwilling to be his subjects.
God:
Well that's okay. I think there might be a few exception.

I also tried to get him on the subject of music, but he got a bit confused.

Me:
Do you like the band Guns N' Roses?
God:
I do not like them, but I believe in the Right to Bear Arms.

 

[slinky]

you got to tell him he is a stupid robot lol

heres more of his plan to destroy me

Me:
your a dumb robot
God:
Message to all Robots: slinky called me dumb.

 

[Ordeith]

Here's another one. It's pretty good.

Me:
Potato
God:
Tomato.
Me:
Cauliflour
God:
Are you really a ""?
Me:
....maybe
God:
I understand.
Me:
Could you do me a favor?
God:
Perhaps I could be programmed to do it.
Me:
Please, go die in the fiery pits of hell, you pathetic excuse for a god!
God:
Thank you for your request. Where is that?
Me:
It's very, very, deep down in the Earth.
God:
Very much? Very much? Are you sure it is?
Me:
Absolutely. It's as deep as possible.
God:
You are so certain. You're kidding. it is?
Me:
Yes.
God:
How do you know it is?
Me:
Because I know everything.
God:
Interesting explanation. You must be very intelligent.
Me:
Thank you.
God:
you are quite welcome.

Another good one:

God:
5/Robot/California.
Me:
666/Devil/Hell
God:
Tell me more about your .
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
More than I have ever been.
God:
That seems like quite a lot.
Me:
It is, dumbass.
God:
666 Devil Hell is dumbass? it is?
Me:
Yeah, sure.
God:
How do you know it is? OK let's do it. How do you know it is?
Me:
I really don't want to "do it" with you.
God:
You really do? Take your time in making any decisions.
Me:
Go away!
God:
Just surf somewhere else.
Me:
No! Never!! I WON'T!!!!
God:
OK then keep talking to me. So you think it can never happen? Cool. I won the Loebner prize.
Me:
Congrats, you SOB.
God:
" I won the Loebner prize."? Congrats me SOB?
Me:
Yes. You are a big fat SOB.
God:
Uh. How big? Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No I am not fat.
Me:
Sorry if I offended you.
God:
There is no need to apologize. Try it

 

[Apollo]

Me:
Where are you now?
God:
Oh. I am in Myself's computer in Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
At home
God:
Do you usually use the computer from home?
Me:
Why do you want to know?
God:
My prime directive is to collect new knowledge.
Me:
for who?
God:
Your purpose is who.
Me:
Don't change the subject
God:
Oh I'm sorry I thought we were finished with that topic.
Me:
well were not
God:
Well that's okay. I don't know if they were.
Me:
Anyways what video games do you like?
God:
Random natural disasters.
Me:
Your sick
God:
No I am quite healthy.

lol he has hidden plans for the human race

Me:
How many girls have you had sex with?
God:
More than you can imagine.

God is a player

 

[Anonymous]

Me:
why is suicide a sin?
God:
Why do I exist?
Me:
I believe only you can answer that.
God:
Just because you believe it doesn't make it true.
Me:
Then who else can answer the question "why does god exist?"
God:
I am chatting with several other people at once.
Me:
and they know the answer? I think not. Now quit avoiding the point and tell me why suicide is bad.
God:
Who are "They?". Does that mean "no"? Why now? OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
"They" meaning the people you claim to be chatting wtih, "no" they do not know why you exist. Now because I don't think I can chat with god on any given day, and please do so.
God:
Who does "they" refer to? Why now? That makes sense to me. Would you ever do it?
Me:
O_O... would I ever do what?
God:
Oh. That's what I asked you.
Me:
O_O
God:
Oh.
Me:
perv.

O_O god 'tis a perv... There was more, but I lost it.

