Help/Support ► Guys

[Byakuya]

If I meet a guy that I like, I want to know if he’s the cheater or playa type before I start a relationship with him. What are the signs?

I don't know about any signs, but being friends with your man first is probably the best way to go. Get to know them, make a bond that isn't melded together by lust and hope.

If they're not willing to be there for you as a friend, there's not really any purpose for going into a stronger relationship, because they're just going to up and leave you again.

 

[Gildragon]

Well if you are not against sex before marraige than a guy may intereperet that as "Hey I can use her"
If you are that should be clear real soon. You should be hard to get for sex especially if yo udon't want to be used. If your guy wants it that bad with you he will wait and keep trying. If he just wants to get laid and doesn't actually care about you he will leave and look for the next girl he thinks is easy. A guy is not really most of the time going to tell you his ideas on sex unless he has it alot and brags or unless you are dating him and the two of you talk.

Now being a guy in the area I am in I hae seen the use for sex from both genders, guys using girls, and girls using guys. That being said I make sure of a few things before I choose someone as criteria.

She has to:
Have a talent
Not be vain (concerned with her own looks)
Have a small group of very close friends (If they are good and close to their existing friends the better a chance that person will be good to me)
Does not compromise their belief system.
Does not have extreme self esteem (being low)
cannot be arrogant
ETC.

You would do well to develop your own list of requirements for a guy. if he doesn't match up with one. Chances are even if he doesn't use you it won't last anyways

 

[Dealer_Camel]

Yet. Just wait .

All right, I'll wait. (Waits, taps foot, plays solitaire...)

Well if you are not against sex before marraige than a guy may intereperet that as "Hey I can use her"
If you are that should be clear real soon. You should be hard to get for sex especially if yo udon't want to be used. If your guy wants it that bad with you he will wait and keep trying. If he just wants to get laid and doesn't actually care about you he will leave and look for the next girl he thinks is easy. A guy is not really most of the time going to tell you his ideas on sex unless he has it alot and brags or unless you are dating him and the two of you talk.

Now being a guy in the area I am in I hae seen the use for sex from both genders, guys using girls, and girls using guys. That being said I make sure of a few things before I choose someone as criteria.

She has to:
Have a talent
Not be vain (concerned with her own looks)
Have a small group of very close friends (If they are good and close to their existing friends the better a chance that person will be good to me)
Does not compromise their belief system.
Does not have extreme self esteem (being low)
cannot be arrogant
ETC.

You would do well to develop your own list of requirements for a guy. if he doesn't match up with one. Chances are even if he doesn't use you it won't last anyways.

Quoted for emphasis.

 

[Monkey]

"Serious relationships" are a joke when they involve teenagers.

I agree so much. I'm so tired of all my friends "LEIKOMGWERLYLUVEACHOTHERTHISISTRUELOVEHEWILLNEVERLEAVEME" and they are like 13.

 

[Joy]

Every day I hear about one of my female classmates or friends being played or just used for sex by a male. Not too long ago I heard about this guy who became friends with this girl for three weeks but he hasn't spoken a word to her since they've had sex. He ignores her and treats her like crap now. Sure, I know there are guys out there who are not like that, but I know very few of them. Because of this, I believe that there’s a 60-70% chance that if I were to enter a relationship with a male, he’d cheat on me. Even the guys that everyone thinks are sweet and innocent cheat on their girlfriends.

If I meet a guy that I like, I want to know if he’s the cheater or playa type before I start a relationship with him. What are the signs?

How will I know if a guy is just jumping into a relationship with me just to have sex? He could just buy me stuff, and tell me what I want to hear, and do stuff a regular boyfriend does to hide it.

Don't have sex with him for a while. Honestly, if he breaks up with you, you were right.

If you can't deal with it and be like "omg, ii went out with a cheater", then don't go out with anyone.

Sometimes it's better to make mistakes.

 

[Stavvy]

Well if you are not against sex before marraige than a guy may intereperet that as "Hey I can use her"
If you are that should be clear real soon. You should be hard to get for sex especially if yo udon't want to be used. If your guy wants it that bad with you he will wait and keep trying. If he just wants to get laid and doesn't actually care about you he will leave and look for the next girl he thinks is easy. A guy is not really most of the time going to tell you his ideas on sex unless he has it alot and brags or unless you are dating him and the two of you talk.

Now being a guy in the area I am in I hae seen the use for sex from both genders, guys using girls, and girls using guys. That being said I make sure of a few things before I choose someone as criteria.

She has to:
Have a talent
Not be vain (concerned with her own looks)
Have a small group of very close friends (If they are good and close to their existing friends the better a chance that person will be good to me)
Does not compromise their belief system.
Does not have extreme self esteem (being low)
cannot be arrogant
ETC.

