lol, so do u want me to stop? Or keep up the grossness?
Fanfiction ► Legacy of the Marauders (an HP story)
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Keep it up!!! I love disturbing mental images!!!
u love it? I thought ur eyes twitching means that ur reeeeeeally disturbed, and wants me to stop
No, the eye twitch is a good thing.
intresting, u seem disturbed with the moogle buttsecks thing...........*shudders and twitches* great, now i have it stuck in my head, thanx alot T_T
Moogles having buttsecks? Where?
Pick-up Lines
Later that evening Sirius walked into the dormitory barking with laughter.
His three mates, who were spraying Easy Cheese from a can into each other's mouths, stared at him.
"What's up, Padfoot?" questioned James.
"The second Thomas Avery broke up with Bertha Jorkins outside the charms classroom Lockhart started flirting with her and he said the worst pick-up line. I lost my address, can I have yours?" Sirius answered, still chuckling. "Who would actually say that?"
Peter observed, "Obviously, he would."
"It was a rhetorical question, Wormtail," explained Remus patiently.
"Well, I've heard worse," James remarked. "My love for you is like diarrhea; I can't hold it in."
Peter added, "Or how about, I lost my teddy bear, will you sleep with me tonight?"
"We should be writing these down," commented Sirius. "Moony, you have the best handwriting, so you should write it."
Remus retrieved his quill and a piece of parchment and stated, "Not all pick-up lines are disgusting. For example: if I had to choose a star for each reason why I love you I would run out of stars."
Sirius gagged. "Hmm, do you have a mirror in your pocket?"
Remus eyed him quizzically. "No. Why?"
"Because I could really see myself in your pants."
Remus shook his head wearily.
"I have a sweet tooth and it tastes for you," James said.
Peter suggested, "For my birthday you don't need to wrap a gift for me as long as you wrap your legs around me."
Remus wore an expression of revulsion as he jotted it onto the list. "You should say, if I gave you a dozen roses and you looked in a mirror you would be gazing at thirteen beautiful things."
"Nah," James responded. "If sexiness were a band you would rock my world."
"How many are we up to," inquired Peter.
"Nine," replied Remus.
"Then let's each think of one more; that way we can have Moony's thirteen beautiful things," Sirius joked. Remus whipped a pillow at him, which he caught easily.
James declared his last pick-up line, "If you like music then you can be the instrument that I play on."
Sirius volunteered, "If you want love we'll make it."
Peter stated, "Your tongue is like chocolate; it melts in my mouth."
"You are not the woman of my dreams, you are so much more than that," completed Remus.
"Girls really would like the ones that you said," Peter informed Remus unnecisarrily.
Sirius commenced chanting to the tune of Yankee Doodle,
"Girls are so swoony,
Over Marauder Moony,
Cause he knows what to say,
to take their breath away!"
Peter applauded enthusiastically.
Remus rolled his eyes. Sometimes it was difficult being the sensitive one, however, he was also the most logical one; therefore he quickly thought of an amusing way to gain his revenge.
"Let's play dare of double dare," Remus recommended. The Marauders never played truth or dare.
"Brilliant!" the animagi instantly agreed.
Remus smiled mischievously. "Good. Padfoot, dare or double dare?"
Sirius shrugged. "Doesn't matter."
"I double dare you to declare your undying love to Professor McGonagall, starting with one of the pick-up lines on our list."
James remarked, "Good one, Moony."
Feigning arrogance, Remus stood and bowed deeply.
"C'mon," said Sirius eagerly. He would almost certainly receive a detention for this, yet it would be humuorous. To Sirius Black, fun was the number one priority.
The foursome strolled down the boys' staircase into the common room. As soon as they entered all of the girls sighed dreamily. Hogwarts' female students fawned over James' charm, Sirius' looks, and Remus' sensitivity.
Sapphire got up and put her arms around Remus protectively. "How are you, Remmy?" she asked him sweetly.
"Wonderful now that you are here," Remus answered cheerfully. "My beautiful jewel, is there something you wanted?"
Uncharacteristically, Sapphire winked in response and walked out of the portrait hole swishing her golden hair behind her.
"Ooooooh," teased James, Sirius, and Peter.
Remus blushed when Sirius elbowed him and urged, "Go on then, mate. We can finish the game without you."
Remus nodded, still flushed, and exited.
James snickered, "We won't be seeing them for a while."
"C'mon," repeated Sirius.
"Where are you going?" inquired Sirius' girlfriend, Jessie.
"To proclaim my everlasting love to your aunt," he grinned.
"Please," said Jessie slowly. "Tell me you're joking."
"Nope, it was a dare," Sirius explained.
Jessie only shook her head as the trio went to McGonagall's office. After all, what would you do if your boyfriend were about to tell your aunt he loved her?
