Help/Support ► Parents are separating

[Antiquity]

Pretty much what Elegant said.
My parents (really my mom and step-dad) divorced when I was about 11 or 12. It was sort of the divorce I was hoping for since things were going downhill anyway. I still took it pretty evenly at my age, but at least you're taking it like you should be.

 

[Gatorade]

It wont be much of a difference considering all you had to do is walk five minutes to see your dad. Think of it this way two christmas's. Thats the only good thing about any divorce.

True, but with this economy, I think the Christmasses will be small. My dad will have to support 2 homes, my mom, and my sister and I. Hopefully my mom will get a job of some sort to have at least a little income coming on her side.

 

[xx kairi xx]

meh, im going thru the same - though the situations different because my mum and step-dad hate eachother. they argue pretty badly everyday so in a sense its a relief for them to be splitting up.
it seems as though ur handling it pretty well, though if you do need more support you could consider going to a councilor =3
since there isnt custody issues, it shouldnt affect you too much - make sure the visiting is on your terms though, so you wont be limited on the amount of access you have to either parent.
dont allow either parent to make you take 'sides' - such a thing can happen, especially if it goes through the court, although due to what you've said it doesnt sound like it will come to that.
and also talk to them about the situation, ask any questions you may have and give your opinion on what you think should/shouldnt happen (xmas etc) - its important that you get a say aswell, especially as it could affect how you will be living afterwards.

n'ways im sure it will work out fine,
hope this helps you =3

 

[Gatorade]

meh, im going thru the same - though the situations different because my mum and step-dad hate eachother. they argue pretty badly everyday so in a sense its a relief for them to be splitting up.
it seems as though ur handling it pretty well, though if you do need more support you could consider going to a councilor =3
since there isnt custody issues, it shouldnt affect you too much - make sure the visiting is on your terms though, so you wont be limited on the amount of access you have to either parent.
dont allow either parent to make you take 'sides' - such a thing can happen, especially if it goes through the court, although due to what you've said it doesnt sound like it will come to that.
and also talk to them about the situation, ask any questions you may have and give your opinion on what you think should/shouldnt happen (xmas etc) - its important that you get a say aswell, especially as it could affect how you will be living afterwards.

n'ways im sure it will work out fine,
hope this helps you =3

This gives me an idea. I think I will want to sit down with my parents and make "conditions". Maybe like I get to go to my Dad's house whenever I want and I get to spend Xmas wherever I want. Things like that. Good idea?

 

[XIV-Lawliettre]

This gives me an idea. I think I will want to sit down with my parents and make "conditions". Maybe like I get to go to my Dad's house whenever I want and I get to spend Xmas wherever I want. Things like that. Good idea?

(my mom, NOT ME) I think that is a good but not an amazing idea, You should clear all your doubts while WATCHING OUT FOR PARENTAL ALIENATION THIS IS IMPORTANT and those kinds of conditions are in your right you can make them happen without any problem BUT! remember, everytime you ask your dad to do something "to", "with" or "for" your mom or vice versa, you have to have in mind how will it affect them, you and everyone's relationship! and also ask it in a humble way! many parents dont know that you are in your right to do this!

 

[Vossler]

This gives me an idea. I think I will want to sit down with my parents and make "conditions". Maybe like I get to go to my Dad's house whenever I want and I get to spend Xmas wherever I want. Things like that. Good idea?

Sorry about the incedent PM me if you want to talk. Just to let you know you have to go to whoevers house that the court ordates so your mom or dad may get more custody over you.

 

[Aucune Raison]

You've got it easy.

Just live your life.

 

[Gatorade]

(my mom, NOT ME) I think that is a good but not an amazing idea, You should clear all your doubts while WATCHING OUT FOR PARENTAL ALIENATION THIS IS IMPORTANT and those kinds of conditions are in your right you can make them happen without any problem BUT! remember, everytime you ask your dad to do something "to", "with" or "for" your mom or vice versa, you have to have in mind how will it affect them, you and everyone's relationship! and also ask it in a humble way! many parents dont know that you are in your right to do this!

