Your 'enemy within'' and how you deal with it



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The Dead Skin

vincent valentine shill
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Have you ever had legitimately evil thoughts at some point in your lifetime, like murdering someone you're fed up with? And not in a petty-3-year-old way, but in an actual morally-disturbed-adult way.

I don't want to encourage evil thoughts or anything like that - I'm long past that phase. But at the end of the day, I only made this thread to have people share their experiences with enemies within. Starting with me:

It all started in 2011. I was embittered by the shit school I was enrolled in - noisy students, incompetent teachers, money-grubbing staff. And then came 2012.

I barely felt the will to keep studying, instead wanting to beat up my classmates for diddlying around so much. I got low grades, forcing me into a kind of "recovery" test (in BR, you get tests to better your low grades. that's how it works)

I didn't even study because I hated school that much. Then my dad threw a fit about it and my mom's issues with his Freemasonry membership.

That was when my enemy within was born.

I decided I was going to stab my dad in his sleep and do the same to my classmates at the day of the test. But one thing I didn't count on was that I had an appointment with my psychologist (which I had been going to since April, I believe).

We had a chat about what I wanted to do. Normally because she's a psychologist she would've kept quiet about it, but because it was a risky situation, she told my mom about it. She cried and the psychologist recommended a psychiatrist, who I see sporadically.

And I never went to school again after that. But I'm taking music and Japanese courses.

To this day, awful thoughts related to things I don't like pop up occasionally, and I constantly try to fight them back.

What about you, people of KHI?
 

Taylor

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um no that's kind of fucked up, man.

i mean no disrespect, but those kinds of thoughts are incredibly dangerous not just to others, but to yourself as well. i'm sorry you have to deal with bullshit on the daily, but those kinds of thoughts are just way too extreme. you should never want to legitimately kill someone, no matter how hard they push you. if you really believe that you're capable of murdering someone else, that's a pretty serious issue. keep on fighting those negative thoughts, dude. i wish you only the best in the future because it sounds like you've gone through some pretty serious shit.
 

Taochan

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You need to find outlets for your anger and frustration that won't lead you to those kind of thoughts.
 

Silh

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I really tend to do as I please. It's admirable in a way, but it can get pretty bad sometimes. The few friends I have inspire the best in me though; they keep me in check.

song of the year btw
 
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