Poetry ► A Series of Poems (7: Friendship is a One-way street)



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SoulXaldin

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It hurts
Feel like my heart's gonna burst
Every time I look around all I hear
Is the melting pot of swirling sounds

The people around me
Don't
acknowledge me
Mistake me for a stranger
One step to close to the hanger

I can't say I'm sad
Just disappointed
We get a bad rep
No chances

They don't dare bat an eye
But I'm a person too
Any my soul
Is reduced to a pale blue

Why must our peers neglect us so?
Why must we fulfill expectations that are so hard to achieve?
Why must society expect the best
from those who aren't accustomed to it in the first place?
 

SorasTwilight

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Hello!

While reading this poem, I can definitely see where the speaker is at a point in their lives where expectations are high and that peer pressure is troublesome. I also feel like this piece would really be a good "coming of age" poem as elements of learning are implied. The imagery of a "pale blue" for the soul and that the noises around the speaker is like "a melting pot", that all the loud sounds really blend in at this point for them.

Just a personal preference, but when I see a poem that is about confusion and things that blend together, I think the format could go in two directions. One: Have the poem be a run on sentence where the impact to the reader would stand out a little more as they can see "wow, yes! these thoughts of the speaker's must be chaotic" (in a good sense for this matter). Two: Have the poem not rhyme at all. I myself find this one difficult as it is hard NOT to rhyme, but a friend of mine who is a published poet advise me that poems that have no rhyme scheme to them make the biggest impact.

Again, the poem overall is powerful as I can feel it would be a good coming of age story. Nice :)
 

KingdomKey

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I remember hearing once that humans are a social creature. They don't desire to be alone. I think it's natural instinct to want to be acknowledge or noticed by others. And I know it's hard for many to make that first step in making a friendship or a relationship happen. There's always the fear of rejection. Or perhaps the disappointment of not being accepted into ones friend group as well. This could be looked at in a number of ways, but I can sympathize about how much it sucks to not be enough in someone's eyes. Furthermore, sometimes I think as human beings we put too much stock in other peoples expectations. Society is something that helps make it worse. Yes, it's great to achieve goals and to be the best we can be, but it doesn't always happen all at once. And sometimes our best isn't the same as someone else's best. I've learned over the years that doing the best you personally can is a healthier outlook instead of comparing yourself to others. And do what makes you happy.
 
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