I agree, but I don't think my parents will get indignant if I try and spend equal time with each. And that's exactly what I want to do.

Sorry about the incedent PM me if you want to talk. Just to let you know you have to go to whoevers house that the court ordates so your mom or dad may get more custody over you.

There's no lawsuit and there's no fight over custody.

You've got it easy.

Just live your life.

Well it still sucks. I realize that I have it easy compared to other people in this situation, but it isn't a walk in the park.

 

[XIV-Lawliettre]

I agree, but I don't think my parents will get indignant if I try and spend equal time with each. And that's exactly what I want to do.

(my mom again...) Is not that they get indignant, is that if you've just fought over cleaning up your room with your mom in christmas (or any other day) and because of the impulse you decide to go to your dad's place ( or vice versa) that will only harm the relationship plus you have to remember even though he will be living 5 minutes from your house, he may not be available all the time so get that into consideration. best of lucks!

 

[Gatorade]

(my mom again...) Is not that they get indignant, is that if you've just fought over cleaning up your room with your mom in christmas (or any other day) and because of the impulse you decide to go to your dad's place ( or vice versa) that will only harm the relationship plus you have to remember even though he will be living 5 minutes from your house, he may not be available all the time so get that into consideration. best of lucks!

Oh okay well thanks for the advice, it is very much appreciated.

 

[XIV-Lawliettre]

Oh okay well thanks for the advice, it is very much appreciated.

No, Thank you for listening! I hope you find your safe and happy way out of this situation

(my mom obviously)

 

[Vossler]

I agree, but I don't think my parents will get indignant if I try and spend equal time with each. And that's exactly what I want to do.

There's no lawsuit and there's no fight over custody.

Oh okay then but this tough for kids but things should be okay.

 

[xx kairi xx]

This gives me an idea. I think I will want to sit down with my parents and make "conditions". Maybe like I get to go to my Dad's house whenever I want and I get to spend Xmas wherever I want. Things like that. Good idea?

yes ^_^
though regarding xmas, it would be nice if you could all work something out since its such a specail occasion. but yes, you've got the general idea =3

 

[nelly <3]

My parents have been divorced for the past 8 yrs.
Because my real dad was a jerk and my mother was unhappy. so she left him.

I don't think much of my real dad.
I haven't seen him since.

a few years later my mom got remarried with my current stepdad.
Everything's been alright since.
She's happy. He's happy.
I'm like, "kayyyy, w/e floats your boat."

So yeah.
I don't know what advice to give you. I mean, it all depends what kind of relationship you have with your parents.

If your parents are really unhappy with each other. Let them get their divorce.
I always put my mom's happiness before mine.

also, your like 15.
the world's not gonna end.
Luckily your dad lives 5 minutes away.

Unlike mine, I swear I think he's dead cause I haven't heard from him in 8 years and that's pretty sad.

 

[Orion]

It wont be much of a difference considering all you had to do is walk five minutes to see your dad. Think of it this way two christmas's. Thats the only good thing about any divorce.

He's got a good point. I can vouch for that.

 

[Gatorade]

So I was just talking to my mom about where I was going to be living. She said I won't be spending much time at my dad's but I really want to spend equal time at both.

I understand that I will be spending most of my time at my current house during the school year, but during the summer, I want to go where I want, when I want.

Oh my mom said that the courts will decide it. Will I be able to testify or anything?

 

[Lycanthrope]

Fortunately, it is very civil. Like I said, I'm glad about that. I'm sorry about your situation, it doesn't sound too great.

Really, getting away from my father is the good part, but the whole situation was emotionally draining and scarring.

But it doesn't seem like there is anything you can do to stpo the divorce, so as I said, just let your parents work out the legalities by themselves in a civil manner. And I hope it all comes out the best way possible for you.

 

[Gatorade]

Alright well I know this thread is old, but I just thought I would let you guys know that things are going pretty well. My dad is still moving a few things out but hes been gone for a little more then a week, although i already spent 2 days with him. His new house is really nice and I like to go there. Things seem to be staying pretty civil, but that could change. But as of now, things are going remarkably well.