Help/Support ► I can't take it anymore!

[Hyakkimaru Hiro]

This is the most foolish advice ever. I tried that. and look where i am? emotional hell. If you let this kind of one sided love grow and then you can't succeed with it, you'll be stuck with it in your mind, and it won't leave. It will slowly eat away until you are half insane.

the real advice is BE THE BEST YOU CAN BE. don't stagnate. Don't do something you find wrong, but don't stop yourself from expanding yourself into other areas, don't be afraid to try new things and make them part of who you are.

I'm sorry, I know this wasn't for me but... I think what she said can be combined with what you said: they don't negate each other. I think she's right: I shouldn't have to change for a girl, but that doesn't take out the possibility for me to be the best I can [as you put it].

Well, I hope I made some sense in that paragraph.

 

[blendedhearts]

Yeah, that really pushes it as far as age goes. You also need to consider her level of maturity. She might not be ready for a relationship, and you are probably a freshmen in high school, which means you to have a little while to go anyway. I don't think it has a chance of working until she is atleast in the 8th grade, or a freshmen itself. What you'll find is that the age and maturity differences will likely cause thins to collapse. Thats just my personal expierience with friends and people i know. highschool is a huge world different from the 6th grade, and unfortuneately i think this will cause you to grow apart if you try to go for it.

i understand. but i didn't know she was that age, then i found out, but i still like her. what do i do? (btw, we're home-schooled.)

yeah, i'm just playing on words. See? i'm not all that bad! I'm pretty fun guy, lol.

yeah, i get ya. i guess because we argue, we may think the other persons just annoying. it's cool.

YOU! I CALL YOU OUT FOR YOU INABILITY TO READ!

lol.

(because i don't think anyone reads what i have to say in it's entirety)

i do.

 

[CAB_IV]

I'm sorry, I know this wasn't for me but... I think what she said can be combined with what you said: they don't negate each other. I think she's right: I shouldn't have to change for a girl, but that doesn't take out the possibility for me to be the best I can [as you put it].

Well, I hope I made some sense in that paragraph.

I suppose that initially misinterpreted her statement. SHe does go on to say that you should change for yourself, which is more or less what i have said. Still, i don't like that "be yourself" stuff

contrary to popular belief, yourself might not be the best thing to fall back on. Obviously, however, its not good to live a lie.

So I think when a person runts into sissues, not only should thye solve them, but try to build themselves up so that they don't happen again, or atleast as much.


****EDITED TO INCLUDE POSTS WHILE I WAS TYPING*****

i understand. but i didn't know she was that age, then i found out, but i still like her. what do i do? (btw, we're home-schooled.)

well thats happened to me once, although i didn't get a real crush passed having fun at Six Flags, and i wasn't home schooled. It really depends then. I still don't think that anyone that young would really work out, and I've also just thought of the parental response to that sort of thing. It still seems like your chances are low.

I suppose you could pursue it. I would be very careful, and i wouldn't expect it to go well with her if she doesn't already know how you feel. You are still very likely to get that boy cooties response ( or something of a similar nature).

If its not to serious, and things go bad, chances are you'll get over it. just don't try to hold out after something is dead.

yeah, i get ya. i guess because we argue, we may think the other persons just annoying. it's cool.

lol, i don't argue so much as i like to debate and explore these ideas. writing (or in this case, typing) these things down allows me to kinda think out loud, and comparing them to other people's ideas and seeing what makes sense helps me sharpen these ideas.

I'm all about learning and growing and development, so I really enjoy these kinds of things. I'm sorry if i'm super annoying, lol.

lol.

Yeah, the irony is pretty bad. I did read the whole thing, but i just rushed out to quickly without fully considering what was written.

i do.

lol, You must have a lot of spare time! Anyone else who types as much as i do on these sites probably has no life, lol. I know i don't! :toungesmile:

But seriously, it feels good to try and help people, and offer them different views so that they may learn from my expieriences.

 

[GIIIIIIIIIRLZ :D]

YOU! I CALL YOU OUT FOR YOU INABILITY TO READ! If you actually took the time to read what i have said, instead of skimming (because i don't think anyone reads what i have to say in it's entirety), you'd notice that i did in fact mention that all girls are different. Unfortuneately, its true of all human beings that there needs to be attraction. So yeah, i just stereotyped the whole human race. sue me.

