Hello there! This poem was such a lovely read, I thought I'd let you know. I love the story, the themes and the way it is written. Shall we get on to specifics?
Water.
It flows deeply
Heavily
Tears join to make the
Oceans.
The first stanza really was the hook for me; had it not been so well written, I would have most likely swept the rest of the poem aside. I especially love the impact created by the end-line period after 'Water'. It really draws emphasis to this central symbol you refer to time and time again in the poem, and I like the way you have done it. I also think that the diction you use here -- 'flows', 'tears' and 'Oceans' -- does wonders with evoking images of water in the reader's mind. Great job!
How you could improve the clarity of the stanza is by adding punctuation. I definitely think 'Heavily' is in desperate need of a period, or a semicolon, at the least, and 'deeply' could use a coma after it.
No one senses our
Words.
No one notices we're here
Drowning
Because you could not save us.
The second stanza introduces the persona, which I believe is a good thing to do early on in the poem. I like the emphasis you place on "Words" and "Drowning" by making them single word lines. Repetition of 'No one' in subsequent sentences ties the two ideas together -- that not sensing the words is somehow related to the drowning.
Our tongues have been
Cut off roughly.
You say you'll dance with them
But we only bleed.
In this stanza, you bring in the image of cut tongues, which ties in with the un-sensed words from the previous stanza. I like how you continue the accusing tone from the second stanza in this stanza by using the second person. I also notice a kind of pattern in the lines -- they alternate in the images presented: first pleasant, then not. The image of blood here is brilliant, and the contrast between it and the dancing antagonist also captures the reader's attention.
Once you die
We laugh.
Happiness escapes us.
But the Water is still tears.
Oh my, the tone has suddenly changed in this stanza indeed. The protagonist, who you portrayed as a victim in the past two stanzas, now takes pleasure in the death of the antagonist. I think this may be a breakaway from the character and may throw readers off. Also, I believe you could use a coma after 'die'.
That said, there are still elements in this stanza that I really enjoyed. The very last line was my utmost favorite in the poem -- it ties in to the concepts introduced in the first stanza, and gives the poem a sense of poignant sadness.
We found him
The Hero in every tale
The luck-child.
Yet here we wait
Waiting for someone to come again
Only to be killed form our under spoken words
If only you realized my love for you.
I liked the penultimate stanza of the poem, but I feel the final stanza / line is out of place. The poem did not read as a love poem in the slightest, and the ending line really throws me off. I suppose it could be construed as a love-hate relationship of sorts, but I doubt if that were the case, that the protagonist would be happy about the death of the antagonist. (I now question my word choice, seeing as the persona loves the character.) Also, I believe you should add comas to the first two lines above, and that in the final line of the penultimate stanza that you mean 'from' instead of 'form'!
What I really liked about the ending lines was the phrase you coined: 'under spoken words'. The unusual expression really draws attention to the underlying ideas, and makes the reader realize the significance of the title.
Overall, you do well with introducing ideas and maintaining them throughout, but I believe a touch up on punctuation would be to your best interests. The title, in my opinion, should have been something related to with water, seeing as how it is the predominant metaphor you refer to.
Your poetry is really interesting, and I hope to read more soon. Keep writing!
I'm glad someone read it and liked it. I also fixed my mistakes.