Help/Support ► Oh boy.

[Mason Stark]

...Yay, I'm not normal! I don't have guy problems, just some family problems sometimes. :d

My dad is working his way into a divorce. Seriously. I'm kinda apathetic about the whole situation, but I also don't want it to happen. My mom loves my dad but he's probably depressed and he's doing things to make her VERY angry. He's spending money that we don't have, he's not happy, he's locked up in a room all the time, he's lazy {even though he proclaims that he's not and got mad when he was told that he was), and takes out his anger on everyone else. I'm stuck with him a lot because my mom has to work and, though I don't really talk to him that much, he will take his anger out on me if he's mad or just plain unhappy. He needs to get out of the house and talk to people, not sit on his butt all day. This has happened before and he got out of it, but alas, it's back and better than ever! !

I want to tell him something but I don't have the guts to. I'm VERY mad at him for things that he's done over the past few days and I want to tell him what's he's in for if he keeps on acting the way he is. I don't know if my mom has said anything, so I'll see if I can find that out first. But, if I can say it, I don't know if I have the guts to spit it out right in front of him. I'm a very shy person and, since I don't talk to my dad that much, it's really hard for me to say stuff to him sometimes. So, how do I get the courage to say something to him? Even if it's just to spit it out really quick and run the opposite way, I just need to say it somehow but I don't know how!

Yeah, that's about it. ^^; Thanks in advance to anyone who helps me out! I really appreciate it. :]

 

[Genocide]

Best thing to do is to just do it.
Nothing happens when you don't and everything stays the same.

What's the worst thing he can do to you? Yell?
The fact that you're telling him means a whole lot and it'd hit pretty lose to home.

Overall, just calmly speak your mind. Your dad will listen.

 

[Lancelot]

I agree with Karate on this. Just try blurting it all out. Don't let him interrupt you at all, just keep it all coming out until you'e gotten your point across. If it comes to him yelling, let it spur you on more to retaliate with what you need to say. Don't back down from it, even if you are shy.

 

[Silh]

Minus the divorce part (my mom's too timid to do anything), your dad sounds a lot like mine. My family's confronted my dad about the problems he's been bringing us several times now. It usually doesn't work because of how stubborn (and in my case, self-righteous; might or might not apply to your dad as well) he is.

So from personal experience, it really all depends on how much he's willing to cooperate if you tell him. You have nothing to worry about on your part. You don't really have anything to lose either, since down's the only direction your family will keep going if he keeps it up.

 

[Lifes.Lover]

Oh, woe is the person who has to deal with parents who don't listen.

While this isn't like what's happening to me, it is in some ways. My father is a selfish, self-centered bastard who likes to put double standards on everything.

But it's hard to tell your daddy what you think, even though I've been wanting to now for a long time. He makes everyone in my family miserable, and my mother has been threatening to leave him since I was about five years old.

She won't, though, because she doesn't want to be alone, or have to go back to work (they're both retired). And she still loves him.

I used to be a lot like you- at least in the shy department. Me raising my voice above a whisper was unheard of (no pun intended). I didn't ever antagonize my parents, or the rest of my family, and I quite simply faded into the background. My mother has even told me this.

But, for about a year and a half now, I've been much more outspoken. I have even told my father what I thought about him, and that he needed to change.

It didn't do any good, but he does realize that he's doing things wrong.

I'm only telling you this, because I highly doubt you truly care about my family situations, is so that you'd understand that you can get up the courage to tell him what's wrong.

Perhaps you and your mother can get together and calmly tell him what's wrong. Why you feel the way you feel, why you think he should change, and perhaps even take it so far as to forcibly remove him from the house.

You should also make sure that you're calm. You're probably angry and upset with the way he's been acting. Showing this won't help your argument any. It'll just deteriorate into a shouting match that won't end well for either you or your father. You also shouldn't tell him off. No matter how he acts, he's still your dad, and should be treated with respect. Or so my mother tells me.

It's hard telling a parent just what you think of them. But it can be done. You just have to think about what you're going to say, why you're going to say it and if saying it all will really be worth it. Do you honestly think that he will listen?

 

[Wicked]

I think, instead of bursting out randomly all this stuff to him, it wuld be better to say a sentense or couple of words to him. That will hit him hard. And you said that you don't real talk to him much, it will hit im harder.

 

[Rain]

Say what you have to say to your father now.If you don't you'll just regret it and then it will make you wonder,"What if what I said could have changed something ?" I don't think it would affect you as much though since you're older than me.

 

[Aliahya]

some things a better left unsaid until the right time, i suggest spend some more time with him, even if its just watching tv with him. build up a stronger relationship with him until you can calmly talk over the situation.

or

tell you mom and dad, make sure moms not siting next to u or father might think uto are ganging up on him.sit down at the table and say i need you to listen to this, its important to me, i understand that u may not like some parts but its what i feel and i cant help if its like that way. I understand if you may think its silly or im not talking senses but as i said its just what i feel and i need your help to get it off my chest. ...Start off with something small like... it sorta began the other day when dad etc etc..

if you take tis advice remain calm and if they rebut tell them u understand there point of view. dont focus just on the negative either.

in the end if u want to get him out of the house find a hobby that he like a sport or something u know he's good at and ask him to teach u. if he says maybe later, say okay after dinner then or hey how bout after this show can i watch it with u it looks good.

over all just have courage, its easier to talk to friends about problems then family, but it has to be done.

 

[Raz]

Say what's on your mind in the most honest way possible.

 

[revarai20]

Talk it out and make sure that he's listening. Make sure you are heard. I'm sure that's the best advice I can give you at the moment. Hope it works out!

 

[Wicked]

Has it worked out?

 

[Shadowysights]

...Yay, I'm not normal! I don't have guy problems, just some family problems sometimes. :d

My dad is working his way into a divorce. Seriously. I'm kinda apathetic about the whole situation, but I also don't want it to happen. My mom loves my dad but he's probably depressed and he's doing things to make her VERY angry. He's spending money that we don't have, he's not happy, he's locked up in a room all the time, he's lazy {even though he proclaims that he's not and got mad when he was told that he was), and takes out his anger on everyone else. I'm stuck with him a lot because my mom has to work and, though I don't really talk to him that much, he will take his anger out on me if he's mad or just plain unhappy. He needs to get out of the house and talk to people, not sit on his butt all day. This has happened before and he got out of it, but alas, it's back and better than ever! !

I want to tell him something but I don't have the guts to. I'm VERY mad at him for things that he's done over the past few days and I want to tell him what's he's in for if he keeps on acting the way he is. I don't know if my mom has said anything, so I'll see if I can find that out first. But, if I can say it, I don't know if I have the guts to spit it out right in front of him. I'm a very shy person and, since I don't talk to my dad that much, it's really hard for me to say stuff to him sometimes. So, how do I get the courage to say something to him? Even if it's just to spit it out really quick and run the opposite way, I just need to say it somehow but I don't know how!

Yeah, that's about it. ^^; Thanks in advance to anyone who helps me out! I really appreciate it. :]

Well, all you an do is talk. Just try not to seem offensive. Unless your parents believe in corporal punishment....then, you're better off not saying anything.