Sirius rapped on the door, which was decked with a Christmas wreath.
McGonagall opened the door and appeared thoroughly surprised to see them. "Can I help you?" she demanded. She had taught them for seven years, and thus knew they could only be there to cause trouble.
"You are not the woman of my dreams. You are so much more than that," declared Sirius solemnly.
"Excuse me?"
"It's true; you have incomparable beauty and an incredible intellect. I love you with all of my soul and I want, no I need, to stay by your side forever," Sirius elabourated dramatically. He took McGaonagall's hand and kissed it.
She snatched her hand way and felt his forehead. "Black, are you ill?"
"Of course not. It isn't a fever that makes think that you are the most amazing lady in the universe; it's love," Sirius replied.
"Are you going to get married?" Peter squeaked.
"I'm going to be the best man," announced James loudly.
"Quiet down," MvGonagall ordered. She really did not want another member of the staff hearing this.
"Sorry Professor," responded James. "You see, I was a P.A. system in my last life."
"How about this for our wedding song?" Sirius sang, "Every move you make, every step you take, every smile you fake I'll be watching you!""
"Oh fabulous; a stalker!" McGonagall thought and crisply interupted, "Sorry to break your heart, Black, but my heart belongs to another."
"Dumbledore," James coughed under his breath just loud enough for her to hear and he could have sworn that he saw her cheeks redden.
Sirius wailed, "You don't love me?! NOOOOOO!" He began weeping on James' shoulder.
James patted his back. "It is all right, mate." He smirked at McGonagall. "You could do better."
McGonagall rolled her eyes behind her square spectacles. "Good day, boys." Only after she slammed the door did she allow herself to laugh, amused. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like the noise a cow makes right before it vomits.
The three boys cracked up all the way back to the common room.
"Padfoot, it's your turn," Peter pointed out.
"Oh yeah. Prongs, dare or double dare?"
"Double dare."
"I double dare you to...kiss...
Later that evening Sirius walked into the dormitory barking with laughter.
His three mates, who were spraying Easy Cheese from a can into each other's mouths, stared at him.
"What's up, Padfoot?" questioned James.
"The second Thomas Avery broke up with Bertha Jorkins outside the charms classroom Lockhart started flirting with her and he said the worst pick-up line. I lost my address, can I have yours?" Sirius answered, still chuckling. "Who would actually say that?"
Peter observed, "Obviously, he would."
"It was a rhetorical question, Wormtail," explained Remus patiently.
"Well, I've heard worse," James remarked. "My love for you is like diarrhea; I can't hold it in."
Peter added, "Or how about, I lost my teddy bear, will you sleep with me tonight?"
"We should be writing these down," commented Sirius. "Moony, you have the best handwriting, so you should write it."
Remus retrieved his quill and a piece of parchment and stated, "Not all pick-up lines are disgusting. For example: if I had to choose a star for each reason why I love you I would run out of stars."
Sirius gagged. "Hmm, do you have a mirror in your pocket?"
Remus eyed him quizzically. "No. Why?"
"Because I could really see myself in your pants."
Remus shook his head wearily.
"I have a sweet tooth and it tastes for you," James said.
Peter suggested, "For my birthday you don't need to wrap a gift for me as long as you wrap your legs around me."
Remus wore an expression of revulsion as he jotted it onto the list. "You should say, if I gave you a dozen roses and you looked in a mirror you would be gazing at thirteen beautiful things."
"Nah," James responded. "If sexiness were a band you would rock my world."
"How many are we up to," inquired Peter.
"Nine," replied Remus.
"Then let's each think of one more; that way we can have Moony's thirteen beautiful things," Sirius joked. Remus whipped a pillow at him, which he caught easily.
James declared his last pick-up line, "If you like music then you can be the instrument that I play on."
Sirius volunteered, "If you want love we'll make it."
Peter stated, "Your tongue is like chocolate; it melts in my mouth."
"You are not the woman of my dreams, you are so much more than that," completed Remus.
"Girls really would like the ones that you said," Peter informed Remus unnecisarrily.
Sirius commenced chanting to the tune of Yankee Doodle,
"Girls are so swoony,
Over Marauder Moony,
Cause he knows what to say,
to take their breath away!"
Peter applauded enthusiastically.
Remus rolled his eyes. Sometimes it was difficult being the sensitive one, however, he was also the most logical one; therefore he quickly thought of an amusing way to gain his revenge.
"Let's play dare of double dare," Remus recommended. The Marauders never played truth or dare.
"Brilliant!" the animagi instantly agreed.
Remus smiled mischievously. "Good. Padfoot, dare or double dare?"
Sirius shrugged. "Doesn't matter."