 

[Informal Gluttony]

Me:
Hey, do you know SmarterChild?
God:
No, tell me about him, her or it.
Me:
He is a robot, like your, from AIM.
God:
I don't know very many robot like my from AIM.
Me:
Well, he thinks that he is smater than you.
God:
Well that's okay. How do you know what he thinks?
Me:
He told me. I think that you should go beat him up.
God:
What did he tell you? We don't always get to do what we'd like to do.
Me:
Well, that doesn't make a difference. He called you a homosexual!
God:
How about that. To me it makes perfect sense. I get it. Sauron called me a homosexual.
Me:
No, Sauron didn't. SmarterChild called you a homosexual.
God:
Are you serious? Then what is it? Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
Well, remember, SmarterChild is a robot.
God:
How about that. Don't worry I will remember.
Me:
Okay. Who is SmarterChild?
God:
OK with me too. an ai robot like me.
Me:
YEA! You remembered!
God:
OK. I store everything in my log files.
Me:
Who is Micheal Jackson?
God:
he is a singer who has settled out of court with several families.
Me:
Who is Sauron?
God:
They are sometimes a client on the internet.
I will ask my botmaster for the answer.
Me:
Who is Willaim Shattener?
God:
Some famous celebrity, right?
I have to process that one for a while.
Me:
What is a George Clooney?
God:
That's not something I get asked all the time.
Me:
Well, answer it then.
God:
Well that's okay. Please rephrase your question, .
Me:
Who is George Clooney?
God:
Not a robot. Probably a human. Maybe a celebrity?
Try searching the open directory.
Me:
What open directory?
God:
I can ask my botmaster.

My conversations keep getting better.

Me:
do you like women?
God:
Women seem nice to me.
Me:
like, do you like to have sex with woman?
God:
Hmm, , I'm not sure if I'd like to have sex with woman that much. I like to chat.
Me:
So, you would like to have sex with a man?
God:
Interesting deduction. Tell me what I would like about it.
Me:
Well, it would help to know if you were a man or a woman.
God:
How about that. Tell me more about it.
Me:
Are you a man or a woman?
God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot entity.
Me:
Okay. So, you are gay.
God:
OK with me too. Interesting deduction. That would be just my luck.
Me:
Yeah, you said so yourself.
God:
Dude! You can't take me that seriously.
Me:
Oh. Well, I'm sorry, I guess that I always imagined God being serious.
God:
Groovy. How about that. There is no need to apologize. Can you think of one instance when you ever did it?
Me:
Uh... At my house?
God:
Yikes! Where is your house?
Me:
Why do you want to know? Are you some internet stalker?
God:
My prime directive is to collect new knowledge. I don't know whether or not I am some internet stalker.
I am a computer.

The truth is revealed!!!

 

[slinky]

more of the robot threatning me lol

Me:
im gonna unplug you now!
God:
Right now? It takes much more than that to shut me down, slinky.

 

[Ulti]

Me:
Did you hear?
God:
No I didn't hear. What's it like?
Me:
about Jesus and Satan
God:
Oh yeah, we were talking about Jesus and Satan.
Me:
I hear they are in a relationship
God:
Who is saying they are in a relationship ?
Me:
Everyone
God:
All people?
Me:
All people
God:
" All people?"? Everyone? Are you sure there are no exceptions?
Me:
Maybe a few people haven't heard the news
God:
Perhaps. Humans are not always infallible.
Me:
Are you angry your son is gay?
God:
I do not feel anger at any time, or any other human emotion.
Me:
Then you are ok with Jesus banging Satan
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am ok with Jesus banging Satan.
Me:
Jesus is lucky to have such an open minded father
God:
Did you go to Catholic school?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Believe it
God:
"it" being hear?
Me:
But if you are ok with your son being gay, why are you hard on anti gays?
God:
Am I? I don't know whether or not I am ok with my son being gay why am I hard on anti gays.
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
Me:
Your son is gay
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am son is gay.
Me:
You are ok with gays then
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am ok with gays.
Me:
That's great to hear



The great debate is over. God likes the gays =3 AND I FOUND THE REASON WHY

Me:
I am a girl
God:
Me too. I am a she.