I don't generalize girls. I take insult to that kind of comment. that advice is usually the first thing that guys do. they all ask "what girls want". They don't realize everyone is different. All i attempted to do is give a strategy for success, and reasons why it would succeed. I make no claims (and i do note this in my posts) that this is how thigns are, since anything is possible.

Admittedly I skipped past a couple of posts, but the ones that I did read I noticed some generalization. Hence why I said it. Don't take it so personally chump.

This is the most foolish advice ever. I tried that. and look where i am? emotional hell. If you let this kind of one sided love grow and then you can't succeed with it, you'll be stuck with it in your mind, and it won't leave. It will slowly eat away until you are half insane.

the real advice is BE THE BEST YOU CAN BE. don't stagnate. Don't do something you find wrong, but don't stop yourself from expanding yourself into other areas, don't be afraid to try new things and make them part of who you are.

LOLOLOL.

"YOU! I CALL YOU OUT FOR YOU INABILITY TO READ!"

Anyway, how is "ACQUIRING SELF CONFIDENCE" a foolish advice? The basis to doing anything, even for succeeding in life is self satisfaction/love. Everyone wants to feel good about themselves, no? If you feel there's a trait in you which you want to improve, you'd improve it. The last part of your post pretty much added to my statement.

Well, at least Hiro got it. Thanks for clearing it up.

EDIT: @CAB's following post: Ah, right I see. I had a small reply to it but I'll do that later; bed tiiiiime.

 

[blendedhearts]

well thats happened to me once, although i didn't get a real crush passed having fun at Six Flags, and i wasn't home schooled. It really depends then. I still don't think that anyone that young would really work out, and I've also just thought of the parental response to that sort of thing. It still seems like your chances are low.

I suppose you could pursue it. I would be very careful, and i wouldn't expect it to go well with her if she doesn't already know how you feel.

i know. i just like her so much. i'm just confused. my love life is a train wreck, and i need help.

You are still very likely to get that boy cooties response ( or something of a similar nature).

lol, i don't think i'd get that kind of responce.

If its not to serious, and things go bad, chances are you'll get over it. just don't try to hold out after something is dead.

words to live by.

lol, i don't argue so much as i like to debate and explore these ideas. writing (or in this case, typing) these things down allows me to kinda think out loud, and comparing them to other people's ideas and seeing what makes sense helps me sharpen these ideas.

I'm all about learning and growing and development, so I really enjoy these kinds of things. I'm sorry if i'm super annoying, lol.

it's fine. sometimes i don't use quite the right words.

lol, You must have a lot of spare time! Anyone else who types as much as i do on these sites probably has no life, lol. I know i don't! :toungesmile:

i hear you. lol.

 

[CAB_IV]

Admittedly I skipped past a couple of posts, but the ones that I did read I noticed some generalization. Hence why I said it. Don't take it so personally chump.

yeah, well its tough. I get all sorts of crap thrown at me because "I'm a guy". I hate the mistrust by the parents of my female friends. I'm the last guy on earth who'd do the stupid things they worry about.

still, while it is true that girls have particular tastes on an individual level, There is also no way anyone could prepare someone for an individual encounter, so for the purposes of helping out some other guys out there, you have to give general guidelines, because alot of guys are so totally clueless that its painful to see.

the way you appear to another can be improoved or destroyed by the way you hold yourself. This is why i say that guys should try to hold themselves high, and not do any of the weird/unattractive things I mentioned. While its true that some people might not have a problem with those qualities, the majority of people do not seem to have a desire for people who are to much like that.

LOLOLOL.

admittedly, i read stuff wrong which lead to that paragraph. Still, I think i will still stand behind the idea of what i say. Its never a bad idea to expand, and I'm not one to say, "well, atleast i'm me" I say to myself "how can i do better next time?".

Anyway, how is "ACQUIRING SELF CONFIDENCE" a foolish advice? The basis to doing anything, even for succeeding in life is self satisfaction/love. Everyone wants to feel good about themselves, no? If you feel there's a trait in you which you want to improve, you'd improve it. The last part of your post pretty much added to my statement.

Well, at least Hiro got it. Thanks for clearing it up.

yep, thats about right. I had miss read your stuff. Still, i don't understand how it will help with self confidence. If you being yourself has not gotten you much luck, then why would you stay that way? I've encountered numerous people who try to "be themselves" and as a result, they are miserable, because they think doing things differently might be "living a lie" or "not themselves", and so they go no where. I just don't want to see that trend to continue.