"I double dare you to declare your undying love to Professor McGonagall, starting with one of the pick-up lines on our list."
James remarked, "Good one, Moony."
Feigning arrogance, Remus stood and bowed deeply.
"C'mon," said Sirius eagerly. He would almost certainly receive a detention for this, yet it would be humuorous. To Sirius Black, fun was the number one priority.
The foursome strolled down the boys' staircase into the common room. As soon as they entered all of the girls sighed dreamily. Hogwarts' female students fawned over James' charm, Sirius' looks, and Remus' sensitivity.
Sapphire got up and put her arms around Remus protectively. "How are you, Remmy?" she asked him sweetly.
"Wonderful now that you are here," Remus answered cheerfully. "My beautiful jewel, is there something you wanted?"
Uncharacteristically, Sapphire winked in response and walked out of the portrait hole swishing her golden hair behind her.
"Ooooooh," teased James, Sirius, and Peter.
Remus blushed when Sirius elbowed him and urged, "Go on then, mate. We can finish the game without you."
Remus nodded, still flushed, and exited.
James snickered, "We won't be seeing them for a while."
"C'mon," repeated Sirius.
"Where are you going?" inquired Sirius' girlfriend, Jessie.
"To proclaim my everlasting love to your aunt," he grinned.
"Please," said Jessie slowly. "Tell me you're joking."
"Nope, it was a dare," Sirius explained.
Jessie only shook her head as the trio went to McGonagall's office. After all, what would you do if your boyfriend were about to tell your aunt he loved her?
Sirius rapped on the door, which was decked with a Christmas wreath.
McGonagall opened the door and appeared thoroughly surprised to see them. "Can I help you?" she demanded. She had taught them for seven years, and thus knew they could only be there to cause trouble.
"You are not the woman of my dreams. You are so much more than that," declared Sirius solemnly.
"Excuse me?"
"It's true; you have incomparable beauty and an incredible intellect. I love you with all of my soul and I want, no I need, to stay by your side forever," Sirius elabourated dramatically. He took McGaonagall's hand and kissed it.
She snatched her hand way and felt his forehead. "Black, are you ill?"
"Of course not. It isn't a fever that makes think that you are the most amazing lady in the universe; it's love," Sirius replied.
"Are you going to get married?" Peter squeaked.
"I'm going to be the best man," announced James loudly.
"Quiet down," MvGonagall ordered. She really did not want another member of the staff hearing this.
"Sorry Professor," responded James. "You see, I was a P.A. system in my last life."
"How about this for our wedding song?" Sirius sang, "Every move you make, every step you take, every smile you fake I'll be watching you!""
"Oh fabulous; a stalker!" McGonagall thought and crisply interupted, "Sorry to break your heart, Black, but my heart belongs to another."
"Dumbledore," James coughed under his breath just loud enough for her to hear and he could have sworn that he saw her cheeks redden.
Sirius wailed, "You don't love me?! NOOOOOO!" He began weeping on James' shoulder.
James patted his back. "It is all right, mate." He smirked at McGonagall. "You could do better."
McGonagall rolled her eyes behind her square spectacles. "Good day, boys." Only after she slammed the door did she allow herself to laugh, amused. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like the noise a cow makes right before it vomits.
The three boys cracked up all the way back to the common room.
"Padfoot, it's your turn," Peter pointed out.
"Oh yeah. Prongs, dare or double dare?"
"Double dare."
"I double dare you to...kiss...
Last edited:
<bump> POST ALREADY GODDAMMIT!!!!!
Nice........
disturbing isn't it? i wonder who James is going to kiss..........I'll think about it, we need more readers
Its either going to be Lily, or something really disturbing like Snape.
*shudders*
*shudders*
lol, wow u think like me......I'll tell ya this, it's going to be a name that starts with "li" and ends with "ly"
Its either Lily or that new kid Lilaimly lol
- Joined
- Jan 6, 2006
- Messages
- 425
................hmmmm,I wonder who could it be?
lol, are u guys pyhcic.?
Maybe..........I was able to predict when and where moogles were ingaging in buttsecks.
lol, I'll post next week, so u guys can suffer without a chapter for a while, right?
- Joined
- Jan 6, 2006
- Messages
- 425
noooooooooooooooooooooo!Ill die if I dont have a chapter!(But I have always wanted to no what its like to be dead)
NO! Well, I guess I deserve it since I was gone for so long (not by my own choice, I assure you), but don't punish the others! We are all dying to find out who James will kiss! Hm, Lily, Lilaimly, Lillily, Liferly, who will it be?! *shudders with Every Heart at thought of James kissing Snape* Let's hope it doesn't come to that {Translation: That would be so funny!}
Update!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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