• Hello everybody! We have tons of new awards for the new year that can be requested through our Awards System thanks to Antifa Lockhart! Some are limited-time awards so go claim them before they are gone forever...

    CLICK HERE FOR AWARDS

Fanfiction ► The Great Babysitting Adventure



REGISTER TO REMOVE ADS
Status
Not open for further replies.

Gram

Banned
Joined
Oct 9, 2009
Messages
15,615
Awards
5
haha xD isa will never have children, was good chapter i saw ~
 

Gram

Banned
Joined
Oct 9, 2009
Messages
15,615
Awards
5
i dont see anything you would have to make up for but if you say so then the next one should be hilarious/cute o3o
 
Joined
Sep 19, 2011
Messages
2,239
Awards
3
Age
28
Location
In the great wide somewhere~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Edits
1. Since this is the beginning, I'd remove the "more" as no minutes have been previously established.
2. ignore this, it looked odd, but it isn't.
3. Period instead of comma, end of her sentence.
4. added the word "had"
5. Spelling fix
6. Spelling fix
7. I think you meant coffee table.
8. Sentence is really short, I'd combine it with the part above it
9. Past tense
10. Moved "happily" to improve sentence flow
11. Spelling fix Spikey looks right, but it's actually spelled spiky
12. Both instead of bother
13. Sentence reads out oddly, this may just be my opinion, consider rewording?
14. Her instead of he
15. Use italics to show emphasis of the word "that" I only changed it here, but you may consider changing all following references, depending on whether they're still emphasizing it.
16. Past tense
17. Added "a"
18. I believe this is an improvement, but you're welcome to ignore it.
19. added two words to improve flow.

'Kay, I think I fixed them all. Thanks, DM! <3
 
Joined
Sep 19, 2011
Messages
2,239
Awards
3
Age
28
Location
In the great wide somewhere~
This took a long time to finally get up... Sorry for the delay! ^^;
_______________________________________________________________________
Chapter 4

“Kairi! Kairi, come on, Isa’s gonna kill me!” Lea called as he looked through the immediate area. Such a small girl couldn’t have gotten far, right?

As he scoured the last bush in the yard, though, it was clear that, at the very least, she wasn’t there anymore. It wasn’t exactly a one-way route from there to town, however, so he had no way of know which way she decided to run.

Isa, meanwhile, had finally calmed down. He expected Lea to have some kind of results by now, but when he walked out of the house, he noticed Lea still in the yard, empty-handed. “Lea, you still haven’t gone after her?” Isa asked.

“She’s not around here,” Lea muttered, looking up from his search. “She shouldn't be that far already, though. Any ideas?”

After a second spent pretending to think over the issue, Isa said matter-of-factly, “Yes, actually.” He gestured back towards the house, specifically to the spot where Kairi’s vase had been earlier. “She might have gone to find more flowers, since the ones from that vase are destroyed. She could find those anywhere… but she’d probably find the best flowers from Aerith, if that’s what she wants.”

“Oh, yeah, Aerith!” Lea exclaimed, smiling. He straightened up and patted a few stray leaved from his clothes. “I’ll go see her, then.”

“I knew you would,” Isa said, nodding. “Just remember that you’re not going over there for anything other than Kairi, okay Casanova?” Isa smiled slyly as his friend shook his head. Isa chuckled when he noticed that Lea’s ears were almost the bright color of his hair, but it was hard to tell with how vigorously Lea was shaking his head.

“I know, sheesh!” He crossed his arms over his chest and added, “I heard she’s with Cloud, anyway.”

“Really?” Isa asked, sincerely shocked about that. “I had thought that Tifa…” he stopped himself and finally closed the door to the house. There were always rumors like that floating around anyway, right now it didn’t matter whom Cloud was dating. “Time is of the essence, just go find Kairi.”

“Oh, right.” Lea gave a quick wave before sprinting in the flower shop’s direction.

Isa idled behind, trying to think of another place to start his search. He had given his only lead to Lea, so he had little choice but to just look around and hope for the best. He’d be lying if he said he had enough faith in Lea to sit here and wait for him, after all.



Kairi finally stopped to catch her breath when she figured that she was far enough not to be seen. She looked around for a moment to regain her bearings.

Oh, she knew this route! Just a little further and she could get to the Central Square. Maybe that's where her grandma went!

She dodged the larger people around her as she pushed onward towards Central Square, but she stopped when she felt a hand on her shoulder. Turning around, she breathed a sigh of relief. It wasn't Lea or Isa after all. It didn't take Kairi long to recognize the distinctive dark haired girl with brown, almost red, eyes. "Tifa!"

"Kairi," the teen greeted. "What are you doing all alone out here? Haven't you heard? It's dangerous."

Kairi shook her head slowly, trying to remember hearing anything like that. Nothing came to mind, though. "No..." she said quietly, instinctively glancing around moving her hand to touch her necklace. "Why's it dangerous?"

"People have been disappearing," a deeper voice answered from behind Kairi. She turned around and saw a boy about Tifa's age with spiky blond hair and bright blue eyes.

"Cloud, there you are!" Tifa walked to his side and fondly put her arm around him. "I was starting to get worried. What would I do without my knight?" she said with a gentle smile.

"Why are people disappearing?" Kairi interrupted. What if her grandmother was one of the people? Was that why Kairi couldn't come along?

Cloud simply shrugged. "There have been rumors, but no one knows for sure. Just gone, without a trace..." Cloud looked pensive for a second before adding, "Probably kidnapped."