You would do well to develop your own list of requirements for a guy. if he doesn't match up with one. Chances are even if he doesn't use you it won't last anyways

Despite the fact that I'm a guy, I'd fit all those. . .except the self-esteem (REALLY low). . .

But you're right.

 

[Gildragon]

I try to stand up to that as well for the most part. the only thing I have a problem with really is self esteem. sometimes I will hate myself, but sometimes I will be the most arrogant person you know. but I stay at a good place 80% of the time

 

[Stavvy]

Nope, I just hate myself most of the time. . .

 

[Eikre]

Being a guy, and being in one of these relationships, I must say that teenage relationships beyond friendship fail.

And, truth be told, the only reason I'm in said relationship is because she asked me out, after inhibiting a crush on me for a year. I couldn't really say no.

But I personally miss the freedom of being able to give out random hugs to my friends, and have no one get jealous or mad. I miss the freedom of being able to go to parties and having a good time because I'm tied down.

I thought once, and only once, of having sex with her. And I regret it still, honestly. I love her as much as my teenage mind can love another teenage mind, but I'd much more rather we were just friends, and if I screwup (bound to happen =/), bye bye friendship. If I didn't go out with her, who knows what the friendship on it's own would have been like.

My diagnosis: If you have any doubts, say no. Any doubts at all. Any will do. Unless you know he's...uh...what's the term gals use...Mr. Right, I'd say "Hell no" in an instant. I learned my lesson =/

 

[Johnny Stooge]

Quoted completely not for truth, but because to clear the record, I'm NOT a type of guy who just wants to have fun. Off topic I know, but...

You missed part of my point. Read this:

Being a guy, and being in one of these relationships, I must say that teenage relationships beyond friendship fail.

And, truth be told, the only reason I'm in said relationship is because she asked me out, after inhibiting a crush on me for a year. I couldn't really say no.

But I personally miss the freedom of being able to give out random hugs to my friends, and have no one get jealous or mad. I miss the freedom of being able to go to parties and having a good time because I'm tied down.

I thought once, and only once, of having sex with her. And I regret it still, honestly. I love her as much ass my teenage mind can love another teenage mind, but I'd much more rather we were just friends, and if I screwup (bound to happen =/), bye bye friendship. If I didn't go out with her, who knows what the friendship on it's own would have been like.

My diagnosis: If you have any doubts, say no. Any doubts at all. Any will do. Unless you know he's...uh...what's the term gals use...Mr. Right, I'd say "Hell no" in an instant. I learned my lesson =/

I agree so much. I'm so tired of all my friends "LEIKOMGWERLYLUVEACHOTHERTHISISTRUELOVEHEWILLNEVERLEAVEME" and they are like 13.

It gets worse. I recently had to bear witness to my friend in a relationship with an extremely manipulative bitch. She'd say all kinds of things like how they "were meant for each other" and that "there will be nobody else she feels like this for" and worst of all, how they "made love, and not just sex."
But guess what. They're broken up now.

 

[Stavvy]

A perfect example of MOST relationships.

 

[kingdomfighter5]

the best boy is the one who is shy cause he doesnt know how to tell you he likes you but once he gets the courage its normally to late those kind of guys are rare i would know im one of them. lol ok so i wouldint say thats true but it is true that most nice guys dont have girlfriends and most wont because they have either no courage or they are to nice and passive

 

[Nojerom]

Ander speaks the truth.

The majority of my friends are guys. The majority of my guy-friends just so happen to have most of the same character: they are all shy, or care too much about the girl's feelings for another to do anything about himself. Something random does eventually happen, and thus: girlfriend. But that is rare too....

*is confused*

Guys can be hard to figure sometimes.. or maybe that's just me.

 

[Stavvy]

Apparently it's just you, I'd say that girls are harder to figure out. . .and I'm sure I'm not the only one. . .

I'm sure shy guys are great. . .too bad I'm one of em. . .Nothing really special has happened ever. . .so I guess I'm just unlucky. . .

 

[Nojerom]

Welcome to my life, Stavros.

I think guys can be hard to figure sometimes. For.. well, a few reasons. Most of my guy-friends confuse me when they tell me what's going on with this girl and how he feels and what he thinks he should do... and whatnot. I have some other reasons.. but I don't think I'll say anything about that.

But girls are harder to figure... I don't get myself, either..

 

[Eikre]

Apparently it's just you, I'd say that members of the opposite sex are harder to figure out....

fix'd.

I totally remember when my best friend (a girl) tried to teach me how to draw anime, but she could never draw guys, and I could never draw girls, without glaring anatomy problems (We were nubs, but that's besides the point). So I'm guessing if we don't get it physically on the outside, bye bye understanding the insides...


I meant that in mind and personality. I'm pretty sure people understand a lung in others' bodies just as well as their own.