Fanfiction ► No Friends,No Purpose.

[terra2.0]

This is like my first ever story, so expect some crappiness to it. Tell me what I can improve on and if u want me to write more.
XxXxXxXxXxXx
Prologue:"Where am I?" Riku asked as he gazed into the apparent endless abyss below him. His heart felt empty,his body,heavy. He sorefully regreted the way he had abanded his friends.
" Without friends, one has no purpose." Stated an unknown voice that echoed deeply through Riku's mind. On his little piece of levitating land, Riku summoned his prized blade Soul Eater,and decided to practice to get his mind off things. After a few slashes Soul Eater faded into darkness. Sweat dripped from his face, he clinched his chest, and after a moment of agonizing pain, Riku fainted.

 

[Nyangoro]

Well, it's definately interesting; there just isn't much to go on, lol. You should start chapter one

 

[LadyofShadow]

Uh-huh. I want to read what happens next. Just a little note, most people won't comment on Prologues. They usually wait till the first chapter is done to see how the story is going to go.

 

[Danica Syer]

I think you might need some editting, otherwise, it seems okay, I guess.

 

[terra2.0]

Riku arose from the ground, his heart still ached, the voice still echoed through his head, and he still regret betraying his friends. What had he gained from the betrayal, dark powers, physical strength? All of which meaningless unless he had something to protect.
" Do you regret what you did?" Asked the mysterious voice.
"Get ou of my head!" Riku yelled, his voice echoed throughout the abyss and eventually faded.
" If you want to reclaim friends, take the step through the door." Ended the voice. Riku opened his palm wide flat and wide, closed his eyes, and concetrated on getting the darkness to his palm. After a few seconds and portal of darkness opened in front of him. He opened his eyes and proceeded through the deep, dark, portal.

 

[Riku Fan1415]

This sounds like it's taking place after Kh1 and before Chain of Memories. Is it?

 

[terra2.0]

I have no timeframe for it but yah that would be cutting it close.

 

[cananthegreat]

It sounds great i'm keepin my eye on it lol

I second the longer statement i definetly had trouble with that :lol:

 

[terra2.0]

Thanks for the feed back man.

 

[Deeman]

Chapters aren't only a paragraph long, Terra 2.0.
Try working on extending the events of the story into more lengthy chapters. More importantly, take a considerate amount of time to write them.
You can use other published books for reference; some chapters go on for pages.

 

[terra2.0]

Like i said...first story.

 

[Tyler Durden]

And, please stop double/triple posting.

 

[LadyofShadow]

It does sound a little bit like Reverse Rebirth but I'm interested. Keep going!