Take Riku if you Can 2.0

[Diomedes]

Take out me trusty switch-blade and cuts through ropes. I then uses me own Riku locater, teleports to SL's location, kills SL once a for all (You can thank me later.). Teleports meself and Riku to a trans tmie-demension teleporter - that is protected by Pooh, Ed and Al from FMA, Mister Game&Watch, R.O.B., Jason Bourne, the Spartans, Sephiroth, Sin, Vincent, Yiazmat, Master Chief, Solid Snake, Samas Aran, Darth Vader, Yoda, Obi-Wan Kenobi, and Starkiller - and only be actived by an eternity code.

Any ways, I takes meslef and Riku to Middle Earth, where I enlist all the armies, all the ghosts, all the wizards, elves, dwarvse, orks, oriki, time-lords, ogres, naz'gel dragon-thingies, and the nine riders, as my personal body guards.

 

[Star Light]

Little did you know, that Star(me) can't die. I secretly am discuised as a wizard. I come and take Riku when your not looking and replace it with a stuff exploding Riku.

 

[blendedhearts]

Me: NOW, ZERO!

SL is smacked around and I take Riku as she struggles hopelessly.

Me: dang, Negatives are useful. Take Riku If You Can!

 

[Mynny]

K6: *get's to much smoke in lungs and dies*

Now wait one gosh darn shanking minute! That's not fair! And this is the third time I've been mistaken for a guy....><

Being prepared for these types of scenarios, I take out my inhaler. Not just a regular one, but one specifically designed to remove all harmful substances from my lungs. The smoke is removed after two puffs and I'm back in action.

I chase after BH with incredible speed (side effects of the inhaler) and take Riku right from under his nose, zooming off.

Riku: Slow down!
Me: I can't! I'm too jittery! We'll be on the move for a while!
Riku: Doesn't it say 'take as needed' on that thing!
Me: I took as much as I thought I needed, I just suck at guestimating *asd*, lay off you non-asthmatic!!! ><

 

[blendedhearts]

after the effects of the inhaler wear off, I search for K6 and Riku. once I find them, I call up Hari.

Me: *whispering* over there...

I point, and Hari fires an arrow straight at K6. as the arrow strikes her in the arm, I run out and grab Riku.

Me: take Riku if you can!

 

[Diomedes]

Unfortunatly for the lot of you, I, having thought far ahead using my superior logic and highly advanced brain, had swapped the REAL Riku with what Star Light THOUGHT was a stuff exploding Riku replica. So when SL swapped Riku with the exploding one, she took the fake one, and gave me the real one, which means that while you idiots have been fighting over 140 pounds of C-4, I had Riku all along, and what do I do?

I hide out in the place where Disney contracts their idiotic "musicians" - even if it means I have to go all out depressed. I then call the blackmarket and buy an AK-47, and wait for NASA to prep their next rocket launch.

So when the rocket is ready, I lead a one-man armed assault on Kennedy Space Center, take absolute control of the rocket, add an enginge that makes it go 100% faster than the speed of light, shoot Riku until all the bullets are in him, lock his corpse in the rocket, turn on the rocket, and send it on a crash course for the sun.

But when the "uber-enginge" turns, the entire Earth is turned into a giant fireball, explodes - unsurprisingly, this happens at the exact moment the LHC is turned on - and we have another Big Bang, resulting in a never ending repetition of history including all of this, stuck in a never ending time loop which had no beginning, therefore it always was, and will have no end, therefore it always shall be.

WHY DO YOU THINK WE KNOW OF NOTHING BEFORE THE BING BANG?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

P.S.This also proves the theories that people are idiots, and that only two things are infinite: the Universe, and human idiocy.

P.S.S. I've been thinking up this kind of stuff and other un-disprovable theories such as why half the rules in school counter-act themselves, as well as why trying to help will always make more difficulties than you started with ( take money for an example), and why the invention of the wheel will the ultimate distruction of the human race.

P.S.S.S. Humanity was fine until the Phoenicians came up with the idea of money, thats when the problems all started, but we completely screwed ourselves and the world when we invented the wheel. You know this is trye, your just to much of an idiot to realize it.

 

[Star Light]

Me: You know I only read the fact that you have Riku. Thanks. *takes Riku teleports away*
The Librator: x_x

 

[Diomedes]

Once again, you lose to my superior tactics, this time the fake Riku explodes with sedatives of all kinds flying in every direction at ludicrously high speeds. Feel free to come back in 10 years when the effects finally wear off.

 

[blendedhearts]

after casting the time reversal spell and making sure that tL is stopped from giving any fake Rikus to anyone, (which is illegal now that SI bought all rights to any fake Rikus,) I wrestle Riku out of SL's hands and fly off on Merin.

Hari: y'know, you could've had me fire an arrow, or had Zero knock her out.

Me: meh, I felt like mixing it up a little.

 

[Star Light]

Me: same here, thank you. *I took Riku. I appeared out of nowhere, little do they know*

Once they took Riku from me, I warped into the future and now have Riku.

Me: Adios!!

I warp in time to a diffrent time, where am I though. In the past or future?



I shall reveal later...

 

[blendedhearts]

I turn the time dial on my Tracker to find when Riku is.

After regaining control of Riku, (for full story, read a history book,) I return to the present and fly off on Merin.

Riku: dude, you need a hobby.

Me: this is my hobby.

Riku: then you need a girlfriend!

I swiftly knock Riku out cold.

Me: take this insensitive Jerk if you can!

 

[Star Light]

Me: To bad he has the wrong Riku. I'm taking baby Riku. If I have baby Riku then I always have Riku no matter what. Muwahahahaha... *I take baby Riku give it to my family which Riku grows up with. He does not change though.*

 

[blendedhearts]

I go back in Time and grab SL before she messes with Riku's past and after we return to the present, I stick an anti-time-travel chip on her. Riku returns to me and I continue flying off.

 

[Star Light]

I then teleport to BH. I then stick a non flying air travel chip on B.

ME: If I can't time travel, you can't fly.

BH is falling and falling to the ground. I'm standing on a cliff watching BH fall.

 

[blendedhearts]

Me: that's not fair!!! time travel just makes things confusing!!!

I send a SI nano-bot to destroy the chip. once that's done, Merin flies in and catches me.

 

[Superschlock]

I get REALLY REALLY tall stilts, and grab Riku

 

[blendedhearts]

try again.

 

[Star Light]

I then destroy my chip taking Riku, I time travel into a diffrent toime again.

 

[blendedhearts]

as SL appears a little later, I jump her and destroy her time machine. then, I knock her out and take Riku. I then summon a cage and leave her there, locked up.

Me: take Riku if you can!

 

[Mynny]

*jumps off Mihari*

Me: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIC!!!!!!!!!!

I slap a piece of paper on BH's head that has "Begone" on it. He is confused, because nothing happens. SO I take another piece of paper and cover his mouth.

Me: Good luck removing that. B'bye! *zooms off with Riku*