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Seraphim_000

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Dec 7, 2005
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Puerto Rico
Hey guys this ij just something i did yesterday i need your feedback please

Chapter 1
The World in Beetween

It has been two years since the events of Kingom Hearts, Kairihas matured into a young woman and still thinks about her long itme friends Sora and Riku. She did not realize it but the bond beetween the three of them wqas stonger that she thought, her love for them transcended time and space, she alone has the power to bring them back.

After Sora and Riku disappeared Kairi sought after a way to bring them back she trained and studied the ansem report Sora had left her to see if she could go an find them. Kairi had left for disney castle to talk to King Mickey and see if he gave her permission to go after her friends throught the door in Hollow Bastion Basement, the king denied her request, knowing she could get hurt or even worse be lost to this owrld if she left.

Kairi : Please your highness i need to find them they're my best friends i can't just leave them

King Mickey : I know that your journey is tru but i cannot let you go, ask yourself is this why sora gave his life for you so you could throw it away.

Kairi : No, I know that that he would want me to stay here were it's safe.

King Mickey : Very well now off you go then.

Kairi left the the throne room and headed to the door when she heard a sound.

Kairi : What , Who's there ?

Dark Figure :You want to find Sora.

Kairi : Yes of course

Dark Figure : Very well follow me.

The Dark Figure was leading Kairi down to the basement of the castle and there she found some familiar faces it was donald and goofy waiting for her next to a gummi ship they had built with the help of the dark figure.

Kairi : Donald , Goofy how are you I've missed you.

Donald : We've been fine since Sora left we've been thinking of a way to find him so while buying some gummi block and other things this dark figure told us he would help us find Sora if we'de take him along with us .

Kairi : Donald are you sure we can trust him ?

Goofy : Of course we can Kairi he help us build the ship after all

Donald : I don't think he would help us if he wanted to hurt us

Kairi : Ok then when do we leave ?

Dark Figure : As soon as possible.

Kairi : But... The king he has guards everywhere.

Dark Figure : Who said we're leaving ?

Kairi : Ok so if we're not leaving how are we going to save Sora and Riku

Donald : From what the young man said (i.e. the Dark Figure), that's why we need you, your bond with them is stronger than anything any od us has seen, through you we can open a door to where Sora and Riku are, and for that you need a Keyblade.

Kairi : A Keyblade me. Are you sure the're no other way, besides were are we going to find a Keyblade for me.

Dark Figure : you can use mine. The Dark Figure proceeded to pull from under his cloak a black Keyblade that resembled the Oblivion, but red and black and with a metal skull hanging form it's end

Donald : (Gasp) You have a Keyblade ?

Goofy : (Garsh) eveybody has a Kayblade now

Kairi : I can't use your Keyblade It's yours.

Dark Figure : Just trust me, If I'm right you can also use this Keyblade.

Kairi : Fine I'll Try, wait I'll use my symbol.

Kairi proceeded to change the hanging skull from The Dark Figures Keyblade and hang her's a blue rose. Upon locking the new symbol in place the Keyblade change from it's dar red and black colors to a light blue with a heart as a handle and gold leetering reading : Love and friendship conquer all.
 

Faith Crest

Worst birthday ever.
Joined
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Seraphim_000 said:
Hey guys this ij just something i did yesterday i need your feedback please

Chapter 1
The World in Beetween

It has been two years since the events of Kingom Hearts, Kairihas matured into a young woman and still thinks about her long itme friends Sora and Riku. She did not realize it but the bond beetween the three of them wqas stonger that she thought, her love for them transcended time and space, she alone has the power to bring them back.

After Sora and Riku disappeared Kairi sought after a way to bring them back she trained and studied the ansem report Sora had left her to see if she could go an find them. Kairi had left for disney castle to talk to King Mickey and see if he gave her permission to go after her friends throught the door in Hollow Bastion Basement, the king denied her request, knowing she could get hurt or even worse be lost to this owrld if she left.

Kairi : Please your highness i need to find them they're my best friends i can't just leave them

King Mickey : I know that your journey is tru but i cannot let you go, ask yourself is this why sora gave his life for you so you could throw it away.

Kairi : No, I know that that he would want me to stay here were it's safe.

King Mickey : Very well now off you go then.

Kairi left the the throne room and headed to the door when she heard a sound.

Kairi : What , Who's there ?

Dark Figure :You want to find Sora.

Kairi : Yes of course

Dark Figure : Very well follow me.

The Dark Figure was leading Kairi down to the basement of the castle and there she found some familiar faces it was donald and goofy waiting for her next to a gummi ship they had built with the help of the dark figure.

Kairi : Donald , Goofy how are you I've missed you.

Donald : We've been fine since Sora left we've been thinking of a way to find him so while buying some gummi block and other things this dark figure told us he would help us find Sora if we'de take him along with us .