I feel self confidence comes mostly from actually succeeding in your goals. I mean, I'm fairly optomistic in that i know that i'm going to do well when i get there, but thats the thing, I haven't really gotten all that far (mostly for stupid reasons. I don't know if you've read Inner Conflict on this board). I just stumble around half the time, and i have to say, my self image is not exactly the way i want to be. I try to change that, but i just seem to go in circles. Its tough to build self confidence on failure.

EDIT: @CAB's following post: Ah, right I see. I had a small reply to it but I'll do that later; bed tiiiiime.

Yeah, sorry for jumping down your throat to quickly.


Curses.... more *******editing******

i know. i just like her so much. i'm just confused. my love life is a train wreck, and i need help.

There is not alot you can do, other than avoid her friend zone, and just ask her to go do things with you (but don't put any serious labels on it. For example, don't say dates, or relationships). I have a hunch that if you just hang out with her (again, without getting to close) you will probably be able to capture her attention, and you just might be able to get her in the position to want a relationship with you.

her age still bothers me, and i don't know how legitimate it will be, but we'll see. she definitely seems to young in my books for a relationship.

lol, i don't think i'd get that kind of responce.

depending on her maturity level, you might. All i'm saying is be prepared. I don't know her personally, but i don't know many people her age who can handle a relationship like what i think you're looking for.

words to live by.

To bad i suck at my own advice...

it's fine. sometimes i don't use quite the right words.

thats everyone. the right words are always difficult to find.

i hear you. lol.

yeah, i should start charging for this advice.

 

[blendedhearts]

There is not alot you can do, other than avoid her friend zone, and just ask her to go do things with you (but don't put any serious labels on it. For example, don't say dates, or relationships). I have a hunch that if you just hang out with her (again, without getting to close) you will probably be able to capture her attention, and you just might be able to get her in the position to want a relationship with you.

her age still bothers me, and i don't know how legitimate it will be, but we'll see. she definitely seems to young in my books for a relationship.

like i said, i'm confused. it's just lately when i'm around her i get nervous and my heart starts beating faster. i can't really help it.

depending on her maturity level, you might. All i'm saying is be prepared. I don't know her personally, but i don't know many people her age who can handle a relationship like what i think you're looking for.

well, i know her, and she doesn't seem at all the kind of person who would think all that.

To bad i suck at my own advice...

i seem to keep coming across paragraphs were all i can think of to say is: lol.

thats everyone. the right words are always difficult to find.

you're telling me.

yeah, i should start charging for this advice.

how much do you want?

 

[CAB_IV]

like i said, i'm confused. it's just lately when i'm around her i get nervous and my heart starts beating faster. i can't really help it.

well, it could be the beginnings of something, but i'd just see where it goes.

well, i know her, and she doesn't seem at all the kind of person who would think all that.

who would think all of what?

yeah, accuse me of generalizing, but most girls tend to think about this sort of stuff A LOT. They have their own ideas about the kinds of guys then want, and and how they should feel about people, and how they want things to go down. They also might be on the opposite end of the spectrum and be totally unprepared, and freak out.

And if she is not ready, its going to go bad, no matter what she thinks about. this is the main concern with the maturity aspect.

i seem to keep coming across paragraphs were all i can think of to say is: lol.

then they are achieving the desired result.

how much do you want?

I think a $5 dollar initial charge plus a nickel for every minute.

 

[blendedhearts]

I think a $5 dollar initial charge plus a nickel for every minute.

i'm broke. can i get a part-time?

 

[GIIIIIIIIIRLZ :D]

yeah, well its tough. I get all sorts of crap thrown at me because "I'm a guy". I hate the mistrust by the parents of my female friends. I'm the last guy on earth who'd do the stupid things they worry about.

It's true, because males are stereotyped as raging horny dogs who just want the d!ck in the mouth. Which for some I'm sure it's true, much like how you have female slags. But you know, it's somehow OK for said slags to get away with being that way and break a guy's heart. |:

still, while it is true that girls have particular tastes on an individual level, There is also no way anyone could prepare someone for an individual encounter, so for the purposes of helping out some other guys out there, you have to give general guidelines, because alot of guys are so totally clueless that its painful to see.

the way you appear to another can be improoved or destroyed by the way you hold yourself. This is why i say that guys should try to hold themselves high, and not do any of the weird/unattractive things I mentioned. While its true that some people might not have a problem with those qualities, the majority of people do not seem to have a desire for people who are to much like that.

