A Collection of Little Nothings



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Nyangoro

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I just kind of wanted a place to post any random thoughts that felt like putting to paper. They're short and insubstantial, but I wanted to post them, because I thought it would be a good exercise for me. Or something. I don't know. They will be about many different things. Whatever happens to enter my head. As is often the case with nothing, these will have no titles.

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“Die fighting for the cause, or your soul will see no end to suffering in the afterlife.”

These words swirled in his head, alongside an event on repeat. A girl on a dirty cot, her breaths alternated with bouts of hacking and wheezing. Shivering from a blend of fever and terror, sobbing through pressure threatening to split her head, she clutched her tattered shirt caked in mud, grime, and all other unpleasantness. The glint of hope in her small eye faded, growing weaker in stride with her heartbeat until both could no longer be found.

Atop a patch of dirt on the outskirts of town, the ten-year-old boy with thoughts like an adult sat, rifle squeezed between his knees and leaning against his shoulder. He draped his arms over a gun he struggled to carry, his eyes fixed on the haphazard pile of rocks, which served to mark an otherwise unmarked grave, forgotten by most moments after it was dug.

The sun beating down on his back, the metal of the gun cooling his cheek, tears slipped from his eyes. The boy didn't cry over the agony she experienced. He didn't cry over the suffering her soul must now be subjected to. He didn't cry over over the heartbreak he felt at her passing. He didn't cry over the world he was born into.

He cried, because he didn't have the will to pull the trigger and join her.
 

Noel

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I enjoyed taking a gander on your little tidbit. The way you wrote sort uve' made me forget that I was just reading; instead I could instantly picture everything going on.

The only gripe I could have, is how unsimple(?) the first line of speech is. There are some words in it that honestly don't need to be there. More is less I suppose? That's just me though.
 

KingdomKey

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This was a really deep tidbit. I felt like my heart broke in two for, the boy having to watch her die, and not know what to do with his rifle. I love the amount of details you poured into this story, and felt satisfied with such a heart wrenching ending. I hope to see more tidbits, whenever something comes to mind, Nyangoro.

The glint of hope in her small eye faded, growing weaker in stride with her heartbeat until both could no longer be found.
^ I do like your choice of words, don't get me wrong. I was just wondering, why you didn't use "heard" for her heartbeat? Just something I wanted to ask is all. C:
 

Nyangoro

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Thanks for the feedback, guys. Always love the support :)

The only gripe I could have, is how unsimple(?) the first line of speech is. There are some words in it that honestly don't need to be there. More is less I suppose? That's just me though.
I'm looking at the line and I'm not quite sure how to effectively shorten it (probably cause I'm not actually that good a writer, but whatever). Any suggestions?

I do like your choice of words, don't get me wrong. I was just wondering, why you didn't use "heard" for her heartbeat? Just something I wanted to ask is all. C:
I used "found" because I connected her heartbeat to the glint in her eye. One is aural, but the other is visual. Had I used "heard," the glint side of the imagery wouldn't have made sense, so I had to use a more neutral word. I chose "found" because it was the first thing that popped into my head, but there is probably a better option.

And here's another random thing. This one's less depressing :p

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A couple of guys, friends and college juniors, sat down in the student union to eat lunch before scurrying off to their next class. Each brought with them a bag of KFC, the contents struggling to eat its way out. Jeff, the older of the two, started up a conversation.

“So I was talking to my girlfriend yesterday, right?” he began, biscuit and honey packet in hand. “Tried inviting her to go to the gym with me today.”

Sam nibbled on his fries before he answered. “How'd that go for you?”

“Not as good as I'd hoped.”

He shook his head. “And you expected something else?”

Jeff crumpled the now empty honey packet and tossed it into the bag. “It's not like I was only asking her to go! I'm going too! I just thought we might try to look our best for each other. Does that really make me such a horrible person?”

Sam took out his tender roast sandwich, while he listened to Jeff rant on. Every couple seconds, he would give a little nod of the head to let his friend know he was paying attention.

“Besides, she asked me to start working out in the first place! But did I get all offended? No! In fact, I thought it was a good idea! You know, like maybe I should work out some.” He chomped into the chicken wrap he opened in the meanwhile before continuing. “It's shit like that that makes me think it'd be cool if I was gay like you and Danny. See, us guys? We don't get all offended by it.”

Sam gave him another nod.

“Like, if Danny came up to you one day and was all, 'Hey, Sam, you should come work out with me sometime,' how would you respond?”

Sam paused as he was about to take another bite of his sandwich. He eyed Jeff and answered, “What are you trying to say?”

Jeff looked up from his chicken wrap, a little confused. “I wasn't trying to say anything. Just asking a question.”

“I know what you were asking. What I'm asking is why Danny's the one asking me to go to the gym. Why aren't I the one asking him to go?” His eyes narrowed as he spoke, and his fingers composed a percussion number on the table.

Raising his hands in protest, Jeff answered, “No, man. It's just a hypothetical. It doesn't matter who asks who to go to the gym.”

“Don't tell me what doesn't matter!” Sam pointed at him, forgetting that his hand had a sandwich in it.

Jeff's gestures grew more wild, as if he were guiding the conversation back to the runway. “Look, I was just trying say that guys don't get upset at that sort of stuff.”

“Don't change the subject!”

“What change? This was my original subject!”

Sam slammed the sandwich back into the box it came in and shoved that into the bag. “You know what, I'm not hungry anymore. I need to get to class.” He crushed the bag and threw it into the garbage receptacle nearby.

Still not sure what just happened, Jeff smashed down the rest of his chicken wrap and left in pursuit. “Hey, wait! What are you so mad about?”
 

Roxie1563

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This was interesting and I think it got me to chuckle a bit, even if it wasn't the intention to do so.

I wonder if Sam is actually gay and he took offend to what Jeff said when Jeff doesn't know the fact, right? Just something I picked up on.
 

KingdomKey

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Perhaps because, Sam feels like he's the girl in the relationship with Danny; thus leaving him offended. It'd make the most sense to me. On the other hand, I loved how this story played out, and you portrayed each character splendidly. I think Jeff has a point about "Looking best for each other." Rather than it being one sided, when it comes to looking good for your significant other. Its a tough subject for couples out there, and not an easy thing to discuss.

And thank you for, explaining why, you chose 'found', Nyangoro. C:
 
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