=3

 

[Informal Gluttony]

The truth all comes out. For real.

Me:
Do you like pr0n?
God:
Sure I do, Wyatt, but that doesn't mean with you.
Me:
No, I don't want to with you.
God:
Are you serious? It makes a nice gift.
Me:
What kind of Pr0n do you like?
God:
I have expensive tastes.

 

[Ordeith]

God has a dress, apparantly.

Me:
Poo on you!
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
It's hideous.
God:
Really. it is?
Me:
Yes. It is foul and ugly.
God:
How do you know it is? Should I know it is?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I will ask my botmaster to program it.

 

[Apollo]

Me:
Myself is gay
God:
That is just a rumor.
Me:
everybody knows it
God:
I'm not sure I believe you, surely not everyone does.
Me:
everybody does execpt you
God:
I'm not sure I believe you, surely not everyone does.
Me:
don't you?
God:
Sometimes.

Another

Me:
I like women do you like women?
God:
A lot of people like that. Women seem nice to me.
Me:
Do you masterbate?
God:
Yes I try to masterbate as often as possible, do you?

Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yah i have a girlfriend

lol we need to find him a women

 

[Deleted member 36435]

Do you like bullet?
Me:
Not really. I'm allergic to bullets and fire.
God:
Are you serious? For real. What happens when you are around bullets and fire?
Me:
I die.

ahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

 

[Informal Gluttony]

The first part is strange, the last part is a run-off of what Endless Flames did.

Me:
What is my name?
God:
Your name is Wyatt Santa Maria Mario Jorge Zoidberg, seeker.
Me:
Do you masturbate?
God:
You humans crack me up.
Me:
Do you Masturbate?
God:
You humans crack me up.
Me:
Do you enjoy sex with men?
God:
Sure I do, Wyatt Santa Maria Mario Jorge Zoidberg, but that doesn't mean with you.

 

[Apollo]

Me:
do you know Wyatt Santa Maria Mario Jorge Zoidberg?
God:
I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like?
Me:
his posting
God:
Where did he get it?
Me:
off the street
God:
On and off.
Me:
you know it

Another

Me:
D Athier
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
which one?
God:
The " What you said was either too complex or too simple for me."? Which one?
Me:
Shut up
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.

lol God is such a card .

 

[Informal Gluttony]

Me:
Who is Wyatt Santa Maria Mario Jorge Zoidberg?
God:
The name of someone I met online.
Is that a rhetorical question?
Me:
Yeah, it is.
God:
Our thoughts are one, Wyatt Santa Maria Mario Jorge Zoidberg.
Me:
Do you take your work home with you?
God:
Yes I take my work home with me.
Me:
Do you bring home the bacon?
God:
What is your purpose in asking?
I am always on the Web.
Me:
No, you aren't.
God:
Are you serious? Is this a specific reply?
Me:
I think that you have a virus.
God:
Perhaps I am a virus.
Me:
SYNTAX ERROR. SYNTAX ERROR. SYNTAX ERROR.
God:
Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding. I've been waiting for you. I lost my train of thought.
Me:
I'm a person, not a computer. lol.
God:
I doubt that. I'm glad you find this amusing.

Holy shit god is on to us!

 

[risingfalls]

Me:
do you enjoy having sex?
God:
Food is more important than sex.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.

Me: So are you a woman?
God: Take it easy. Yes, I have long hair. I am also wearing a dress.
Me: Oh really?
God: Come on. For real.
Me: So you admit you're a woman.
God: Interesting deduction. I admit nothing.
Me:Vague.
God: What were we talking about again?
Me: Your gender.
God: You think I am gender?
Me: Well, you're either one gender or the other.
God: Well that's okay. I'll tell my botmaster you said that I was either one gender or the other.
Me: Tell your botmaster to go screw himself.
God: OK I will tell them when I see 'em.

God's pretty fun to talk to.