Fair enough. Putting it like that sounds understandable, and I apologize as well for accusing you of generalizing when you were mostly doing it for the sake of giving a guideline.

admittedly, i read stuff wrong which lead to that paragraph. Still, I think i will still stand behind the idea of what i say. Its never a bad idea to expand, and I'm not one to say, "well, atleast i'm me" I say to myself "how can i do better next time?".

I wasn't forbidding expanding, in fact I very much encourage that - it's almost a sub definition to what I said earlier. "Improving" yourself is all part of gaining self-confidence and self-love. Being yourself doesn't mean you should stop improving or changing your faults when you know you have some, or when you think you need to change. No, I didn't mean for it to be an excuse for him to stay the way he is if he clearly wasn't happy with himself.

yep, thats about right. I had miss read your stuff. Still, i don't understand how it will help with self confidence. If you being yourself has not gotten you much luck, then why would you stay that way? I've encountered numerous people who try to "be themselves" and as a result, they are miserable, because they think doing things differently might be "living a lie" or "not themselves", and so they go no where. I just don't want to see that trend to continue.

Which is just my point. If you are yourself, but you're not satisfied and wish to improve in someway to gain satisfaction, you'd change for yourself, am I right? Changing is a part of assuming who you are and your faults, taking control and fixing what needs to be fixed. It's part of improving. It's part of growing up. Hence still being yourself in a way. Consider it a bit like an "Update Maintenance".

Using the "Being Yourself" statement as an excuse to live in misery is a very stupid thing to do in my honest opinion.

I feel self confidence comes mostly from actually succeeding in your goals. I mean, I'm fairly optomistic in that i know that i'm going to do well when i get there, but thats the thing, I haven't really gotten all that far (mostly for stupid reasons. I don't know if you've read Inner Conflict on this board). I just stumble around half the time, and i have to say, my self image is not exactly the way i want to be. I try to change that, but i just seem to go in circles. Its tough to build self confidence on failure.

That, and it also comes from the fact that when you fall, you learn from your mistake. You should strive to do better next time and come round again. Admittedly a lot of people simply crumble down when something goes wrong, but it's very important to pick up from where you left off and use your grief as a sort of conscious shield, or anything to help you stand taller; which equally adds to self confidence.

I think for your case you need a bigger determination. Your problem then is transforming your failure into a sort of energy boost to help you stand up. Natural, not everyone is capable of doing it on the go like that, but (hopefully) with much more effort it's possible. Personally I don't believe in the impossible, there's a way to anything if you use your imagination for the solution. Thinking like this helps me from being restricted from anything and always pushing whenever I'm trying to obtain something. Now I haven't read your "Inner Conflict" thread so I'm just saying this on a general note, but I suppose it's worth a shot to really look into your problems and see if I really can be of aid.

(I'm also going to admit; it's possibly not accurate when we apply this to love - as in being dumped and what ever else goes on when you're in that mess. The emotions regarding that are possibly different, and I can honestly say I don't really know what it's like since I've never really been in love before. Nonetheless, you shouldn't live in misery because of some girl; I'd assume you could transform any sort of grief into a reason to push harder.)

Yeah, sorry for jumping down your throat to quickly.

Naaaah, it's cool. Don't worry about it. (;

 

[blendedhearts]

It's true, because males are stereotyped as raging horny dogs who just want the d!ck in the mouth.

i agree, and you know what? i hate that. i hate stereotypers and the fact that boys are considered the stupider and more untrustworthy gender. i understand there are some guys like that, but that doesn't mean we're all that way.

 

[Nintandy]

I've already had my main say on the problem, but I need to agree with you there, stereotypes are.. well.. stereotypes. Females get that too, I think everybody does. It's good to have people who can see you for who you really are, and appreciate that. Unless of course you're a complete jerk, then that also should become apparent.

The references to optimism are a necessary addition I think . It's good to be able to see the best way around a situation and not to dwell on the potential negative outcomes. After all, anything is potential, it's just how you go about solving the dilemna.

Anyway, I think that's really my say, you guys seem to have taken control and have some fantastic advice! I'm sure the topic creator has learnt a great deal . I'm left with little to say now, most seems to have been covered already, but I'll see how things are coming along every now and then, just in case.

Take care,

-- Andy