Kairi's eyes widened and she began to shiver. Kidnapped? Kidnapped? But... but she'd never heard of something like that happening here before... Despite Kairi's attempts to keep from crying, her eyes started to water. Tifa smiled and knelt down, noticing the girl's fear. "Don't worry, Kairi. Just be careful, and I'm sure you'll be okay. You're a tough kid."

Kairi sniffled and wiped away her tears. She had to be tough... for her grandma! She had to find her, quick! Managing a shaky smile, Kairi nodded at Tifa.

"Are you out here with your grandma?"

Kairi shook her head again and looked around. The crowd was small enough that if her grandmother were among it, Kairi would know. "I think she's in Central Square... I'll go see." Kairi immediately took off running, but stopped and turned around to wave goodbye to her two friends. "Bye Tifa, bye Cloud!" She saw Tifa and Cloud wave back before Kairi turned back around to keep going.



"Lea? Are you here to buy flowers?" Aerith asked, looking up from her garden at the red head. She hadn't expected to see him here. "What are you looking for?"

"A rare breed actually," Lea joked. "Red, purple, and white. I think it's called a... Kairi?"

Aerith raised an eyebrow inquisitvely. "Kairi? As in, cute little girl that plays in the flowers, Kairi?

"First of all," Lea started seriously. "She's devious and -"

"By devious, you mean she pulled you into a game you didn't want to play?" Aerith asked, giggling. "A little bold, but not exactly evil..."

"Hey, it's not my fault!" Lea protested.

"What isn't you fault?" Aerith stood up and patter the dirt off of her blue and white dress. Her bangs swayed slightly in the breeze while the rest of her long, brown hair, tied in a braid, lie still behind her. Looking to Lea with her green eyes, she asked, "Did something happen?"

"Yeah, well..." Lea laughed nervously and avoided meeting her gaze. "See, me and Isa are babysitting and we kind of... misplaced her."

"Misplaced her?" Aerith repeated, laughing at his word choice. "She ran off? Really, Lea? What did you guys do?" She stopped laughing and smiled reassuringly at him, taking his hand. "Kairi hasn't come by here today, but I'm sure she'll turn up. Just work a little harder to keep her next time!"

"But I have no idea where she ran off to, and we have to hurry and find her before her grandma comes back!" Lea argued.

Aerith placed her hand under her chin as she thought this over for a moment. Silently, she walked past Lea and closed her eyes, listening for something in the wind. Lea followed her and mimicked her actions. It was kind of calming, but not exactly helpful, so he stopped after a few seconds and just stared at Aerith.

"I know!" Aerith exclaimed, opening her eyes and beaming at Lea. "Try Central Square, she likes to go there!"

Lea tilted his head quizzically. He'd rather not just keep running around to places she liked to go, considering how well that worked out this time. Still, he had no other leads...

"Aerith!"

Lea and Aerith turned and saw Cloud and Tifa. "Cloud! You and Tifa picked up everything, right?"

Tifa nodded and held up the basket of groceries. "As requested! I'll get started on lunch." She started to walk inside, but stopped and added, "Oh, and we ran into Kairi while we were out. Hope she's okay... Didn't see her grandmother with her."

"Seriously?" Lea asked. "Where'd she go?"

"Towards Central Square..." Cloud said, a little suspicious. Tifa nodded and closed the door behind her. "Why?"

"Um..." Lea glanced at Aerith and noticed her slightly sly grin. "Long story." He didn't bother trying to explain before he rushed away, but from the sounds of it, Aerith was taking care of that. Great...
 

Mite

Kingly
Staff member
Joined
Aug 23, 2011
Messages
2,469
Awards
18
I bet Lea didn't mind looking for Kairi too much now. ;) Wonder why people are disapearing now. Interesting stuff is coming, I'm sure.
 

Mite

Kingly
Staff member
Joined
Aug 23, 2011
Messages
2,469
Awards
18
Around that time was when the apprentices started kidnapping people to perform experiments on their hearts, right? I think that was in one of the reports...
Oh yeah. I wasn't sure if your story was going to fit into the canon of the games, or be its own stand alone story.....and I forgot about that little fact. xD
 
Joined
Sep 19, 2011
Messages
2,239
Awards
3
Age
28
Location
In the great wide somewhere~
Oh yeah. I wasn't sure if your story was going to fit into the canon of the games, or be its own stand alone story.....and I forgot about that little fact. xD

Trying to keep it as canon as possible. By which I mean, trying not to contradict anything we do know for sure about that time while still keeping my story.
 

Gram

Banned
Joined
Oct 9, 2009
Messages
15,615
Awards
5
\^o^/ new chapter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! aw :3 little kairi cried<3
nice chapter tho now i dont know if cloud is dating aerith of tifa! DX er i mean hope they catch up to her :3 if this is during the time the apprentices kidnapped folk wouldnt it also be round the time xehanort sent her to DI?
 
Joined
Sep 19, 2011
Messages
2,239
Awards
3
Age
28
Location
In the great wide somewhere~
\^o^/ new chapter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry I took so long... ^^;

aw :3 little kairi cried<3
;w; Poor little Kairi

nice chapter tho now i dont know if cloud is dating aerith of tifa! DX
I don't know, either. ;)

er i mean hope they catch up to her :3 if this is during the time the apprentices kidnapped folk wouldnt it also be round the time xehanort sent her to DI?
Before then. :3
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top