Kairi : Donald are you sure we can trust him ?

Goofy : Of course we can Kairi he help us build the ship after all

Donald : I don't think he would help us if he wanted to hurt us

Kairi : Ok then when do we leave ?

Dark Figure : As soon as possible.

Kairi : But... The king he has guards everywhere.

Dark Figure : Who said we're leaving ?

Kairi : Ok so if we're not leaving how are we going to save Sora and Riku

Donald : From what the young man said (i.e. the Dark Figure), that's why we need you, your bond with them is stronger than anything any od us has seen, through you we can open a door to where Sora and Riku are, and for that you need a Keyblade.

Kairi : A Keyblade me. Are you sure the're no other way, besides were are we going to find a Keyblade for me.

Dark Figure : you can use mine. The Dark Figure proceeded to pull from under his cloak a black Keyblade that resembled the Oblivion, but red and black and with a metal skull hanging form it's end

Donald : (Gasp) You have a Keyblade ?

Goofy : (Garsh) eveybody has a Kayblade now

Kairi : I can't use your Keyblade It's yours.

Dark Figure : Just trust me, If I'm right you can also use this Keyblade.

Kairi : Fine I'll Try, wait I'll use my symbol.

Kairi proceeded to change the hanging skull from The Dark Figures Keyblade and hang her's a blue rose. Upon locking the new symbol in place the Keyblade change from it's dar red and black colors to a light blue with a heart as a handle and gold leetering reading : Love and friendship conquer all.
Um, this doesn't belong here. It belongs in the Fan Fiction section ...
 

Nebula Zero

THE GREATEST ATTACK EVER
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yeah, this goes in the fanfic section, and plz dont use script form. it sucks and are only used by n00b writers who dont like or want to put descriptions. Try harder cause unless u do, i will begin to flame u for this. i despise these kind of stories, short, no detail, and basically crap overall.

Wait, was that a flame? if it sounded like that, its a warning flame.:cool:
thank you and have a nice day.
 

Faith Crest

Worst birthday ever.
Joined
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Forever Lost said:
yeah, this goes in the fanfic section, and plz dont use script form. it sucks and are only used by n00b writers who dont like or want to put descriptions. Try harder cause unless u do, i will begin to flame u for this. i despise these kind of stories, short, no detail, and basically crap overall.

Wait, was that a flame? if it sounded like that, its a warning flame.:cool:
thank you and have a nice day.
Yeah, it was a warning flame. And I'm telling you to keep calm. Take deep breaths ...
 

Nebula Zero

THE GREATEST ATTACK EVER
Joined
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ok, whatever. i'm calm now. ty. now, im sort of calm now, but u better try harder. a good story is never made in half an hour....nope, nope they arent:cool:
 

Nebula Zero

THE GREATEST ATTACK EVER
Joined
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uuuhhhhhhhhhhh, dude, no one does XD....so its best to learn from ur mistakes and make it better. or else 'teh muffin soldiers' will flame the heck out of u. I've seen their work. 12 whole pages of flames cause sum writer put her stories in script mode. wasnt a pretty sight.
 

Faith Crest

Worst birthday ever.
Joined
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Messages
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Age
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Website
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Forever Lost said:
uuuhhhhhhhhhhh, dude, no one does XD....so its best to learn from ur mistakes and make it better. or else 'teh muffin soldiers' will flame the heck out of u. I've seen their work. 12 whole pages of flames cause sum writer put her stories in script mode. wasnt a pretty sight.
Yeah, the first time I put my story on this forum the Muffin Man flamed me. And I rebelled. Woohoo!:)
 
O

Orochi Yashiro

Guest
Sneaky little bastard, I should reach right into the internet, come out your screen and kick your snitch ass.
 

NEO9011

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Joined
Jun 4, 2005
Messages
499
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In the disease
Hey I reported this a while ago, but it hasnt been closed yet, so I guess you're lucky. AND Im not a noob who thinks he can close threads.
 

Faith Crest

Worst birthday ever.
Joined
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Messages
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Age
34
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Seraphim_000 said:
Dang everybpdy so hostile i know now that it doens't belong here burningkeyblade already made that clear.
I'm not hostile. It happened to me, too. And everyone leave Seraphim_000 alone, he's a newbie! You mess with him, you mess with me! And Roxas, please don't speak Spanish.
 

Ulti

hurr hurr hurr
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I am very disappointed with a few people in this thread.
1.I am closing this since I think you already reposted it
2.If you flame, die. I hate flamers a lot. The guy didn't deserve it.
3.If I ever see such language again Orochi Yashiro...Just please control your fingers.
4.Thank you for the people who kept in flames and were nice.

~|Closing|~
 
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